Modesty Survey: Endorsements and Promotion
It has been exactly one week since The Modesty Survey results were released as a St. Valentine’s Day gift to Christian girls. Since then it has received over 1.9 million page loads from nearly 100,000 unique visitors.
Endorsements From Respected Leaders
Already, several highly-respected ministry leaders have given their endorsement to this project, including Shaunti Feldhahn (best-selling author of For Women Only and For Young Women Only), Nancy Leigh DeMoss (author, Revive Our Hearts radio host), C.J. Mahaney (Sovereign Grace Ministries), and Shannon Ethridge (best-selling author of Every Woman’s Battle series). Take the time to read those endorsements.
Help Spread The Word
Our prayer is that the powerful message of The Modesty Survey will serve as a encouragement, exhortation, and education to millions of Christian men and women around the world. But it is only by God’s grace, evidenced through your willingness to get behind The Modesty Survey, that we will find them.
To make it easy for you we have created a page with Three Suggestions for how you can get involved. We give you sample text for email blasts and blog posts, as well as slick promo cards to hand out at church and school.
Finally, if you have a story of how The Modesty Survey has impacted you or someone you know, don’t hesitate to send it to us. We’d love to hear from you.
February 21st, 2007 at 6:38 pm
I have sent this out to all of my friends, and I have asked them to send it on to their friends as well.
This survey has been so helpful to me. It has really been a eye opener for me. Through it (especially the text messages), I have realized things that I would have never even thought of before. Thanks so much for this! 
February 21st, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Wow — this is really exciting guys!
I would have to echo Stephanie: Although there was some stuff in the comments that I maybe already knew or could’ve guessed, there was also an awful lot of stuff that I had no idea about and probably never would have dreamed up. I’m so glad I know those things now though, so that I can be extra conscious and sensitive about them.
February 21st, 2007 at 7:27 pm
Bravo gentlemen! The modesty survery is serving as a tool to help young ladies to know how men think when it comes to how women dress. I thought the survey was a wonderful idea and I have supported it from it’s conception. I pray that many young ladies like myself are blessed and will use it for the Glory of God.
Many Blessings
February 21st, 2007 at 8:15 pm
Thank you for the email blast! I was just wondering what to say in an email to a girlfriend of mine from my church and you provided the answer. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done to make this wonderful resource possible.
I know some girls have gotten angry over the survey and the results and voiced their (negative) opinions here but I want you to know that the majority of girls (myself included) absolutely LOVE the survey and I will always look to it as a valuable resource in the future.
Thank you again and may God richly bless you through this
February 21st, 2007 at 9:31 pm
Praise God for the success of the Modesty Survey! My youth pastor is going to share this with our youth group.
February 22nd, 2007 at 10:37 am
This was such an eye-opener for me! Thanks so much! i think that survey really encourages girls to be more modest because they know how their dress, behavior…affects the guys around them.
February 22nd, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Now THAT was neat! The endorsements were wonderful, and makes the Modesty Survey seem even that much more… I don’t know, is “special” the word I’m looking for?
February 22nd, 2007 at 5:25 pm
Several days ago, I posted on my blog about the Modesty Survey, and I also sent out an e-mail to all of my friends telling them about it. I’m sure that it will get passed on even more. I’m still getting e-mails back about it, and everyone that I’ve heard from loves it! I got an e-mail from a friend just today who was thanking me for telling her about it. She said that it really encouraged her to dress modestly, and made her start thinking of some things that she has never considered before.
Thanks again for all the hard work that went into the survey. I found a whole lot of questions on there that I have had before (such as spaghetti straps on formal dresses, or a purse with a strap across the chest), but a lot of times I just didn’t feel that it was appropriate to ask my guy friends questions like that. And, as well as most of the other girls have said, there were a lot of things on there that I have never really thought about. So I really appreciated the survey, and especially the comments, where we can read what guys really think about it.
February 23rd, 2007 at 12:04 am
I have been spreading the word to pretty much everyone I know…and many people I don’t even know have asked me about the modesty survey through my blog! It is really exciting to see people being interested in protecting the hearts of their brothers (and sisters) in Christ!
~Lady Tai
February 23rd, 2007 at 11:19 am
Thank you so much for this I have been thinking and some of the people I hang out with dress in a really bad way that can cause guys to lust. I think this will help them think about how they dress around guys.
Kasey
February 25th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
I applaud your efforts to educate young Christian men and women about the standards of modesty and purity God has called us to. I recently found this quote from a book published in 1920 and thought of your site.
“It seems terrible for my little girl to go among young men so sort of nakedly. I’m sure if you understood life better, you wouldn’t do it. You are tempting men to wrong thoughts, undressed that way, and you are putting on common view the intimate loveliness of the body God gave you to keep holy and pure. It is the way cheap women have of making many men love them in a careless physical way. I don’t know how to tell you, but it seems terrible to me. If you were my own little girl, I never, never would be willing to have you go out that way.”
from Cloudy Jewel by Grace Livingston Hill
My blessings from God are both very young, but my husband and I are trying to encourage them in the ways of the Lord, and modesty is an issue we discuss regularly.
I often reccomend your blog to young friends! Keep on doing the hard things.
February 25th, 2007 at 6:42 pm
Wow!! Thanks so much guys for letting us girls have a genuine understanding of what ya’ll belive to be modest! Sometimes, females, don’t have any conception of what male people have to put up with dailey. The survey gave me a whole new outlook on the definition of modesty. It was very convicting!! -Esther
February 28th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Thank you so much for doing this! I knew a lot of it already, but there were a few things I had no idea about. The most encouraging thing was that it showed me that guys actually notice and appreciate it when we dress modestly, and that they respect us and like us better for it. Thanks!
February 28th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
Some thoughts on the modesty survey:
1) If the intent is to avoid titillating the imaginations of young men, this survey may not have been the best way to go about it. The questions invite participants to consider women’s attire in such minute detail that the reader can’t help but form a mental picture that could cause a guy to stumble. One example of this was the question pertaining to the precise location where a woman’s pendant rests against her body.
2) While I respect modesty in dress (for both sexes), this survey encourages the notion that men have a right to weigh in on even the most picayune aspects of women’s dress, mannerisms, and accessories — and that women have an obligation to be aware in excruciating detail of every inch of their own bodies or every unconscious movement lest they cause their brothers in Christ to stumble. And of course, these excruciating details are all set by the subjective experiences of the men. Basically, what the survey conveys is that when I go out in the morning, my smallest decisions (such as how to carry my purse) should be subject to the subjective viewpoints of young men and boys. I don’t think you have to be a feminist to conclude that this represents an unacceptable degree of male control over women.
3) Also what about double standards? What about helping girls and women not to stumble? There doesn’t seem to be the same emphasis on male modesty here. Sure, I’ll buy that men are more easily “visually” stimulated and also that men may be plagued by lustful thoughts more frequently than women. But, nonetheless, virtually all girls and women stumble, and stumble often, just as men do. Has it occurred to anyone that men’s soccer uniforms (with the shorts and knee socks) draw too much attention to the male thigh thus creating an unacceptable risk of causing young women to stumble? Or what about the tight pants that male football players wear? Ever mow the lawn in a sleeveless top or without a shirt? In short, what precisely and in detail are the parameters of boy’s and men’s obligations to dress and behave modestly? And why aren’t Christian men and boys worrying about this more?
4) Young people of both sexes also need to understand that sometimes (or dare I say, often) boys and men will lust after a girl or woman just because she exists. And there is nothing she can do to prevent it, and there is nothing she can or should be expected to do to prevent it. She is entirely blameless in the matter.
5) And there is one last thing perhaps more important than modesty and more important than avoiding the temptation to lust. Every young man has a duty to remember that girls and women are full-fledged human beings with hearts and brains and souls, daughters of the Creator with inherent worth. I don’t think that this principle can be stressed enough — especially as applied to young women who perhaps aren’t behaving modestly or appropriately, young women who ARE trying to provoke a reaction, or “flaunt” their bodies. Let’s say you fall into a lustful reverie for a young woman. Regardless of whether she deliberately incited this or not (and it’s probably deliberate far less often than you assume), as a Christian, you should remember that she still has feelings and hopes and ideas and a soul that are worthy of your respect. This holds true even if you don’t approve of her behavior vis-a-vis one particular aspect of her conduct, such as her dress or her flirting etc. I worry often that this stress on women’s obligation to modesty can lead to the dehumanization of women who don’t meet the standards of modesty. (A classic example of this is labeling a particular girl a “slut”.)
6) The final point that I worry can be lost is that at the end of the day, the entire responsibility for a man’s sin is his own. Before God, you don’t get to point the finger at a woman in a short skirt and say, “But she made me do it.”
March 17th, 2007 at 11:48 am
The previous poster’s point 6 is critical.
I am an adult woman (almost 30) who grew up in the home school movement, where women are frequently blamed for the sexual sins of men.
When I read the results of your modesty survey, I was alarmed at the “Blame-Game” nature of the questions. The questions were phrased to suggest that women are responsible for the sins of lustful men.
If a woman poses au naturel for a magazine, is it her fault you picked it up?
If a woman is wearing pants, and you lust, is this her fault?
The attire of women, modest or immodest, is not going to impact the condition of a lustful heart.
Next time you lust for a girl in a swimsuit, instead of judging her, get on your knees and ask God to help you develop a sexuality surrendered to God.
Men need to take responsibility for their sexual sins and STOP blaming women.
This is not to say women shouldn’t dress modestly. It’s just saying men should focus on what THEY can do to change, and not run around blaming knee length skirts for their arousal.
March 17th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
Sarah: You are absolutely right—men are 100% responsible for their own lust. Women, however, are 100% responsible for their own motivations for dressing the way they do.
I agree with you that a woman who wears pants or a modest swimsuit is not necessarily responsible (and is never fully or even primarily responsible) for men’s reactions to her clothing, provided she was not wearing them for the purpose of drawing that kind of attention. However, I would be very interested in hearing you support your implication that a woman who poses au naturel for a magazine is not at all responsible for men lusting after her.
You are concerned that men place all the blame on women, but you seem to want to reverse the offense and place all the blame on men. I think if you were to read more of the survey (especially the Open Questions) you will find that the guys who took the survey are not blaming women for their own sexual sins. I would also recommend that you read The Responsibility of Modesty (Part 1) and Part 2 which explains very accurately what we feel is the biblical responsibility of men and women in this area.
April 14th, 2007 at 12:10 am
I have extremely mixed feelings on this subject. As a Christian woman who grew up in Christian circle this subject has come up often in conversation. I think it’s important for girls to dress modestly for their own dignity. But I was actually pretty upset at some of the responses I read by the guys regarding the survey questions. I think the survey is walking a very fine line between trying to help/inform young girls on what causes them to stumble and judging them. A few guys mentioned that they had less respect for girls who dressed immodestly. This is very troubling and hurtful. We’re walking on very dangerous terrain when Christian men respect a Christian woman wearing a bikini less than a Christian woman wearing a one-piece.
Secondly, I’d like to talk about how the focus has always been on women being a stumbling block for men, but very rarely do we talk about how men are a stumbling block for women. Maybe it’s because the physical aspect is more blatent that the emotion, but the fact of the matter is that emotion “immodesty” is very damaging. We worry about a girl wearing a tanktop or low-rise jeans, but no one ever talks about how guys can emotionally hurt and damage girls by their actions, unintentionally. When a guy winks, touches a girl arm while talking, hugs just a little too long, flirts carelessly, etc., this makes a girl’s imagination run wild emotionally…”does he like me?”…”what would our wedding be like?”!!!! And then girls see them do the same with other girls and they don’t understand why. “If he’s flirting with me that means he must like me…so then why is he flirting with her?” This leads to broken hearts.
I hope this topic of modesty (physical and emotional/ men and women) can be merely informative and non-judgemental.
June 3rd, 2007 at 7:23 pm
Thank you guys so much for this resource. I have had many of my questions answered through this survey.
Kristin: I completely agree with you!
July 16th, 2007 at 8:14 am
What a pity
Elsewhere on your site you acknowledge that this survey does not stand up to statistical rigour, yet here it is being encouraged as spot-on. Endorsement from an array of characters whose p.o.v. predisposes them to a particular view of modesty only add to the craziness of it all. Indeed, many of the endorsers are writers with publications focussed on girls’ modesty of dress: a vested interest in getting teens to explore this topic, one might say.
Susan - your point is a good one. Unfortunately, this topic cannot be divorced from judgement, since that is what is relied upon as a means of assessing modesty or immodesty in this survey, and the posts of those taking part in the survey demonstrate this.
How deppressing. Ladies: prepare for further judgement…
July 16th, 2007 at 9:48 am
Pete: The men and women who endorsed the survey did not do so because they agree with every answer and every text response, but because they see it as a useful resource to Christian girls who care about modesty. The fact that the endorsers are also Christians who care about modesty is a given, so I’m afraid I really don’t understand your objection. I think it’s time to cease and desist.
July 18th, 2007 at 7:58 am
I appreciate that an endorsement is not a demonstration of fundamental agreement with every statement made by the survey’s participants, but the point is that if the survey is built on unsound foundations, its conclusions (and therefore its undefulness as a guide) are flawed. There lies part of the objection.
And as for the endorsers: I understand that Christians have an interest in modesty, but my point is that many of these endorsers actually profit from that interest (since I assume that the books they have written are for sale not donation), and will benefit from anything that perpetuates their particular take on what constitutes modesty (e.g. your survey). I would extend similar objections to interested parties endorsing studies that are nothing to do with Christianity.
And finally, the survey is asking boys/young men to judge what they consider to be modest or otherwise in girls/young women. You have said elsewhere that there may be an equivalent survey where the subjects and judges are reversed, but I feel that it is telling (and unsurprising) that the original survey (along with most modesty-based discussion within conservative circles) focussed on females, not males.
I appreciate you posting my comments. I hope they come across as debate and not offense.
July 18th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
I’m not sure that explains your original objection to the endorsements, Peter. It’s clear that you disagree with us and the endorsers (and thousands of Christian women) about the usefulness of the survey, but that’s not really an argument against the endorsements.
I’m afraid your second paragraph is baffling to me. The few survey endorsers who have ministries directly related to issues of sexual purity have created those ministries because they care deeply about those issues and about other people. Personal attacks on the character of the endorsers doesn’t help your position.
Also, the survey did not ask young men to give their input on female dress. Christian young women asked Christian young men to give input on female dress and the survey facilitated their request. As you should know from reading other posts on the subject, guys did not come up with the idea for the survey. The idea and the questions were submitted by Christian teen and college-age girls.
Finally, we do allow debate in our comments sections, provided it is productive. That requires there to be common ground on which to proceed. Unfortunately, I do not see that common ground here. You do not share our belief in the importance of modesty and you take issue with the very idea of the survey. Because of that, I need to ask you to stop. Thanks for understanding.
July 19th, 2007 at 3:46 am
Sure - it’s your site after all!
While I don’t necessarily share many of your beliefs (though I’d say there is always common ground between people, and I’ve no doubt I share some of your values), I wish you well for the future, and will continue to dip into the site every so often.
Many thanks for taking the time to at least offer a reply.
Pete
July 19th, 2007 at 10:07 am
Thanks for understanding, Pete. May God bless you.
June 3rd, 2009 at 6:43 am
[...] of Modesty (1) The Responsibility of Modesty (2) The Purpose of Clothing Free to be Modest Survey Endorsements Alex and Brett on the Survey Fred Stoeker on the Survey Josh Harris on the Survey Possibly related [...]
June 14th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
Hey! Thanks for the survey! It was very helpful, except that I couldn’t find solutions on what is appropriate to wear. So if you could post your ideas are of what modest clothing is that would be great! Thanks.
September 17th, 2011 at 4:32 pm
i just wanted to say thanks! with all my friends sometimes dressing immodestly and looking cute it makes me want to do the same. thankfully i have a dad who wont let me and it makes me realize that christian guys really do care about this stuff! thank you so much for this survey! i have learned alot!
God be with you!
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