They are all the nicest people, some shy, some teasing, but a lot of fun to be around. I find myself thinking about them often - perhaps because out of 8 kids there is only one girl, so age-wise there are “potentials” in the family. (I know, pretty twisted.) But I can’t think seriously about a relationship with someone who is content to stay where it’s safe, never gaining life experience, not even stepping outside themselves to help the family.

Another 20-something I know lived at home with his parents for the last year. But he was employed by his dad in a totally different scenario than the first family. He switched to working part-time and was active in music, children’s work, and audio recording at our church. For the summer he applied to a Christian camp to work as a counselor, and he ended up with a job for the whole year on staff at the camp. While he was living with his parents, he was also taking charge of his life and not depending on his parents to get him to the next step.

I don’t know if you can tell the difference between the two in what I’ve typed here, but there is a significant difference. Both are very nice, fun to talk to, and not “scary” to be around. But the directions their lives are taking, due to each individual’s initiative, are nearly night-and-day different. The contrast is more apparent when you know the people, of course.

There’s another family of six who attend our church. Their youngest is twenty, their oldest is married with a family. All but the oldest went to college for at least a year and came back with debt. Know what they did? They found a very small house that the three of them could rent together, and all three went to work at separate jobs to pay off their separate debts. All three have their own lives, not one of them is looking longingly toward their parents to save them from their mess. At least one of them is going to continue college part-time so she won’t incur any more debt.

The first family is not serious about life. Not really. The other two cases I mentioned couldn’t be more serious about life. That doesn’t mean they have no fun. The serious young adults can often have more fun than the kidults, because they have clear direction.

All that being said, I find myself drifting towards kidultness. I’m almost 19, and am going to college in the fall, halfway across the country from home. I plan on using this opportunity to grow up mentally. With the Lord’s help, I can be emotionally mature, even at 19. Some excuses may be given for kidultness, but a serious young person is vastly more admirable and attractive than a 28-year-old goofing away his life.

Death comes when you least expect it. Do you want to be remembered as the young person who had good intentions, but could never get away from the computer long enough to do anything about them? It is in your power to do hard things, great things, with your life right now. Why would you waste the limited time God has given you?

These are questions I must ask myself daily.

Although I’m Kidult who could take on more responsibility both financially and domestically, I will say this: I’m not the Failure to Launch variety whose mother makes pancakes every morning and dishes out money for every my impulse. No, I’m more of the Robert Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond who has a stable full time job and plans to save it up for that apartment—but doesn’t get around to moving out.

Regardless of what category of Kidult, I fit in, after reading some of the comments, I have a say one word: “ouch, ouch ouch.” Some of those comments are just painful. Take for example. “Unfortunately, I know several Kidults.” Are we the dreads of society? or “they are ridiculous” Do you really know us? or “people who live with their parents are scary.” After reading that one. I thought about becoming a hermit.

While, I find it refreshing to find an intellectually stimulating site designed for teenagers, I just have one reminder: please be kind. This blog is not only read by teenagers, but twenty-somethings like myself. Some who live at home. Please think about what you say and how you say it. Imagine if you were saying these things to your older brother/sister—would you still use the same tone?

Also, if it is any encouragement life as a Kidult is not what it‘s cracked up to be. While it may appear that Kidults are living it up, most of us are in tough position. We face the stark transition from the aggrandizing comments from our parents, teachers and professors who like us to the cutting comments of our bosses who don‘t always like us. If there’s one thing I learned from my boss, it’s that I can’t do anything right. No, this transition isn’t easy. And given the unstable economy and increases job competition, it won’t get any easier. More and more people will have to live at home.

Finally, this is my encouragement to Kidults like myself: don’t get discouraged. God can take any background and redeem it. I think of the story of the Prodigal Son. The Prodigal son was the ultimate Kidult who lived it up in parties, women and fine dining. While he wasn‘t the best steward of his resources, Luke focuses more time describing the Father’s joy than the son‘s failures. Delighted that his son came home, the father ran to him before his son had a chance to hide or mumble, “I’m sorry.” I like to believe that God celebrates our steps towards maturity—no matter how small or who sees it.

I know that growing up is hard—especially for us older folks (like me) since we have to unlearn bad habits. I know that many people look down on me for being “youthful” and it takes forever to earn trust, but I can‘t get discouraged. When I do reach maturity (although I question if any fully reaches maturity), I will have more compassion for the next batch of Kidults plugging away at life since I’ve already been there.

I left home at 17, I always lived with money from scholarships (I was born smart, I never had to study too hard to get good grades). I finish my undergrad in physics as the program said, when I was 21, then I spent 1 year doing research, and went straight for my PhD. I’ve been in the academia all my life, I still feel deeply inside as an undergrad. Our grad students parties look like the same as I used to attend in my early 20s.

Living on good scholarships transferred my dependency in my parents money to the “state” money. I was responsible at work, did good research, but, back home (rented apt, cause I never earn enough money to buy a house or safe for one) I behaved like a kid, I cooked simply stuff, I watched TV, I played sports, I did the ME, ME, ME things all the time.

I don’t feel ready to start a family. I could do very well for academic standards, but the payment just sucks, we do science cause we like it, but it feels that society takes that literally and pays us the amount of money just to survive (and we work almost 24hrs a day for 7 days a week, make a Google search and you”ll find what I’m talking about, society force us to become the stereotyped mad scientists).

I will take the pragmatic path from now on, “do what you love” has been a bad dream that didn’t help me to grow up in any other dept besides a narrow intellectual one. After I get my PhD I’m going to the industry, I already got an offer. They will pay me 3 times more than what a postdoctoral fellowship (yes, in basic science, the usual path after a PhD is not being a professor but a badly payed and stressed postdoc, with payments similar to a plumber) can offer me. I am gonna turn 29 and I do want to grow up in other depts.

Some people may say, well done, you worked hard for it, but at 28 it feels that I just lost my youth. At this point I would have been settled down in a career already and maybe planning to buy a house, but I took the tough path. In terms of relationships, I’ve always been a shy guy, so I dated very little. So I am far from those people that do nothing and move from relationship to relationship, yet I do feel that, since they have more experience in the real world (not in the Ivory tower).

I am so frustrated for living so poor and overworked since I left college that I will use the next 5 years to save money (lots), and enjoy life without responsibilities beyond work (I am pretty confident that I will do fine at work). I won’t grow up (as the article wants) until I recover the time lost.

I do not agree with the article, I am sure that kidults will do better when is about to finding a career and their soul mate, believe me, being in Academia (lots of theory) had thought me that experience (relationships, jumping from job to job, etc) is the best teacher, and the more experience you have in many different aspects of your life, will make you a better human being. Do just one thing for almost 10 years sucks.

The article was written by someone from another generation, of course they know nothing about mine one. We are what our parent made of us. If I ever have kids (something I think I will start looking for after the age of 35) I will made them aware that there is not better school that the experience. And that life is not perfect.