Comments on: The Big Misunderstanding http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/ reb•e•lu•tion (reb’el lu shen) n. a teenage rebellion against low expectations Sat, 21 Nov 2009 10:26:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: Amy http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-515383 Amy Tue, 03 Nov 2009 04:00:11 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-515383 "Could I carry that for you? I know you could carry it by yourself, but I just want to serve you" To be honest, if someone said something like that to me, I'd think he was a little nutty. Overeager, at the least. And sometimes a woman has a good reason for wanting to do something for herself, and sometimes she feels she doesn't need to offer an explanation beyond "No, thanks." Maybe she's carrying something fragile or personal, and doesn't feel comfortable trusting anyone else with it, or maybe she has some need or desire to perform a task in solitude, or maybe she just prefers not to talk to men she doesn't know. Sometimes "No, thanks" is just "No, thanks". Help that's not wanted is no help at all. “Could I carry that for you? I know you could carry it by yourself, but I just want to serve you”

To be honest, if someone said something like that to me, I’d think he was a little nutty. Overeager, at the least. And sometimes a woman has a good reason for wanting to do something for herself, and sometimes she feels she doesn’t need to offer an explanation beyond “No, thanks.” Maybe she’s carrying something fragile or personal, and doesn’t feel comfortable trusting anyone else with it, or maybe she has some need or desire to perform a task in solitude, or maybe she just prefers not to talk to men she doesn’t know. Sometimes “No, thanks” is just “No, thanks”. Help that’s not wanted is no help at all.

]]> By: Kayli http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-504677 Kayli Wed, 02 Sep 2009 05:31:52 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-504677 Great post!! What a great way of looking at it.... the right way of looking at it. Great post!! What a great way of looking at it…. the right way of looking at it.

]]> By: Heidi http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-501394 Heidi Tue, 18 Aug 2009 16:23:54 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-501394 Thank you so much for posting this series! It has been very thought-provoking. I am blessed to be surrounded by many very helpful gentleman. But I, like many of the girls who have commented, have never realized how many times I've said "No, thanks, I've got it." to a well meaning guy without thinking about the reason behind my refusal. Thank you for allowing God to teach and work through you both! Thank you so much for posting this series! It has been very thought-provoking. I am blessed to be surrounded by many very helpful gentleman. But I, like many of the girls who have commented, have never realized how many times I’ve said “No, thanks, I’ve got it.” to a well meaning guy without thinking about the reason behind my refusal.

Thank you for allowing God to teach and work through you both!

]]> By: Aravir http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-491830 Aravir Thu, 02 Jul 2009 21:50:45 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-491830 Like Jamie (5th post down) my reason for refusing a young man's 'chivalrous' offer is usually because I wasn't sure if the offer came from the heart or flirtatiousness. And I'm not one to shun help either. While at a homeschool convention (of which my brothers did not attend) I would actually pause at doors and briefly wonder why they weren't opening, I had become so accustom to my brothers always being there for me! Like Jamie (5th post down) my reason for refusing a young man’s ‘chivalrous’ offer is usually because I wasn’t sure if the offer came from the heart or flirtatiousness.
And I’m not one to shun help either. While at a homeschool convention (of which my brothers did not attend) I would actually pause at doors and briefly wonder why they weren’t opening, I had become so accustom to my brothers always being there for me!

]]> By: Melody http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-491195 Melody Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:40:10 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-491195 Ive really enjoyed reading these speeches. Its made me look at my background and upbringing and how it has directed the way Ive responded to chivalry in guys. Growing up, I had a very abusive stepfather who'd do these sorts of things like opening doors and carrying things etc but wanted things to be done in return to him which were entirely innappropriate. As a girl growing into a woman this would have seriously negatively impacted on my perception of men had I not met my true father in heaven when I was 14. And even though the abuse continued til I left home for college, my spiritual daddy put other wonderful, caring and godly men in my life to demonstrate how women should be treated and I am grateful that I had the comparison so I could get out of that destructive pathway. Nowadays I have an immense respect for guys (young and old) who treat their wives, sisters and mothers this way and well as strangers. When you do this, you give hope to women who seek evidence of gentlemen in the world. The men who gave this hope to me as a young girl didnt even know who they were impacting. They didnt know what my home life was like, all they did was treat me with courtesy and respect. And for that I thankfully love them as a sister and daughter in Christ. I hope my wee story provides motivation to all guys out there, when you are a gentleman you are impacting not only on the woman you are serving but also on those who witness what you are doing. And that is a blessing. Ive really enjoyed reading these speeches. Its made me look at my background and upbringing and how it has directed the way Ive responded to chivalry in guys.
Growing up, I had a very abusive stepfather who’d do these sorts of things like opening doors and carrying things etc but wanted things to be done in return to him which were entirely innappropriate. As a girl growing into a woman this would have seriously negatively impacted on my perception of men had I not met my true father in heaven when I was 14. And even though the abuse continued til I left home for college, my spiritual daddy put other wonderful, caring and godly men in my life to demonstrate how women should be treated and I am grateful that I had the comparison so I could get out of that destructive pathway.
Nowadays I have an immense respect for guys (young and old) who treat their wives, sisters and mothers this way and well as strangers. When you do this, you give hope to women who seek evidence of gentlemen in the world. The men who gave this hope to me as a young girl didnt even know who they were impacting. They didnt know what my home life was like, all they did was treat me with courtesy and respect. And for that I thankfully love them as a sister and daughter in Christ.

I hope my wee story provides motivation to all guys out there, when you are a gentleman you are impacting not only on the woman you are serving but also on those who witness what you are doing. And that is a blessing.

]]> By: Katie http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-485731 Katie Sun, 14 Jun 2009 05:44:10 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-485731 Hmm... this is very interesting. I can't think of anything now, but I'm sure there are times I've done a similar thing out of embarrassment. I'm so surprised and self conscious that I say no, and yet I complain when men aren't gentlemen??? O.o That makes no sense, and maybe that's why guys say they don't understand us girls... Hmm… this is very interesting. I can’t think of anything now, but I’m sure there are times I’ve done a similar thing out of embarrassment. I’m so surprised and self conscious that I say no, and yet I complain when men aren’t gentlemen??? O.o That makes no sense, and maybe that’s why guys say they don’t understand us girls…

]]> By: Francesca T http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-480293 Francesca T Fri, 29 May 2009 14:20:37 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-480293 I like it when you said, “Could I carry that for you? I know you could carry it by yourself, but I just want to serve you.” It makes it sound more caring and not just saying that you think we're weak b/c we're girls. You want to serve and we need to encourage you. You've written some good articles. :) I like it when you said, “Could I carry that for you? I know you could carry it by yourself, but I just want to serve you.” It makes it sound more caring and not just saying that you think we’re weak b/c we’re girls. You want to serve and we need to encourage you. You’ve written some good articles. :)

]]> By: Dalton Bequette http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-479869 Dalton Bequette Thu, 28 May 2009 08:05:30 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-479869 Good jod Brett!!! I got slugged hard by a girl in my youth group once because she thought I was insituating that she was not capable of lifting a fifty pound box... after that I wasn't sure I wanted to help her anymore. Good jod Brett!!!
I got slugged hard by a girl in my youth group once because she thought I was insituating that she was not capable of lifting a fifty pound box… after that I wasn’t sure I wanted to help her anymore.

]]> By: Maria http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-455287 Maria Thu, 19 Mar 2009 07:02:51 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-455287 Wow, Brett, you have some REALLY good insights here! I have very often been the not-wanting-to-incovenience type (I'm the sort of person who's often perfectly content to be a wall-flower; the LAST thing I want to do is cause someone inconvenience!) I never thought that it might actually be even more "inconvenient" for a man to be turned down. I'll definitely keep all this in mind in the future! Thanks! P.S. At first, I thought these articles seemed like the kind of thing only girls would be really interested in; but I was VERY happy to see that some guys have read them, too, and have actually been inspired and encouraged to go out and be real gentlemen again because of them!!! I mean, that is SO GREAT!!!! Wow, Brett, you have some REALLY good insights here! I have very often been the not-wanting-to-incovenience type (I’m the sort of person who’s often perfectly content to be a wall-flower; the LAST thing I want to do is cause someone inconvenience!) I never thought that it might actually be even more “inconvenient” for a man to be turned down. I’ll definitely keep all this in mind in the future! Thanks!

P.S. At first, I thought these articles seemed like the kind of thing only girls would be really interested in; but I was VERY happy to see that some guys have read them, too, and have actually been inspired and encouraged to go out and be real gentlemen again because of them!!! I mean, that is SO GREAT!!!!

]]> By: Anna http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-447221 Anna Thu, 12 Mar 2009 16:09:25 +0000 http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/09/the-big-misunderstanding/#comment-447221 Oops! That's supposed to be now :) Oops! That’s supposed to be now :)

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