195 Responses to “The Modesty Survey Results”

1. Katrina Rowe Says:
   February 14th, 2007 at 9:39 am

   I just had to be the first comment! Thanks all of you who made my dream a reality! I absolutely love the results! Great job, everyone!

2. Mercy Joy Says:
   February 14th, 2007 at 9:40 am

   I LOVE IT!!! I’m in awe. It is really really great. Thank you all who made this possible!
   -Love and God Bless,
   MJ

3. Celeste Says:
   February 14th, 2007 at 9:42 am

   Thanks to everyone who had any part in this!! It is wonderful!

4. Liz Says:
   February 14th, 2007 at 9:42 am

   Thanks so much!! this is truely an amazing gift…thanks for all who worked so hard to make this happen!

5. Marissa Says:
   February 14th, 2007 at 9:47 am

   Guys, I’m reading the survey results…

   Wow. You all did an EXCELLENT job.

   THANK YOU SO MUCH, every person who took time to invent, create, promote, and fill out this survey. It’s way beyond what I ever thought it would be! For those of you who took the extra time to offer text responses, thank you. Most of those are encouraging me a lot as I read them.

   I’ve always cared a lot about modesty, and tried my best, but reading these text responses has brought tears to my eyes, and was a tremendous encouragement to hear that MANY people DO appreciate it and it is a help and encouragement to them. This survey is an added encouragement to press on and stand strong (guys & girls!) because people do care about it!

   Guys, you don’t know how much of a blessing this survey is. The direct link is sure going up on my blogs!!

6. Caleb Says:
   February 14th, 2007 at 9:49 am

   The results are even better than I anticipated! Everything is organized, easy to read, and you can even filter the results!

   Happy Valentines Day, and thank you for the gift.

   ~Caleb

7. Sylvia Says:
   February 14th, 2007 at 9:51 am

   Guys, all I can say is thank you!!! You’ve done a wonderful job with this and I’m so glad that you’ve put this resource together for us.

   Happy St. Valentine’s Day,
   Sylvia

8. Bethany S. Says:
   February 14th, 2007 at 9:56 am

   Hooray! A hearty and sincere thank you to everyone who devoted precious hours of time and effor to this survey! This was a wonderful Valentine’s Day gift. I can’t wait to go through the rest of the survey. It looks awesome. And thanks also to all of the guys who have signed the petition as well. I really appreciate it!

9. James Says:
   February 14th, 2007 at 9:56 am

   Oh, I’m speechless. Alex and Brett, this makes my year! These results are going to change my life.

10. Jacqui Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 9:57 am

    Hurrah!! Thank you so very much, gentlemen! You’ve blessed us all immensely.

11. Annie P. Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:00 am

    Thank you so much to all the guys who participated in the survey, and especially to the survey team who stayed up all night for this! I was amazed at how many men signed the petition! That’s very encouraging.
    I pray that we as girls will be willing to make any changes that are needed to our wardrobes, and may God continue to change our hearts as well.
    May God continue to use this for His glory!
    Thank you so much, Alex and Brett, and the survey team! You’ve done a wonderful, God-honoring job!

    ~Annie P.~

12. Judith Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:01 am

    Thanks so much to all who worked so hard on this project! It is a very awesome gift!!!!

13. Bry Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:05 am

    This is wonderful! THANK-YOU!

    - Bry Freeman

14. Pieter Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:06 am

    Thank you God for the blessing which is the Harris twins’ Modesty Survey. Men of God in the past have done fantastic, heroic things - ending slavery, standing up to King George, fighting for freedom around the globe, writing the Constitution - but these survey results are worth more than all those other things put together. History will NOT forget you, Alex and Brett. All the wrongs of the world will no doubt be righted by these results - babies will live, speech will be free, religion will flourish.

    Just keep doing your thing, guys. I’m sure the girls will continue to think you’re hot and the conference invitations will pour in so that people can gather to hear the wisdom pour forth from the mouths of two fairly average 18-year-olds.

15. Vevy Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:07 am

    Thank you guys so much!

16. Caleb Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:09 am

    Guys, you know it’s good when the server can’t allow any more connections. Ha!

17. Elise Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:11 am

    Wow! Thank you so much for this wonderful gift!

    I must say, I had no idea that guys really thought these things, thank you for opening my eyes to the truth.

    When I opened the modesty survey and saw the petition and how many guys had signed it I started to tear up, how amazing. Words can’t express my feelings…thanks.

    In Christ,
    Elise

18. Sarah H Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:14 am

    I discovered this website a couple of weeks ago by mistake and have been so encouraged by it. To all of you guys who made this modesty survey a reality–thank you sooo much! I don’t know if you’ll ever really know how much it means to some of us girls who really want to be careful in our dress, but get confused on some issues. I don’t have any brothers, so it’s hard to imagine how most teen guys think, and of course, I’d be too embarrassed to ask any guys I know about how they think of my dress. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. May God bless each one of you!

19. Shannon Moeller Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:16 am

    Much thanks to Brett and Alex for hosting this survey, and to the entire Survey team that put so much hard work and effort into building the survey system and compiling the results. May God be praised and his people blessed.

20. Nicole Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:26 am

    FANTASTIC!!!! Thanks so much everybody for all your hard work. This is a real blessing. I haven’t finished reading the results yet but from what I’ve seen already, I am encouraged to continue dressing modestly, bolstered by the opinions of 1600+ brothers in Christ. THANK YOU!

21. Elizabeth B Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:41 am

    thank you thank you thank you thank you thankyou!!!!!!!!!
    Because of all the traffic, I may need to wait till I finish my school work to see the results!!
    thank you again!
    Praise God
    Elizabeth

22. Mary Beth Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:56 am

    Yay!! This is exciting. I just looked through a few of the results (I had to stop, because it said something about too many connections, or something…wouldn’t load properly). The survey has really exceeded my expectations. Reading through some of the text responses, the guys seemed to have such respect for girls. I’d been looking forward to this, but it’s even better than I thought it would be. I am going to say GREAT JOB, to everybody who’s worked on this and put effort into it. That includes all the guys who answered the survey. I really, really appreciate the respectful attitude that seems to be purveyed in what I’ve seen of the survey so far.

23. Natasha Victoria Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 11:17 am

    Oh my gosh, I’m currently looking through the results (since its a bit slow, I am multitasking :0) and this is amazing. I knew it was going to be great, but wow! Its awesome.

    Its so consice, clear, and organized. I can easily tell all the effort that everyone put into it! I am so thankful for all you guys, Alex and Brett, and all the guys that answered the questions.

    I will definitly tell the girls in my youth group about this, and will put the add on my blog.

24. Erin Koller Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 11:28 am

    Thank-you gentlemen for putting this together.

    Thank-you girls of asking the questions.

    Thank-you guys for giving us the answers

    Many Blessings,
    Erin

25. Lydia B. Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 12:16 pm

    Hooray!!!!! It’s wonderful guys. Thanks soooo much. I wish I could stay on all day and read the whole thing at once!!!

26. Britta Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 12:16 pm

    Yay!

    I have been like counting the days until it was going to be up!

    I have already posted about it. And I am going to put one of those adds on my blog as well.

    Wha, I sure can tell lotsa people are on it - its really slow!

    In Christ,

    Britta

27. Kristin Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 12:18 pm

    I have to add my heartfelt thank you!!! The written answers have been incredibly encouraging to read. Thanks guys for being honest, yet humble, in the filling out of this survey. I deeply appreciate your efforts to help and encourage us girls to be modest outwardly as well as inwardly. Thanks!!

28. Anna Lofgren Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 12:22 pm

    Thank you so much for doing this - even staying up all night so that it could get done! I haven’t seen it all yet, for there’s quite a bit of traffic on the site right now. I wonder why…

    It’s such a blessing! Thanks to all of the guys who participated in this; I, too, was amazed at the number of signatures on the petition.

    To God be the glory!

29. Carly Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 12:34 pm

    Thank you so much everybody who has worked on and contributed to this survey!

    Reading what you all wrote brought tears to my eyes (and I don’t cry often). Knowing there are guys that really respect girls who desire to be modest is so encouraging! You have made me deeply want to continue dressing and acting in modest ways.

    I’m in awe that 1,600+ of you took the time to express your thoughts. Thanks again.

    Your sister in Christ,
    Carly

30. Charlee Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 12:42 pm

    The results aren’t coming up for me. The page is messed up. Any one else with this problem or on how I can fix it?

31. Emmy Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 12:42 pm

    This is absolutely phenominal… thank you so much to everyone who participated and put this together! I’m taking notes as I go through. This is such a fantastic resource that I was almost in tears as I read through the faithful comments that these guys left to help us girls. Thank you thank you thank you!

32. Aimee Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 12:43 pm

    Thank you gentlemen. So much for putting time and thought into this, in order to give us ways we can help you. When I started reading the responses to the very first statements…I started crying, it’s so amazing to read what you [guys] have said from your hearts. Thank God for the wonderful, godly men who have contributed to this excellent ministry!!
    Thanks again!

33. Charlee Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 12:45 pm

    Well now I see that there was an overload, so now I guess I’ll have to wait… haha. Patience is a virtue right? :-/

34. LML Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 12:46 pm

    Wow, this is so great, I’m tearing up also (Mom says it’s a girl thing). It is just so neat to know that we have so many fellow believers that really do care…
    *Sniffle*

35. Caitlin B. Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    Wow. What an eye opener. Some things I never thought of turned out being a real temptation for guys; other things I was paranoid about the majority of the guys dissmissed. Very insightful.

    Reading the guys responses to the questions in “General/Other” brought me to tears; Guys DO notice when we try, and they respect us for it. I mainly want to glorify God and get HIS attention, but how encouraging to hear that the guys respect and admire our show of character when we try. Thank you for the honest insight; I hope we - the girls - can now better serve you, for the the glory of God.

    Cait B.

36. Tai Sophia Polczynski Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 1:28 pm

    Wow!
    I just want to thank all of you guys for doing this - especially those of you who put thought behind your text answers. The numbers are good to know, but to see what you guys are REALLY thinking about a certain subject is very helpful and enlightening!

    I can’t wait to read the rest once the servers are up and running again. I figured something like this might happen, though - it’s just SO POPULAR!
    

    ~Lady Tai

37. Michelle Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 1:37 pm

    I think this was a good idea to do. A TON of girls at my church are totally trashy and even though I’ve never dressed immodestly, I felt out of place, lol. So at least I don’t feel like I’m the only girl that has her head on her shoulders anymore, seeing that other girls care about themselves as well~

38. Kate Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 2:15 pm

    Thanks Modesty Survey Team!!! This is absoluetly wonderful!! I am so impressed by the thoughtful text responses, and the clear way that the guys worded their answers! Thanks again, and we will *try* to be patient for the servers to come back up!!

39. KatieH Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 2:29 pm

    WOW GUYS! You have gone above and beyond the call of duty… God Bless You (and I can’t wait until the survey is back up again… I’ve been trying to access it all afternoon!!!) : )

40. KatieH Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 2:30 pm

    Wow God is going to bless you guys for your obedience!!! I can’t wait to read the survey when it is back up!!! : )

41. Irene L. Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 2:34 pm

    FYI, the blog entry says the survey is back up again on a test run, but when I click the link it still says it is down…

    Can’t wait to read it when it’s back up!

42. Alex Jordan Harris Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 2:41 pm

    Try reloading the page, Irene. It should work.

43. Amanda Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 3:19 pm

    Thank you Christian gentlemen!!!! This is awesome!!!

44. Elizabeth B Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 3:35 pm

    I have been looking at it a lot. I really love the way you did this! It’s cool how you can filter the results, but one suggestion is that you can filter the comments.
    anyway, I was on here and my little (4 yo) brother was next to me. He was annoyed because I was on the survey a lot. Here is what he said: “Please, can’t you stop that girl stuff?”
    it was so funny
    Thank you again
    Elizabeth
    Note: I was going to leave this comment a while ago, but then the site wouldn’t load! Praise God for all the people looking at it!
    One last thing: how can I get one of those banner ads for the ‘good person test’

45. Nella Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 4:15 pm

    Thank you so much to everyone who made this possible!! A+ guys!!

46. Ella G. Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 4:17 pm

    Wow! I have only been coming to the Rebelution for a few weeks, but the modesty survey had be very intrigued. I plan on leading a modesty bible study, and I now intend to supplement with this!!

    Anyway, I want to say to all of those who participated and put it together, “Thank you!” I look forward to going over the results in greater detail and putting modesty even more into practice. May the Lord bring you all glory as you seek to follow His example “in speech, in love, in life, in faith, and in purity.”

    Your Sister in Christ,
    Ella Gardner

47. kit-kat Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 4:41 pm

    So, how will you women that read this change how you dress?? How has this been an asset to your lives?

48. Katrina Martin Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 4:48 pm

    WOW!!! This is fantastic. Would you believe I’ve already read most of the answers? I tried to get it up earlier and it was overloaded–definitely a good sign. Now I’ve gone through and been thrilled with the results–especially to see that so many guys, even younger teens, really care about this. I’ve been really blessed by this.

    By the way, I love how so many of you made your responses funny! It was a way of telling us what we need to hear and doing it in a lighthearted way.

    Thank you so much!

49. AJM Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 5:19 pm

    Thank You! I really have no other words. I now have gotten rid of some of my clothes and bought new ones b/c from what you have said they were stumbling blocks and ultimatly not honoring Christ.

    God Bless you All!

50. Liz W Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 5:35 pm

    Thank you so much, truely amazing!!! I really enjoy reading through all of the comments that you guys wrote out, they are especially helpful. Thank you for helping us to help you in the way we dress and act!

    -Liz Wenger-

51. Angie I. Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 5:53 pm

    To all the fellows who did the survey:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you! It really touched my heart to know that there are so many guys out there who care enough about us girls to participate in this survey. I sometimes feel that there are no godly young men who care about modesty, and I have been greatly encouraged by this. May God bless you!

    Angie

52. Ellie Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 5:59 pm

    Wow, wow, wow! I have only read the results from the first five topics, but it’s been a real eye-opener. This is better than any gift I have ever received. Thank you Alex and Brett and the whole team for putting this on, and to all the guys who made it possible.

    -Ellie

53. Keeli Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 6:00 pm

    Wow. You guys have NO idea how eye-opening this is for us girls! I mean, the culture tells us a TOTALLY different story. I almost cried as I read the results. Thank you, dear brothers in Jesus.

    In all honesty, it’s really hard to be modest nowadays. As in REALLY hard. But this has encouraged me to do my best. You do notice when we try to dress in a God-honoring way. And so does Jesus!

    Thank you again!

    Keeli

54. Anna Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 6:00 pm

    What a wonderful Valentine’s Day gift! Thank you to all the people who participiated. I’ve looked through most of it. Some of the answers fit with my feelings, and some were rather unexpected. This will definitely be a good resource.

55. Moe Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 6:04 pm

    This was very helpful to read through. Over the years, I’ve heard countless “modestly talks” and was frankly getting very sick of them, so I was surprised to actually learn a few new things. I discovered several styles that I never would have dreamed would be a problem actually scored remarkably high as being potential stumbling blocks. I was shocked.

    Since I’m single this Valentine’s Day, I’ve decided to use the money I might have used on a Valentine to replace a few articles of clothing in my closet. I don’t enjoy spending long amounts of time shopping, actaully, I dislike shopping on a whole, but this is my Valentine’s Day gift to my brothers in Christ.

    ~Kelsey

56. Miriam Hart Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 6:11 pm

    Thank you so much, guys! This has been wonderful. I tremendously enjoyed reading the results!

57. Steph Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 6:35 pm

    my fellow reblutions;
    when I first stumbled upon this off of my search engine, I was very much drawn into the wonderful and encouraging idea of creating a modest survey, and was one of the many to check on this blog in hopes of seeing the results. Putting it up on valentines day was a wonderful idea, really - it was!
    After reading the entire survey through, my once enthusiastic outlook was somewhat dampened, as I realized how much emphasis the male population stores in the female body.
    To read that necklaces draw to much attention to my neck, and that the many shrugs I own are no longer just cute accessories to a modest t-shirt, rather makes me feel like a prostitute when I have tried to hard to be a Christian girl who remains modest without abandoning fashion. And, to find that my collarbone is also a stumbling block — well, now that’s just plain flattery *winks*
    In reading the survey I realized that there were- correct me if I’m wrong - over one hundred questions, and that guys must have spent - correct me again- half an hour to an hour analyzing this stuff, recalling images they perhaps never were prompted before to take note of. I can only say that on my part, when I introduced the survey to my younger brother of nearly seventeen, although he agreed on the point of cleavage and skin -tight jeans and relevant examples, when it came to the points of high heeled shoes, black boots, and leggings, his comments were sprinkled with mirth. At the end, he turned to me and said, ‘you know - I’ve never even thought of a lot of these things; I never take notice of what girls wear. I mean, yea, sure, sometimes I look at a girl and say ‘that looks very attractive on her’, but that’s different than considering them a stumbling block’. — what a gentleman. You see, when my brother looks at a girl, he does so for the right reasons - and if he sees a girl who is wearing a two-piece bathing suit or bikini, he isn’t interested enough to keep his gaze.
    In this survey, many of the comments were just - in my opinion cleavage and tight attire are worn for the wrong reasons and are immodest, and underwear showing in any circumstance is the height of vulgarity. But, when girls try to dress modestly, as I do - and are still called by the opposites a ’stumbling block’- I think we have to look seriously at the guys heart attitude and motives. After all, if they stare hard enough at the area where we wear underwear, they are bound to spot a line here or there - no lingerie is invisible. And if they imagine what is underneath a full skirt - which is in my opinion a fashionable way to be modest (for example, look
    http://www.anthropologie.com/jump.jsp?itemID=12366&itemType=PRODUCT&iSubCat=322&iMainCat=314) - then, of course it could be a stumbling block. Oh, for any guys who answered ‘yes’ on the full skirt question, I recommend you don’t click on that link - don’t want any imagery popping into your head.
    For these reasons I will not be posting these results on my site, and if I may make a suggestion, it would be perhaps a good idea to do a series on purity for guys, training them to think in line with my brother; whom I had to brag about just one last time.
    In closing, I do recognize that, as you stated, these are not intended to be strict, rigid rules, and my feelings perhaps are singular. I am still, however, discouraged by the results I read - and it made me perhaps be more self-conscious than I was previously, and can’t help feeling you guys have taken the fun our of donning a pair of cute heels, or wearing the special set of long - length pearls Mom bought me last Easter. Now, I will be thinking ‘what is he thinking’ and ‘ oh no, I want to hide’.
    I want to thank you so much for the time and effort you guys spent in creating this survey, sifting through the questions, and for posting it on Valentines day - what a wonderful idea.
    I hope to perhaps discuss this further, and thank you for allowing me to post my thoughts.

    Steph(y)

58. Christine Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 6:36 pm

    Wow! Thank you guys so much!

59. Rachel Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 6:39 pm

    awesome! thanks so much to all of the guys who were a part of this..

60. W. W. Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 6:52 pm

    Excellent work fellows. It’s just statistical interest to me, though; you girls who think it’s so awesome, start using it!

61. Steph Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 6:59 pm

    Oh! please please allow me to make a correction, in re-reading you survey, you all said that full skirts were not a stumbling block! forgive this injustice - it was unintentional, and proves how out of it I am!

62. Jeannie Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 7:04 pm

    I want to say a heartfelt thank you to all my brothers in Christ who DO appreciate those of us who try to dress modestly. It is not easy, both because of our sinful hearts (we can want to be lusted after as much as you are tempted to lust after us!), but also because just FINDING modest-yet-nice-looking clothes in our culture is next to impossible. I would still do it even if you did’t appreciate it, because ultimately I’m trying to honor God…but it is so encouraging to hear that it makes a difference.

    It’s also nice to hear that you guys find modest girls attractive. It’s hard to be a girl in our culture, where looks and body image are so emphasized. Sometimes we modest girls feel unattractive. Thanks for telling us that’s a lie from the world!

    And thanks so much for giving me a Valentine’s gift!!!!!

63. Stephanie Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 7:31 pm

    AWESOME! Thank you!

64. Rosa Dei Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 7:32 pm

    I know tons of girls have already said it, but thank you! This is an amazing amount of information, and it’s been so encouraging to me to read what you guys think about modest girls. Happy Valentine’s Day!

65. Tara Marie Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 7:42 pm

    All I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you a million times over! This survey cleared up a lot for me and has given me many things to ponder and evaluate. As an unfortuante girl without brothers, I loved being able to read the opinions and thoughts from guys.
    And to all the guys who participated in the survey, thank you so much for your honesty! I truly appreciate the time you took to help us out.
    Thank you again to everyone who worked so hard on this survey; its is awesome and I think it will help many, many girls.
    God bless, and happy Valentine’s Day!

66. Anna Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 7:42 pm

    Steph,
    Thanks for your thoughtful comment! Please keep in mind that the responses are just tallies, and opinions on everything vary among Christian guys. For instance, in the part about messages on shirts, the largest vote was that they drew too much attention to the bust. I’ve met one Christian guy who prefers shirts without messages, but every other Christian guy I know has no problem. If I think that one guy’s going to be around, I’ll pick my shirt carefully, but otherwise I don’t worry too much about it.
    Please, ask the Christian guys around you for feedback. It’s good that you asked your brother. The people around you are the ones who you need to be thinking most about (since they’re the ones who will see you), and their responses will quite likely differ from some of the points on the survey. The survey is a general guide, not an absolute one; it was taken from a sampling of guys, not all of them. Reactions to clothes differ, and if the people around you don’t have a problem with high heels (I can’t think of anyone I know who does; they just think they look painful) or a shrug, by all means go ahead.

67. Steph Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 7:59 pm

    Anna :
    Thank you so much for your response, and for the reminder once again that the survey tallies the guys answers.
    what bothers me is in reading the comments, I realized how much guys analyzed us - talking about busts in relation to overalls, and shrugs and skirts, and nylons - and I think that while we need to be careful of what we wear, guys need to be in charge of their minds. people say guys are so visual - well, just as guys don’t appreciate immodest girls, girls aren’t attractive to visual guys. Jane Austen’s perfect gentlement Mr. Darcy never once noticed her bust size; and Charlotte Bronte’s Mr. Rochester wasn’t concerned with it either. - Gentlemen are not thos who analyze you on you bust size, but those who occupy their minds with mor worthwhile endeavors.
    Hence, I once again mention my brother
    Steph(y)

68. Brett Harris Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 8:05 pm

    Dear Steph,

    Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts regarding The Modesty Survey. Alex and I are very sorry that you were disappointed, but most importantly, we believe that you may be wrongly disappointed.

    From what you said in your comment it seems that you may have mistakenly assumed that the statements that compose The Modesty Survey are the actual survey results. Actually, the statements are the survey’s “questions” that were designed to elicit an agreement or disagreement on the part of the participants.

    For example, the statement, “Necklaces draw too much attention to the neck,” prompted disagreement from the majority men who took the survey, to a tune of 75%. Over 18% of guys were Neutral on this question, which means that only 7% of guys think necklaces are a problem. These percentages (along with the text responses explaining them) are the survey results. The statement is just one of the survey questions.

    Does that make sense? If you feel you misunderstood the presentation of the survey, please take the time to go back and read through it again—clicking on each statement to see how guys responded to it. I think you will be much more encouraged this time.

    In Christ Alone,
    Brett Harris

69. Aimee Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 8:06 pm

    Thank You!!
    If you [girls] have not read the “Open Questions” yet….I strongly recommend it. Just a moment ago, I was weeping from all the heartfelt “Thank you”s and pleading…These are some amazing guys. I just read SOME of the responses, and I was blown away!! This is right were I was getting discouraged, thinking, “Why does it matter? They don’t even notice.”
    Now seeing my error, I praise God for timing. These guys are talking about how Christ loves us for us. And how He will send us the right man, for a future husband…If we will only wait on His timing. It means SO much to me, how humble these men are…and how sincere, too. I’m still teary…I cannot begin to tell how much this means to me!!
    Brett, Alex, Thank you, so much…God is doing something incomprehensible through you!!
    Thanks!!
    Sis in Christ!
    Aimee B.

70. Steph Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 8:07 pm

    as I said in the previous statement, I did follow the directions, and am still disheartened that there isn’t a Mr. Darcy out there; perhaps those days are gone….
    But, I appreciate your comment very much, and thanks for the enouraging words,
    Steph(y)

71. Steph Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 8:08 pm

    lol– that comment has not yet been moderated , so you haven’t seen it

72. Ellie Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 8:39 pm

    I just finished reading the rest of the survey. Reading the answers to the Open Questions really encouraged me. It made me realize that guys really do want me to dress modestly. I have learned that it is easier for guys to lust, and we need to do them the favor (and give them the respect) to dress in modest way that does not attract the wrong kind of attention. Again, I can’t thank you enough. And thank you brothers, for caring.

    In Christ,
    Ellie

73. Ellie Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 8:41 pm

    Forgot one thing. The petition is amazing! I can’t believe all those names. How encouraging.

    E

74. Ellie Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 8:47 pm

    Hi again! (I need to remember to comment everything once! I’ll submit a comment and then remember one more thing I want to say.) Are you going to continue to post the rest of the article written by Shannon Mueller? I was really interested in it, and just wondered if you were waiting until the survey results were running before the rest is posted.

75. Bess Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 8:47 pm

    My most heartfelt thanks to all of the men who made such a tremendous effort to give us this gift! I am blown away. I believe this is one of the most precious Valentines gifts that I have ever recieved. It is very encouraging to know that there are so many strong men of God that uphold modesty and chastity and virtue!

    Well done! Thank you, and God bless everyone who contributed to this excellent project, and everyone who is privileged to partake of it.

    Your sister in Christ,
    Bess B.

76. Grace M. Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 9:03 pm

    THANK YOU! I will put more thoughts up later, when I am thinking a little more clearly! I really needed something to look forward to this Valentine’s DAY.

77. Joshua R Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 9:09 pm

    Amazing Job Survey Team!
    The interface is awesome and so incredible slick. (just wondering did you guys use AJAX?)

    I was imagining something with a lot less extras and I must say that I am throughly amazed at what ya’ll have pulled off. The entire thing is very well done and speaks of passion for the subject and dedication to present it well and understandably. Thank you for all of you hard work and perseverance.

    May God bless your efforts and the Survey as it helps bring people closer to God in their walk.

    Your Brother In Christ,
    Joshua Russell

78. Holly Abbe Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:19 pm

    Thank you so much to the team and the Alex and Brett for putting this all together. I haven’t gotten to read it all yet but the little I have has been really insightful. I am amazed at the organization and technical know how that you all brought to this. Thanks for even thinking of things like the filter by age and public/homeschool. It is phenomonal!
    ~Holly

79. Sara Jean Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:28 pm

    This is so cool! I don’t have any brothers, so this was encouraging to me that I’m doing the right thing as far as dress goes, but I was also interested that there are some things I’m doing that could be distracting and I didn’t even realize it.
    May God richly bless you!
    PS. (Just a note to Steph(y): It’s interesting that you mentioned two male “heroes” in books that were written by women, perhaps like me it didn’t occur to them to write these things and maybe it was part of the culture of those writers not to talk about what they were really thinking, especially when it isn’t especially “good”.).

80. Wenslyn Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:37 pm

    Unbelievable!

    Thank you Alex, Brett, and everyone else who invested their efforts in organizing the jungle of answers and information. The mixture of encouragement and admonishment found in these answers is hitting me even now. I believe God will use this survey to His glory. Guys and girls alike will be greatly helped.

    Thanks!

81. Marissa Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 10:52 pm

    Just an observation, Steph… Mr. Darcy is a fictional character created by a woman. He was a gentleman, sure, (that’s why he’s the hero!) but the story and its characters are from a woman’s point of view, and, therefore, can’t really be used to define reality.

    Ah, I notice someone else has already mentioned this…

82. Danielle Says:
    February 14th, 2007 at 11:24 pm

    It did my heart good to read the modesty survey results. I had almost begun to think there were no real men who valued purity over physical perfection.

83. Christina Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 12:13 am

    Thank you, everyone! The results are way beyond anything I ever expected. I was very encouraged as I read the responses. Thanks for taking the time and for being open and honest about this because it will help. May each of us dress and conduct ourselves in a way that is pleasing and honoring to the Lord. Some of the responses brought tears to my eyes…even though modest dress is ultimately before the Lord, it is nice to know that other people appreciate it, too. So guys, I understand that it may be hard to say thank you in person…but thanks for communicating your appreciation via the survey.

84. Christina Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 12:20 am

    One other things…thanks for posting that petition. Wow - it was so encouraging to see all of those names!

85. Katrina Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 1:31 am

    Thank you so much for this! It answered some questions that I had but was afraid to ask! Thank you!
    ~Katrina

86. Christin A. Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 2:44 am

    Happy Hearts’ Day!

    Thank you very much Godly Men-In-Training.
    Truly your labor for the Modesty Survey is not in vain. May the Lord reward you for your commendable Christian service.

    I am very much excited to share the results with my friends. Thank you once again. ^_^

87. David Daniel Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 2:59 am

    Great job on displaying those results so professionally!
    I’ve got a small request though. It would be nice for those of us guys who participated in the survey to be reminded of what we answered. Could make it possible to log in like we did when answering the questions so that our own response is displayed first? Thanks.
    It would also be good if there were at least one strongly agree, one neutral and one strongly disagree text responses chosen for each question. Sometimes you have to click ‘read more text responses’ to get someone with a different point of view!
    As for the results, so far they haven’t surprised me too much. But then, I am male.

88. Charis Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 3:05 am

    Thank You!

    Knowing what clothes we wear and things we do that make you, guys, stumble is a big help to us in helping you with your battles.

    There were some clothes or manner of dressing that I thought don’t really matter or cause guys to stumble, but I just learned from this survey that they do distract, and moreover, put guys in their battlefields.

    With the insights I had from the Modesty Survey, I am enbled to dress in a God-glorifying way.

    To God be the glory!

89. Marissa G Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 4:30 am

    Sisters in Christ, we men in society have miserably failed at appreciating true womanhood. On behalf of every man out there who has painted a distorted picture in your life of what a real woman is, especially along the lines of modesty, I apologize deeply. There are many Godly men out there, as I’m sure this survey will prove, that are dying to give you their utmost respect when you choose to follow God’s leading in this area of modesty in your life. We back you up all the way and want to do anything we can to help you. And we ask that you do all you can to help us as we struggle through this world of sin together.

    Whoever wrote that, thank you!!! With the guys I know, lately I have been utterly despairing in the hope of finding a Godly, wonderful husband in the future. Thank you so much, Alex and Brett, for doing the Modesty Survey. I love the results, and I learned a lot of things that I didn’t know could be looked at in a bad way before. From the results, most of my clothes and the things that I do are considered ‘modest’, but there’s a few things that I need to correct. Thank you so much, and may God bless you in your wonderful ministry.

    Your Sister in Christ,
    Marissa

90. Janel Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 6:53 am

    Thank you so much guys. This is so great and so helpful.

91. Nabeth Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 7:03 am

    I don’t have anything profound to say, but thanks guys, a million times =) I am telling my friends about it. God Bless You!
    Your sister in Christ,
    Naomi Elizabeth

92. David Boskovic Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 7:06 am

    Hey Joshua,

    Yep, we did use AJAX for parts of the survey.

93. Carley Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 7:16 am

    Like you all need another voice saying “thank you”…but here it is anyway.

    Of course to Alex and Brett, Katrina, and David–but also all the other people who aren’t going to get specifically mentioned. You are thanked.

    I’d just like to add that the text responses are almost more influential than the statistics. Now we just need a PFD or SOMETHING that we can print up to give to people who aren’t going to get to see this…

94. Grace Ellen Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 8:11 am

    This is great! Thank you to all who participated, this will be very helpful. May I copy the results into a document on my computer for fast reference? I’m hoping to join the fashion design industry and this kind of information would be very helpful for me when I’m trying to design modest clothing.

95. Benjamin Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 8:18 am

    Steph, I don’t claim to be a hero like Mr. Darcy… But I think the whole goal of modesty is to draw a man’s attention to a women’s character instead of her appearance, and I can say that I personally don’t “analyze” a women’s physical appearance when she is dressed modestly. When a woman is dressed immodestly, it naturally draws attention to her physical appearance, and I think even a hero has to make the choice not to dwell on her appearance.

96. Steph Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 9:21 am

    ‘good..meditate on these things’
    I do not think that the term good changes from season to season, or from one century to another - in fact, I think that the openess of discussion about private matters has been a great drawback on society. Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte created the perfect gentlemen in novels;and my guess is they did it because they were hard pressed to find one in their own society. Oh! how I relate to this.
    As this will be my last comment on this topic; allow me to say this -the responses to this survey from many girls have been eager, enthused, and humble in assuming that any visual a guy recieves is entirely our fault ; when, in reading the survey, I was struck with the complete opposite. No one but themselves control their thinking, and it reaches the point on being perverse when a guy is thinking during a wedding ceremony only of the activity which will go on behind closed doors that night - or when a guy looks at a modest v neck and casts his eyes immediatly on what is below it. Many of these answers proved to me that guys nowadays are increasingly becoming more visual, and well, how very sad it is.
    Many of the girls on this sight have been absolutely sweet in calling the responders to the survey ‘gentlemen’ - however, not attach this name to many of the responses I witnessed. Many of the answers in my view showed the hearts and attitudes of a modern day guy.
    In closing, we girls should all dress with one goal in mind; Christ, whom is the sould person we wish to please. With this in mind, modesty will never be a problem.
    Thank you so much again, and I would to read any responses,
    Steph(y)

97. Steph Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 9:28 am

    oh…the bible verse at the beginning, Phil 4:8 - whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report…..meditate on these things.

    sorry, late night last night and busy day today

98. Shannon Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 9:52 am

    Well done!

    As a MOTHER of a 12 year old girl and 16 year old boy I have found this absolutely fascinating. You all have done a wonderful job with this may God be glorified in the results.

    This survey has prompted many conversations between my children and me, especially my daughter. She is by nature a modest child, and I do not have to work too hard to steer her in the “right” direction. She wrote a paper yesterday for Bible study and said she would rather be dressed modestly and thought strange than look like the world. Does a mother’s heart good! Now lets see what happens in about 3-5 years.

    My 16 year old son thought much in line with the other young men and adult men who answered the survey. Black boots for instance are just black boots. I praise God that he does indeed see things like this and he too does agree with the idea of necklaces and other accessories. They are fine unless they should follow a plunging neck line.

    Steph(y) men like Mr. Darcy and your brother or even my son are not the norm. Appreciate that there are so many young men striving for this kind of ideal in a pronofied society, where women have been taught that it is okay to flaunt it if you got it–even if you do not. I am with you this gave me much to think about as well as my daughter. This kind of honesty is rare, rejoice that they were willing to be so open about their feelings, and consider the things they said and since you think so highly of your brother and his opinion make sure you seek it in this area.

    I would like to say also how much I appreciated the group of 40-49 that took the time to respond. I am 37 being modest is much more important to me now than it was say 20 years ago, and not because I am the mother of 5, but because of the work of Christ for me and in me that has made all the difference.

    I am looking forward to reading the open responses, but I will probably wait until the newness has wore off–it just will not load.

    One last thought, I found this site from a link on Ladies Against Feminism (LAF) and I poke in weekly at least. I commend Alex and Bret for leading against the popular culture and making a stand for godliness and excellence in this generation. Your generation, that being of my children also, can do great things if you continue to live for our God and Savior.

    Thanks
    Mrs. Schwab

99. Brett Harris Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 9:57 am

    Steph: You have some good thoughts. My concern is that you seem so offended by the battle with the flesh undertaken by all Christian men. It can be overwhelming to learn the extent of men’s struggles, especially since it is so different from the way women think. But I would encourage you to remember that the young men taking this survey are strong Christian guys, the best of the pure, and they are fighting with all their hearts to defeat this sin. They are not blaming the women, they are asking for help. And if they have this struggle, that means 99% of men do.

    My concern for you, Steph, is that your idealism will be crushed eventually by someone close to you, and you won’t be able to recover. This survey is an excellent glimpse into the struggles even Christian men face. To be perfectly blunt, many of the women who are crushed by the discovery that their Christian husband is looking at pornography are the ones who deny that such a thing were even possible. Not that it is their fault or responsibility, but their support and understanding can make a huge difference. And the men who fall that way are often the ones who refuse to be humble and honest about their strugges—the way these 1,600 men have been. Honesty is always the first step in dealing with sin.

    I hope you can see my concern in writing this. I don’t mean to condemn you! But there are millions (if not billions) of non-Christian men in the world who see nothing wrong with undressing you in their minds, and you are disgusted with the men who hate doing that, and want your help.

100. Kristy Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 10:14 am

     The biggest problem I had with the survey was this: In the conservative church where I grew up, the message we girls were given was that if we knew for a fact that something we wore caused a guy to stumble, the only correct response was to not wear that item again. One of the comments on this site a couple of weeks ago was that girls would now be held accountable for the things that were said in this survey — in other words, maybe we had no idea that something was a problem for guys before, but now we do, so it’s wrong for us to wear that thing now. But where do we draw the line? For example, 11.8% of the guys surveyed said that it was wrong for a girl’s calf to show. 14.5% said nude stockings were a stumbling block. Yes, they were definitely in the minority, and in both of those, the majority were either neutral or strongly disagreed with those statements. But the fact remains that greater than one in ten guys surveyed has a problem with each of those things. In fact, in reading through the survey, I don’t think I own a stitch of clothing that someone, somewhere, doesn’t have a problem with. Am I now “accountable” to throw away all things that cause some guy I’ve never even met to stumble? At what percentage point do we say, “Hey, this is a problem, I should stop wearing it” and at what point do we say “Well, that’s just a few guys, they can turn their eyes away.”

101. PhoebeJoy Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 10:20 am

     Thank you so much for the survey! I am hoping to tell all my youth group about it, because though immodesty is not extreme in our church, it does exist.

     I think that overall, the results are very balanced. Yeah, there are a few guys who say high heels are a stumbling block, but the majority do not. There are good comments modifying their opinions, such as pointing out that high heels with a short skirt are, of course a problem, but wouldn’t be under modest circumstances! Steph, please don’t feel that just because there are a few guys who think something is a stumbling block, that you have to get all irritated about it. Take the survey with a grain of salt.

     And Survey team, thank you for all the effort made to sort through the comments. I really like this comment, about high heels. “They might be a stumbling block to girls… I don’t see how they walk in those things!”

     In questions that I have had before, I received good insights. For example, I am a ’smaller’ girl on top, and so it was interesting to hear that to a certain extent, a smaller girl should be just as modest as a ‘larger’ one, but that, on the other hand, she doesn’t have to worry as much. It makes sense.

     Thank you again!

102. Lisa Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 10:24 am

     Wow. That was an eye-opener! Thanks so much to everyone who made this possible:o) Thank you very much all of you guys who signed the petition, showed your apprecition for girls who try to dress modestly, and who bluntly and honestly shared their struggle.
     Girls think so differently it is very hard to even catch a glimpse of what guys struggle with, but this survey gave us that glimpse :o)
     This is so helpful, I really appreciate your time and effort that was put into making this so detailed and clear! Thanks ;o)

103. Colleen Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 10:42 am

     Wow! The results are amazing. As a 30 year old wife and mother I was suprised by some of the survey responses but most were what I expected. Young ladies if you are bothered that “good Christian” young men notice “too much” of the female form right now you will be thankful later. When your husband is completely captivated by the form you kept hidden just for him that is the most romantic thing in the world. This “noticing” has it’s place and the guys shouldn’t looked down upon for being wired the way God made them.

104. Valerie Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 10:51 am

     Wow! The results were above and beyond what I expected. Thank you to all the men who took this survey - I really appreciate your opening your hearts for us a little and showing us what our clothing (or lack thereof) is doing to you. It makes me a little sad to think of the struggle and frustration and, probably, grief that you have to suffer because of us. I for one will be going through my wardrobe and weeding out the things I shouldn’t be wearing. And ladies - please, let’s all do our best to help our men with this gigantic battle that rages in their minds and hearts. They need it so!

     Valerie

105. Margaret Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 10:54 am

     I am frankly surprised at the amount of excitement over the modesty survey results. I found that the results were generally what I expected: skimpy bathing suits, underwear showing, very short skirts, etc. are immodest. Questions I was surprised to find on the survey (eg. are necklaces immodest?) did not turn out to be a huge concern among men. I think Steph(y) mentioned something along the lines that the detail in the survey probably caused men to think more about this than they had before.

     Common sense when dressing is still the answer. (Its a scary thought when girls can’t figure out what is appropriate.)

106. Violet Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 11:26 am

     Thank you so much. I love the detailed and careful work you put into this! I got some good answers to my own questions about what not to do and wear, and even better, a burst of joy and hope that yes, I can be modest and lovely.

107. Alex Jordan Harris Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 11:42 am

     Carley: In the top right corner of each of the results, there is an icon of a printer. You can use that to print or (at least for Macs) make a PDF.

108. Rebecca Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 12:00 pm

     Thank you so much! It’s awesome for us girls to know that there are guys out there who notice when we dress modestly! It encourages me to know there are guys who want to marry a girl who isn’t showing off everything she’s got. The comments were great, especially the suggestions as to how we might do better. A big thank you to everybody who was involved with this!

109. India Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 12:07 pm

     THANK YOU SO MUCH. This will help change how I think about dressing modestly. I am amazed. I can’t thank you all enough for your time and effort for making this possibe. I’m going to email a copy of the results to all of my friends.

     India Psalm 121

110. AmandaO. Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 12:12 pm

     I would like to say once again that I am so pleased with the survey. What girl among us all has not at one point wondered what a guy is thinking? This is a chance to find out about clothes and modesty at least.

     It seems some people are looking at the survey and being insulted because they feel they are being blamed for a guy’s thoughts. It isn’t like that! It’s like looking at jewelry in a store. Sure you aren’t supposed to steal the jewelry, but the owners aren’t going to leave the valuable stuff out on the counter to tempt you.

     We (guys AND gals) have a mutual responsibilty to RESPECT each other. Girls need to respect that some clothes make a guy struggle and knowing that, we need to do our best to help them. This survey was taken by Christian guys who are trying so hard to respect us by keeping their thoughts, etc. pure; let’s make it a little bit easier on them by our choices in clothing.

     It is my honor to help you brothers! Thank you for this!

111. Belle Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 12:18 pm

     To all the brothers in the Lord who put so much time and thought into answering the survey, I wish I could thank you each personally!!! Modesty and the heart attitude behind it are very important to me as a christian girl. I want to honor the Lord with my dress, and obey scripture that teaches us to “adorn yourselves with modesty”…And just like any other christian who desires to please the Lord, but wonders sometimes if it is worth ALL THE TIME AND ENERGY, we need encouragement, and that is what I have come away with!!! to be honest, after hearing a little bit of the survey from my sisters who had read it, I sort of avoided the computer…I was a little nervous to read it, but, I knew it was going to be very helpful and encouraging…AND IT WAS JUST THAT!!!!! Your responses were humble, candid, grace-filled,poetic, funny, simple, and very very helpful. I am freshly reminded of how important and wonderful taking the time to look for modest clothing is!! I would also strongly encourage any girl struggling with a feeling of condemnation or discouragement, or self-righteousness toward the guys(who struggle in different areas than ourselves) in reading the survey, to ask the Lord to soften your heart to see what He might be putting His finger on in your life reguarding modesty. They put this together to be a thorough, helpful aid to learning how we, as sisters in the Lord, can better serve our brothers, fathers, friends, boyfriends, and how we may be better witnesses to the world who, likewise, DO NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE…not to discourage us and make us feel as if we might as well were a quilt over our heads. Thank you again! Belle

112. Holly Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 12:47 pm

     Thank you so much to all the Christian guys who helped put this together!
     I desire to be modest and glorify God…Now I can understand a little more about how I can help my brothers in Christ!

113. Laura Carroll Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 1:09 pm

     This is AMAZING!! So far I haven’t had to change my style of dress very much, but it is SO encouraging to hear that guys appreciate modesty! I love the text responses. Thank you everyone who had anything to do with the survey!!!

     ~Laura

114. Elsie D. Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 1:17 pm

     I totally agree with Margaret. What’s the big deal? Must have your heads in the sand if you didn’t know this stuff already, girls.

115. Lys Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 1:40 pm

     That scared me. I didn’t realize you were supposed to click on the statements. I thought the statements WERE the results!

     I was about ready to tell the guys of the world to poke their eyes out if they thought that a slit in the cuff of my blouse was a “stumbling block”, because obviously they needed medical help…

     Okay. Now I know, and I can read it better.

     I do have to say, though, that I doubt anything said here will change the way I dress. I believe myself to be very modest, and I try to keep my mindset that way. I refuse to be dictated to by a poll, as it is as much a guy’s problem to guard his own heart as it is mine to keep his eyes from wandering.

     I’ve done my part, now it’s time for him to do his.

     RE: Transparent sleeves-
     “If a man sees that your sleeves are transparent then they may check to see if any of the rest of our shirt is.” -Age 14

     Well, if it’s not, if it is covering, then I have done my part, and it’s the guy’s job to exert some self control and not try and see what he can oggle.

     Y’know, the bare feet question was interesting. Most guys had absolutely no problem, but I feel very… “free” barefooted. Not immodest, but different than if I’m shod. More open, I guess.

     RE: The Responsibility of Men in Modesty
     “A man’s responsibility is to: 1. Avert his eyes from that which might lead him to lust. 2. Avoid those places (whether physical or virtual) where seductive images abound. 3. Praise modesty wherever he finds it. 4. Demonstrate modesty in speech, in action, and in clothing. 5. Not to look down on those who are immodest, but to treat them with dignity. 6. Not to blame his stumbling on the immodesty of another. To do that would be to take the same line of reasoning as the rapist who says, “The way she was dressed, she was asking for it.”" -Age 28

     Thank you, sir. My thoughts exactly.

116. Sheila Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 2:02 pm

     Fantastic, Fantastic, Fantastic!!! It is so very enouraging! Thankyou!!! I thoroughly enjoy reading the text responses and being uplifted by the thought that there are actually guys out there that care enough about their sisters in Christ that they take time to notice and say ‘Thanks!’. I really appreciate all the effort that went into this.
     Sheila

     PS. Elsie and Margaret: Yes, girls should already know most of this, but that’s not the point. Maybe they don’t, or maybe it’s just so very encouraging to see young men helping young girls to glorify God in this way! That’s how I feel!!

117. AmandaO. Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 2:13 pm

     Elsie: It’s not that we didn’t know some of this already, but more that we are encouraged that there are guys out there who care if we choose to dress modestly. Yes to Sheila! I feel that way too.

118. Becky Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 2:24 pm

     Just wanted to add another sincere “thank you” to the tally above me!

     Even coming from a home that values modesty, some of the answers surprised me. When I was sharing my responses with my dad, he seemed amazed at my “naivety”. It’s helpful understanding what guys are thinking even about ‘little’ things, because the conclusions girls ‘logically’ arrive at seem to be rather far from the truth!

     Thanks again to you all for giving up valuable school, family, friends, and free time (if that word is even in your vocabularies!) to compile the survey…. and thank you to all of you who took it. We really do appreciate it. =)

119. Anna Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 2:44 pm

     Kristy,
     By no means do you have to throw out all those clothes! There will always be someone, somewhere who objects to what you’re wearing. But you can either please some of the people all of the time, or all of the people some of the time. If the minority includes a lot of the Christian guys you’re around, take that into account. If the people you know don’t have a problem, though, you’re probably fine. This isn’t a list of rules; opinions on things vary from guy to guy. Plus, the guys do have a big responsibility to try to guard themselves, and we can’t control their minds.
     Ask the Christian guys around you for feedback. They’re the ones who are going to see you most. The survey is guidelines, not absolutes. I haven’t found a single question where there weren’t answers in all five degrees.

120. Janel Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 3:09 pm

     Elsie, for me it wasn’t so much that I needed to be told every thing on the survey (although there were some things that I hadn’t really thought about) for me it was more about the encouragement that guys really do notice and appreciate modesty. That is something that we don’t hear very often. I think that it was so great that the guys encourage us this way.

121. Moriah Strickland Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 3:15 pm

     I just read the Modesty survey results. Wow! Thanks to everyone who contributed to the Survey! I truly appreciate it!

     A sister in Christ,
     Moriah Strickland (Galatians 2:20)

122. Jamie Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 3:15 pm

     I have to admit I was excited about this survey, but a little skeptical at the same time. I thought the results might be more extreme than they turned out to be (i.e. I thought there would be more guys who said girls shouldn’t wear anything but dresses/skirts–a standard that I don’t find workable).

     I was surprised–pleasantly so–to find that the survey respondents actually seemed quite balanced (for the most part). I am suitably impressed. Thanks to everyone who helped out–I think this was a great project.

123. Joshua R Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 4:12 pm

     I agree with David Daniel it would be nice to be able to view our own answers, I think that it would be interesting to look at my answers in say 5 years and see how my beliefs have changed and how i have grown.

124. Noah Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 6:28 pm

     Tonight is the first time I came across this website, and only because Sharper Iron had a link posted to it on their blog.

     To all gentlemen who participated in this survey: Thank you for your honesty in your struggle with the area of lust. Unfortunately, far too often we have been unwilling to honestly and openly discuss this issue in our churches. Lust is one of those “hush-hush” issues we tend to ignore until something big happens in our churches, and even then, we aren’t always very honest about what’s really going on. I have been greatly blessed by what I have seen in these results as a man, as I know that I am not the only guy who is doing my part to fight the good fight of faith, and remain pure for my future wife (I have always known this, but it’s always encouraging to publicly see this).

     I have been very grateful for those who have spent the time and money in making things like this and Josh Harris’ book on the subject of lust possible. These are the things that help us to see what the root problem is: it’s a matter of the heart that is supposed to love God with all of our hearts, with all of our souls, and with all of our MINDS; we need to love our sisters in Christ even as God loves us.

125. Bethany Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 6:33 pm

     Thank you for all the time and effort so many of you put into this survey. Modesty in dress and attitude has always been my aim, yet as girls, we so often don’t realize how we cause guys to stumble. I haven’t been able to read all the results yet, but I just had to drop a comment and say how encouraged I was by all the comments concerning modesty being important to guys, and that modest girls DO make a difference! Living in a culture that screams for girls to wear skimpy clothing, it is a great encouragement to know that guys do appreciate the extra effort it takes to dress modestly and attractively.

     Again — thank you for doing the survey, and I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the results!

126. Elsie D. Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 8:32 pm

     Ok. Guess you can be happy now that you know guys appreciate modesty, eh? One of the reasons that I don’t like the survey is the fact that guys (and girls, or course) are supposed to keep their minds pure and the survey is making them think about the parts of our bodies that they shouldn’t be. I would NEVER have recommended that any of my guy friends or my brothers take the survey.

127. Stephanie Carrillo Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 8:37 pm

     Great Job! I absolutely love it! What a huge blessing!

128. Tammy L Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 8:42 pm

     I have really enjoyed looking through the modesty survey statistics! Technology sure is amazing!

     I would be very curious to know whether breastfeeding is considered modest among Christian guys. If the person is nursing a baby and the baby and everything is totally covered with a blanket, is it modest? Or should a lady always leave the room to nurse her baby?

129. Brett Harris Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 9:10 pm

     My older brother, Joel, just contacted me and shared three concerns he had with my last comment to Steph. I changed that last comment slightly, but I also wanted to post these clarifications here:

     First of all, my last comment could be taken to imply to a Christian lady or wife that if her husband looks at pornography it is her fault because she “failed to support and protect him”. The truth is, just as a Christian guy who struggles with lingerie newspaper ads before he is married will probably still have to battle with that after he is married, so also a Christian guy who has a struggle with pornography before he is married will, in most cases, still struggle with it after he is married. His problem is lust and it is his problem.

     Second, my comment could be taken as implying that the only men that fall in this way are the ones who refuse to be humble and honest about their struggles. There are thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) of Christian men who are humble and honest about their struggles… and yet they still struggle! Perfection does not zap them like a lightning bolt.

     Thirdly, it could seem that I was saying that none of these 1,600 men who have been humble and honest about their struggles (by sharing their thoughts in the survey) struggle at all with pornography, which is most certainly untrue.

     Hope that eliminates any misunderstandings. Other than those misinterpretation, I do stand by what I said and encourage Steph (and girls like her) to consider these thoughts. I share them only out of love and concern.

130. Holly Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 9:24 pm

     The only answer that genuinely surprised me was about immodesty being a problem among family members. I’ve no father and no brothers, so I grew up in an all-female home and it was never an issue. A young lady I know from church, however, had a rather severe reaction to that question — it deeply shook her innocence, I think. The idea that her brothers may struggle with lust about her was revolting, but it also caused her to question if her father may perhaps have similar struggles. This is a distressing idea for her (and if I had a father or brothers, I imagine it would be for me, as well) and I’ve really no notion of how to comfort her at the moment. Can any of the men who took the survey shed some light?

131. Beth Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 9:55 pm

     I love surveys! I absolutelly love them… Best thing invented by man. Mass information in a small amount of space.

     Survey about modesty = absolutelly BRILLIANT!!! I am jumping for joy over the results: My chance to hear what hundreds of guys are actully saying about how I dress and how it affects them.

     I am so tickled to know that all gals don’t have to wear sacks (like many of them today think they need too…) and that I was doing some things right (and that Hip Pants are still in if you wear a long camisol tucked in ha ha)

     The questions are brilliant. They were the ones I had in my very own head. It basically covered every question I had. “Cept one, (it was a weird question

     I learned that some of the ways of my conduct could possibly be a stumbling block to people like my brother and Dad, so I’ll watch out for these things. Anyhow. I KNOW now, there is no doubt about it.
     Real guys giving
     …real answers
     …to real questions!

     Praise God for the genius!

     (Can you tell I”m excited? haha)

     There is only one other thing I have to say. With all the questions, almost no exeption their remained one condition: The attitude of the heart. That struck me as I was reading and it strikes me as I’m typing here. It isn’t about sacky cloths or legaliticness… Its how the heart is. I.E. You can be dressed in a sacky dress (following all the legalistic rules) and still be the most seductive of women. Human Beings always want to make a bunch of rules about things so they have solid answers. This issues is harder than that. It’s dealing with your heart. And there are different areas of black and white depending on the person. There is no one rule fits all.

     Guidlines are good, like this survey shows, but I bet, if you get the heart right and the rest follows, just as good as a cart behind a donkey.

     (A lady with a heart to please God and hence be modest, will strive to know what really causes her brothers to stumble, leading her to this fabulous modesty survery, leading her to a conviction, of how they are dressing as modest or immodest, and to change! (or not change)

     Cheers!

     To God be all the glory! Amen!

     You survey makers, and coordinaters, and all the people involved in this survery (as well as all the guys who had to answer a million questions and esp. to the ones who left text responses as well) YOU ROCK!!!

     Eternal Monsoons of Blessings,

     Beth

     P.S. If you don’t know what a monsoon is, find and Arizonian and ask them

132. Alex Jordan Harris Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 11:35 pm

     Holly: Thank you so much for that question. Here are some thoughts on the results you see: First, the strength of the vote on that particular question is largely due to many young men who were (understandably) unwilling to say that immodesty is ever not a problem, even though it isn’t a personal problem for them. Second, most who made any indication that immodesty in their own family was a problem also said that it was much less of a problem than immodesty outside the family—and indicated that is was usually a problem of being uncomfortable, not actually struggling with lustful thoughts. Finally, only a few (out of over 1,600) expressed that it was more than an infrequent problem.

     Ultimately, the message of that question is that young ladies should practice discernment and propriety in dress and behavior, which is the same message as the other 147 questions. It is unwise (and unbiblical) to think that it is impossible for sin to infiltrate the home. To tell the truth, I was one of the guys who strongly agreed with the conclusion of that particular question. Now let me tell you what that means:

     I do many, many things with my dear (and only) sister that I would never do with a girl outside my family. There is great freedom, trust and love between close siblings. When Brett and I review outfits for our sister, any encouragement for her to change something is never due to its being a stumbling block to us, but because it could be a stumbling block to another guy. There is a difference. However, were our sister ever to come out wearing an extremely low-cut top and mini-skirt (she would never do this), we would ask her to change, even if no other guys would see her. Our sister is in a special (and very good!) category, but it doesn’t make it impossible for her to be immodest around us. I believe that truth is what you (and your friend) see reflected in the results.

     I pray this helps, Holly. May God bless you!

133. Jordan Schaefer Says:
     February 15th, 2007 at 11:35 pm

     I feel a little late coming down here to the bottom and offering up my thanks as well. But, I spent the whole day yesterday (Valentine’s Day) promoting the survey - handing out cards, sending emails, uploading my blog, have debates about modesty with other teens and encouraging as many people as I could to get on and take a look.

     Well, I didn’t get on until after the server restarted and I was blown away by what was (basically) handed to me on a silver platter. I have been waiting my whole life for something like this to come out and it was so awesome. Thank you to all the guys who answered the question, the Survey team who put it together and Alex and Brett for working so hard on it.

     I only became a Rebelutionary a couple months ago and already The Rebelution has changed my life. I just want to praise God for the amazing effect the Survey and the Rebelution in general is already having in our country. Thank You Lord!

134. Alyssa C. Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 3:18 am

     Wow! This is so big, so overwhelming!

     Thanks so much, gentlemen, for answering the questions and for your input and advice! It’s a priceless gift to us and we truly appreciate it!

     Alex, Brett, and the rest of the team, you guys did a GREAT job!

     God bless you in your ministry always!

     In Christ,
     Alyssa C.

     P.S. Happy Valentine’s Day!!!
     P.P.S. This is my best Valentine’s Day ever!

135. Holly Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 5:38 am

     Thank you, Alex. That’s very helpful and helps explain the seeming lopsidedness of the answers to that question. Being a lot older than my young friend, I wasn’t shocked at the answers to that question per se, but I definitely was by the percentages. Thanks for clarifying that “problem,” in that sense, does not equate to “burning with lust over my sister/cousin/daughter.”

136. Only1Life4Jesus Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 6:51 am

     I have to admit I am very disappointed with the results of the survey. I was intrigued from the very beginning, and I thought this would be an opportunity to see what what some guys honestly think. If the answers had been simply the ratings I think this would have been much better. But I found myself sickened by the descriptive nature of the textual responses, and I was unable to finish reading the results. Yes, this is what they are really thinking, yes us girls do need to know these things, but for NO (I repeat NO) reason should we be subjected to this kind of language. Biology is something everyone knows about, but a young man with a girl’s best intrests at heart will NOT go into detail describing certain parts of her body. I think some of these answers were brought out by the questions, some questions I feel were out of bounds. I admire your desire to encourage girls to dress modestly, and yes, I learned a few things. But I still feel that men should not use their struggle with lust as a crutch. God says that our bodies are beautiful, and they are our husbands. This doesn’t mean just in what you look, or talk about. This is also with your words. When I read the responses on the survey I felt dirty, abused, and trashy. In no way did this edify my spirit, and encourage me that my body is valuable to God, and my future husband.

137. Steph Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 7:23 am

     Brett;
     Thank you for taking the time out to express your concerns from a Godly perspective, this is very much appreciated!
     lol - yes, I suppose you could call me some what of an idealist; and you are absolutely right that the first step in dealing with sin is recognizing you have th problem and being honest while doing so,
     My problem is this ; i have read so many comments from the girls above, who have taken their time to say how much they appreciate the survey, how they didn’t realize that guys that guys were in such a dire and embattled struggle against us girls ;how they want to change - in a sense, we are like the fruit tree in the garden of Eden.
     Yes, let’s take a look at that tree; God put it there - and what did he say about it? He said don’t touch it. Hm. Did he say…..anything else? um…*checks Bible*…nope, nothing. Just, merely, simply, ‘don’t touch it’. He didn’t delve into long discussions with Adam about how he knew it would a struggle, his thoughts, his feelings — nothing was discussed openly. God gave a command.
     Later, Paul discusses in 1 Corinthians, and follows God’s example in simply saying that those who do it, will not inherite the kingdom of heaven.
     My point is this; All throughout the Bible God is very clear. He knew what men were up against, but ???????. To quote one of my favorite lines from the move ‘Walk the line’
     God said..
     ‘Don’t touch it, he didn’t say don’t think about touching it — don’t think about thinking about touch it, God said don’t touch it’.
     Maybe that isn’t word for word,but I know it’s close.
     Anyways - what many of the answers in the survey reflected was this new age belief about ‘expressing oneself’ and it’s ok to ‘come out of the closet about your struggles’. Many of the girls have treated the boys who answered this survey like heroes ; they expressed their true feelings - they were honest. Hm, this reminds me of the media who condones the homosexuals who struggle with the ‘natural’ way they are.
     For isn’t that what you are saying when you say guys are ‘naturally’ attracted to pornograhy - it’s the way God made them — it’s not their fault. This mirrors exactly why we have a problem with homsexuality, and — oh what’s the word called - ‘gender changes’. ‘God makes me feel like a girl, i can’t help it - even if I am a guy.’ And in fact, God makes it clear that the body is not naturally attracted to sexual immorality by saying in 1 Corin. 6:13 ‘now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.’ - God obviously did not make the body naturally attracted to sexual thoughts.
     He didn’t create you were naturally attracted to pornography and such. He was quite clear in commandments, and he expected you to obey them. Never once does he say ‘girls, thou shalt not be a temptation to men whom I have made naturally attracted to thee’. -
     He said ‘adorn yourselves in modest apparal, with propiety and moderation….which is proper for a woman professing godliness, with good works’.
     And this obviously rules out cleavage and tight jeans. He wasn’t saying’dress so you don’t tempt’ but dress in a way pleasing to God.
     God says if your right hand offends you, cut it off - he didn’t say recognize the offence, treat it honesty, struggle with it, talk to it, — he treated the manner very bluntly. Guys, i think we need to get the axe out and start cutting off some limbs.
     Such are my continued thoughts,
     steph(y)

138. Steph Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 7:29 am

     I realize my paragraph is not completly edited, I didn’t have the time to - sorry for the big ???? in the middle- it’s what I do when I write!
     I think you get the point, though

     Steph(y)

139. Thusia Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 7:53 am

     Just wanted to add to the “thank you’s”! As a single, young woman I want to know how to best serve my Master and Brothers in Christ in every aspect of my life. Even though I strive for modesty, it is wonderful to know what exactly affects men. Thank you to all those who submitted the questions, for those who answered them, and those who put this all together. Much time, effort, and love went into this.

     “…present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”

140. Priscilla Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 7:54 am

     Thank you SO much to all the guys that put so much time into this survey for us. I’m sure I can speak for all the girls here when I say it is much appreciated!

141. Holly Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 7:55 am

     Only1Life, I am sorry that you felt that way. May I suggest that your father screen your reading for you more closely in the future? That may save you some distress. I am a good deal older than the Harris twins, and I am extremely impressed with how hard they worked to draw the line in a Christ-honoring place. There are some whose standards would call it scandalous that you, a young and unmarried woman, are even discussing these things with anyone except your parents and pastor. Others have standards that would draw the line in a less conservative place, as you obviously do, since you’re here talking about it. In discussing these important matters, a line has to be drawn somewhere. I believe it’s obvious that, under the authority and guidance of their godly parents, the Harris twins have done their best to draw the line in a place that’s both honest and protective of their sisters in Christ.

142. Marissa W. Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 7:55 am

     Only1Life4Jesus: Did you read the responses to some of the “Open Questions” and the initial questions in the “General/Other” categories? I, for one, was immensely encouraged by some of those responses in particular! If you didn’t read them yet, please do before you dismiss the survey as “sickening” and “abusive.” I believe that, when used with a prayerful heart, this survey can be a valuable resource.

     The ratings don’t carry much weight alone, as far as I’m concerned. It’s the text responses that really help you see what the guys meant, why they said it, and how they interpreted the question. I think they are a big help in keeping things as guidelines, rather than “thou shalt nots” and help to explain the principles behind the answer. Those principles can then carry over into other things that were not specifically mentioned.

     Yes, some responses to some things might be a bit blunter than they could have been, but I found that, overall, the survey was very balanced and respectful. I am thanking God for the guys who have shared such encouragement to assist us in remaining pure and holy for God’s glory.

     I hope you will consider reading the open responses, if nothing else. They might change your perspective. But if not, thank you for caring enough to share your concerns.

143. Alexandra Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 8:15 am

     Wow. I was interested in this survey from the first announcement, and now that I’ve seen it I’m not really sure how to respond. Some parts were great. I was quite glad to know that guys notice the efforts of modest girls and that they think too much make-up is nasty. I do too, so I don’t wear it (I figure, if you don’t like my face the way it is, then just don’t look at it :)). However, I kept getting sort of irritated with some of the questions. Having every little thing you do picked apart and examined like a bug under a microscope is kind of … dehumanizing. Of course, I guess if we wanted to know what guys think (and I did) and since all questions were submitted by girls (I even submitted a few), there’s really no other way to handle the topic (aside from “use common sense”). What got me so upset was probably coming face-to- face with the harsh reality that guys notice EVERYTHING. It’s kind of unnerving. However, the fault for that clearly doesn’t lie on the survey itself. Uncomfortable as some parts were to read, I appreciate the wakeup call. And I really loved the answers to the first few questions about how guys appreciate and notice modesty. I always kind of thought that the “hot” (or even just pretty) girls were the ones they noticed (I guess I thought that because the whole point of modesty is, to some extent, not to be noticed). Anyway, thanks to everyone who participated in this.

144. Arielle Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 8:44 am

     Steph,

     I think you would do well to read Paul’s words about not knowingly causing a fellow believer to stumble.

     Remember, too, that part of the Lord’s Prayer, as we term it, states “Lead us not in to temptation, but deliver us from evil”

     No one is saying that men are not 100% responsible for keeping a tight rein on lustful thoughts and desires. However, if we women can help make this burden lighter, why shouldn’t we? We’re following the example set by our Savior when we help others in their struggles.

145. Tonni Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 9:00 am

     I’m just wondering if its possible if there’s anyway to get a printout of the whole survey, as next week my youth group is splitting into gusy and girls, and we want to study the results with the girls at the church… and we don’t have computer access there! Is there a summary of the results or something that highlights the main points?

146. Arielle Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 9:16 am

     As for my fellow girls,

     Finding out just what a struggle the average (Christian or not) man has with lust can be overwhelming. Many of us start feeling as if we would have to wear burkhas in order not to be a stumbling block to men.

     My suggestion - start with the basics. No skin-tight clothing, no cleavage, no short skirts or short shorts. Just these simple eliminations will go a long way towards a more modest appearance!

     Ask G-d for help, and as time goes on, you’ll find it easier to manage procuring a modest wardrobe!

147. Becky Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 12:28 pm

     Alex,

     Thank you for the clear explanation you gave to Holly’s question. Many girls have been asking the same question (me being one of them ;)), and it helped clarify some misconceptions. =)

     And, Holly, thanks for asking the “unasked question”!

     Becky

148. anna15 Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 1:18 pm

     wow! amazing job! now i’ve got a basic idea of what i need to work on. and to all those guys out there that i know and/or have been around… sorry for anything i’ve ever done to make you think inpure thoughts.

     god bless,
     anna15

149. Holly Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 1:41 pm

     You’re welcome, Becky. Boldness is not my forte in general, but I knew that my young friend couldn’t be the only young lady who read those numbers and felt a bit shaken. I really appreciate the clarification he offered.

150. Malinda Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 1:53 pm

     Thank you guys for all your input and time! What I would have given to have this avaliable to me before I was married. I thank God every day for giving me a wonderful Godly Christian husband. All this info would have been great to know. I really had no idea what men thought about things like this before I met my husband. I didnt even think men looked or thought twice about girls who were modest, and that was me. I didnt wear the skimpy clothes and therefore was usualy passed up and not looked at, or so I thought. I honestly thought I’d be unmarried forever. Thank you Jesus for these awsome men who want to please You! And thank you for giving me a wonderful husband!

151. Charity Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 2:14 pm

     All in all, I felt the survey was very well-balanced. The text responses were especially helpful, as they gave the guys a chance to say why they agreed or disagreed, or to point out any possible exceptions to their stance. However, there was one that really irked me — the question about whether seeing a girl’s chest bounce when she walks or runs being a stumbling block. As a somewhat top-heavy female, I can testify that there is NO apparel out there that will completely do away with this problem. If there was, I would have purchased it already! Granted, most of the guys in their text responses said something along the lines of “…but I shouldn’t be looking there anyway” but I felt that having the question there at all…I don’t know…kind of validated the fact that guys are looking — especially the text responses that were along the lines of “girls should think before they just take off running.” You might as well have asked whether a guy lusts when he sees a girl’s elbow bend, or over the fact that she has a nose — because while I can do plenty to change the length of my skirt or the tightness of my blouse if I know a guy is going to have a problem, there is NOTHING I can do about the dilemma in question here. (Except stop walking or running, or doing exercise of any sort…but wait, then I will gain weight and my clothes will all be too tight!)

152. christiana Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 2:53 pm

     Hello!

     I am a home educator with three teens.
     They are thrilled with your site, which I introduced.
     I found it about a year ago and was very impressed with your maturity.

     My eldest, 17, daughter and I have been having discussions recently on how many of the high school and college (and even elementary aged!) girls in our church and home school community dress.
     When this daughter was younger (12?) she would sometimes balk at my ideas about what is ‘appropriate’ dress, and what is not. (ie. tank tops, having camies ’show’ , writing (even just OLD NAVY or GAP) on the chest, short shorts (even over the conservative bathing suit!!), to name a few…But she has come along quite nicely and has a lovely attire which would not cause anyone to stumble.

     But I digress….

     In our conversations about these local young women, we DID notice that their dress (and actions, ie. HUGS!) made it easier for the young (and OLDer!) men around them to stumble.
     My husband then confirmed some of our thoughts!
     And so, we continued to pray and think and dialogue.

     I recalled once in my work with youth in my early 20s that we workers had some of the guys in the ministry on a panel for the girls to hear FROM THEM what we had been telling them (already!) about how they dressed and flirted etc. and how guys thought about all that. I must admit that it was very MOVING to the girls who listened. (although some of us workers were a little disappointed in some of the more ‘cool’ or popular guys who seemed to feel embarrassed up front a bit and thus said silly things like, “Well, that really doesn’t bother ME that much….” But overall it seemed to be an effective idea. At least it was a popular and well attended meeting!! I would be curious to know if any of them made life long changes as a result. I wonder if any girls WILL change the way they dress/act as a result of your survey or if it unfortunately becomes only yet another trivial way to AMUSE OURSELVES TO DEATH! smile.

     Anyway, my daughter and I wondered if/how we could get such a panel together at our church. We continued to just pray and wait.
     Then she saw that your survey was coming out.
     What a great resource, we thought!
     But I see now (and I sort of felt it along the way here….) that perhaps all this emphasis on quizzing other young (and older!) men is accidentally/inadvertently causing these young women (and even the men!?!?) to somehow thing that indeed THEIR opinions hold more weight than the Lord’s?
     Why is it not enough to know that the Lord would want you to stay covered up (though still quite lovely!) rather than showing your flesh.

     One other thing, I think that young women also need to be aware of the fact that they could entice other young women, which is also not new under the sun. Sorry to bring up that fact but it is a real issue! Other girls can get ‘turned on’ by seeing other girls’ flesh.

     Notice, also, that I am trying to use the word ‘appropriate’ in regards to girls’ dress rather than ‘modest’ as I was reminded by a sister in Christ who studies the word that this word used in 1 peter 3 is not regarding how much of the woman was covered (ie. flesh showing) but that the word ‘modest’ meant ‘not costly’…not extravagant-looking, showy, drawing attention to itself. Think ‘Gucci’. I am not sure this came up anywhere in the survey, I didn’t read every single question.
     But I thought it was a worthy point and, especially to outsiders/unbelievers, we want to be especially careful about not taking verses out of context.
     We should not be afraid to just rely on our common sense that the Lord gave us as we seek to please him. (Ephesians 5 something…)

     Also……
     when my daughter sent my son the survey, I didn’t really look at it.
     I am a busy mom. Smile.
     But in looking over these questions now and the detail! I am frankly not pleased that my pretty pure son (16) had to sit and think through so many of these issues….
     as well as my husband, whom my daughter also sent it to!!
     I frankly think that in the discussion we need to be careful not to arouse where there is no arousal.
     This is a huge problem within the Christian community. ie. hearing titillating testimonies from converted pagans and their entire sin history for over an hour followed by their conversion story and then, maybe two minutes on how their life has changed.
     Smile.

     This would also be a concern in terms of viewing movies and reading books that give ideas about men/women/relationships/romance that the individual hadn’t even thought of yet?!?! OR….. a guy or girl could read this survey and results and think WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME THAT THIS Doesn’t TURN ME ON!?!
     Hmmmmmmmm………

     I would encourage you in the future to encourage young men and fathers (!) to have these discussions in private with their sons/other young men.
     It is a much needed discussion, meant to take place among those who know eachother and know their audience.
     Mass produced teaching isn’t the best.
     But still…I commend you for tackling the topic.
     Please keep your focus to encouraging teens to look to their parents to discuss these very sensitive subjects first.
     And if they don’t have such….then you are a good second best resource….which I will continue to recommend. Love the shower post!

     For the kingdom.
     For the restoration.
     a mom who cares about everybody’s children (!) and a fellow pilgrim……..

153. Shannon Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 4:27 pm

     Steph,

     I was hoping that someone else would point out your error. In the Garden God said in Genesis 2:17 “But of the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil you shall not EAT (emphasis mine), for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.” It was EVE (again my emphasis) that said in Genesis 3:3″ But God said you shall not eat of the tree in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you shall die.”

     I like Johnny Cash as much as the next person, but quoting a movie line instead comparing it to the Word of God and making sure that the quote from Walk the Line is correct.

     Eve added to God’s law, and yes we can be adding to the Word as well with all the idea of what is modest and what is not. Modesty as the Greek word is translated actually “orderly, decorus, of good behavior-modest”. I do not think anyone here is saying the young men here saying they cannot help themselves, because of the way they are “made” they are admitting their sins and struggles and I would think hoping to find some compassion from their “sisters in Christ” who would be sensitive to what they have to deal with daily. Face it we females are NOT as visually orientated as they are and we just do NOT see what the problem.

     Brett said it very well:

     “My concern for you, Steph, is that your idealism will be crushed eventually by someone close to you, and you won’t be able to recover. This survey is an excellent glimpse into the struggles even Christian men face. To be perfectly blunt, many of the women who are crushed by the discovery that their Christian husband is looking at pornography are the ones who deny that such a thing were even possible. Not that it is their fault or responsibility, but their support and understanding can make a huge difference. And the men who fall that way are often the ones who refuse to be humble and honest about their strugges—the way these 1,600 men have been. Honesty is always the first step in dealing with sin”

     I share in his concern.

154. Steph Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 6:04 pm

     Thank you for pointing out my error; I am so glad you share in my liking for Walk the Line - to be honest, ‘eat’ - is still the same thing: God said don’t eat it. He didn’t say ‘I know it’s a struggle’ - he said don’t eat it. He didn’t say don’t think about eating it. Don’t think about thinking about eating it. God said don’t eat it. I think he’s very clear in his commands - I don’t understand how men who profess to be christian can be into pornography. God’s law instructions are clear; he never gave any ‘if’ or ‘buts’. Modesty is vital to girls Christian Walk. The survey was a wonderful idea, really, excellent idea. And as sisters of Christ, I believe it is our duty to lift our brothers up by addressing them frankly as well as modestly. ‘Understanding’ is to much apart of our society; we must try and understand how homosexuals feel, how cross dressers struggle, how pornographers struggle.
     But thank you again so much for my error; I was writing the paragraph while in the course of my busy activities, and though the thoughts are good, the grammer is poor.
     Steph(y)

155. CL Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 6:09 pm

     The survey is a nice idea, but I think it should be modified in some ways. One of my number one concerns is that it is way too detailed–unnecessarily so. I can’t help but wonder if completing a detailed survey focusing on every part of the body, and every type of clothing on a woman, makes those guys focus more than ever on the very things that they should be avoiding. In other words, it gave them a good excuse to think graphically about parts of a woman’s body and attire–under the guise of considering whether it “caused them to stumble.”

     Plus, a lot of the questions were just silly–how about applying some common sense? For example, why waste space agonizing over whether necklaces or bare feet or high heels or eye makeup cause men to lust? It should be obvious that if little things like that are a problem, then it’s the man’s fault, not the woman’s. (Or, on the other end of the spectrum, it should also be obvious that bikinis and miniskirts are not exactly modest apparel–more items that should go without saying.) Girls that have to ask questions like this really don’t have a clue.

     The bottom line is this: Believe it or not, focusing too much on modesty can lead to the opposite of the desired effect, on both guys and girls. It can cause a sort of obession or paranoia. Girls, after reading this survey (if they make it all the way through) are more likely to be increasingly self-conscious. Guys, after taking or reading this survey, are bound to notice things that they did not notice before.

     Modesty is really just a matter of common sense. It’s important, but it’s not something that needs to be discussed endlessly or dwelt on ad nauseum.

     P.S. By the way, Josh and Alex, I don’t mean to sound harsh. I really like your blog, and I am always impressed by the maturity and energy with which you approach issues. I think that you meant well with your survey, but I think that it’s a classic example of “too much of a good thing.”

156. Laura Leigh Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 6:12 pm

     Thank you for making this survey! I have always labored to be modest in my actions and dress, and all of you Christian men have made it easier to understand why something is immodest.
     I thought the comments on the “loose jumpers with no definition” was interesting. I tend to wear that style often! I love beautiful (modest) clothing, but am not always able to obtain those. As I get a little farther in my home education, I’m learning to sew, which enables me to buy pretty fabric and make my own modest clothing. I think you guys should be aware, however, that modest dresses are very hard to find. Many people cannot (or don’t) afford going to expensive department stores to buy clothes, and I seldom find anything modest in WalMart! (This is why I’m learning to sew)!
     I enjoyed reading all the survey questions/comments, and want to know when we ladies can do a similar one for the guys!

     In Christ,
     Laura Leigh

157. Annie P. Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 7:15 pm

     Laura Leigh,
     I just want to encourage you in your sewing!! I have felt the same way about trying to find clothing; I have been encouraged to sew by my mother, and I’m really having fun with being able to make my own modest clothing. Also, I think it will be an excellent skill to have as mothers–who knows if we’ll be able to find any modest clothing at all in department stores 10 years from now for our children! So keep it up, and may the Lord bless your efforts!

     Stay emboldened in His joy,
     ~Annie P.~

158. Anna Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 8:56 pm

     Steph,
     You say, “I don’t understand how men who profess to be Christian can be into pornography. God’s law instructions are clear; he never gave any ‘if’ or ‘buts’.”
     I do agree with you; the laws are clear. Please understand, though, that anyone who wants to obey God’s law has an awfully hard time. The fact that we’re fallen has definite impact there. We really want to feed the flesh, and we do it in different ways. I could name several things I struggle with, but one of the worst is a form of violence addiction. As a Christian, I shouldn’t be addicted to violence, or anywhere close to it. But it’s a slippery slope and I slip often. Now one thing that a lot of guys struggle with is porn. Even if they know it’s not Christian and they shouldn’t look at it, they can still have a problem; they can still slip. It doesn’t mean they’re not saved, it doesn’t mean they’re not trying, and it certainly doesn’t mean they disrespect God’s law. It’s just a very easy way to slip up.
     Anna

159. Nabeth Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 9:30 pm

     You know, I was just noticing how there are so many comments but few really praise GOD for the survey. Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely grateful to the guys that put this together. But I know that the Rebelution is focused greatly on honoring our Maker through our actions. Including the way we dress. And I just wanted to praise The Lord for the work that has been done.=) After alll, didn’t He give Alex and Brett the idea and brains to do this? And isn’t He the giver of all good things? Just a thought=)
     Praise God from who ALL blessings flow!
     In Christ,
     Naomi Elizabeth=)

160. Marissa W. Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 9:41 pm

     Steph… just because a guy admits he has been tempted to lust, does not mean he is into pornography. Most of these guys are guys with a strong commitment to purity, and fighting their hardest, I believe, to deal with these temptations all around and remain pure. This is not all about “understanding” their problem and leaving it at that. This is about helping them DEAL WITH IT. There’s the difference between understanding someone “coming out of the closet” (and telling him, “Well, I guess that’s the way you are!”) and trying to assist sincere Christian guys in their journey towards holiness.

     A guy is generally more easily tempted visually to lust, but often “good Christian girls” are tempted to lust emotionally for that to which they have no claim. We all have sinful fleshly impulses to battle. Being tempted is only fallen human nature. It just depends on how you deal with it. Do you feed that sinful nature, or starve it?

     The temptations do not instantly disappear forever once one becomes a Christian, but what one does with those temptations should change. But santification (not salvation, but holiness) is a process, and will not be totally complete until Glory.

161. Arielle Says:
     February 16th, 2007 at 11:40 pm

     Christiana -

     I wouldn’t worry too much about the effect the survey might have had on your son. After all, the Bible discusses sexual matters pretty frankly. Several verses in the Song of Solomon were even devoted to a description of the female form and the desire it engendered!

162. Char Says:
     February 17th, 2007 at 2:19 am

     I had heard about this survey elsewhere and decided to check out the results. Good job in addressing it, though most of the info is not particularly earth shaking. However a few of the q/a’s irritated me.

     First, as someone else mentioned, unless one is small chested it is impossible not to “bounce” when one walks or runs. Perhaps the fellows who complained about ill-fitting bras and the like should have to wear a pair of DD prosthetics and go shopping for a bra that keeps them from bouncing. This bra does not exist. It’s unfair to make large chested women feel like they are being immodest every time they move and to single out something they can do nothing about.

     I also found that so many respondants said they have less respect for women who dress immodestly rather disturbing. We are all sinners, yet some sins are more deserving of shaming and disrespect it seems. If a woman is a modestly dressed cow she still automatically commands more respect than a woman who is immodestly dressed? This is the complete antithesis of “looking at character” or what have you-it is the essence of going by appearances.

     I have known many women who think “Godliness” is all about sexual purity and modest dress, but does not extend to nastiness, gossip, backbiting and the like. The fact is we all have weaknesses, albeit different ones. I don’t believe people who take care to clean the outside of the cup are necessarily more deserving of honour or respect.

     Certainly I realize this was not the intent of the question and people were just answering honestly. However I can’t see this as but a bad attitude and something that christians must be careful to guard against. Contrary to what some say, Christianity does not have two tiers.

     The last thing, the survey fails to take into account that most women do not dress for men, they dress to impress other women. There is an interesting heart issue to look at.

163. Mel Says:
     February 17th, 2007 at 7:42 am

     Thank-you so much to everyone who had a part in putting this survey together…

     I was so blessed to read the text responses from the guys especially about whether they notice and apprreciate girls who choose to dress modestly, that was very encouaging!

     In reading through the survey I learnt that some things affect guys more than I thought and I am so glad that I have seen this survey and can be more aware and help my brothers in the Lord to not stumble.

     The most important thing that the survey reminded me of was that modesty is an attitude of the heart. It’s not all about what we wear but also how we conduct ourselves, what we say and how we act towards others.

     I pray that God will use this survey to bless many and to help girls around the world to realise the importance of modesty so that we, as Christians, can stand up, make a difference and show the world that we refuse to confrom to their standards!

     May God bless you all,

     Mel

164. Alexandra Says:
     February 17th, 2007 at 8:10 am

     CL-
     I totally agree! I couldn’t really pinpoint exactly what bugged me so much as I read the survey, but I think you nailed it. I still appreciate the survey, but I think you made some really valid points in your comment. I feel kind of bad getting down on the survey, but some things really don’t need to be dwelt on so much.

165. ColeC Says:
     February 17th, 2007 at 8:48 am

     Steph -

     Thank you very much for your comments. They were extremely thought provoking (I woke up thinking about them last night) and very frank, which I appreciate. Your questions are valid. They prompted me to ask myself- ‘Can a man claim to call himself a gentleman and admit struggles with physical attraction? Can someone claim to be walking a pure life with his sisters and yet struggle with maintaining eye-to-eye contact? Does someone who struggles with noticing and/or anylizing anatomical differences (not necessarily gazing or dwelling) of the opposite gender have an excuse of natural attraction?’ Part of me says that if a guy’s not struggling with lust than he’s probably giving into it. The other part says that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us - that includes conquering lust. Marissa W stated that sanctification is a process, which a relief, because I’m definitely not there yet. But men should also avoid using that process as an excuse for not relying on God’s strength in our weakness.

     Weakness is something that’s good.

     2 Corinthians 12:9-10

     9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

     Hebrews 11:32-34

     32And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, 33who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, 34quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies.

     Your standards are high, Steph, don’t lower them.

166. Marissa W. Says:
     February 17th, 2007 at 10:39 am

     Marissa W stated that sanctification is a process, which a relief, because I’m definitely not there yet. But men should also avoid using that process as an excuse for not relying on God’s strength in our weakness.

     Very true, ColeC… I hope it was clear that I wasn’t trying to make excuses for anyone - male or female - for impurity.

167. Kay Says:
     February 17th, 2007 at 10:51 am

     Here’s something I’d like to know: When did modesty get so twisted? It used to be that modesty had to do with how short or tight your clothes were, and whether you were using what you were wearing to inappropriately get a guy’s attention. Now all of a sudden, it’s all-encompassing. Like, it used to be that if your bra strap stuck out of your shirt or your slip showed, it was just a mistake that happened — a careless mistake. People didn’t make a big deal out of it. Likewise, if your chest bounced when you ran, that was just a part of life. If you put on lip gloss or moved your hair out of the way, it was just taking care of business. Words were printed on the front of shirts because that was a logical place to put them. And every now and then you would bend over, and part of your back would show, and you would just pull your shirt down as soon as you stood up and nobody said anything about it.

     Now, all of a sudden, all of these things are viewed (at least by some people) as being intentionally seductive. If my bra strap shows, then clearly I must be trying to make a guy stumble. (I’ve seen girls who wore bra straps intentionally placed to attract attention — that’s not what I’m talking about here.) Same for if my slip shows, or if my shirt rides up when I bend over (since I probably wasn’t supposed to bend over in the first place, because it would draw a guy’s attention.)

     I know some girls must be oblivious and really need to know a lot of basic stuff. If they weren’t, questions like “Are miniskirts a problem” would never have been asked. But it seems like we’ve given guys few too many excuses here to lust over something that isn’t always within a girl’s power to prevent.

     I guess my question is, who hijacked modesty and made it so that even the least intentional actions and mistakes became viewed as a stumbling block?

168. ColeC Says:
     February 17th, 2007 at 11:07 am

     No, you were very clear. I wasn’t. I shouldn’t have used the words ‘In addition,’ instead of ‘but.’ I think we both realize that recognizing we’re growing shouldn’t constitute complacency.

169. Marry! Says:
     February 17th, 2007 at 12:01 pm

     Hey! Keep up the good work! It has helped me a lot already! And anwsered a lot of things I’ve been wondering about.
     I was wondering… Are you sorta doing a modesty survey for the guy too?

     In His Grip,
     Marry=-)

170. Amy Says:
     February 17th, 2007 at 12:26 pm

     My goodness! I have spent almost an hour looking at the results of the survey and reading the “hundreds” of comments!
     First of all, I want to say thanks to Brett and Alex (I really hope those are the right names ) for doing this survey. When I first heard about it, I was really excited and couldn’t wait for the results! And I have to say that I was not disappointed.
     As for the comments…they created a lot of mental and spiritual turmoil for me. I agreed (not completely, but in some degree) with ALL of the opinions stated by so many people. Which shouldn’t make sense, because several were in conflict with each other.

     I agreed with Steph and the others who thought that the survey was somewhat extreme and too detailed in its descriptions. And I agreed with the people who raved over the awesomeness of the survey. Really, it was all of the comments that confused me, rather than the survey itself. I finally had to make myself stop…and *think*…

     These are the conclusions I have made:
     Someone (I forgot who) said something along the line that, “It is scary when girls can’t decide what is modest and what is not.” I laughed when I read that. Truly, it is scary. Regardless of all the comments and supposed problems with the essay, my personal modesty is a matter of my heart, and my relationship with Jesus Christ and my parents.

     I pray that Steph, and others who were upset by the survey will find peace and be reassured through their relationship with God. And I pray that those who do not value themselves highly enough to cover themselves not only with modest clothing but the love of Jesus will find the truth. I also pray for young men who face temptations and struggles. God bless the ones who overcome those trials and strive to be true gentlemen!

     Just a side thought…I love Mr. Darcy. I am glad he was mentioned.

     Love,
     Amy

171. Only1Life4Jesus Says:
     February 17th, 2007 at 3:45 pm

     Holly: Thank you for your comment. I find it slightly amusing that you made some presuppositions about me that led to the general statements of your comment. First of all, I too am older than the Harris twins, and as I am older, I felt that I did not need my father’s screening to read something on a Christian sight. The purpose of the survey was to edify, and believing that to be safe for me to read, I did not feel it was necessary. However, I would never ever put my brother or father in front of the computer screen, and tell them to read the survey. I already stated how it made me feel, so I can only imagine what it would do to a guy’s mind. You also supposed that I do, in fact have a father who is my spiritual leader, and in the home. I thank God I do, but other girls are not so blessed. What are girls that have no fathers supposed to do, if this is your solution? Lastly, I don’t think you could call my comment drawing the line. I merely voiced an opinion, I did not use graphic language (this was my problem with the survey), and I did not lash out in an personal attack on an persons involved in this survey. If you would please clarify that statement, maybe it would help me understand what you were trying to say better. Thank you again for your comment.

     Marissa W: Thank you so much for your comment. I did take your advice and go back to read the Open Questions. They were, although encouraging, nothing new, or anything I didn’t know. They were (at least the ones I read) of much better quality than the other questions. Of course, the nature of the questions were comepletely different. I took the responses as I expressed in the last comment the way I did because I am not some sheltered little girl. I have to be out in the world, supporting my family, and I am around guys who have no respect for women, or their bodies. To hear similar things from Christian guys was as I said, disappointing. Again, my problem was not that guys have struggles with their mind, but the way they talked about it on a Christian website that is supposed to edify. You said the ratings were not as affective. I would agree with this statement. But I think the textual answers could have been more properly screened for content. Unfortunately I did not agree that the textual response were “balanced and respectful.” The words I read were very much like something I hear unsaved guys at work saying. That is not respectful. Again I read the Open Questions, but I have not changed my mind. Thank you for your comment, and your gentle spirit. That is generally unheard of in the world of the internet, sadly even in the Christian realm. =)

     In closing I would just like to say I realize that the purpose of this survey was to edify, and it was not the creators intention to create anything but. I guess you cannot know where I’m coming from if you have not been in my situation, and seen the similarities between the world and the afore mentioned textual responses. That is why I was so upset. I know this was a lot of work to put together, and I appreciate the effort. I would like to suggest that in taking on something of this nature in the future you would provide closer screening for content. May God bless you all.

     “Be not wise in thine own eyes. Fear the Lord and depart from evil”

     (Oh, I am joining the Mr. Darcy fan club also. Three cheers for more men like him. Fictional characters that is

172. Laura Leigh Says:
     February 17th, 2007 at 7:04 pm

     Dear Annie P.
     Thanks for the encouragement! Sewing lessons here we come!

     Dear Other People,
     Mr. Darcy is okay. Please remember that it was WOMEN who wrote Pride & Predjudice and Jane Eyre. When they wrote them, they weren’t married. Jane Austen never married. They most likely didn’t have a clue as to how men think. And Mr. Darcy did mention that when Miss Bingley and Lizzy were walking around the room, that he could view their figures better from the position he was sitting in. And as for Mr. Rochester, he was married, kept a mistress, and then tried to commit bigamy. He was a scoundrel. He reformed later, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was a scoundrel. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jane Austen’s works also! But give me a Christian guy who struggles with sin, admits it, and works with all his might to overcome the flesh over a fictional “perfect” guy like Mr. Darcy who isn’t all that perfect.
     I think part of the reason that courteous behaviour is dying, is because gracious women are becoming mighty scarce. My bother is very kind, and opens doors for ladies, offers them a hand out of the car (ever try getting out of a car in a straight skirt without help?) and more often than not, they’ll give him an odd look like he’s some sort of nut. Why won’t you let them help you? If we ladies would be just that: LADIES; Christian men might not have it so hard.
     Sorry if I started rambling, that’s one of my favorite subjects…

     In Christ,
     Laura Leigh

173. CL Says:
     February 17th, 2007 at 7:38 pm

     Kay: EXACTLY! That was the best comment on here so far. How refreshing to read a sensible comment amid all of the inexplicable, teary raving over the survey.

174. Only1Life4Jesus Says:
     February 17th, 2007 at 8:04 pm

     Haha, the whole Mr. Darcy thing is just a joke! At least on my end. Notice I said what I said about fictional characters.

175. Only1Life4Jesus Says:
     February 17th, 2007 at 8:06 pm

     Oh and THANK YOU KAY!!!

176. Rachel Hunt Says:
     February 18th, 2007 at 2:23 pm

     Thank you fellow rebelutionary brothers for your honesty and forthrightness in the recent modesty survey. It means so much to know that you are affirming young women in their desire to live godly and dress modestly in a world full of compromise. It is encouraging to know there is still a generation of young men who do care about these issues.

     I really appreciated the written answers to some of the questions where you expressed your heart and gave reasons behind your answers. While there were responses I may not have fully agreed with and which made me wish you had encouraged an even higher standard in, overall, the resounding theme I kept hearing was one that encouraged femininity coupled with modesty. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. May we all keep the bar for excellence raised high!

     ~Rachel

177. Alex Jordan Harris Says:
     February 18th, 2007 at 8:59 pm

     Kay: Thank you for your clearly articulated point. In answer to your question, I think we guys are to blame for the increase in the number of things that are potential stumbling blocks… We’ve let our sisters down in many ways and I am so sorry for that. I know the guys who took the survey (and all of those who signed the petition) are fighting to be real men who honor, serve, and cherish their sisters in Christ.

     With that said, I think it is good to bear in mind that we cannot really say with certainty that all of the things you mentioned were not a problem in the past. We don’t have any way of measuring.

     Regarding the perceived intention of the guys as accusing girls of being intentionally seductive with things like bra straps showing and shirts riding up, I cannot recall a single guy saying anything that would imply that. I’m sorry if anything caused you to feel that way.

     One final thing that everyone should remember: It was the girls who came up with the questions that made up the survey, not the guys, nor Brett or me. If any of the guys had come up with a modesty survey, you had better believe that the questions about jewelry and makeup and lip gloss and glitter lotion and different kinds of swimsuits and shirts and skirts and pants and slips never would have been included. The purpose of the modesty survey was to facilitate the answering of questions girls were asking.

178. Kristin Says:
     February 21st, 2007 at 9:04 pm

     I would just like to say that, girls, there are bras out there that eliminate bounce. You might have to look real hard, try some on or even get some specially made but it is most definitly NOT impossible to do.

     Also, to whoever said that the text responses were “graphic”, read the Bible. The Holy Word of God uses some pretty shocking language, particularly in Song of Solomon as was previously mentioned and somewhere in the Samuels it talks about a rape that occured between a step-BROTHER AND HIS SISTER!! (I’m too tired to look it up right now but if you really want to see it for yourself then let me know)

     CL - Yes, we girls really are clueless when it comes to how guys think. How are we supposed to know if a guy struggles with barefeet or not unless we ask him? This was the whole intent of the survey and I can’t believe how angry people are getting about it, especially girls.
     Yes, I’ll admit that when I first read the survey I was more than a little shocked by how some of the guys phrased things but you know what? Guys are like that. Some were gentler and used politer terms which I was impressed but most were blunt and to the point which impressed me as well.

     My little brother took the survey and, allowed me to preview any pictures he looked at so it wouldn’t cause him problems. Most were ok but some I didn’t show him and, rather, described the image in a way he would understand and then he would answer the question. He also signed the petition and I am so impressed that he would show LOVE to me, his sister, and strange girls he doesn’t even know just to help them to help him.

     I absolutely ADORE the survey and I am going to print it out and save it for my personal reference to look at again and again and again. This is a precious resource and I’m not going to disregard it because some things were “offensive” or the “language was crude.” I thank the guys who came out of their comfort zone to tell us how we could help them. They really put themselves out there and I hope they know that MOST all the girls really appreciate it and wouldn’t give to much thought to the (negative) comments.

     As a parting note, I encourage all of you girls who had problems with the survey to read the petition, scroll down the names that are still being filled out, and read the text responses to the Open questions. Particularly the men’s responsibility and difference between what is attractive and what is not.

179. Amanda Howell Says:
     February 22nd, 2007 at 9:35 am

     I just wanted to say thank you so much! I was greatly encouraged. Most of it I had known to some extent, but it was great to know how you guys felt about it.
     I must say I agree with Laura Leigh, it is hard to find modest clothing! I started speech last fall and I needed a suit/jacket and it took me a long time to find one that was modest. I have been sewing my own clothes for at least 4 years and my mom made them for me before that. I stopped wearing pants at seven of my own choosing, I didn’t at that time know how well it would encourage and benefit others. You have encouraged me to continue in the way I dress and have made me more aware of ways I can keep my fellow brothers in Christ from stumbling and improve my walk as a Christian. Thanks again so much.
     Alex and Brett, may God bless you and keep up the good work. Your blog has greatly encouraged me. Please never stop pleasing Him, just knowing that there are young men out there serving the Lord is so encouraging. You helped me over come my fear of public speaking, thank you so much. Now I’m part of a speech group and I pray that God may use me there, to even touch one life would be a blessing.

     But I’m getting off track. Thanks again for the modesty survey. I do have a question though. I have heard and seem to often hear talk about modesty for girls, but what about the guys? Guys aren’t exempt from modesty. The list may not be as long, but I strongly believe that there is such a thing as modest clothing for guys. Am I the only one in thinking this?

     I can’t thank you enough as you probably can tell:) God Bless!
     In Christ,
     Amanda

180. A Sister in Christ Says:
     February 22nd, 2007 at 6:34 pm

     I am so grateful for all of the effort that has been put into the Modesty Survey. I am blessed to have a brother and a dad to help me, but I can see that these questions, even though some are no-brainers to me, can be real concerns of girls who do not have guys to help them in this area. Thank you!!!

     Just a comment for all of the ladies who expressed concern about the overly explanatory questions and answers: like Alex said, these were girls asking the questions. All of us girls are different, and some may have questions where others would not. Some girls (and I can relate, even though I didn’t send in questions) may have gotten really excited, and sent in any question they could think might possibly at some point be a bit of a problem. Who knows, maybe these girls have got “hoof-in-mouth” right now about their questions! All of the guys are different, too. I noticed some text responses were quite legalistic, others didn’t really care, and still others were like my brother, who was kind of grossed out by some of the questions.

     It all comes down to the heart, which is what I found most encouraging in this survey. Many of the guys said “yeah, I agree, but in most cases, if the girl is acting like this, or doing that, then it’s not okay.” It’s a heart issue with the guys as well, and they have some responsibility. They can conjure up all kinds of thoughts toward a girl in an ankle-length burlap sack if they want to. We can’t please everybody, girls, but we can please God. If you are confused about what is appropriate, then talk to God about it; He’ll listen! If you ask Him, He will change you from the inside out.

     Okay, well, congrats if you actually made it through this novel I just wrote! God bless!!

181. Rebekah Says:
     February 22nd, 2007 at 9:06 pm

     Thank you to each and every guy who completed the modesty survey! It is interesting to hear what guys my age have to say about modesty.
     I liked how one guy said modesty shouldn’t be about “do’s” and “don’ts” but instead about the heart. My youth pastor often says the more you love God, the more you will want to do things that please Him. I have found this to be true in my own life, because the more I fall in love with Jesus, the less I have a desire to dress immodestly. (As my friend and I tell each other, “Modest is hottest!”) I believe that modesty should never be about rules; instead, it should be about pleasing God with every area of our lives.
     If Christian guys are wondering if there are any girls left who will dress modestly, Christian girls are wondering if there are any guys who will respect that quality. It has surprised and saddened me to learn how many strong Christian guys I know prefer girls who are sexy over girls who are modest. Sometimes I wonder if Christian guys really value modesty, why don’t they act like it? Why do they give all the attention to girls who dress immodestly? My mentor has told me guys “play with” or flirt with girls who are immodest, but they want to marry a girl wtih character and integrity. I wonder why many Christian guys flirt around with immodest girls when they want to marry a girl who is modest and respectable. (I know not all Christian guys do that; I have some great guy friends who respect girls who are modest and I am so thankful for them. I just wish more guys would be like them!)
     I want to dress modestly 1.) to honor God and 2.) so I don’t cause guys to stumble or lust. But sometimes it is a struggle to stand firm for my convictions when so many guys seem to prefer girls who are immodest.
     I believe we Christian girls should take the responsibility and dress in a way that honors God. And when we do, it would be so refreshing for Christian guys to tell us they appreciate our decision to be modest (it’s definitely not an easy choice to make, especially in America today.)

182. Amanda Howell Says:
     February 23rd, 2007 at 9:40 am

     Rebekah,

     I just had to agree with what you said. I have had some of the same questions in my mind as well. I think it would be one of the greatest compliments if a guy told me he appreciated my decision to be modest. It’s definitely not an easy path.

     I was glad to learn though that I am respected for my modesty. I don’t have any Christian guy friends or any for that matter like most girls seem to have, so I didn’t know how much I am respected for my decision. I do have two teenage brothers, but they have never told me what they thought of girls’ clothes/modesty, let alone mine. Perhaps because I never asked:)
     Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I agree with what you said and I appreciate it.

     God Bless

183. DanaeGrace Says:
     February 26th, 2007 at 11:21 am

     I too appreciate reading the results as they are a group opinion, and there was the odd point that I hadn’t considered before. However, on the whole I wonder if it did itself miss the mark of modesty, as others have said. This has shown me the truth of how Titus 2 tells the older women to teach the younger to be chaste and discreet. Some of these issues, my mother has always told me, even if I didn’t appreciate it or thing anything of it myself. It is sad that their are younger girls out there who aren’t getting that teaching, but it is also sad that we younger ones have often not listened.

     Another thing that I haven’t seen mentioned here at all (though I haven’t listened to the messages, and I might have missed something) is God’s view on what we all ought to wear. The articles on the more general subject of modesty were good, but I believe the Bible does tell us more and I hope the girls would put that above man’s opinion.

     1Tim.2:9 tells us to ‘adorn ourselves in modest apparel’. Adorn, not just wear, but that which is going to make us look lovely. Rom. 12:1-2 tells us we can know what is the ‘good and acceptable and perfect will of God’ if we live our lives as a living sacrifice, submitted to Him. Ex. 28 tells us the priests were to wear breeches reaching from the loin to the thigh to cover their nakedness. The Greek word for ‘apparel’ here, is not the same as that used for men’s clothing, but is ‘katastole’. ‘kata’ meaning down and ’stole’ being a robe. Men wore robes, yes, but they also girded them up when they were working (Job 40:7), which women didn’t do -we are to leave them down.

184. Jill Manty Says:
     April 19th, 2007 at 7:08 am

     I’m a Mom, and I think the survey was great. However, I’d also really love to see a survey on male modesty. I understand it’s not the same issue, but I find so much of what young men wear to be disrespectful. It may not tempt the girls to immorality, but it does tend to communicate a lack of respect for self and others.

185. Jessie Says:
     August 5th, 2007 at 7:10 pm

     Jessie…

     Usefull post. I learned so much. Thank you….

186. Lydia S Says:
     October 6th, 2007 at 6:47 pm

     I really want to thank ya’ll for this. It’s answered alot of my questions. Really appreciate it! (:

187. lorraine Says:
     September 29th, 2009 at 5:33 pm

     i agree with jill manty she has a point…..guys can be immodest too dont forget that guys!!

188. lorraine Says:
     September 29th, 2009 at 9:52 pm

     does n e one even read these comments n e more? if so plez leave a comment mine is the first one this year!

189. lorraine Says:
     October 11th, 2009 at 3:23 pm

     wow i guess no one does read these comments n e more….you should!!!

190. Lindsey H. Says:
     February 20th, 2010 at 2:19 pm

     I noticed that there was nothing concerning how a girl should wear her hair… I’m curious if that’s something we should be taking into account…

191. liz Says:
     March 14th, 2010 at 7:26 pm

     This is great and is really encouraging for girls cause we just feel so small especially in the Mall and public places when we try to be modest!! Thank you guys for caring about us cuz we can’t fight it alone!! God bless!!

192. Hannah Says:
     June 9th, 2010 at 4:35 pm

     wow guys! You have no idea how helpful this is!! It is so encouraging to know that there are great Christian guys that care out there!

193. Ashley Says:
     June 16th, 2010 at 6:12 pm

     My dear brother’s in christ, THANK YOU SO MUCH for helping us christian girls out. This survey was extremely helpful to me along with many other girls. There was a good amount of answers/results on that list that shocked me because I literally did not even think about that being a stumbling block… now I definitely know how to dress more modestly on a daily basis. Some of the results literally made me sad though, hah, like the side bags and the tank tops… I love my new bag I just got, and I wore tank tops all the time…but now I am so glad to know the truth from the majority of guys. I am so glad to know I can still wear my bermuda shorts! haha. For real though, this was a huge help and I am going to try to dress in a modest fashion to the best of my ability. It is quite hard to do for girls now a days, not trying to give us an excuse! But our options are limited now… but then again so is Christianity– “limited by human efforts” through taking the bible and teachings of it out of schools and so on, but that doesn’t stop God Thanks again! God bless you all! I am so glad to see guys who actually respect girls who dress modestly because a lot of times I feel like my modesty goes unnoticed… but now I see through you guys’ answers, it definitely does not.

194. Ashley Says:
     June 16th, 2010 at 6:13 pm

     also… what about brightly colored skinny pants that aren’t too tight?? because I’m kind of fond of those

195. Emma Says:
     June 23rd, 2010 at 10:11 pm

     I have always been wondering what guys thought of the things I wear, and this has really given me a view of their hearts and how they strive to follow Christ. It is sad that us girls can get in the way of that sometimes. Thank you so much for doing this, it means so much to me and I am hoping to be able to dress even better now.

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