Comments on: Receiving Counterfeit Chivalry

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By: McKenna

McKenna — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 14:51:36 +0000

Well one incident I had a while ago has opened my eyes to what a lot of girls are dealing with. I was at a roller skating rink, and one guy who I had just met came up and used both of his thumbs to push me hard in the stomach to make me fall (some guys have the weirdest way of flirting–but it also showed me that he didn’t respect me!) That scared me. I mean this guy was huge! It seriously scared me! I had never been in a situation where a guy felt like he could do whatever he wanted because I was smaller and weaker. I told my older brother and he and his best friend stayed glued to me the rest of the day. I have always been taught to have zero tolerance for boys touching me, and I’ve actually had to get in a guy’s face and yell at him to never touch me again. (we were in a pool and he grabed me in a bear hug from behind and pulled me under) I have a black belt in karate, and it has really helped in my self confidence. But I think there are a lot girls out there who get touched in an inapropriate way and feel like they can’t tell them “No” or defend themselves because they feel like they’ll be overpowered. I have two brothers and three close guy friends who are brothers. It hasn’t happened often, but every now and then a guy will get in my personal space or just try to be rude and annoying to me. Almost every time (sometimes there not there to help) my brother or friend will step in to distract him so I can walk away, or my friend has actually had to tell another guy to leave me alone. Girls SO MUCH want to be able to rely on their brothers (even younger ones) and their guy friends for protection. Even tell them “I’ll stand up for you, or I’ve got your back, or even better I’ll protect you.” I can’t even begin to explain how it makes us feel, to know that there are guys out there who won’t just open the door for us or carry a heavy load for us. But that they’re willing to defend and protect our honor, body, and heart.

By: Solomon

Solomon — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 10:09:05 +0000

Marie,

your comment is uplifting, revealing and powerful. Anything we do for Christ, will be imbued with the special unmistakable aura of God. Anything we do for ourselves is sadly lacking in comparison.
Bret, thanks for the series. They have gotten me through a particularly bleak spell.

God bless y’all

By: Steve Mendoza

Steve Mendoza — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 23:53:29 +0000

hey!

brett: i really liked this post, and i agree with everything you said in it. unfortunately, i must admit that i have done “chivalrous” things, as a mask for flirting with pretty girls. but, that is not always the case. other times, i will open the door for some girls, and try to be polite to them, and they will turn “about-face”, and walk the exact opposite direction! i really cant stand that! plus, it is not just in the public school setting. it has happened to me in church, and even with christian home school kids! that is what saddens me the most! what is our world coming to?!?! haha

By: Katy

Katy — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 00:14:02 +0000

My brothers in Christ,

Just from this girl’s perspective, if you’re opening doors for me, carrying things for me, helping me with something, giving up a seat…AND are doing it consistently, for all the other girls I/you am/are around, it will be very clear to me that you’re not “flirting” or showing “special attentions.” You’re being a gentleman. That means a lot to a girl…I’d be more comfortable with you doing something out-of-your-way and kind when you’re doing it for everyone else too. I remember a guy carrying a box out to the car for me once…I did feel awkward just carrying the car keys, but I appreciated it more than I told him, for fear of coming across wrong. So thanks to you guys who persevere and are consistently kind - please know that it doesn’t go unnoticed, and we respect you for it! Your sister in Christ, Katy

By: Megan

Megan — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 23:03:33 +0000

Thank you for this post, it’s so true, I have often felt treated like this before. Once, after breakfast in (boarding) school, a guy went out of his way to open a door for me and a few friends, something we wouldn’t have usually expected from this guy. As we walked separate ways, we heard the conversation between this guy and his friend:
friend “what are you doing mate?”
door opener “oh, I just wanna get laid”
I guess that’s why I sometimes don’t like chivalry…
I have come to really appreciate my brother and dad through reading these posts, my brother is always trying to serve my sister and I, even through really small things like letting us choose the TV channel and making cups of tea!

By: richard hockley

richard hockley — Fri, 14 May 2010 16:24:22 +0000

great post its time for me to start acting as a consistent gentleman instead of a flirt wich has no purpose