Three Teens Define “A Real Woman”
Written by Philip Hainline, Heidi Reimer, and Maria Reimer at the respective ages of 16, 19, and 17.
A real woman . . .
…is glad she’s a woman and rejoices in her femininity, expressing it through her attitude, appearance and bearing. (1 Timothy 2:9-10)…does not compete for equality with men or chafe at God’s design for male and female, but delights in and understands the importance of her calling to complement man’s role. (1 Timothy 2:11-12, Ephesians 5:22-24)
…values the cultivation of her mind and diligently seeks after wisdom and knowledge. (Proverbs 22:17-21, 2:2-6)
…realizes her imperative need to allow the Holy Spirit to control her emotions and expressions of them. (James 1:19-20)
…does not wallow in self-pity or make a habit of voicing complaints, but radiates cheerfulness and joy. (Proverbs 15:15, Proverbs 17:22)
A real woman . . .
…appreciates her father’s protection, and respects and submits to his authority. In so doing, she is preparing herself to exercise the Biblical role in her relationship with a possible future husband. (Ephesians 5:33-6:3, 1 Peter 3:1-2)…is trustworthy and gains the respect of those around her. (Proverbs 31:11)
…restrains herself from listening to, or participating in gossip, but instead speaks with wisdom and discretion. (Proverbs 11:12-13, 22, 20:19, 3:11)
…encourages and builds up those around her instead of criticizing and tearing them down. (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Ephesians 4:29)
…does not have a nagging, contentious or manipulative manner in which she deals with others. (Judges 16:16, Proverbs 21:9, 19, 26:21)
…is not boisterous or loud in her speech or actions but is characterized by a gentle and quiet spirit. (Proverbs 9:13, 1 Peter 3:4)
A real woman . . .
…portrays chastity, modesty and reverence in her manner, and wears the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is her true beauty. (1 Peter 3:3-4, Titus 2:4-5)…is not offended by respect shown her through gentlemanly courtesies (opening doors, etc.) but cultivates the differences between the sexes that make her worthy of this deference. (1 Peter 3:7, Mark 10:6)
…seeks to make God her number one desire and the Lover of her soul, knowing that only He can fully satisfy. (Psalm 73:25, Psalm 63:1)
…uses her years of singleness to seek and serve God without distraction, and is content to leave the details of her future to Him. (Psalm 73:25, Philippians 4:11)
A real woman . . .
…does not relate to members of the opposite sex in a flirtatious or forward manner, but instead saves all her passion for her future husband. (Thessalonians 4:3-8, Proverbs 6:25, 1 Corinthians 7:1)…holds her virginity before marriage sacred and will not compromise it for anything. (This one goes for guys too)
(1 Timothy 5:22)
Comment section is open to guys and gals on any issues pertaining to what makes a woman. Disagree with something? Tell us what and why.
February 1st, 2006 at 8:07 am
Hi Alex and Brett! Very interesting blog you have here. It’s so encouraging to read. I also noticed that in your recent entry post about “A real man…” you used one of the pictures from the OIL 2006 conference that I had recently attended. Your brother Josh Harris was a wonderful guest speaker and the messages he spoke were truly convicting. It’s no surprise that his twin brothers are also fervent in their faith! Witnessing both of your religious and intellectual stances in your blog gives me hope that our generation is not lost after all–that there are young people out there who care for future generations. The OIL retreat messages were mainly focused that and prayer for our present and future members of society. Well, if you had looked through the pictures I should be in one of them towards the end next to a girl in a red shirt, but there’s like a gazillion pictures… my description’s a little vague… :[ but anyways, keep up the goodness that you have going here! It’s such a blessing! I’m definitely going to tell my siblings about it.
God Bless~
February 1st, 2006 at 12:42 pm
This, too, is a great list…we have a high calling (or, is it “extreme”?
), and it’s not always easy to live up to it…but it’s encouraging to think that there are young men and women in our generation striving to live up to these goals and standards. Thanks so much…
February 1st, 2006 at 1:55 pm
Wow! This is a wonderful list! I have a lot to strive for!
February 1st, 2006 at 3:46 pm
I would like to say that these traits in a woman are very possible. Take courage woman of God, rise above the world, obey these demands of our one Heavenly Father, and through Him we can conquer the world for His crown and country!
February 1st, 2006 at 3:49 pm
wow, that is a great personal check-list for being a Godly woman!!!! I deff. have to work on a several of those areas, but it is wonderful to be reminded that this is how God expects us to live!!! Thank a lot!
abby
February 1st, 2006 at 7:32 pm
Whoa! What a list. I have not yet met one woman who meets every requirement perfectly. I don’t think there are many out there…. And for that matter, there can’t be many perfect men either…
February 1st, 2006 at 10:12 pm
whew. i’m printing that out, for sure!
but, it’s impossible, really.
….except for God’s grace.
hallelujah!!
February 1st, 2006 at 10:39 pm
I really appreciated both of these lists because they are both broad and narrow. They are broad enough to include people of all personalities, talents, interests, and cultures. Yet, they are so narrow that only a handful of men and women live up to their standards.
February 1st, 2006 at 10:52 pm
Isn’t it great how God doesn’t allow for complacency? “Be perfect, as I AM perfect.”
Our hope is not in achieving holy perfection, but in constantly growing, stretching, and maturing towards the likeness of Christ!
February 2nd, 2006 at 1:32 am
Thanks for posting this.
February 2nd, 2006 at 2:04 am
Oh man, there are some high expectations up there! Thanks for this you guys.
February 2nd, 2006 at 2:24 am
Wow. Great list- I need to work on some of those!
February 2nd, 2006 at 3:46 am
Yet again…excellent. I am going to print this out and put it where I can see it to remind me of my role as a woman. Do you think you guys will go into relationships between guys and girls in any of your posts?
February 2nd, 2006 at 4:14 am
That’s great, Lauren! I’m glad it inspired you.
We most likely will post more about guys and girls in the future… But we have touched on it little already. Recently, in fact. You’ll find some a good article, question, and a lot of great discussion, by reading this post.
February 2nd, 2006 at 6:22 pm
Wow…this is really challenging! I have a lot to work on. Thank you for posting it…I too will have to print it out
February 2nd, 2006 at 7:39 pm
What a lovely and encouraing post, brothers.
I am a fan of following concrete examples in women who have LIVED these traits, lest I manipulate such lists in their abstraction. Looking to concrete examples also produces a greater sense of charity and expectancy in the VARIETY of ways that God can form such graces in women’s hearts.
Some of my paradigms include the Virgin Mary, who said an ultimate Yes! to her Lord; all of the women whom St. Paul praises for their courageous work in the early Church; Florence Nightengale, ardent healer; Clara Barton, who did the same; Susanna Wesley, who raised revolutionary leaders for the Church; and Jesse Benton Fremont, who helped her husband by fighting for his honor and contributed greatly to our nation’s expansion…
February 2nd, 2006 at 7:49 pm
That’s awesome!
We have a lot to strive for to be in the imiage of Christ.
February 6th, 2006 at 4:43 pm
As I was reading William Prescott’s History of the Conquest of Mexico, I found in the appendix a document written by an Aztec mother (before Cortes) giving advice to her daughter about being a real woman. I give you the link both for historical interest and to prove that a sense of godliness transcends time, space, and cultures.
http://www.oldandsold.com/articles35/mexico-24.shtml
February 7th, 2006 at 7:17 pm
Commendable qualities for Christian women!
I was just wondering who posted the pictures to go along with the article?
One of the virtuous qualities a woman should have is modesty, as so eloquently stated, “A Real Womanportrays chastity, modesty and reverence in her manner, and wears the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is her true beauty. (1 Peter 3:3-4, Titus 2:4-5)”. Does the bare-shouldered bride picture that is posted with this article reflect or contradict this truth? Current fashion trends of the world embrace bare shoulders (and spaghetti straps) in wedding attire. As our culture is very sensuous, so are its fashions. Bare-shouldered dresses seem to suggest a state of partial undress. And yet, many Christians have jumped right in and compromise Christian modesty for weddings and reveal more of their bodies than would be fitting for the ” real woman” who bears the name of Christ. “Real men” would admit that bare-shouldered dresses are very sensual and provocative and challenge them to be even more vigilant to guard their thoughts and eyes. Real women” would be wise to save the unveiling of their bodies for the marriage bed instead of tempting the male attendees of their weddings to lust after her. Should not a bride clothe herself first to please her God, and then to honor her groom by keeping herself for him alone? Should not a Christian brides beauty be enhanced by discretion and modesty rather than cheapened by vanity and immodesty? Proverbs 11:22 says, Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion. Should not a Christian groom desire his brides modesty to extend to every area (and occasion) of her life? Should he not begin to cherish her as his own body, covering her and protecting her even as they celebrate in the wedding ceremony?
February 11th, 2006 at 2:08 pm
Thanks so much for posting about “A Real Woman.” I’ll be sharing this!
August 9th, 2006 at 8:24 am
This is a very good reminder of what we are striving for.I think that the goal here is not to be perfect ,because we will never achieve that on earth,but to improve.To push ourselves to grow spiritually more and more each day.Only when we see Jesus face to face will the work in us be perfected.
September 13th, 2006 at 10:15 pm
Sorry Girls but IMHO YOU will never make it… alone… the only way to meet and maintain this standard is with God in you working through you because only He is perfect. Of course this dosen’t mean you will never achieve this standard it just means you won’t if you work alone
I KNOW that I will NEVER be able to achieve the standards God has set before me in any area of my life without Him in me working in me and through me.
MGB ICL
Joshua
James 1:5
“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” (NIV)
September 17th, 2006 at 7:39 pm
your list is so encouraging guys.
i agree with joshua r. we can’t do it alone. both guys and girls, we need GOD. i’m usually a really independent person, and unfortunately i don’t depend on GOD for everything, i don’t trust HIM for everything.
we will never complete this list perfectly, but by trying it will help us grow closer to GOD, grow spiritually, grow in all areas.
by the way i’m loving your chivalry posts brett and alex.
September 20th, 2006 at 3:22 pm
Beautiful, well written post — one that I’m printing out. I really appreciate how you attached scripture to every point. Man can say alot of good things, but it is Christ’s Word that endures through everything.
September 23rd, 2006 at 7:09 pm
I tend to agree with Mary regarding the wedding attire of the modern-day bride.
Just today I was talking with my mom about how I feel that the exposure of a woman’s
shoulders, upper chest, and back (in public) somehow doesn’t seem fitting for one trying
to dress modestly - in a way that will not cause men to stumble.
I cannot wait to share my body with my husband, but personally, I don’t want any other
man to see that much of me!
I don’t, however, believe that women should walk around wearing only huge, baggy layers
which completely hide their bodies’ “female identity” (which distinguishes them from men).
George Washington’s 52nd Rule of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation reads “In your apparel be modest and endeavour to accomodate nature; rather than to procure admiration, keep to the fashion of your equals, such as are civil and orderly with respect to times and places.”
My family gets a kick out of that; it seems to strike a good balance!
October 1st, 2006 at 11:28 pm
[…] I thought this was just so good. It made me want to be like that. […]
October 8th, 2006 at 12:16 pm
wow these are really good things to challange yourself with and for me to keep as a priority. it also makes me thankful that God gave us examples and didnt just leave us out in the open.
October 11th, 2006 at 1:42 pm
I’m not sure if I agree with this one…
is not boisterous or loud in her speech or actions but is characterized by a gentle and quiet spirit. (Proverbs 9:13, 1 Peter 3:4)
I agree that she would be caracterized by a quiet and gentle spirit, but its not a sin to talk loudly.
October 16th, 2006 at 10:45 am
I just want to say that your page is really good!
and I agree with this list.
In this time its important to turn our eyes upon God and His word
Be blessed
October 23rd, 2006 at 3:49 pm
This is a good reminder when us girlies forget.
October 26th, 2006 at 1:38 am
I noticed that the women pictured are all wearing modest dresses(except the wedding dress). I think this prompts an important consideration; should young women wear dresses/skirts as the norm and save pants/jeans for particular activities like horseback riding, snow skiing, gardening, working with heavy machinery? I think it would be a special way of indicating to ourselves and others that we are embracing a definition of femininity that is counter-cultural and Biblically based.
November 7th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
Wow, GREAT STUFF!!!!
November 15th, 2006 at 5:16 am
That was incredible!
I second Lori’s question…
November 17th, 2006 at 8:29 pm
In an attempt to answer Lori’s question, the Bible says in Deuteronomy 22:5: “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment, for all that do so are an abomination unto the Lord thy God. (kjv)
November 24th, 2006 at 5:46 am
That is a very challenging list. May, by his grace, we, young ladies, be able to live up to it and be an example to others.
I am so happy to see a blog that doesn’t cut down Our Father’s holy name. May He bless you 100 times for the blessing this blog is.
November 29th, 2006 at 5:11 pm
I’m not going to disagree with Kelly or Lori - I think it is awesome when girls wear dresses, and I myself wear them to church etc, but of course we already know that wearing dresses in itself doesn’t make us more Christ-like, but I think it has to do with the attitude of our hearts. If we are seeking to serve men - young and old alike in the way we dress, then we won’t be going around wearing tight/low/belly shirts or tight jeans or short shorts. Wearing dresses with a wrong heart attitude can be just as bad as wearing the low shirt, and wearing a dress with the RIGHT attitude can even enhance our modesty. However, I myself believe that if we wear what we wear with modesty and we are attempting to bless those around us, it won’t REALLY matter if we are wearing dresses. It seems to me like people reflect the attitude of their heart often in the way they dress…so, anyway…all of this random musing to conclude with - dresses are great!
:)
~Lady Tai
December 12th, 2006 at 11:15 pm
Wonderful, wonderful list. It’s a big reality check for a self-righteous homeschooled pastor’s daughter here. I have still so much to learn in becoming a true woman of God. God is doing great things through you two. I can’t believe you’re just my age
Keep shining for Him 
December 14th, 2006 at 2:44 pm
Wow, that was super awesome! But I have a question about the first few, its like I LOVE being a girl. But, sports is one of my hobbies. I love football, basketball, baseball, vollyball. Any type, but when does it get were you arn’t being Lady like? You know? Its like God gave me these talents, so shouldn’t I use them? But that is SUCH an AMAZING this to strive for!!! Thanks!
December 22nd, 2006 at 8:15 am
WoW! What a great remminder of what God wants us to be like. I know I still need to work on a lot of things to be a women like that. Thank God he is faithful.
December 23rd, 2006 at 5:09 pm
Great list!
There is a very encouraging booklet on Modesty that I heartily recommend you read. It is entitled, “A Woman Professing Godliness” and can be found at http://crosspointsofconviction.com/books.htm .
“Guard thy heart with all dilligence for out if it spring the issues of life.”
Keep living for the Master!
January 9th, 2007 at 6:44 pm
What a wonderful list! There is one point that I disagree with, however. In the list you wrote, “(a real woman)…does not compete for equality with men or chafe at God’s design for male and female, but delights in and understands the importance of her calling to complement man’s role.” I looked up the included scripture references, and I think that you used them a bit out of context. In I Timothy, it says ” I do not permit a woman to teach or have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve.” The ‘I’ is Paul expressing his opinion. The scripture does not read, ‘Christ does not permit…” or something like that. Also, I don’t think it’s coincidental that woman was formed from the rib of Adam; his side. God wants woman to stand beside her husband, not behind them or beneath them. Secondly, Galations 3:28 reads “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Jesus Christ.” Although God equips each member of His family differently, not one of them are less than equal compared to another. Thank you for allowing me to express my opinion.
-Erika
January 17th, 2007 at 7:17 pm
This is great! As I am going into teenhood (12yrs old)I am aware of some of the things that I’ll have to face. And, to some degree, have had to already. But sadly I don’t know very many girls my age that have very much of an interest in learning to be a “real woman.” But I still have 7 more years in my teenhood so why waste them on obsessing over the ‘latest fashion’ or ‘the cutest boy’? There is so much more fulfilment in learning to be the woman God made me to be. Anyways thanks to all who made this list! And thanks to Alex and Brett for all the hard work they put into the Rebelution!
In Christ,
~Naomi Elizabeth
January 20th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Nabeth, there is a terrific book out there called Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale ( www.hopechestmagazine.com sells it the most inexpensively) that is a wonderful guide through the “teen” years. It was written 100 years ago and is one of my BEST friends (book-wise!). What a great guide it is.
You really might want to read it!
Blessings,
Melanie
January 21st, 2007 at 7:41 pm
Thanks Melanie, I have read that book but I should read it again. Books like that are great to revisit many times. Another of my favorites is Secret Keeper by Dana Gresh. I can’t tell you how many times I have gone to it and been encouraged, sometimes peer presher is so hard to fight against. But Dana Gresh reminds me that being modest in apearence and action is VERY important to help our brothers in Christ not to stumble (not to mention protecting ourselves!) Thanks again,
In Christ,
Naomi Elizabeth
January 24th, 2007 at 11:58 am
You all need to drag yourselves into the 21st century. This has got to be a joke, right? I cannot believe that the best you young women aspire to be is a subserviant, dinner cooking, baby making machine for Jesus. Please do yourselves a favor and try to broaden your lives by living them. Pray to god, own your body and mind, and for your own sake do not believe that the above list is the ideal to aspire to.
January 24th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
In response to “baffled by your stupidity”:
I’m saddened by your misunderstanding. You do not understand what God has called us as women, to do. I am saddened by your negative view of God’s designed role for women. It’s not that we’re to be “subservient” to men, but a helpmeet and an encouragement to our husbands, or fathers. Don’t forget, being a servant is not bad—Jesus Himself said that He came to serve, not to be served. We cannot find true joy unless we are serving God with our whole heart, doing what He has called us to do. We are not to be dinner cooking, baby making machines—we’re to raise up warriors for our King, and provide a godly environment in which to raise them. Please be sure to examine cautiously the calling of the world, which calls us out of the home, calls us away from our husbands, away from raising up strong godly warriors; which calls us to put our focus on ourselves, and to weaken the home and weaken the foundation of the family, which weakens the church. I myself am challenged by the list above, and I do believe that it is the ideal list to aspire to. I pray that God will make His call clear to the young women of the 21st century, and I’m praying for you too.
~Annie P.~
January 25th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
“Baffled by your stupidity” actually has a point — a crudely-worded, thoughtlessly-stated point, but a point at that. I think we would do well to ask ourselves if this view of women’s subservient role (and it is a subservient role, as gently as people try to portray it) is actually Biblical. There are conservative, evangelical Christian scholars who think it is not.
January 25th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
A real woman . . .
…does not compete for equality with men or chafe at God’s design for male and female, but delights in and understands the importance of her calling to complement man’s role. (1 Timothy 2:11-12, Ephesians 5:22-24)
I really don’t understand how any woman, religious or not, can allow this kind of sexism to be permitted. There is absolutely no evidence showing that men are more intelligent, more capable, or better than women. The Bible was written in times when men were thought to be all of these things. We know realize this is untrue, and thus should realize how outdated this TERRIBLE view on women is. You can be a REAL WOMAN without having to subject to being treated like a piece of property.
January 25th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Overall, this post appears to be well-considered and Biblical. However, two of your points failed to meet the criteria of the latter in my opinion.
1) “does not compete for equality with men or chafe at God’s design for male and female” I have never felt the need to compete for equality with men (nor do I chafe at our desigh) because God created me equal to men. The word equality is a word that measures value, and men and women are equal in value. After all, CHRIST PAID THE SAME PRICE TO REDEEM US ALL didn’t he? Our roles are different not our value.
2) “…is not boisterous or loud in her speech or actions but is characterized by a gentle and quiet spirit. (Proverbs 9:13, 1 Peter 3:4)”
THIS IS ANTI-BIBLICAL. The Hebrew word Halal is one of the most common words for praise used in the Old Testament (165 times, ex. Psalm 106:1) and it means to “be vigorously excited, boast loudly, rave, celebrate, to act like a madman.” Another word used for praise is Shabach (Psalm 63:2) which means to shout. These COMMANDS are never directed towards men, but are for all followers of the Lord. When Mary sang praises to God for the Life in her womb, it does not specify the decibel at which she sang them…for all we know she was praising Him at the top of her lungs in the middle of the street- and wouldn’t God have been glorified by that?
January 26th, 2007 at 11:42 am
Wow, this is a really great list. I hope my future wife has at least some of these qualities if not all.
January 28th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
If that’s what a “real woman” is . . . then what, pray tell, are those who do not fit this description? Are they “fake women” or “un-women?” The idea of “real women” and “real men” (vs. what???) is not biblical. It’s ingrained into our culture, I realize, but it’s simply not found in the Bible. A “real woman” is an adult with XX chromosomes. A “real man” is an adult with XY chromosomes. There is nothing else a person must accomplish to be “real.” There are, of course, a few people who are XXY or some other variation, and I don’t think God dislikes them, either, since it is God who created them thus.
It really is time for the Church to quit re-running “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” It’s a secular, pagan concept. Both sexes are from earth, made from the dust, and charged with the same requirement to do justice, love mercy and walk humbly before God.
There is only one Gospel. Christ died for us all. Christ came to atone for our sins, not to make us more masculine or more feminine. We need to take our eyes off the world, stop REACTING to the world, and start ACTING as Christians to reveal God’s Kingdom in the earth.
January 31st, 2007 at 12:35 pm
i totally agree with what Baffled by your stupidity said. I don’t agree on the role of women like that. what if God has other plans for those women..like take for example Florence Nightingale. Her mother wanted her to learn how to arrange flowers, clean house, and get married and have kids, but God had a better plan for her. She became a nurse ministering to both men and women who were wounded from the war and being a “Lady of Light” as the young soldiers called her. She defied culture and instead defined her own. That is a real women. Who rises above what legalists say and yet also finds a fine balance between legalism and lukewarmity. She defies her culture by choosing to speak with grace on her lips and she defines her own by doing what God tells her to do. I for one know certain women in my church who are not happy being at home, homeschooling kids, and cleaning house, but they beat themselves up about it thinking they have to be this perfect housewife. They are expected to multi-task and yet not lose their temper. They are being choked of what knowledge of learning they do have by doing meager tasks like housecleaning. they are depressed and what to get out of this theology that “women should be work-horses” and the men do nothing. maybe my opinion is too extreme but i hope that someone will read this and realize that it is wrong to expect women to hold to this. Godly women is not defined by what the church says. it is God’s will in your life. You are not sinning by not marrying. You are not sinning if you have a career and are married. Marriage focuses you on your Husband. Singleness focuses you on God. I also don’t agree with the statement that there is something wrong with a women if she is restless and can’t stay at home for long periods of time. what if the husband is lazy and just gives the wife all the work to do and the child-rearing alone. that would be unfair and wrong! So see there are many reasons to not set down your own standards and except others to hold to them. that’s just wrong.
February 7th, 2007 at 8:44 pm
First of all, I agree with the list above, but I have to understand where Amy and others are coming from. I used to wish that I was a boy so that I could do the things that boys do. I totally hated being a girl because I thought, like you all have expressed, that being a ‘good Christian girl’ meant getting married and manufacturing babies. But God has changed my perspective a lot. I’m not trying to convince you all to make that list your standard because somebody put it up there, but because there are lovely, beautiful attributes in it, like “values the cultivation of her mind and diligently seeks after wisdom and knowledge;” “uses her years of singleness to seek and serve God without distraction, and is content to leave the details of her future to Him.” These quotes are not saying, sit at home and wait for a man to show up. They are saying to go out and fulfill the glorious potential God has for you! If He gave you a mind, cultivate it. Look at the women of the Bible; Abigail was a wife and a mother, and one of the Godliest, most beautiful women in Scripture. Esther was strong, courageous, influential… and married. And some of the great men of history wouldn’t have been what they were without their wives behind them. Look at John Adams. His relationship with Abigail was not a master-slave; it was a man-helpmeet friendship. He needed his wife.
I think that we women need to remember two things about our creation: first of all, God did create us second. There is no getting around that. He puts it very clearly: wives, submit to your husbands. We can either embrace that, or we can rebel against it. But God did not create us to be completely submissive, automatic machines for men to boss around. He created us for our very own, special purpose. If everyone a man, ambitious and energetic, just imagine how chaotic the world would be! God knew that Adam needed someone to complete him. He created us because they need us. My guyfriends tell me all the time that if they have a huge emotional problem, they are more likely to spill their guts to a girl they just met than to a guy they’ve known for years. Why is that? It’s because we complete them. They are made to love and trust women. We women are the ‘crown of creation.’ Think about it. What is more beautiful that a graceful, feminine, gracious woman? I’m pretty much a feminist now, but I don’t use that word the way it is usually used. I think that we don’t appreciate our femininity enough, and we don’t revel in the contrast between us and our brothers in Christ. God created that contrast, because God is the God of completeness. Men are not complete; neither are women. God created us for each other, but He created us women last, when everything else was good, because one thing was just not good enough. Adam was lonely. And guys are still lonely, not for boxing matches and cold pizza, but for gentle, loving, listening, patient, uplifting, committed, deeply beautiful women.
February 10th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Annie C.:
Amen. Thank you for your comment! And yes, God did definately create us to be submissive, or second, yet God does not value men more than he values women. I too used to wish with all my might that I were a boy, and I still have a lot to learn! By God’s grace, I’ve come to where I am, and by His grace, I pray I’ll go a lot further!
~Annie P.~
P.S. Now I finally know about another Annie!
February 12th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
That list is beautiful and mostly very Biblical. Thank you to the authors for their perspectives! It gives me a lot to think about and aspire to. God bless the authors as well as all of my fellow “commentors” who desire to live up to these beautiful standards.
To those who commented about the “sexism” of this article, I think that you misunderstood. Men and women are equal, absolutely! God created them to be that way. BUT, men and women are also different. They have unique roles, and God’s design is that men and women follow those different roles.
The Bible is written by our Creator God, who designed men and women. It is not outdated or irrelevant, but perfectly true and pertinent to us today. The Bible values true womanhood and puts women in a more lovely and special position than any other religion or philosophy of our day and age.
By “Real Womanhood” and “Real Manhood”, I doubt very seriously that the authors of these articles are implying that imperfect men and woman are gender-challenged! After all, we are all imperfect! However, by “Real” I think the author is conveying that men and women are following God’s design for their lives are fulfilling their unique roles for Biblical manhood and womanhood. In this, they are “real” Biblical men and women. Is this true?
Now, women are not always followers, men leaders. Men are to lead in the home and the church. But there have been many excellent women in positions of earthly authority, such as Deborah and Esther. But this is beside the point. Jesus submits to God the Father (Philippians 2). Does that mean that Jesus is inferior to God? Our conceited Americanized culture often views submission as equal with inferiority and weakness. However, that is just not so. God glorifies the submission-authority design. I would encourage you to read the last couple chapters of Ephesians to understand God’s different designs for submission within the family and workplace.
Women aren’t to submit to every man they meet. Once again, look at Deborah and Esther. They are not to follow their fathers, husbands or pastors/elders in sin. Think of Abigail. But in those areas where God calls women to submit, we should do it joyfully, as unto the Lord. We are following Jesus’ example of humble submission, and that is a very priveledged, high calling.
I also enjoy sports, horseback riding, and outdoor activities. That’s not sinful or unfeminine. We should keep ourselves fit and active! God doesn’t want us to be couch potatoes who never see the light of day or something. But it is possible to do those things in a feminine way…not loud, rude, or obnoxious. One of the most feminine girls I know is an incredible soccer player, who played on her college team. But she values home and loves children. It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it. It’s an issue of the heart. Same with pants and dresses. You don’t have to look like a guy when you wear jeans. I wear jeans 99% of the time, but that doesn’t make me masculine! Legalism is not the answer. It’s a heart issue. I would encourage you to talk to God. Maybe you are struggling with a wrong kind of rebellion. Talk to God, and read His Word. Ask Him to help you value Biblical femininity. Without making you weak or deficient, a truly godly woman will have genunine strength of soul and character.
I’m sorry for the long post!! Thanks again for the challenging article.
God bless,
Keeli
February 12th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
“It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it”.
That’s so true, Keeli. (I don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t, I love riding horses, hacking blackberry vines, running, climbing trees, shooting guns…) It’s the heart that matters, and what’s in the heart will come out sooner or later.
A gentle and quiet spirit is precious in the sight of the Lord(I Peter).
February 14th, 2007 at 11:14 am
Thanks, Annie! I totally understand what you mean. Probably there are lots of girls like us out there, who are like, “I love the outdoors and being active…does that mean I’m not feminine?”
I think that being “ladylike” isn’t the end goal. Ultimately, we’re commanded to be Christ-like. Being feminine IS part of His plan for us, I believe. But you can be feminine sewing, and you can be feminine playing soccer with street kids as a missionary, right? I think our culture focuses too much on externals. That includes a lot of Christians. God still looks at the heart.
What’s a good definition of femininity? I think being a godly woman who desires to serve God. He may want her to serve Him as she serves her family. He may want her to serve Him as she works in a corporate office. As a missionary. A woman’s speaker. Sunday School teacher. Author. Government worker. But do it for Him and not for man. That’s being a true woman of God. When we’re sold out for Jesus, and we want to serve Him with everything.
March 10th, 2007 at 10:18 pm
Eric Liddle, the great runner from “Chariots of Fire” spoke of his God-given ability to run when he said,”God has made me fast, and when I run, I feel His pleasure.” Whatever true, honest, just, pure, lovely things in your life that you enjoy are a gift from God to be used to reveal His heart toward you. Simply put, He enjoys beholding us enjoy His goodness. I know a young lady who loves to run, fence, play piano, shoot hoops, play hockey, and draw with pencils. She is Godly, she is athletic, and she is lady. I enjoy seeing her revel in the things that God has gifted her to do. She is real woman!
March 11th, 2007 at 12:33 am
Married women are to be in subjection to their own husbands; just as Christians are to be in subjection to Christ. Our husbands are to love us just as Christ loves the church and died for her.
This is a Biblical mandate; therefore a wise young girl will choose well the husband of her future. A true Christian man will not mistreat her, he will appreciate her and the God-given qualities that she possesses. He will not lord over her and demand that she live this way or that way. In fact, he has no right to do so. Her subjection is something she gives to him; just as our subjection to Christ is something we choose to do for Him.
Christian women, wanting to please their Lord, will live lives like the woman in Proverbs whose value is far above rubies. If you read the story you will see that she isn’t sitting at home cleaning house and making babies. In fact, she is busy not only with maintaining her household in an excellent way, but she also is running her own business. She is an excellent example to everyone who observes her and her children and her husband are proud of her.
Christian women don’t need to yell to be heard unless there is a fire or someone needs help, or she is cheering at her child’s baseball game, or praising her Lord. But she is to be known for her quiet spirit. We are to be modest and that includes not drawing attention to ourselves in all aspects –our dress, our behavior, our speech, etc.
I love the protection and promises that my Lord gives me when I truly submit to His goals for me as his follower. I love the protection and love of my Christian husband. I never feel 2nd class because I am not. I do recognize that my husband does certain things better than me and he recognizes that I do certain things better than him. So our home has me taking on certain roles and him others. But together we are one, and we choose to submit to Christ in all aspects of our lives. Together we encourage each other to keep walking towards eternity on the road less traveled, and that has made all the difference.
Peace and joy to you, in Him.
March 16th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
Wow, you guys got flooded with feminists, didn’t you?
I think they don’t understand what you meant by “striving for equality.” Speaking from personal experience, I did strive for “equality” with my husband for a little while, unintentionally. I felt it was somehow necessary to make monetary contributions to the household. Yes, I’d already repudiated the notion that God intended me to work full-time for the rest of our life (deliberate change in pronoun), but right there at first, I felt terribly, horribly guilty for coming to the marriage with debt. So, of course, I wanted to pay “my share.” I was raised to do my fair share, after all.
That didn’t help our relationship. In fact, it made Mr. Bartlett himself feel horribly guilty because (1) he didn’t feel he was providing adequately, and (2) I apparently didn’t, either.
And as to that nonsense about “own your body and your mind”–propagandist tripe. It’s another way of saying “be selfish and isolate yourself from other people; give no consideration to anyone else’s wants or needs; count yourself as most important.” Very unchristian, yes?
Also, a person who works full-time cedes ownership of his body and mind to his employer for however long he’s on the clock; I can’t think of too many employers who would let you shoot heroin or watch movies while you’re supposed to be working. So, unless you’re hiding in a cave somewhere with no contact with other human beings, it’s impossible to have complete ownership of oneself (and I’m not even approaching the question of God’s ownership of EVERYTHING).
(The problem with full-time or even part-time jobs is that you don’t get to “expand your mind” or “live your life,” either. You’re too busy working, catching up on housework, helping the kids with homework, trying to get everyone to bed, and sleeping to sit down with a good book or go somewhere, unless you deliberately shirk a responsibility or go on a rare vacation.)
In closing, women in our Biblical role are freer even than men in theirs! You guys have to labor by the sweat of your brows (or similar intellectual exertions); we ladies get to stay home and play with the kids and make whatever we want for lunch. I wouldn’t say that’s very fair, but I guess God’s not a believer in this “feminism” thing, either.
I’ll see y’all ’round.
March 16th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
to “a sister”: the idea of a woman having a meek and quiet spirit, as opposed to being loud and boistrous, has nothing to do with her praising and worshipping her Creator! our worship of our Savior and God should be loud and unashamed. we should be able to dance and jump and shout in praise of Him! what i think that the Proverbs verse means is that we as women should not be unduly boistrous and loud in a manner intended to draw attention to ourselves, to flaunt ourselves, to be flirtatious and openly looking for attention (and cmon ladies, we all know when a girl/woman is doing this!) theres a significant difference between a woman being loud and outspoken in her worship of God, or in simply having a good time with friends, family, or whoever, and a woman being raucous and excessively boistrous in a manner intended to draw attention and put herself on display.
March 23rd, 2007 at 11:05 am
“I myself have never been able to figure out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.” - Rebecca West in The Clarion, 1913
If a woman is as you are defining, I’ll gladly be a feminist instead.
Please, think for yourselves people. Read another book besides the Bible. Educate yourselves!
March 25th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
The ideas about women expressed on this site are wrong, immoral, unethical, and damaging to womenm and girls. Those who espouse that females are subservient to males have blood on their hands.
You are living people and as such you are not merely playing roles in life that have pre-determined behaviors.
Seek truth and wake up.
March 26th, 2007 at 6:42 am
Makes me grateful I don’t buy into the whole bible crap!
March 28th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Wow! I didn’t realize this was such a hot button issue! Maybe we should remind ourselves that it is still a free country. Women can get married or stay single or work or stay at home or do whatever else their self-important little selves want, but they will suffer the consequences. Currently I am single and am working full time trying to pay for college bills. Every morning when I go to work, I don’t think “Wow! I am so thankful for the feminists that made this possible”. I am not complaining, because I realize this is God’s will for me right now, but I am not against women staying in the home either. I believe that all women should prepare themselves for the possibility of single service for the Lord, but we would be trying to disregard creation if we are trying to “equalize” everything. The fact is that God made women with less mucle mass proportionately, less red blood cells(not as much oxygen being utilized for hard labor), more white blood cells(to protect them and their unborn children from more infections), and bodies not only for men’s pleasure but also to care for children. Women are more emotional than men, and although this is sometimes considered a strength, it can also be considered a weakness. It doesn’t mean that we are inferior in any way. Being more emotional gives a woman the ability to relate more easily to her husband, her children and other women better than he himself could. But I believe it is clear from Scripture that a woman is not supposed to lead, and it may be for the very reason that we are more emotional. Our God is a God of order, and He designed a plan in which someone would be in charge(the man), someone would assist the man in charge(the woman), and together they can produce and raise children in a stable environment. We women need to realize that we cannot have our cake and eat it too. If you want to be Miss Independence and open all your own doors and work hard all day and then come home to a cold apartment that you share with your cat and proceed to make your own supper and then you realize that you are completely out of food so you have to go and buy some for yourself at the grocery store and then in the parking lot you get mobbed because you are by yourself, then by all means go knock yourself out. I am not saying that it is wrong for a woman to have a car, or a driver’s license, or a job, or an education. But if you are seeking for self fulfillment in these things and are not willing to be submissive, and then turn around and wonder why you are not happy, it is probably because you are working against your own created nature. I intend to pursue God’s will for my life, and if he calls me to marry someone, I will do my utmost to make sure that he is “known in the gates”, or whatever that passage says. In the beginning, God made it clear that the woman was to be man’s helpmeet. And honestly, they do need our help sometimes!;) Behind every great man is a great woman, and I intend to be that kind of woman. Very good post..and to fellow anti-feminazis, press on!
March 30th, 2007 at 6:05 am
“If you want to be Miss Independence and open all your own doors and work hard all day and then come home to a cold apartment that you share with your cat and proceed to make your own supper and then you realize that you are completely out of food so you have to go and buy some for yourself at the grocery store and then in the parking lot you get mobbed because you are by yourself, then by all means go knock yourself out.”
Seriously? You think every woman who has a job also has no one in her life, has a cat, and is mugged when she shops? Seriously? My goodness, you are truly deluded.
Fulfillment and happiness are where you find them. If your happiness relies on a man to take care of you, that is your path. Lots of us are happy in and of ourselves, and then SHARE that with the men (or women) in our lives.
Experience the world first - then tell others what you’ve learned.
Women can and do lead, don’t have to be doormats or shadow people. You can CHOOSE that, but no divine plan ordains inequality.
April 1st, 2007 at 11:43 am
Pay Pay, I applaud you. “proud to be a feminist”, I don’t think that Pay Pay was saying that EVERY woman that lives alone and works outside of the home is going to get mugged. Look at her, she is currently single and works hard outside of her home. She seems pretty happy. I think that she is just saying that it isn’t God’s express purpose for creating woman. But her heart is in the place that, if it is God’s will for her to get married, she will not try to defy the laws of nature and try to be equal to him in his roll as the husband and man of the family.
“Women…..don’t have to be doormats or shadow people” This seems to be the argument for lots of people. Another one is,”You guys need to wake up and live in the world.” I don’t think that is the issue. We do live in the world. Infact I think that we realize, (more than others) that it is hard to live in this world. And because of that if we would just stop trying to be like men or equal to them, but who God made us (women), it would be much easier.
PLEASE, read Proverbs 31:10-31. If you look at this lady carefully you will see that she isn’t by any means a doormat. Do “doormats” consider fields and by them? Do they set about there work vigorously and are there arms strong for there tasks? But take note, she does ALL of this for her family. It isn’t so that she can be known as a tough business woman etc. Her family (household) is the number one priority in her life. And from that comes all the hard work.
She is the role model for us in the Bible. And who would know better than the author of the Bible. Women are always saying “I can’t understand men” and vies versa. But God made us both, he is neither man nor woman, He is God. So who would know better?
In Genesis it says “He created them, male and female He created them.” And as far as I can see that identifies them as being different. Why try so hard to be the same or “equal” when it is so much easier to just be who God made us to be? And yes, there will continue to be men in this world so that women can be women.
April 5th, 2007 at 8:19 am
wow! This is crazy! Harris’, thank you very much for the reminder. To many of the other people who have commented, my personal interpretation of many of these verses is not that we can’t be active, healthy people! Rather, it seems to me that they encourage it! Whether physically, or mentally active, to be a good godly woman, we NEED to think, we need to be active! Does that mean that we have to go try to be like men, and be just as strong, and work just as hard, and make tons of decisions, no! I don’t think that when we try, we do a very good job anyway!
Can we still work outside, do chores, help with work, I think so! Can we study extra school, come up with our own conclusions, of course! And I believe there is a definite need for godly man and woman roles!!! But that doesn’t mean that we all have to be the exact same in the woman role, and all men have to be the same in there man role! I think God made everyone unique, and that we should, in our feminine way,:) embrace that unique gift that God gave us to be “helpmeets” which can take a lot of strength in its own way too!
April 5th, 2007 at 8:23 am
haha I just realized that I said almost the exact same thing as Nabeth! haha sorry, just a little repeat there.:D
April 9th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
The opinions expressed here are very degrading to women and girls and to the women who think otherwise you should try to stop deluding yourselves.
April 13th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
I think this is a good list for women who are striving to be women of God. I know several people disagree and believe this list is obsolete. We have to remember that no matter how godly a person is they are not God and He will ultimatley call us to be one person or another. Some women might be called to be a preacher’s wife. Some might be called to be politicians or principles. I know that our youth pastor’s wives are increadibly strong women of God, they stay at home and take care of little children. Then I know other strong godly women who are more independant and have a career in mind that they are gonna use to glorify God. As women are called not to be like men, men are also called to not be like women. God calls us each to be someone differnt than the person before. It’s up to us to find out what he wants in our lives. Through the reading of the Bible, prayer, and godly council.
April 26th, 2007 at 6:16 am
i fully agree with the list. That is my idea of what a Godly woman/girl should be like.
We need more people that think that way in our world. Thanks so much!!!!
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:00 am
Great discussion about what ‘real’ womanhood is all about. It’s interesting when unperfect people try and espouse what normallcy is all about. When fallen, sinful humans look at each other as the standard, we’re bound to come up short.
Until we begin only getting our sense of normallcy from the only human that has ever been ‘normal’, we’re always going to find ourselves arguing over our opinions and personal tastes.
The Lord has left for us an ideal picture of biblical womanhood in His word. It is His word that we must find ourselves standing on whenever we enter into the arena of debate.
I feel for the self-proclaiming ‘feminists’ who’ve entered into the discussion with no moral compass or eternal values that transcend the human heart. What is truth to them? Moral or immoral? Normal or abnormal? These questions are all answered in the person of Jesus Christ.
May the dialogue continue to the glory of the Lord Jesus!
For some really excellent articles on Godly Womanhood go to: www.proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com
May 3rd, 2007 at 6:20 pm
i totally agree with the list… and I know for a fact that it does work…. a lot of people say we that we can’t be perfect but what does Matt 5:48 say?? well it takes a lot of getting down on our knees daily… overall this list is great it is one that us ladies should strive to be
May 9th, 2007 at 8:44 am
As a matter of fact, I just found this website today. One of my friends emailed me the site and I came right on it after I read her email!! It has been a wonderful experience in the 10 minutes I have been browsing through this site. (A hearty “thank-you” to Brett and Alex!)
First of all, like many other people have mentioned, I am going to print this out and carry it with me everywhere! I have read Josh Harris’ book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”, but this will be a condensed version to carry around in my purse!
In a world that is just going nowhere but down it’s soOOOOO encouraging to know that THERE ARE young people just like me who have enough “guts” to stand up and fight the giants!! Though I may not know any of you, it is still wonderful that I have many companions striving to be men and women after God’s own heart. And those that believe that Biblical womanhood is nothing but trash, well, we’ll see who’s right in the end. But I’ll be praying for you anyhow!
May 10th, 2007 at 6:11 am
WOW! I know I have a lot more to learn, through God’s grace, I can become a true REAL godly woman.
June 1st, 2007 at 11:01 am
It is interesting to read all these comments, but it is somewhat disheartening to hear all this stuff about feminism and whether or not girls should were dresses or whatever. Frankly I don’t think that what you wear is really that important and I think that modesty is not defined by whether you wear a skirt or not, modesty is an attitude. (Not that I’m encouraging people to dress indecently.) Seriously in the grand scheme of things
I believe that men and women are equal, but I also believe that in marriage that men are meant to lead. I am not saying that this makes a women’s role less than a man’s it is simply different.
The list is pretty good… I think that a ‘real’ women is someone who follows God with all her heart, mind, body, strength… you get the idea. She is someone who passionately pursues God and desires to please Him in everything she does. She is someone who goes after righteousness. That woman is truly exceptional.
As a lily among thorns, is my darling among the maidens…
June 19th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
I really loved this, thannk you so much for providing such an accurate, wonderful list of qualities us young ladies should be working to obtain!
June 19th, 2007 at 9:20 pm
I just found this, a little late
but… I’m replying anyway, just in case!
This is a really wonderful list! I have a few things to work on too…. actually, I think we should keep working on all of these points even if we think we’re doing pretty well… after all, we aren’t perfect yet! This is definitely the kind of list I hope my future husband will have for me. Although some of the verses may be a bit misquoted, these are all Biblical principals of what a woman should be.
I particularly need to work on the cultivation of my mind and letting the Holy Spirit control my emotions- and *refraining from* being nagging and manipulative(I have problems getting my little brothers to do their chores sometimes)- and on and on…h’m I have a lot of catching up to do! But who wants to be perfect anyway? I mean, I hope I’ll be perfect in Heaven, but I prefer to have a few failings for now. (though I’m sure I don’t need to worry on that account!)
Proud to be a Feminist, we ARE thinking for ourselves, if you don’t mind my saying so; it’s those who don’t think and get carried along in the flow with the rest of the sinful world whose lives- temporal and eternal- are destroyed. I love to read and have read hundreds if not thousands of books that aren’t in the Bible, and I’m only sixteen. I also read the Bible regularly (though not as much as I should *blush*), for
“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.”. I also plan on thoroughly educating myself(WITHOUT going to college) but I will not believe anything contrary to Scripture. I intend to be everything on this list to the best of my ability with God’s help, for the rest of my life, and ENJOY it. Also, “fulfillment and happiness” can only truly be found by following God’s will for your life; without him, all meaning is empty. Also, we are meant to learn from the mistakes of others so that we don’t HAVE to go out and experience the wickedness of the world for ourselves. I prefer to stay safely at home where focus is where it should be and priorities are fundamentally right. You are right that “no divine plan ordains inequality”. God does not call us to be unequal! However we ARE different from men and therefore our roles are different. We must accept that to be able to use our abilities for the best. Women ARE NOT placed in authority over men. The example in the Bible of Deborah is irrelevant because the only reason she had any power over them was as a judgment for their wickedness and she had to go to battle with them because they weren’t brave enough otherwise(lol). How would you like that??? Subordination does not mean inequality. In fact it shows a great deal of willpower to voluntarily submit to another’s will, as Jesus did.
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” (I Corinthians 11:3)
Benjy, we are not saying that women are subservient to men. Those who say so are misunderstanding our descriptions. The things we are saying come straight from the Bible, which if considered closely will always be found to be the most moral and ethical book in history. If you would realize that women living by these standards are not “damaged” but releasing their full capacities in what they were created to do- may I challenge you to seek TRUTH (in the Bible) yourself and wake up to the glorious possibilities? Those who walk in the false light of deceit spread by the feminists are blinded to truth; “And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.”(Matthew 15:14)
Glad to be an Atheist!, please, if you don’t agree with our most basic doctrines, you can’t understand that God’s word is more precious than life to us and therefore I would beg of you not to use slang and swear words regarding our wonderful Bible- ever read it? You should! It’s amazing!- at least on this website where we expect to find safe language. Thank you!
And yes, I aspire sometime to be like the woman in Proverbs 31… down to the very last child! well, it doesn’t really say how many she had but… I’d guess 6-18?
June 21st, 2007 at 12:35 pm
“I feel for the self-proclaiming ‘feminists’ who’ve entered into the discussion with no moral compass or eternal values that transcend the human heart.”
Feminism is the belief that women are equal. Feminism does not proclude morality.
As for your “wonderful Bible” it is a book folks. Get out and find truth for yourself. If it leads you back to this book, there you go. If it leads you out into a wider, more complicated, less sheltered, patriarchal world, all the better.
Your comments prove the point that your ideal woman is a brainwashed, subservient, lesser creature. Enjoy.
June 29th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
OK, this is amazing. I read the first couple, and thought, how can I ever live up to even this? I mean, I am proud to be feminine, but I have a friend whose Dad was born to irritate me. When we’re playing touch football, and I don’t catch the ball once, he says “It’s not your fault God made you malformed, it’s not your fault you’re a girl”. That makes me get really mad, and I’m telling you, I have to bite my toungue, because when it comes to subjects I feel real stong on, I’m a born debater. And I’m often tempted to throw an insult or two, more than likely something as stupid as “God made man first, but then he had a better idea” of course then he’d add something equally stupid like “No, he just didn’t want someone telling him what to do”. I really can get downright spitful. But I’m totally anti-feminist!! And what about not being loud ? you hit me hard there, I am naturally such a bubbly, laughing, sometimes boisterious person! But how would I change that? -Gracie, Black Diamond
June 30th, 2007 at 11:31 am
Gratzi: The things your friend’s father says are wrong. Even if he’s teasing it’s entirely insensitive. I applaud you for biting your tongue and not arguing back. You need to know that he’s wrong but still respect him as being your elder.
Also, being bubbly and laughing is not wrong at all. Being loud and boisterous (whether you are male or female) often reflects a lack a consideration for those around you. One method that we have found helpful for eliminating certain behaviors (e.g. vocal pauses such as “um” or “like”) is to when we’re at home have our family “buzz” us (or even fine us $0.25!) when we use those words so we become aware of how often we do it. Once you become aware of when and how often you do something it’s much easier to cut back or eliminate.
July 1st, 2007 at 1:20 pm
Gratzi
This man will never know that what he’s saying is wrong unless someone points it out. It is neither rude nor disrespectful to say something. Being an ‘elder’ does not constitute being a better. You don’t need to shout at him to make the point: a mere ‘that is totally disrespectful’ would suffice. And if anyone tells you that’s unchristian: well, it just shows why I’m not one.
And what on earth is wrong with saying ‘um’? It’s considerably less irritating that the act of pointing out that someone’s saying ‘um’!
July 3rd, 2007 at 10:33 pm
Wake up!
THERE WAS NO EVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 6th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
Comparing the comments on the ‘Real Woman’ page with those on the the ‘Real Man’ page, I was not surprised but much annoyed at the difference in tone. Why is it so great a firecracker to call women to higher and greater things, and easy to set a high standard for men?
As a lady who abhors feminism and pities her Brothers who are continuously belittled by it, I take issue with this disparity… to me, it sounds as if the message of some of the commentators is this “Women are perfect and superior, and how do you dare to imagine otherwise? but men… well, you know, the poor things need all the help and bossing they can get.”
Is this the attitude of the angry persons? Or is it worse yet- do they simply refuse to notice than manhood exists? Brothers- there are ladies who value your Christian manhood as much as the feminists despise it. Take courage!
July 7th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
My first reaction to this was anger. I’m a girl. I don’t need a guy to do ANYTHING for me. I would be perfectly fine by myself. I’m not saying that I abhor the idea of marriage, and everyone needs a little help every once and awhile. I’m also not a diehard femminist. I beleive that there ARE things that a man may do better at than a woman. BUT a woman does not need to be under the direction of a man. A single hardworking woman could make her way just as easily as a man. And she could do it in a way that would be in accordance with her values and with Christ.
“I am not saying that it is wrong for a woman to have a car, or a driver’s license, or a job, or an education. But if you are seeking for self fulfillment in these things and are not willing to be submissive, and then turn around and wonder why you are not happy, it is probably because you are working against your own created nature. I intend to pursue God’s will for my life, and if he calls me to marry someone, I will do my utmost to make sure that he is “known in the gates”, or whatever that passage says. In the beginning, God made it clear that the woman was to be man’s helpmeet. And honestly, they do need our help sometimes!;) Behind every great man is a great woman, and I intend to be that kind of woman. Very good post..and to fellow anti-feminazis, press on!” ~Pay Pay
I agree with what you/she are/is saying, I really do. But I can’t bring myself to think that I was created to stand behind a man with my children and help him reach his goals in life. I have independent goals that can be reached with or without a husband. Children, a husband, and the life you have described can be part of my life, or anyones life–it just doesn’t have to come first and foremost.
July 12th, 2007 at 8:40 pm
If you believe in the Bible, this is for you–so that you can learn to live out what you believe. If you don’t believe in the Bible, then why are you arguing?? This post was obviously written for girls that are honestly trying to walk out what God commands us to do. And I think we could be having some much better conversations over this subject than going around and around in circles about why or why not we should be our own independant little selves; stuck in our own bubble and unwilling to serve those we were given to serve…I’m sorry I sound so harsh, but that is honestly the way it is sounding.
July 22nd, 2007 at 1:42 pm
WOW! that is so awesome and little do i know once i started reading this i realized how much of the things i do that i shouldnt be doing! i have so much to work on! i didnt realized how much of an expectation Christian guys had for girls! thank you so much!
July 28th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
A real woman should not strive to equality with men? God made men and women equal, though they have differant roles in the world. And yes, a woman is made differantly emotionally and physically then men, but God’s design for woman is not to always be wearing dresses or sitting around sewing. And when you say, a woman should not be foward with men, may I remind you of Ruth and Naomi? Maybe you should do somemore research before giving a narrow minded definition of women
August 7th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
I am wondering why all the pic on here are of white women? One of the ways that Satan has moved to tear apart Gods women is to make women who are of Dark-Skinned ethnicity to feel like we can’t be “PURE” somehow as I was growing up a “fair lady” always meant WHITE, BLUE EYES, LONG BLONDE HAIR”. Well, I have been going to blogs and sites on this subject for a while now and i must say how the implicit racism and classism goes unnoticed. Do you think that only girls who look like Rupunzel, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty are going to heaven? What only skin as “white as snow” is consiered more feminine than olive tomes, all the way up to black as the night sky?
The reason why we have this problem is not because of feminism, but becuase false associations were made regarding femininity.
I am a real woman. But I fear that I may be the only person that ever belives so. =(
August 8th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
Dawn: As your sister in Christ, I need to point out that Alex and Brett have no intention of belittling you as a woman because of your ethnicity. Although I am far from blue eyed blonde hair (I am brown eyed dark brown hair), I do not think that the authors are in any way saying that one has to look like a fairy tale princess to be a daughter of the King. A ‘real’ woman is a woman who strives with her whole heart to serve the Lord, and does her best to bring glory to Him. A real woman is not determined by her outer appearance. She is determined by her heart and actions.
To “Benjy”– I feel it is vitally important to set you straight on several issues: In what possible way can having high standards for a child of God be [and I quote] “wrong, immoral, unethical, and damaging?” It is apparent to me that these high standards I have read can be just the thing to start a revival revolution in this entire generation of teenagers! So, remind me, how can challenging a godly teenager to do what is beautiful in God’s sight be in any way immoral, unethical, damaging, or wrong? Also, I am afraid you have taken the “sunservient” idea out of context. It is not that women are supposed to be subservient to men, but rather we are to seek to serve others as Jesus served others.
“And There is no Santa Clause either”- You are completely wrong about some assumptions you have deduced from your reading of this article. these “brainwashed” women you have spoken of are nonexistent. And in their place are women of God. Women who are servants as Christ was a servant. Women who love the Lord with their whole hearts. enjoy.
“Steve”– Thank you so much brother! As your sister in the Lord, it is great to know there are guys are out there who are striving to serve God with their whole hearts, and who care enough to think about the things of the Lord. I am praying for you, brother.
~ Kirsten A. Gruber
August 9th, 2007 at 5:26 am
What a grat list to compare myself to! I will definitley be working on a gentle and quiet spirit. Well, awsome post! ‘’
u
August 12th, 2007 at 3:59 am
This list is beautiful! Certainly some things to strive for as a young woman.
I have to join in the discussion and give my two cents: I think that many people have misinterpreted:
…does not compete for equality with men or chafe at God’s design for male and female, but delights in and understands the importance of her calling to complement man’s role. (1 Timothy 2:11-12, Ephesians 5:22-24)
Women are definitely equal human beings to men!! Both men and women are made in the image and likeness of God, and as created human beings, we are completely equal. But when it comes to the intrinsic ROLES of men and women, they aren’t equal. They are two different genders, so how can they be completely equal?
Here’s an analogy: you have an apple and an orange, which are both fruits. Both are as perfect as they can get, so they are equals AS FRUITS. However, they are DIFFERENT KINDS of fruits: one is an apple, the other is an orange. They can NEVER be equal in this way…it’s impossible for an apple to be the same as an orange. If it were, it wouldn’t be an apple!!
It is the same with men and women. Men are not “better than” women, and vice versa; we are both human beings created by God. However, a man can never be a woman, and vice versa. Women should not try to be men, because then we are denying the feminine gifts that God gave us. We should rejoice in our differences, we should celebrate and thank God for our feminine qualities. Sure, I think that women can be just as successful as men in the business world, if that’s what they’re called to do; they can make just as much money, they can be just as smart, etc., but we should still remember that we are ladies and we need to act like it. As a college student who is hoping to have a career in arts management and music (if I don’t get married and have kids first, that is!), I will be competing with men for jobs, I will be working with men, and there is a chance that I might have a superior position over men. But that doesn’t mean that I am the same as a man; I only have the same position as a man. It also doesn’t mean that I am subservient to them, but it means that I treat them like brothers in Christ; I dress and act modestly; I don’t abuse my business position by acting arrogantly superior; I still serve them as my neighbor; I see Jesus in each one of them, and treat them as I would treat Him: with respect and Christian love.
It’s all in our attitude. It’s not a sin to be a successful businesswoman. What IS sinful is to abuse whatever gifts or powers we have been given, or to use our gifts for the wrong ends or reasons, or to neglect our children if we’re married. I believe that a woman’s first priority should be her family and children, but if she doesn’t have that, then by all means, go to college and have a career and see the world and use your singleness to glorify the Lord! I think a single woman should be busy and accomplishing things that she wouldn’t be able to do when married. That’s definitely what I’m doing! However, when I meet that special man and have children, my career time will be over and it’ll be time to start the career I’ve always wanted: being a mother.
This subject is so deep…we could go on discussing it for years. But I think some essential things for girls to remember are this: I am a lady, and I should dress, talk, and act like one, no matter what situation I’m in; the man is the head of the household, but that does not mean I am his slave; I need to treat every guy as a brother in Christ.
August 16th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
To “not be boistrous or loud in our speech” does not mean to be a “doormat” but rather to express your opinions in a way that people will listen to them.Most people will turn off if you start yelling what you think in their faces.However,if you merely state your opinion and the thoughts behind it you will probably get them to listen, at the very least,and agree at the very most.
August 20th, 2007 at 5:01 pm
Wow…controverisial(sp sorry) subject!
In repsonse to Lori (she was of the opinion girls should stick with skirts becuase pants are guys clothes, and yes I know that was a while ago), pants may have been guys clothing, but only in certain cultures. In every picture you ever see of men in Jesus’s time, and of Jesus himself, they wore these dress like outifts (to me it looks like really long t-shirts with scarves tied in the middle) and that was considered acceptable guy clothing. Today, that is considered women’s clothing. I think that it depends on the culture you live in as to what cross-dressing is…I don’t beleive it ever says in the Bible that girls have to wear tubes on their lower halfs, and guys have to wear a tube on each leg that connect up at the waist. Just a thought…
Also, if we are supposed to be very feminine, and un-man like, doesn’t that kinda contradict the Bible telling us to be like Jesus/God? Jesus was a guy after all…(feel free to chew this idea up and spit it back out, it’s just a random thought I had.)
Thankies for reading!
August 23rd, 2007 at 7:58 pm
This is awesome. I know I have a ways to go. Thanks for putting the verses next to it! When we are commanded to walk differently than the world, its always put to the extreme. This is not that hard to strive for! I’ll keep this in mind for years to come!
August 24th, 2007 at 6:46 am
Realy these are the true views and also as i found in my opinion that the women are human beings, and constitute half of the human population on the earth. They have been treated as weaker sex in all societies of the world. They are discriminated, maltreated and oppressed everywhere. Amidst the plenty of literature on women studies this work is unique which imparts valuable information extracted from various authoritative sources
The word ‘woman’ is a symbol of eternal mystery and enchantment, as if it is not enough that she is flesh and blood, but that she must be something higher than what she is. Woman, it seems, was created to make the world more beautiful and man more ardent in his appreciation of beauty. This mythical idea found expression in the poet’s memorable lines:
Not God alone has created you O maiden,
Man has completed your being by giving you
Beauty and grace (of his hearts’ desire).
And that description of man’s creation of woman culminates in the statement:
Your femininity, is half your womanhood,
Half is the imagination of men.
What she: A woman’s home is still her life and soul. She makes her home beautiful, bears all responsibilities of her family and meets the demands of social life, balancing her own workload all the time with domestic duties. She is also the mother of her child. With all this work the woman carries on her struggle for emancipation, for nothing is ever attained without a struggle.
Janani hai, maon bhi hai, palan har bhi vo hai, mamta ki chhaon bhi vo hai. Aanchal jaisi pyar ki gode bhi usake pas hai. Dard ki dava bhi vo hai, muskilon ka sathi bhi vo hai. Rakshak vo hai, shikshak vo hai, Jeevan ka aadhar bhi vo hai. Some one wrote about her life and her presence in these words: There comes a time in every woman’s life when she has to take a close look at herself. Not at her circumstance, not at what she did, not how unfair life is, or not at whom made you do it. She has to just look at herself in all her glory and imperfection. Have you ever admired a woman who has been through changes in her life? The answer could be in our minds never, we never mind it. A woman who has endured the most unusual life is someone of wisdom, someone who has been chosen by God to go through things that have made her stronger. That woman could be my mother, sister, aunt, in-law, stepmother, niece, grandmother, great-grandmother, neighbor, friend, or co-worker, etc. That woman could be me. Women are the carriers of life, not the channels of death. Let’s build and encourage each other. Pass this to all the women in your life. Encourage and Love, Forgive and Forget, and trust that the woman that receives this will be touched in some way. Further, I will say about her nature in these Hindi lines-
Krodh ki jawala vo hai, khushi ka aanand bhi vo.
Sagar se gode bhi vo hai, aakash ki chhaya bhi vo hai.
Shakti ka Bandhan bhi vo hai, kamjori ka karan bhi.
Prem ki pyasi bhi vo hai, yauvan ki udasi bhi vo,
Bhooke ki roti vo hai, pyase ka pani bhi vo.
Ran main vo , kaushal main vo, chhal ki maharathi bhi vo hai,
Yuddha kshetra main vijay ore har ka karan bhi vo hai.
Bhavukata ki jar bhi vo hai, trapti ka sadhan bhi vo,
Fashion ki deevani vo hai, lajja ka aakarshan bhi vo.
Jal main vo hai, thal main vo hai,
Gagan main bhi fahraye jhanda vo hai.
Pani jaise shitalta usamain, again ka tap bhi vo,
Badalon ki chhata bhi vo hai, varsha ki booden bhi vo hai.
Garibi bhi vo hai, ameri bhi vo hai, har mushivat ka dherya bhi vo hai.
Sunderta ki apsara vo hai, sapno ki rani bhi vo,
Vipadaon ka pahar bhi vo hai jeevan ka aadhar bhi vo.
Aurat hai, Bhavuk hai, sunder hai, kamjore hai eslia vo lachar hai. Kintu in sabke vabjood vo taran ore palan har hai. Vo nahin hai to kuchh bhi nahin hai. Shanti bhi vo hai, uttejana bhi vo, udasi bhi vo hai, prasnnata ki abhilasha bhi vo hai. Jahan dekhu vahan tu hi tu hai fir bhi tu kahti hai main kamjore hun. Shayad ye teri mansikta hai. Tu kamjore nahin hai kyon ki to paramarshdatri hai, disha nirdeshak hai, to shikshak hai to vo hai jo koi nahin hai. Thanks to all.Nsingh .
August 29th, 2007 at 11:39 am
I have a Q. May I know the author of the picture called ‘’Girl with Lamb'’ on this blog and the page where you found it? It’s important for personal reasons and I would be incredibly thankful if you could give me this info. Thank you in advance,
August 30th, 2007 at 9:26 am
I don’t have the time to read all the above posts, so forgive me if I echo, and reecho, other peoples words.
As much as this is a list for girls to shape their lives after, it is also a list for us young men, and men, to find our future wives by. For I don’t believe God is going to place your wife in front of you and you are going to know -as if hit by a sledge hammer- that this is the women that you will spend the rest of your life with. However, we have to be constantly looking for not only the women that completes us -Genesis 2:18- but for one that has qualities as stated above. May I warn that this doesn’t have to be done by dating, nor even courting, one of these days you will meet the women who completes you, yet if you aren’t aware, praying, and waiting, you might just pass her up, and marry somebody else. I don’t really have the time to go in depth on this topic so if you wish to read more, watch my blog, I might post something in the next week or so.
September 3rd, 2007 at 9:01 pm
A Girl Called Reggi D:
You’re right that culture determines what is men’s clothing and what is women’s clothing… and in our culture, Pants means man, Dress means woman. If your vision was temporarily blocked and, at first, all you could see of someone was her skirt, you wouldn’t wonder:”is this person a man or a woman?”, nor would you automatically think ’twas a man. You would naturally consider the person to be a woman. Only recently have women started wearing pants, and it gets very confusing BUT if I want everyone to know I’m a girl(and I do), I will wear a dress. And so, I hope, will every other girl who”…is glad she’s a woman and rejoices in her femininity, expressing it through her attitude, appearance and bearing.” That, by the way, would go under “appearance”.
And you also said:…”if we are supposed to be very feminine, and un-man like, doesn’t that kinda contradict the Bible telling us to be like Jesus/God?”
No, it doesn’t. The Bible never contradicts itself. We should strive to be Christlike in character, but we’re not supposed to LOOK like He did- after all, we don’t even know what He looked like- and we certainly don’t need to dress like Him. And it’s the character that counts, not the behavior under different circumstances- for instance, every man is not called to act as though he had ultimate authority over the Earth as Jesus had. But if that man’s character is Christlike, he would behave in the same way under the circumstances. We are not men, but if we were I hope we would act like it. I’m not sure I said that very well-did anyone understand me?
And, by the way, you spelled “controversial” right except for an extra “i”.(controverisial)
September 14th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Some of this stuff is just what i hear from my brothers and Dad. And i have to admit i have a little ways to go.
September 16th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
“Tabitha”: Please know that when I say this, I mean it with complete respect. In no way do I mean to criticize your opinion, because I respect the fact that you are taking a stand; and that is something for which I commend you.
However, I do need to point out that your basic premise is slightly incorrect. While it is correct that in our culture in this period of time, only women wear skirts, it is not correct to state that it is only acceptable for men to wear pants. Skirts have not been the exclusive apparel for women in the western world since the 1930’s, and that is a fair piece of time. Also, some modern cultures deem it acceptible for men to wear skirts (e.g Scotland, Africa, Arab countries, and India). That does not mean that the men are unacceptibly dressed; in that culture (in that specific period in time) that is acceptable, and by the Bible’s standards, that is modest. (Reggi D was correct when she described how Jesus probably would have dressed.)
The basis of what women should wear should be based on modesty, not culture’s definition of what to wear. If a girl were to wear a mini skirt, and another girl were to wear a pair of pants, which would be more modest? Obviously the girl who is wearing the pants. But the other girl is still wearing a skirt. So does that make her more modest than the girl wearing the pants? No. Of course not. We should strive for modesty, not whether clothing fits into categories set by our culture’s atandards.
And once again, in no way do I wish to be contentious. I respect your opinions Tabitha, and I do not intend what I said to be a jab at your beliefs.
To the authors of this article: Great Job!!! You all are doing a wonderful job and I thank you so much! God be with you!
~Kirsten A. Gruber
September 20th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
To Kirsten
Modesty is partialy based on culture. The definition of modesty is an unwillingness to draw attention to yourself. If one went to the middle east they would need to dress diferently then they do in the States but does that mean that they were not modest before. There is a base line that god expects us to upholed, but it is never a sin to go beyond. In most western cultures if a person is wearing a skirt they are asumed to be a women and not a man. I am not critisizing(sp?) anyone who wears pants: I wear pants when it is more modest then wearing a skirt, like when I play my cello or ride horses.
Nicole
September 25th, 2007 at 10:09 am
Nicole:
I’m very sorry if I sound a little confused…I got a little bit lost after the second sentence. Would you please clear some things up for me?
1) Do you mean just a few week visit to the middle east? Or do you mean living there for several years kind of thing?
2) Also, what do you mean by baseline? Do you mean God wants us to uphold a certain standard of modesty, and it is not a sin to go farther than that said baseline? Or am I interpreting that incorrectly? I think it is true God has a baseline for modesty: namely, we women respect ourselves and our brothers in Christ enough to cover ourselves up appropriately. But if for some reason, someone wishes to go beyond that baseline of moesty, that is completely fine. If someone is unsure of just how modest to be, it’s always better to cover up more than necessary.
You are very correct in saying in most western cultures only women wear skirts and men do not. That is true. I completely argree that in most western cultures women wear skirts and men don’t. However, I think what we disagree on is whether or not it is alright for women to wear pants other than the times when it would be more modest to wear pants instead of a skirt. As far as I’m concerned, as long as they do not draw unnecessary attention to the backside, are not very low- cut and/or exceedingly tight, and they follow God’s standard for modesty, they are alright to wear.
Once again, thank you to the authors of this wonderful post. It is inspiring on all counts!
In His Service,
~Kirsten A. Gruber
September 27th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
okay, so it took me like two weeks to read all of these posts (off and on). i read all of it, from the people who think girls should always wear skirts and never go to college to the people who think girls need to be equal and the same as guys. and this is now my opinion–i think that within a marriage the woman should submit to the man. if the woman married a good Christian guy like she should have, then the guy will respect her and her opinion and not totally rule over her. If the girl is not married or in some kind of guy/girl relationship, then i think girls can be equal to guys and do the same stuff as them. they can go to college, get a job and such.
Oh, another thing i think is that once married i think it is okay for the woman to keep working but once she has children she should stay home and watch them (unless financial problems force her to work, then its completely fine)
I also think girls can wear pants whenever they want, it is soooo much more convienient and comfortable and in some cases more modest than skirts. I do wear skirts sometimes though and i enjoy it too.
Last thing–this site is a Christian site and this article is for Christians, so i don’t think non-Christians should even be commenting; of course they’re not going to like it–it is a list for Christian women
Okay that’s all, and all the bickering aside, it was a good article, very challenging.
September 30th, 2007 at 11:45 am
thats really cool i liked it a lot and i lik ehow all the scripture was included.
October 2nd, 2007 at 11:37 am
I didn’t have time to read all the comments, however the list was great for those that see themselves there. Also the feminist comments were great for those that see themselves there. The scriptures and studies I have done, and the conversations I have had with my God or Higher Power, have bought me to the conclusions that it is our choice as to how we view a real woman or man. We are the creators of our own world. Let us not judge each other and say you’re right or you’re wrong. What works for one does not work for others , that’s all.
My God loves us all. We are all perfect, otherwise we make him imperfect. He allows us to choose what we want to experience here on earth so we can learn and better know what kind of a world we really want to create…
One of wars over who’s right or wrong …(“my religion is the only true religion.”) (“We’re the only ones that interrupt the scriptures correctly.”) (Convert to Muslim or Islam or Christianity.”) (“ You shouldn’t wear that or do this cause you’re making it hard for someone else who is weaker than you.”)
Or…
Allowing for all of us to be our brothers or sisters keepers by giving and receiving that love that we all desire.
Unconditional Love
We… as perfect beings, use our thinking to choose what we think we want. A lot of times we choose something that doesn’t work for us. We then know what doesn’t work for us. That is the blessing of learning. We can choose again… allowing for the creativity, and learning’s until it does work for us. And eventually we will find the working. That is the beauty and fun of this planet. This Universe is run by perfect natural laws… And with that there are set-up natural consequences. It’s perfect!
I choose into the belief… that we have learned that what we all really want is Unconditional Love 4 All Now.
There has been a lot of comment as to “wake up”. I believe there are many people of this earth that are awake and now know the answer to living a working life is… to key into… the Universal Unconditional Love 4 All. Allowing as God of Higher Power knows the flow of Unconditional Love. Go inside deep inside where all the answers really are. You are the Creator of your own world… join me in the creation of Our World Being one with the flow of Unconditional Love 4 All.
Whatever your belief there is a Higher Power for us now. It is the Unconditional Love that we all desire here. Feel and create Unconditional Love now … by just being who you are… The…” I AM THAT I AM”.
Hugs 2 you all, Lori
October 3rd, 2007 at 11:50 am
Kirsten
Sorry It took me so long to respond. I meant if you were to live over in the midle east for an extended period. We agree on the baseline issue. About pants, I’m don’t know exactly where I stand on that. I wore pants my whole life (except at church) untill I was 14. I’ve worn skirts for three years because my dad wants me to. I do think that it is more femenin to wear long skirts then to wear pants. I think that whether anyone wears pant or skirts is personal conviction. I think I sounded bossy in my last coment so sorry.
Nicole
October 4th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Nicole:
That’s okay. I have been very busy myself. I understand.
I agree with the comment about the middle east. If someone were to live for an extended period of time in another country that has a very strict dress code, they should definately dress like they do (as long as it always modest) in that country. It is respectful to them.
I know exactly where you’re coming from with the skirt issue. When I was in seventh grade, I and my twin sister Elisabeth had visited a church where the women members wore only skirts. Out of respect for their denominational belief, I had started wearing skirts almost all the time, until nineth grade (at this time my sister and I were attending a different church), when I saw that I could wear pants and still be modest (as long as the pants are not immodestly cut and are not very tight).
I totally respect your opinions, and I completely agree that it is a personal conviction. And you definately did not sound bossy, so you have nothing to worry about.
In His Service,
~Kirsten A. Gruber
October 17th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
This was amazing to read. It was definitely a reminder of what God wants me to be. I’ll definitely be asking God to help me be this kind of woman. It was a very challenging post. Thanks for sharing it!!
~Em
October 20th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
When I first read this, I was sad. I want to be everything a woman of God is in these beautiful verses. It is so encouraging! Thank you so much for posting this.
Love Lauren
December 20th, 2007 at 10:39 am
Great list! But, as others have mentioned, the wedding dress pic. contradicts the principles of modesty set forth. I really think you should remove it!
God bless!
December 29th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
This is a great list! Thanks so much for posting it! I still need to work on a lot of things to be a women like that. Thanks again!
In His service
~Austin~
January 8th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Hey guys,
Before I start, great site! I’m really liking it. But all this discussion really has got me thinking. I agree with many of the things on that list, but I think that the thing about striving for equality with men could be differently worded. Contradict me if I’m wrong, but I think what they are trying to say is that men have a role and women have a role, and women shouldn’t be trying to take on men’s roles. I don’t think either role is of more value than the other. And I’d like to recommend a book called Girl