Comments on: The Modern Day Gentleman http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/ reb•e•lu•tion (reb’el lu shen) n. a teenage rebellion against the low expectations of an ungodly culture. Mon, 8 Sep 2008 14:45:45 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.3 by: Kat http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-284976 Tue, 29 Jul 2008 04:27:02 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-284976 I am so glad that you have had the courage to write this blog. I feel like in today’s society we have so few gentleman, and that is something I pray will change. What you said about how men treat their mothers and sisters is how they will one day treat their future wives is a very important point. My mom used to always tell me before i date anyone i should first find out how they treat their mom and sisters because that is how one day they will treat me. I have found this to be true from personal experience, from a guy i once dated. After we were dating he admitted to me that he struggled with respecting and listening to his mother, which I also found true with the way he treated me. I think its important that you brought up the fact that we are not going to change our self seeking desires once we get married, although we would all like to think that it just wont happen. We are going to have to practice putting others first before we get married and break the habit now. I am so glad that you have had the courage to write this blog. I feel like in today’s society we have so few gentleman, and that is something I pray will change. What you said about how men treat their mothers and sisters is how they will one day treat their future wives is a very important point. My mom used to always tell me before i date anyone i should first find out how they treat their mom and sisters because that is how one day they will treat me. I have found this to be true from personal experience, from a guy i once dated. After we were dating he admitted to me that he struggled with respecting and listening to his mother, which I also found true with the way he treated me. I think its important that you brought up the fact that we are not going to change our self seeking desires once we get married, although we would all like to think that it just wont happen. We are going to have to practice putting others first before we get married and break the habit now.

]]> by: Cassie http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-281517 Tue, 22 Jul 2008 18:32:33 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-281517 Thanks for the article! I went to a Christian leadership camp this summer, where all of the guys were told about chivalry in a guy's hall meeting on the first night of camp. I would tell you what the staff said, except seeing as I'm not a guy, that might be difficult! Anyway, they opened doors for us, they let us eat first, and they took our trays after we were done. It was so nice to be taken care of all week! Of course, many of them did, but there were still those who didn't. You could tell that the ones who did really wanted to. At the same time as the camp was occurring, there was a soccer camp at the college campus where we were staying. It was such a difference between the guys from the leadership and soccer camps! One time, I was in line for food standing behind a few soccer guys with a few guys from camp behind me. They were talking about why the soccer guys weren't letting me go first in line and how frustrating that was! Didn't they know there was a girl behind them?!? So, keep it up guys and girls! It really makes a difference! Thanks for the article! I went to a Christian leadership camp this summer, where all of the guys were told about chivalry in a guy’s hall meeting on the first night of camp. I would tell you what the staff said, except seeing as I’m not a guy, that might be difficult! Anyway, they opened doors for us, they let us eat first, and they took our trays after we were done. It was so nice to be taken care of all week! Of course, many of them did, but there were still those who didn’t. You could tell that the ones who did really wanted to. At the same time as the camp was occurring, there was a soccer camp at the college campus where we were staying. It was such a difference between the guys from the leadership and soccer camps! One time, I was in line for food standing behind a few soccer guys with a few guys from camp behind me. They were talking about why the soccer guys weren’t letting me go first in line and how frustrating that was! Didn’t they know there was a girl behind them?!?

So, keep it up guys and girls! It really makes a difference!

]]> by: Callie http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-281023 Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:52:23 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-281023 Whoa! You've really hit a sore spot for me. I have a really, really hard time letting my guy friends open doors for me, ect. I always feel like they're mocking me or think they're stronger than me. But I'll try really, really hard now to say thanks and accept it. Thanks for the look into your lives, gentlemen. Keep it up. Whoa! You’ve really hit a sore spot for me. I have a really, really hard time letting my guy friends open doors for me, ect. I always feel like they’re mocking me or think they’re stronger than me. But I’ll try really, really hard now to say thanks and accept it. Thanks for the look into your lives, gentlemen. Keep it up.

]]> by: Caleb Johnson http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-270525 Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:34:55 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-270525 This is an amazingly well written post. I was raised to treat all people with kindness and respect, especially ladies, and the part where you talked about how you treat your mom or sister will one day be how you treat your wife really jumped out at me. I have realized in some of my past relationships that i did treat my girlfriend of that period of time (or all girls in fact) better than the girls in my family. Thinking about it the way you put it, it makes me think more in-depth about how my actions now are possibly affecting future relationships i might have. On a different note, I definitally understand your point about girls not wanting help from guys recently. I got yelled at a lot in a previous relationship because when I would see her struggling or not knowing how to do something, she would get upset with me for simply offering to help her do it. For example she expected me to sit right next to her and do absolutely nothing while she struggled with simple tasks, such as holding something for her while she tied her shoes. When I did offer help, she would think that I thought she was stupid, or that she was unable to do it herself. This is becoming a growing thought in the back of a lot of women's minds, although in my situation, all I tried to do was be polite and gentlemanly. This is an amazingly well written post. I was raised to treat all people with kindness and respect, especially ladies, and the part where you talked about how you treat your mom or sister will one day be how you treat your wife really jumped out at me. I have realized in some of my past relationships that i did treat my girlfriend of that period of time (or all girls in fact) better than the girls in my family. Thinking about it the way you put it, it makes me think more in-depth about how my actions now are possibly affecting future relationships i might have.

On a different note, I definitally understand your point about girls not wanting help from guys recently. I got yelled at a lot in a previous relationship because when I would see her struggling or not knowing how to do something, she would get upset with me for simply offering to help her do it. For example she expected me to sit right next to her and do absolutely nothing while she struggled with simple tasks, such as holding something for her while she tied her shoes. When I did offer help, she would think that I thought she was stupid, or that she was unable to do it herself. This is becoming a growing thought in the back of a lot of women’s minds, although in my situation, all I tried to do was be polite and gentlemanly.

]]> by: Bethany http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-268699 Sat, 05 Jul 2008 05:05:52 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-268699 As a single girl on a campus, I often have the experience of entering the building behind a couple and watching as the guy holds the door open for the girl.... Then he lets the door slam in my face. Sometimes, you see, chivalrous acts come from selfish ambitions as well. The guy opens the door for the girl he wants to impress, but not for anyone else. It's not about protecting the weaker vessel or anything like that for him. It's about getting ahead with a pretty girl. As far as I am concerned, no guy is getting my approval unless he opens the door for me, my friends, and every girl between him and the next male. As a single girl on a campus, I often have the experience of entering the building behind a couple and watching as the guy holds the door open for the girl…. Then he lets the door slam in my face.

Sometimes, you see, chivalrous acts come from selfish ambitions as well. The guy opens the door for the girl he wants to impress, but not for anyone else. It’s not about protecting the weaker vessel or anything like that for him. It’s about getting ahead with a pretty girl.

As far as I am concerned, no guy is getting my approval unless he opens the door for me, my friends, and every girl between him and the next male.

]]> by: Jennifer http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-266775 Thu, 03 Jul 2008 00:58:49 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-266775 That was very inspiring Brett! Great job! I go to a private school and one of my teachers that I have had for three years has been trying to get the three boys in my class to be more chivalrous around their sisters and mothers and the other girl in our class and me like opening doors and carrying boxes for us and other stuff like that. Before I read this I had always had a hard time accepting their help because I didn't want to seem incompetent. Now I realize that chivalry dying isn't just the boys fault; girls need to accept the help because it is our responsibility to give them the chance to serve God and not take it away. Boys and Girls in Christ stay strong That was very inspiring Brett! Great job! I go to a private school and one of my teachers that I have had for three years has been trying to get the three boys in my class to be more chivalrous around their sisters and mothers and the other girl in our class and me like opening doors and carrying boxes for us and other stuff like that. Before I read this I had always had a hard time accepting their help because I didn’t want to seem incompetent. Now I realize that chivalry dying isn’t just the boys fault; girls need to accept the help because it is our responsibility to give them the chance to serve God and not take it away. Boys and Girls in Christ stay strong

]]> by: steven http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-259980 Wed, 25 Jun 2008 07:02:21 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-259980 I think that acting like a gentleman is just what modern day society needs. Because I think the reason for all the break ups and devoice issues is because people just don't show that they care for each other anymore I think that acting like a gentleman is just what modern day society needs. Because I think the reason for all the break ups and devoice issues is because people just don’t show that they care for each other anymore

]]> by: Lisl http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-259762 Tue, 24 Jun 2008 23:56:29 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-259762 I don't disagree with the ideas presented in this essay, but I feel they could easily be taken too far. Many young men I know that belong in the Modern American Conservative Christian Culture do think that they should open the door for a lady, which I do not disagree with, but they so far as to think that it is wrong for the lady to open her own proverbial door. I am the kind of person who would open her own doors, and the fact that others try so hard to get in the way of that sometimes makes it more difficult for me to be who I know God intended me to be. Obviously I'm not just talking about doors, but things like participating in church in a capacity other than making cookies to serve afterwards and watching after children in the nursery. I realize I shouldn't do anything that would make it difficult for my brothers in Christ to be who they are supposed to be, but I do believe that my role in this life is more than just to be a "help-mate" for my husband. When that starts being said in reference to chivalry, it has been taken too far, and doesn't allow me to be who God created me to be. I think we need to stay safely on the middle ground. I don’t disagree with the ideas presented in this essay, but I feel they could easily be taken too far. Many young men I know that belong in the Modern American Conservative Christian Culture do think that they should open the door for a lady, which I do not disagree with, but they so far as to think that it is wrong for the lady to open her own proverbial door. I am the kind of person who would open her own doors, and the fact that others try so hard to get in the way of that sometimes makes it more difficult for me to be who I know God intended me to be. Obviously I’m not just talking about doors, but things like participating in church in a capacity other than making cookies to serve afterwards and watching after children in the nursery.

I realize I shouldn’t do anything that would make it difficult for my brothers in Christ to be who they are supposed to be, but I do believe that my role in this life is more than just to be a “help-mate” for my husband. When that starts being said in reference to chivalry, it has been taken too far, and doesn’t allow me to be who God created me to be. I think we need to stay safely on the middle ground.

]]> by: Charlotte http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-257347 Sun, 22 Jun 2008 08:03:06 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-257347 Dear Elisabeth, It was kind of you to offer your friend your coat; however, it was right of him to politely refuse the coat because God commands men to "give honor unto the weaker vessel." It would be dishonoring to his manhood if he had accepted your offer; it is pleasing in God's sight that you respected him and his wishes. It would be unchivalrous of him to accept because chivalry is self-sacrificial. As sisters in Christ, we should always seek to treat men and boys in a way that will build them up, with respect. When we act like true, godly ladies, it encourages them to act like men! Women have a great influence on men, so let us use that influence for God's glory, helping them, especially our brothers in Christ, to be chivalrous and to act like real men! :-) Sincerely, Charlotte Dear Elisabeth, It was kind of you to offer your friend your coat; however, it was right of him to politely refuse the coat because God commands men to “give honor unto the weaker vessel.” It would be dishonoring to his manhood if he had accepted your offer; it is pleasing in God’s sight that you respected him and his wishes. It would be unchivalrous of him to accept because chivalry is self-sacrificial.
As sisters in Christ, we should always seek to treat men and boys in a way that will build them up, with respect. When we act like true, godly ladies, it encourages them to act like men! Women have a great influence on men, so let us use that influence for God’s glory, helping them, especially our brothers in Christ, to be chivalrous and to act like real men! :-) Sincerely, Charlotte

]]> by: Elizabeth http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-249604 Thu, 12 Jun 2008 21:42:56 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/#comment-249604 I have a question. Recently I was at a football game with a guy friend I'd just met. It was cold and I was wearing a summer dress and he was wearing shorts. So I got a big jacket from my car and was wearing it for awhile, then I noticed my friend was shivering so I offered to let him use the coat, because I really wasn't cold (I don't get cold very easily) but he wouldn't. I even took it off and just set it there but he wouldn't take it...he said he'd feel bad and he wasn't raised that way. I totally respected him for that but still...was he right to do that? I didn't need the coat, would it be wrong or somehow unchivalrous for him to take it? I understand why he would be uncomfortable, but I still definitely wouldn't have minded him using it. Does anyone have an opinion? Alex, Brett? I have a question. Recently I was at a football game with a guy friend I’d just met. It was cold and I was wearing a summer dress and he was wearing shorts. So I got a big jacket from my car and was wearing it for awhile, then I noticed my friend was shivering so I offered to let him use the coat, because I really wasn’t cold (I don’t get cold very easily) but he wouldn’t. I even took it off and just set it there but he wouldn’t take it…he said he’d feel bad and he wasn’t raised that way. I totally respected him for that but still…was he right to do that? I didn’t need the coat, would it be wrong or somehow unchivalrous for him to take it? I understand why he would be uncomfortable, but I still definitely wouldn’t have minded him using it.

Does anyone have an opinion? Alex, Brett?

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