[...]The Rebelution: Modesty Survey Closing Soon[...]…

I applaud your emphasis on the greater dignity, grace, self-esteem, and spiritual focus that accompany modesty. My support for modesty goes far beyond the mere external (and certainly far beyond any list of recommendations or survey results). True modesty is primarily an inward quality. I see consideration for others as only one aspect of modesty—one that can be served through communication. That is the purpose of the modesty survey. I know that many of the Rebelution’s regular readers understand this, but it is harder for those who have only just stumbled (no pun intended ;)) on the survey.

I hope you will see this comment. Brett and I have both appreciated the thoughts you have shared in this discussion. You said you approach modesty from the Jewish perspective; are you familiar with Wendy Shalit’s book A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue? I suppose you are, as Wendy also approaches modesty from the Jewish perspective. Her book is one of our favorites on the subject.

To the rest:
No one here is claiming that guys are not to be held to the utmost standard with regard to what they do. In fact, the opposite has been stated quite strongly.

And definitely, stumbling can occur even if a girl wears a burka, I am sure.

I have heard from numerous women that they were never even aware that guys noticed certain things - so that is what I would think will be the best benefit of this survey: more knowledge about how others think. I think some of these statements/answers will have more of an effect coming from 1000 guys, rather than being taught at a ladies’ meeting somewhere.

Or do y’all really believe that males will simply be weak-minded infants all their lives and females should treat them as such?

Perhaps your ilk should begin to understand that our bodies are wonderful, natural gifts and they should be appreciated and respected, no matter how much of them is showing.

You don’t have to spend your entire life enslaved to shame and reacting like an animal.

I truly feel sorry for those of you who have bought into this. I was reared very much like you, but I had the strength to leave and learn. I hope you do as well.

The reason I want to know how to dress modestly, is because I want the true Christian guys in my life to be able to fully look at me without having to avert their eyes. I have noticed many times over, that the guys who really care about me, or don’t want to lust after a girl look away when the girl’s clothing reveals too much.

There are plenty of guys who realize their own responsibility, and try to avoid sinning as well as they can.. but it makes ME feel uncomfortable to know that those guys have to avoid looking at me because of the way I’m dressed.

Guys either look away when they see immodesty.. or they stare. My body is not for sale.. and I don’t need to advertise it.

Your comment could have been more respectful itself, you know, with its talk of “what amuses me most about this whole situation” and “you feminists” and such - though I certainly admire how respectful you and Alex have been of the arguers through most of this!

In regard to your specific allegation—that The Modesty Survey places blame on women—I’m afraid you’ve misinterpreted our purpose. The survey does not imply that women are responsible for men’s actions—it merely encourages Christian women to help Christian men in a recognized area of struggle. That help is largely conditional on whether those men are already fighting hard themselves.

I actually find it slightly amusing that here we have 1,500+ men humbly admitting their weakness and voicing their need for women’s help—and all at the women’s request, I might add—and the feminists object.

A girl asked if it was okay to dress “sexy/suggestively.” She (Lisa Bevere) responded by saying “Sure, I think it is a great idea. Go right ahead and dress like a whore if you want to attract a whoremonger. It’s like fishing - the bait you use will determine what you’ll catch. So if you want to hook a sleazy guy, by all means, dress sleazy.”