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THANK YOU SO MUCH, every person who took time to invent, create, promote, and fill out this survey. It’s way beyond what I ever thought it would be! For those of you who took the extra time to offer text responses, thank you. Most of those are encouraging me a lot as I read them.
I’ve always cared a lot about modesty, and tried my best, but reading these text responses has brought tears to my eyes, and was a tremendous encouragement to hear that MANY people DO appreciate it and it is a help and encouragement to them. This survey is an added encouragement to press on and stand strong (guys & girls!) because people do care about it!
Guys, you don’t know how much of a blessing this survey is. The direct link is sure going up on my blogs!!
Hooray! A hearty and sincere thank you to everyone who devoted precious hours of time and effor to this survey! This was a wonderful Valentine’s Day gift. I can’t wait to go through the rest of the survey. It looks awesome. And thanks also to all of the guys who have signed the petition as well. I really appreciate it!
Thank you so much to all the guys who participated in the survey, and especially to the survey team who stayed up all night for this! I was amazed at how many men signed the petition! That’s very encouraging.
I pray that we as girls will be willing to make any changes that are needed to our wardrobes, and may God continue to change our hearts as well.
May God continue to use this for His glory!
Thank you so much, Alex and Brett, and the survey team! You’ve done a wonderful, God-honoring job!
Thank you God for the blessing which is the Harris twins’ Modesty Survey. Men of God in the past have done fantastic, heroic things - ending slavery, standing up to King George, fighting for freedom around the globe, writing the Constitution - but these survey results are worth more than all those other things put together. History will NOT forget you, Alex and Brett. All the wrongs of the world will no doubt be righted by these results - babies will live, speech will be free, religion will flourish.
Just keep doing your thing, guys. I’m sure the girls will continue to think you’re hot and the conference invitations will pour in so that people can gather to hear the wisdom pour forth from the mouths of two fairly average 18-year-olds.
I must say, I had no idea that guys really thought these things, thank you for opening my eyes to the truth.
When I opened the modesty survey and saw the petition and how many guys had signed it I started to tear up, how amazing. Words can’t express my feelings…thanks.
I discovered this website a couple of weeks ago by mistake and have been so encouraged by it. To all of you guys who made this modesty survey a reality–thank you sooo much! I don’t know if you’ll ever really know how much it means to some of us girls who really want to be careful in our dress, but get confused on some issues. I don’t have any brothers, so it’s hard to imagine how most teen guys think, and of course, I’d be too embarrassed to ask any guys I know about how they think of my dress. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. May God bless each one of you!
Much thanks to Brett and Alex for hosting this survey, and to the entire Survey team that put so much hard work and effort into building the survey system and compiling the results. May God be praised and his people blessed.
FANTASTIC!!!! Thanks so much everybody for all your hard work. This is a real blessing. I haven’t finished reading the results yet but from what I’ve seen already, I am encouraged to continue dressing modestly, bolstered by the opinions of 1600+ brothers in Christ. THANK YOU!
thank you thank you thank you thank you thankyou!!!!!!!!!
Because of all the traffic, I may need to wait till I finish my school work to see the results!!
thank you again!
Praise God
Elizabeth
Yay!! This is exciting. I just looked through a few of the results (I had to stop, because it said something about too many connections, or something…wouldn’t load properly). The survey has really exceeded my expectations. Reading through some of the text responses, the guys seemed to have such respect for girls. I’d been looking forward to this, but it’s even better than I thought it would be. I am going to say GREAT JOB, to everybody who’s worked on this and put effort into it. That includes all the guys who answered the survey. I really, really appreciate the respectful attitude that seems to be purveyed in what I’ve seen of the survey so far.
Oh my gosh, I’m currently looking through the results (since its a bit slow, I am multitasking :0) and this is amazing. I knew it was going to be great, but wow! Its awesome.
Its so consice, clear, and organized. I can easily tell all the effort that everyone put into it! I am so thankful for all you guys, Alex and Brett, and all the guys that answered the questions.
I will definitly tell the girls in my youth group about this, and will put the add on my blog.
I have to add my heartfelt thank you!!! The written answers have been incredibly encouraging to read. Thanks guys for being honest, yet humble, in the filling out of this survey. I deeply appreciate your efforts to help and encourage us girls to be modest outwardly as well as inwardly. Thanks!!
Thank you so much for doing this - even staying up all night so that it could get done! I haven’t seen it all yet, for there’s quite a bit of traffic on the site right now. I wonder why…
It’s such a blessing! Thanks to all of the guys who participated in this; I, too, was amazed at the number of signatures on the petition.
Thank you so much everybody who has worked on and contributed to this survey!
Reading what you all wrote brought tears to my eyes (and I don’t cry often). Knowing there are guys that really respect girls who desire to be modest is so encouraging! You have made me deeply want to continue dressing and acting in modest ways.
I’m in awe that 1,600+ of you took the time to express your thoughts. Thanks again.
This is absolutely phenominal… thank you so much to everyone who participated and put this together! I’m taking notes as I go through. This is such a fantastic resource that I was almost in tears as I read through the faithful comments that these guys left to help us girls. Thank you thank you thank you!
Thank you gentlemen. So much for putting time and thought into this, in order to give us ways we can help you. When I started reading the responses to the very first statements…I started crying, it’s so amazing to read what you [guys] have said from your hearts. Thank God for the wonderful, godly men who have contributed to this excellent ministry!!
Thanks again!
Wow, this is so great, I’m tearing up also (Mom says it’s a girl thing). It is just so neat to know that we have so many fellow believers that really do care…
*Sniffle*
Wow. What an eye opener. Some things I never thought of turned out being a real temptation for guys; other things I was paranoid about the majority of the guys dissmissed. Very insightful.
Reading the guys responses to the questions in “General/Other” brought me to tears; Guys DO notice when we try, and they respect us for it. I mainly want to glorify God and get HIS attention, but how encouraging to hear that the guys respect and admire our show of character when we try. Thank you for the honest insight; I hope we - the girls - can now better serve you, for the the glory of God.
Wow!
I just want to thank all of you guys for doing this - especially those of you who put thought behind your text answers. The numbers are good to know, but to see what you guys are REALLY thinking about a certain subject is very helpful and enlightening!
I can’t wait to read the rest once the servers are up and running again. I figured something like this might happen, though - it’s just SO POPULAR!
;)
I think this was a good idea to do. A TON of girls at my church are totally trashy and even though I’ve never dressed immodestly, I felt out of place, lol. So at least I don’t feel like I’m the only girl that has her head on her shoulders anymore, seeing that other girls care about themselves as well~
Thanks Modesty Survey Team!!! This is absoluetly wonderful!! I am so impressed by the thoughtful text responses, and the clear way that the guys worded their answers! Thanks again, and we will *try* to be patient for the servers to come back up!!
WOW GUYS! You have gone above and beyond the call of duty… God Bless You (and I can’t wait until the survey is back up again… I’ve been trying to access it all afternoon!!!) : )
I have been looking at it a lot. I really love the way you did this! It’s cool how you can filter the results, but one suggestion is that you can filter the comments.
anyway, I was on here and my little (4 yo) brother was next to me. He was annoyed because I was on the survey a lot. Here is what he said: “Please, can’t you stop that girl stuff?”
:-D it was so funny
Thank you again
Elizabeth
Note: I was going to leave this comment a while ago, but then the site wouldn’t load! Praise God for all the people looking at it!
One last thing: how can I get one of those banner ads for the ‘good person test’
Wow! I have only been coming to the Rebelution for a few weeks, but the modesty survey had be very intrigued. I plan on leading a modesty bible study, and I now intend to supplement with this!!
Anyway, I want to say to all of those who participated and put it together, “Thank you!” I look forward to going over the results in greater detail and putting modesty even more into practice. May the Lord bring you all glory as you seek to follow His example “in speech, in love, in life, in faith, and in purity.”
WOW!!! This is fantastic. Would you believe I’ve already read most of the answers? I tried to get it up earlier and it was overloaded–definitely a good sign. Now I’ve gone through and been thrilled with the results–especially to see that so many guys, even younger teens, really care about this. I’ve been really blessed by this.
By the way, I love how so many of you made your responses funny! It was a way of telling us what we need to hear and doing it in a lighthearted way.
Thank You! I really have no other words. I now have gotten rid of some of my clothes and bought new ones b/c from what you have said they were stumbling blocks and ultimatly not honoring Christ.
Thank you so much, truely amazing!!! I really enjoy reading through all of the comments that you guys wrote out, they are especially helpful. Thank you for helping us to help you in the way we dress and act!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! It really touched my heart to know that there are so many guys out there who care enough about us girls to participate in this survey. I sometimes feel that there are no godly young men who care about modesty, and I have been greatly encouraged by this. May God bless you!
Wow, wow, wow! I have only read the results from the first five topics, but it’s been a real eye-opener. This is better than any gift I have ever received. Thank you Alex and Brett and the whole team for putting this on, and to all the guys who made it possible.
Wow. You guys have NO idea how eye-opening this is for us girls! I mean, the culture tells us a TOTALLY different story. I almost cried as I read the results. Thank you, dear brothers in Jesus.
In all honesty, it’s really hard to be modest nowadays. As in REALLY hard. But this has encouraged me to do my best. You do notice when we try to dress in a God-honoring way. And so does Jesus!
What a wonderful Valentine’s Day gift! Thank you to all the people who participiated. I’ve looked through most of it. Some of the answers fit with my feelings, and some were rather unexpected. This will definitely be a good resource.
This was very helpful to read through. Over the years, I’ve heard countless “modestly talks” and was frankly getting very sick of them, so I was surprised to actually learn a few new things. I discovered several styles that I never would have dreamed would be a problem actually scored remarkably high as being potential stumbling blocks. I was shocked.
Since I’m single this Valentine’s Day, I’ve decided to use the money I might have used on a Valentine to replace a few articles of clothing in my closet. I don’t enjoy spending long amounts of time shopping, actaully, I dislike shopping on a whole, but this is my Valentine’s Day gift to my brothers in Christ.
my fellow reblutions;
when I first stumbled upon this off of my search engine, I was very much drawn into the wonderful and encouraging idea of creating a modest survey, and was one of the many to check on this blog in hopes of seeing the results. Putting it up on valentines day was a wonderful idea, really - it was!
After reading the entire survey through, my once enthusiastic outlook was somewhat dampened, as I realized how much emphasis the male population stores in the female body.
To read that necklaces draw to much attention to my neck, and that the many shrugs I own are no longer just cute accessories to a modest t-shirt, rather makes me feel like a prostitute when I have tried to hard to be a Christian girl who remains modest without abandoning fashion. And, to find that my collarbone is also a stumbling block — well, now that’s just plain flattery *winks*
In reading the survey I realized that there were- correct me if I’m wrong - over one hundred questions, and that guys must have spent - correct me again- half an hour to an hour analyzing this stuff, recalling images they perhaps never were prompted before to take note of. I can only say that on my part, when I introduced the survey to my younger brother of nearly seventeen, although he agreed on the point of cleavage and skin -tight jeans and relevant examples, when it came to the points of high heeled shoes, black boots, and leggings, his comments were sprinkled with mirth. At the end, he turned to me and said, ‘you know - I’ve never even thought of a lot of these things; I never take notice of what girls wear. I mean, yea, sure, sometimes I look at a girl and say ‘that looks very attractive on her’, but that’s different than considering them a stumbling block’. — what a gentleman. You see, when my brother looks at a girl, he does so for the right reasons - and if he sees a girl who is wearing a two-piece bathing suit or bikini, he isn’t interested enough to keep his gaze.
In this survey, many of the comments were just - in my opinion cleavage and tight attire are worn for the wrong reasons and are immodest, and underwear showing in any circumstance is the height of vulgarity. But, when girls try to dress modestly, as I do - and are still called by the opposites a ’stumbling block’- I think we have to look seriously at the guys heart attitude and motives. After all, if they stare hard enough at the area where we wear underwear, they are bound to spot a line here or there - no lingerie is invisible. And if they imagine what is underneath a full skirt - which is in my opinion a fashionable way to be modest (for example, look http://www.anthropologie.com/jump.jsp?itemID=12366&itemType=PRODUCT&iSubCat=322&iMainCat=314) - then, of course it could be a stumbling block. Oh, for any guys who answered ‘yes’ on the full skirt question, I recommend you don’t click on that link - don’t want any imagery popping into your head.
For these reasons I will not be posting these results on my site, and if I may make a suggestion, it would be perhaps a good idea to do a series on purity for guys, training them to think in line with my brother; whom I had to brag about just one last time.
In closing, I do recognize that, as you stated, these are not intended to be strict, rigid rules, and my feelings perhaps are singular. I am still, however, discouraged by the results I read - and it made me perhaps be more self-conscious than I was previously, and can’t help feeling you guys have taken the fun our of donning a pair of cute heels, or wearing the special set of long - length pearls Mom bought me last Easter. Now, I will be thinking ‘what is he thinking’ and ‘ oh no, I want to hide’.
I want to thank you so much for the time and effort you guys spent in creating this survey, sifting through the questions, and for posting it on Valentines day - what a wonderful idea.
I hope to perhaps discuss this further, and thank you for allowing me to post my thoughts.
Oh! please please allow me to make a correction, in re-reading you survey, you all said that full skirts were not a stumbling block! forgive this injustice - it was unintentional, and proves how out of it I am!
I want to say a heartfelt thank you to all my brothers in Christ who DO appreciate those of us who try to dress modestly. It is not easy, both because of our sinful hearts (we can want to be lusted after as much as you are tempted to lust after us!), but also because just FINDING modest-yet-nice-looking clothes in our culture is next to impossible. I would still do it even if you did’t appreciate it, because ultimately I’m trying to honor God…but it is so encouraging to hear that it makes a difference.
It’s also nice to hear that you guys find modest girls attractive. It’s hard to be a girl in our culture, where looks and body image are so emphasized. Sometimes we modest girls feel unattractive. Thanks for telling us that’s a lie from the world!
And thanks so much for giving me a Valentine’s gift!!!!!
I know tons of girls have already said it, but thank you! This is an amazing amount of information, and it’s been so encouraging to me to read what you guys think about modest girls. Happy Valentine’s Day!
All I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you a million times over! This survey cleared up a lot for me and has given me many things to ponder and evaluate. As an unfortuante girl without brothers, I loved being able to read the opinions and thoughts from guys.
And to all the guys who participated in the survey, thank you so much for your honesty! I truly appreciate the time you took to help us out.
Thank you again to everyone who worked so hard on this survey; its is awesome and I think it will help many, many girls.
God bless, and happy Valentine’s Day!
Steph,
Thanks for your thoughtful comment! Please keep in mind that the responses are just tallies, and opinions on everything vary among Christian guys. For instance, in the part about messages on shirts, the largest vote was that they drew too much attention to the bust. I’ve met one Christian guy who prefers shirts without messages, but every other Christian guy I know has no problem. If I think that one guy’s going to be around, I’ll pick my shirt carefully, but otherwise I don’t worry too much about it.
Please, ask the Christian guys around you for feedback. It’s good that you asked your brother. The people around you are the ones who you need to be thinking most about (since they’re the ones who will see you), and their responses will quite likely differ from some of the points on the survey. The survey is a general guide, not an absolute one; it was taken from a sampling of guys, not all of them. Reactions to clothes differ, and if the people around you don’t have a problem with high heels (I can’t think of anyone I know who does; they just think they look painful) or a shrug, by all means go ahead.
Anna :
Thank you so much for your response, and for the reminder once again that the survey tallies the guys answers.
what bothers me is in reading the comments, I realized how much guys analyzed us - talking about busts in relation to overalls, and shrugs and skirts, and nylons - and I think that while we need to be careful of what we wear, guys need to be in charge of their minds. people say guys are so visual - well, just as guys don’t appreciate immodest girls, girls aren’t attractive to visual guys. Jane Austen’s perfect gentlement Mr. Darcy never once noticed her bust size; and Charlotte Bronte’s Mr. Rochester wasn’t concerned with it either. - Gentlemen are not thos who analyze you on you bust size, but those who occupy their minds with mor worthwhile endeavors.
Hence, I once again mention my brother
Steph(y)
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts regarding The Modesty Survey. Alex and I are very sorry that you were disappointed, but most importantly, we believe that you may be wrongly disappointed.
From what you said in your comment it seems that you may have mistakenly assumed that the statements that compose The Modesty Survey are the actual survey results. Actually, the statements are the survey’s “questions” that were designed to elicit an agreement or disagreement on the part of the participants.
For example, the statement, “Necklaces draw too much attention to the neck,” prompted disagreement from the majority men who took the survey, to a tune of 75%. Over 18% of guys were Neutral on this question, which means that only 7% of guys think necklaces are a problem. These percentages (along with the text responses explaining them) are the survey results. The statement is just one of the survey questions.
Does that make sense? If you feel you misunderstood the presentation of the survey, please take the time to go back and read through it again—clicking on each statement to see how guys responded to it. I think you will be much more encouraged this time.
Thank You!!
If you [girls] have not read the “Open Questions” yet….I strongly recommend it. Just a moment ago, I was weeping from all the heartfelt “Thank you”s and pleading…These are some amazing guys. I just read SOME of the responses, and I was blown away!! This is right were I was getting discouraged, thinking, “Why does it matter? They don’t even notice.”
Now seeing my error, I praise God for timing. These guys are talking about how Christ loves us for us. And how He will send us the right man, for a future husband…If we will only wait on His timing. It means SO much to me, how humble these men are…and how sincere, too. I’m still teary…I cannot begin to tell how much this means to me!!
Brett, Alex, Thank you, so much…God is doing something incomprehensible through you!!
Thanks!!
Sis in Christ!
Aimee B.
as I said in the previous statement, I did follow the directions, and am still disheartened that there isn’t a Mr. Darcy out there; perhaps those days are gone….
But, I appreciate your comment very much, and thanks for the enouraging words,
Steph(y)
I just finished reading the rest of the survey. Reading the answers to the Open Questions really encouraged me. It made me realize that guys really do want me to dress modestly. I have learned that it is easier for guys to lust, and we need to do them the favor (and give them the respect) to dress in modest way that does not attract the wrong kind of attention. Again, I can’t thank you enough. And thank you brothers, for caring.
Hi again! (I need to remember to comment everything once! I’ll submit a comment and then remember one more thing I want to say.) Are you going to continue to post the rest of the article written by Shannon Mueller? I was really interested in it, and just wondered if you were waiting until the survey results were running before the rest is posted.
My most heartfelt thanks to all of the men who made such a tremendous effort to give us this gift! I am blown away. I believe this is one of the most precious Valentines gifts that I have ever recieved. It is very encouraging to know that there are so many strong men of God that uphold modesty and chastity and virtue!
Well done! Thank you, and God bless everyone who contributed to this excellent project, and everyone who is privileged to partake of it.
THANK YOU! I will put more thoughts up later, when I am thinking a little more clearly! I really needed something to look forward to this Valentine’s DAY.
Amazing Job Survey Team!
The interface is awesome and so incredible slick. (just wondering did you guys use AJAX?)
I was imagining something with a lot less extras and I must say that I am throughly amazed at what ya’ll have pulled off. The entire thing is very well done and speaks of passion for the subject and dedication to present it well and understandably. Thank you for all of you hard work and perseverance.
May God bless your efforts and the Survey as it helps bring people closer to God in their walk.
Thank you so much to the team and the Alex and Brett for putting this all together. I haven’t gotten to read it all yet but the little I have has been really insightful. I am amazed at the organization and technical know how that you all brought to this. Thanks for even thinking of things like the filter by age and public/homeschool. It is phenomonal!
~Holly
This is so cool! I don’t have any brothers, so this was encouraging to me that I’m doing the right thing as far as dress goes, but I was also interested that there are some things I’m doing that could be distracting and I didn’t even realize it.
May God richly bless you!
PS. (Just a note to Steph(y): It’s interesting that you mentioned two male “heroes” in books that were written by women, perhaps like me it didn’t occur to them to write these things and maybe it was part of the culture of those writers not to talk about what they were really thinking, especially when it isn’t especially “good”.).
Thank you Alex, Brett, and everyone else who invested their efforts in organizing the jungle of answers and information. The mixture of encouragement and admonishment found in these answers is hitting me even now. I believe God will use this survey to His glory. Guys and girls alike will be greatly helped.
Just an observation, Steph… Mr. Darcy is a fictional character created by a woman. He was a gentleman, sure, (that’s why he’s the hero!) but the story and its characters are from a woman’s point of view, and, therefore, can’t really be used to define reality.
Ah, I notice someone else has already mentioned this…
It did my heart good to read the modesty survey results. I had almost begun to think there were no real men who valued purity over physical perfection.
Thank you, everyone! The results are way beyond anything I ever expected. I was very encouraged as I read the responses. Thanks for taking the time and for being open and honest about this because it will help. May each of us dress and conduct ourselves in a way that is pleasing and honoring to the Lord. Some of the responses brought tears to my eyes…even though modest dress is ultimately before the Lord, it is nice to know that other people appreciate it, too. So guys, I understand that it may be hard to say thank you in person…but thanks for communicating your appreciation via the survey.
Thank you very much Godly Men-In-Training.
Truly your labor for the Modesty Survey is not in vain. May the Lord reward you for your commendable Christian service.
I am very much excited to share the results with my friends. Thank you once again. ^_^
Great job on displaying those results so professionally!
I’ve got a small request though. It would be nice for those of us guys who participated in the survey to be reminded of what we answered. Could make it possible to log in like we did when answering the questions so that our own response is displayed first? Thanks.
It would also be good if there were at least one strongly agree, one neutral and one strongly disagree text responses chosen for each question. Sometimes you have to click ‘read more text responses’ to get someone with a different point of view!
As for the results, so far they haven’t surprised me too much. But then, I am male.
Knowing what clothes we wear and things we do that make you, guys, stumble is a big help to us in helping you with your battles.
There were some clothes or manner of dressing that I thought don’t really matter or cause guys to stumble, but I just learned from this survey that they do distract, and moreover, put guys in their battlefields.
With the insights I had from the Modesty Survey, I am enbled to dress in a God-glorifying way.
Sisters in Christ, we men in society have miserably failed at appreciating true womanhood. On behalf of every man out there who has painted a distorted picture in your life of what a real woman is, especially along the lines of modesty, I apologize deeply. There are many Godly men out there, as I’m sure this survey will prove, that are dying to give you their utmost respect when you choose to follow God’s leading in this area of modesty in your life. We back you up all the way and want to do anything we can to help you. And we ask that you do all you can to help us as we struggle through this world of sin together.
Whoever wrote that, thank you!!! With the guys I know, lately I have been utterly despairing in the hope of finding a Godly, wonderful husband in the future. Thank you so much, Alex and Brett, for doing the Modesty Survey. I love the results, and I learned a lot of things that I didn’t know could be looked at in a bad way before. From the results, most of my clothes and the things that I do are considered ‘modest’, but there’s a few things that I need to correct. Thank you so much, and may God bless you in your wonderful ministry.
I don’t have anything profound to say, but thanks guys, a million times =) I am telling my friends about it. God Bless You!
Your sister in Christ,
Naomi Elizabeth
Like you all need another voice saying “thank you”…but here it is anyway.
Of course to Alex and Brett, Katrina, and David–but also all the other people who aren’t going to get specifically mentioned. You are thanked.
I’d just like to add that the text responses are almost more influential than the statistics. Now we just need a PFD or SOMETHING that we can print up to give to people who aren’t going to get to see this…
This is great! Thank you to all who participated, this will be very helpful. May I copy the results into a document on my computer for fast reference? I’m hoping to join the fashion design industry and this kind of information would be very helpful for me when I’m trying to design modest clothing.
Steph, I don’t claim to be a hero like Mr. Darcy… But I think the whole goal of modesty is to draw a man’s attention to a women’s character instead of her appearance, and I can say that I personally don’t “analyze” a women’s physical appearance when she is dressed modestly. When a woman is dressed immodestly, it naturally draws attention to her physical appearance, and I think even a hero has to make the choice not to dwell on her appearance.
‘good..meditate on these things’
I do not think that the term good changes from season to season, or from one century to another - in fact, I think that the openess of discussion about private matters has been a great drawback on society. Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte created the perfect gentlemen in novels;and my guess is they did it because they were hard pressed to find one in their own society. Oh! how I relate to this.
As this will be my last comment on this topic; allow me to say this -the responses to this survey from many girls have been eager, enthused, and humble in assuming that any visual a guy recieves is entirely our fault ; when, in reading the survey, I was struck with the complete opposite. No one but themselves control their thinking, and it reaches the point on being perverse when a guy is thinking during a wedding ceremony only of the activity which will go on behind closed doors that night - or when a guy looks at a modest v neck and casts his eyes immediatly on what is below it. Many of these answers proved to me that guys nowadays are increasingly becoming more visual, and well, how very sad it is.
Many of the girls on this sight have been absolutely sweet in calling the responders to the survey ‘gentlemen’ - however, not attach this name to many of the responses I witnessed. Many of the answers in my view showed the hearts and attitudes of a modern day guy.
In closing, we girls should all dress with one goal in mind; Christ, whom is the sould person we wish to please. With this in mind, modesty will never be a problem.
Thank you so much again, and I would to read any responses,
Steph(y)
oh…the bible verse at the beginning, Phil 4:8 - whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report…..meditate on these things.
As a MOTHER of a 12 year old girl and 16 year old boy I have found this absolutely fascinating. You all have done a wonderful job with this may God be glorified in the results.
This survey has prompted many conversations between my children and me, especially my daughter. She is by nature a modest child, and I do not have to work too hard to steer her in the “right” direction. She wrote a paper yesterday for Bible study and said she would rather be dressed modestly and thought strange than look like the world. Does a mother’s heart good! Now lets see what happens in about 3-5 years.
My 16 year old son thought much in line with the other young men and adult men who answered the survey. Black boots for instance are just black boots. I praise God that he does indeed see things like this and he too does agree with the idea of necklaces and other accessories. They are fine unless they should follow a plunging neck line.
Steph(y) men like Mr. Darcy and your brother or even my son are not the norm. Appreciate that there are so many young men striving for this kind of ideal in a pronofied society, where women have been taught that it is okay to flaunt it if you got it–even if you do not. I am with you this gave me much to think about as well as my daughter. This kind of honesty is rare, rejoice that they were willing to be so open about their feelings, and consider the things they said and since you think so highly of your brother and his opinion make sure you seek it in this area.
I would like to say also how much I appreciated the group of 40-49 that took the time to respond. I am 37 being modest is much more important to me now than it was say 20 years ago, and not because I am the mother of 5, but because of the work of Christ for me and in me that has made all the difference.
I am looking forward to reading the open responses, but I will probably wait until the newness has wore off–it just will not load.
One last thought, I found this site from a link on Ladies Against Feminism (LAF) and I poke in weekly at least. I commend Alex and Bret for leading against the popular culture and making a stand for godliness and excellence in this generation. Your generation, that being of my children also, can do great things if you continue to live for our God and Savior.
Steph: You have some good thoughts. My concern is that you seem so offended by the battle with the flesh undertaken by all Christian men. It can be overwhelming to learn the extent of men’s struggles, especially since it is so different from the way women think. But I would encourage you to remember that the young men taking this survey are strong Christian guys, the best of the pure, and they are fighting with all their hearts to defeat this sin. They are not blaming the women, they are asking for help. And if they have this struggle, that means 99% of men do.
My concern for you, Steph, is that your idealism will be crushed eventually by someone close to you, and you won’t be able to recover. This survey is an excellent glimpse into the struggles even Christian men face. To be perfectly blunt, many of the women who are crushed by the discovery that their Christian husband is looking at pornography are the ones who deny that such a thing were even possible. Not that it is their fault or responsibility, but their support and understanding can make a huge difference. And the men who fall that way are often the ones who refuse to be humble and honest about their strugges—the way these 1,600 men have been. Honesty is always the first step in dealing with sin.
I hope you can see my concern in writing this. I don’t mean to condemn you! But there are millions (if not billions) of non-Christian men in the world who see nothing wrong with undressing you in their minds, and you are disgusted with the men who hate doing that, and want your help.
The biggest problem I had with the survey was this: In the conservative church where I grew up, the message we girls were given was that if we knew for a fact that something we wore caused a guy to stumble, the only correct response was to not wear that item again. One of the comments on this site a couple of weeks ago was that girls would now be held accountable for the things that were said in this survey — in other words, maybe we had no idea that something was a problem for guys before, but now we do, so it’s wrong for us to wear that thing now. But where do we draw the line? For example, 11.8% of the guys surveyed said that it was wrong for a girl’s calf to show. 14.5% said nude stockings were a stumbling block. Yes, they were definitely in the minority, and in both of those, the majority were either neutral or strongly disagreed with those statements. But the fact remains that greater than one in ten guys surveyed has a problem with each of those things. In fact, in reading through the survey, I don’t think I own a stitch of clothing that someone, somewhere, doesn’t have a problem with. Am I now “accountable” to throw away all things that cause some guy I’ve never even met to stumble? At what percentage point do we say, “Hey, this is a problem, I should stop wearing it” and at what point do we say “Well, that’s just a few guys, they can turn their eyes away.”
Thank you so much for the survey! I am hoping to tell all my youth group about it, because though immodesty is not extreme in our church, it does exist.
I think that overall, the results are very balanced. Yeah, there are a few guys who say high heels are a stumbling block, but the majority do not. There are good comments modifying their opinions, such as pointing out that high heels with a short skirt are, of course a problem, but wouldn’t be under modest circumstances! Steph, please don’t feel that just because there are a few guys who think something is a stumbling block, that you have to get all irritated about it. Take the survey with a grain of salt.
And Survey team, thank you for all the effort made to sort through the comments. I really like this comment, about high heels. “They might be a stumbling block to girls… I don’t see how they walk in those things!”
In questions that I have had before, I received good insights. For example, I am a ’smaller’ girl on top, and so it was interesting to hear that to a certain extent, a smaller girl should be just as modest as a ‘larger’ one, but that, on the other hand, she doesn’t have to worry as much. It makes sense.
Wow. That was an eye-opener! Thanks so much to everyone who made this possible:o) Thank you very much all of you guys who signed the petition, showed your apprecition for girls who try to dress modestly, and who bluntly and honestly shared their struggle.
Girls think so differently it is very hard to even catch a glimpse of what guys struggle with, but this survey gave us that glimpse )
This is so helpful, I really appreciate your time and effort that was put into making this so detailed and clear! Thanks ;o)
Wow! The results are amazing. As a 30 year old wife and mother I was suprised by some of the survey responses but most were what I expected. Young ladies if you are bothered that “good Christian” young men notice “too much” of the female form right now you will be thankful later. When your husband is completely captivated by the form you kept hidden just for him that is the most romantic thing in the world. This “noticing” has it’s place and the guys shouldn’t looked down upon for being wired the way God made them.
Wow! The results were above and beyond what I expected. Thank you to all the men who took this survey - I really appreciate your opening your hearts for us a little and showing us what our clothing (or lack thereof) is doing to you. It makes me a little sad to think of the struggle and frustration and, probably, grief that you have to suffer because of us. I for one will be going through my wardrobe and weeding out the things I shouldn’t be wearing. And ladies - please, let’s all do our best to help our men with this gigantic battle that rages in their minds and hearts. They need it so!
I am frankly surprised at the amount of excitement over the modesty survey results. I found that the results were generally what I expected: skimpy bathing suits, underwear showing, very short skirts, etc. are immodest. Questions I was surprised to find on the survey (eg. are necklaces immodest?) did not turn out to be a huge concern among men. I think Steph(y) mentioned something along the lines that the detail in the survey probably caused men to think more about this than they had before.
Common sense when dressing is still the answer. (Its a scary thought when girls can’t figure out what is appropriate.)
Thank you so much. I love the detailed and careful work you put into this! I got some good answers to my own questions about what not to do and wear, and even better, a burst of joy and hope that yes, I can be modest and lovely.
Thank you so much! It’s awesome for us girls to know that there are guys out there who notice when we dress modestly! It encourages me to know there are guys who want to marry a girl who isn’t showing off everything she’s got. The comments were great, especially the suggestions as to how we might do better. A big thank you to everybody who was involved with this!
THANK YOU SO MUCH. This will help change how I think about dressing modestly. I am amazed. I can’t thank you all enough for your time and effort for making this possibe. I’m going to email a copy of the results to all of my friends.
I would like to say once again that I am so pleased with the survey. What girl among us all has not at one point wondered what a guy is thinking? This is a chance to find out about clothes and modesty at least.
It seems some people are looking at the survey and being insulted because they feel they are being blamed for a guy’s thoughts. It isn’t like that! It’s like looking at jewelry in a store. Sure you aren’t supposed to steal the jewelry, but the owners aren’t going to leave the valuable stuff out on the counter to tempt you.
We (guys AND gals) have a mutual responsibilty to RESPECT each other. Girls need to respect that some clothes make a guy struggle and knowing that, we need to do our best to help them. This survey was taken by Christian guys who are trying so hard to respect us by keeping their thoughts, etc. pure; let’s make it a little bit easier on them by our choices in clothing.
It is my honor to help you brothers! Thank you for this!
To all the brothers in the Lord who put so much time and thought into answering the survey, I wish I could thank you each personally!!! Modesty and the heart attitude behind it are very important to me as a christian girl. I want to honor the Lord with my dress, and obey scripture that teaches us to “adorn yourselves with modesty”…And just like any other christian who desires to please the Lord, but wonders sometimes if it is worth ALL THE TIME AND ENERGY, we need encouragement, and that is what I have come away with!!! to be honest, after hearing a little bit of the survey from my sisters who had read it, I sort of avoided the computer…I was a little nervous to read it, but, I knew it was going to be very helpful and encouraging…AND IT WAS JUST THAT!!!!! Your responses were humble, candid, grace-filled,poetic, funny, simple, and very very helpful. I am freshly reminded of how important and wonderful taking the time to look for modest clothing is!! I would also strongly encourage any girl struggling with a feeling of condemnation or discouragement, or self-righteousness toward the guys(who struggle in different areas than ourselves) in reading the survey, to ask the Lord to soften your heart to see what He might be putting His finger on in your life reguarding modesty. They put this together to be a thorough, helpful aid to learning how we, as sisters in the Lord, can better serve our brothers, fathers, friends, boyfriends, and how we may be better witnesses to the world who, likewise, DO NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE…not to discourage us and make us feel as if we might as well were a quilt over our heads. Thank you again! Belle
Thank you so much to all the Christian guys who helped put this together!
I desire to be modest and glorify God…Now I can understand a little more about how I can help my brothers in Christ!
This is AMAZING!! So far I haven’t had to change my style of dress very much, but it is SO encouraging to hear that guys appreciate modesty! I love the text responses. Thank you everyone who had anything to do with the survey!!!
That scared me. I didn’t realize you were supposed to click on the statements. I thought the statements WERE the results!
I was about ready to tell the guys of the world to poke their eyes out if they thought that a slit in the cuff of my blouse was a “stumbling block”, because obviously they needed medical help…
Okay. Now I know, and I can read it better.
I do have to say, though, that I doubt anything said here will change the way I dress. I believe myself to be very modest, and I try to keep my mindset that way. I refuse to be dictated to by a poll, as it is as much a guy’s problem to guard his own heart as it is mine to keep his eyes from wandering.
I’ve done my part, now it’s time for him to do his.
RE: Transparent sleeves-
“If a man sees that your sleeves are transparent then they may check to see if any of the rest of our shirt is.” -Age 14
Well, if it’s not, if it is covering, then I have done my part, and it’s the guy’s job to exert some self control and not try and see what he can oggle.
Y’know, the bare feet question was interesting. Most guys had absolutely no problem, but I feel very… “free” barefooted. Not immodest, but different than if I’m shod. More open, I guess.
RE: The Responsibility of Men in Modesty
“A man’s responsibility is to: 1. Avert his eyes from that which might lead him to lust. 2. Avoid those places (whether physical or virtual) where seductive images abound. 3. Praise modesty wherever he finds it. 4. Demonstrate modesty in speech, in action, and in clothing. 5. Not to look down on those who are immodest, but to treat them with dignity. 6. Not to blame his stumbling on the immodesty of another. To do that would be to take the same line of reasoning as the rapist who says, “The way she was dressed, she was asking for it.”" -Age 28
Fantastic, Fantastic, Fantastic!!! It is so very enouraging! Thankyou!!! I thoroughly enjoy reading the text responses and being uplifted by the thought that there are actually guys out there that care enough about their sisters in Christ that they take time to notice and say ‘Thanks!’. I really appreciate all the effort that went into this.
Sheila
PS. Elsie and Margaret: Yes, girls should already know most of this, but that’s not the point. Maybe they don’t, or maybe it’s just so very encouraging to see young men helping young girls to glorify God in this way! That’s how I feel!!
Elsie: It’s not that we didn’t know some of this already, but more that we are encouraged that there are guys out there who care if we choose to dress modestly. Yes to Sheila! I feel that way too.
Just wanted to add another sincere “thank you” to the tally above me!
Even coming from a home that values modesty, some of the answers surprised me. When I was sharing my responses with my dad, he seemed amazed at my “naivety”. It’s helpful understanding what guys are thinking even about ‘little’ things, because the conclusions girls ‘logically’ arrive at seem to be rather far from the truth!
Thanks again to you all for giving up valuable school, family, friends, and free time (if that word is even in your vocabularies!) to compile the survey…. and thank you to all of you who took it. We really do appreciate it. =)
Kristy,
By no means do you have to throw out all those clothes! There will always be someone, somewhere who objects to what you’re wearing. But you can either please some of the people all of the time, or all of the people some of the time. If the minority includes a lot of the Christian guys you’re around, take that into account. If the people you know don’t have a problem, though, you’re probably fine. This isn’t a list of rules; opinions on things vary from guy to guy. Plus, the guys do have a big responsibility to try to guard themselves, and we can’t control their minds.
Ask the Christian guys around you for feedback. They’re the ones who are going to see you most. The survey is guidelines, not absolutes. I haven’t found a single question where there weren’t answers in all five degrees.
Elsie, for me it wasn’t so much that I needed to be told every thing on the survey (although there were some things that I hadn’t really thought about) for me it was more about the encouragement that guys really do notice and appreciate modesty. That is something that we don’t hear very often. I think that it was so great that the guys encourage us this way.
I have to admit I was excited about this survey, but a little skeptical at the same time. I thought the results might be more extreme than they turned out to be (i.e. I thought there would be more guys who said girls shouldn’t wear anything but dresses/skirts–a standard that I don’t find workable).
I was surprised–pleasantly so–to find that the survey respondents actually seemed quite balanced (for the most part). I am suitably impressed. Thanks to everyone who helped out–I think this was a great project.
I agree with David Daniel it would be nice to be able to view our own answers, I think that it would be interesting to look at my answers in say 5 years and see how my beliefs have changed and how i have grown.
Tonight is the first time I came across this website, and only because Sharper Iron had a link posted to it on their blog.
To all gentlemen who participated in this survey: Thank you for your honesty in your struggle with the area of lust. Unfortunately, far too often we have been unwilling to honestly and openly discuss this issue in our churches. Lust is one of those “hush-hush” issues we tend to ignore until something big happens in our churches, and even then, we aren’t always very honest about what’s really going on. I have been greatly blessed by what I have seen in these results as a man, as I know that I am not the only guy who is doing my part to fight the good fight of faith, and remain pure for my future wife (I have always known this, but it’s always encouraging to publicly see this).
I have been very grateful for those who have spent the time and money in making things like this and Josh Harris’ book on the subject of lust possible. These are the things that help us to see what the root problem is: it’s a matter of the heart that is supposed to love God with all of our hearts, with all of our souls, and with all of our MINDS; we need to love our sisters in Christ even as God loves us.
Thank you for all the time and effort so many of you put into this survey. Modesty in dress and attitude has always been my aim, yet as girls, we so often don’t realize how we cause guys to stumble. I haven’t been able to read all the results yet, but I just had to drop a comment and say how encouraged I was by all the comments concerning modesty being important to guys, and that modest girls DO make a difference! Living in a culture that screams for girls to wear skimpy clothing, it is a great encouragement to know that guys do appreciate the extra effort it takes to dress modestly and attractively.
Again — thank you for doing the survey, and I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the results!
Ok. Guess you can be happy now that you know guys appreciate modesty, eh? One of the reasons that I don’t like the survey is the fact that guys (and girls, or course) are supposed to keep their minds pure and the survey is making them think about the parts of our bodies that they shouldn’t be. I would NEVER have recommended that any of my guy friends or my brothers take the survey.
I have really enjoyed looking through the modesty survey statistics! Technology sure is amazing!
I would be very curious to know whether breastfeeding is considered modest among Christian guys. If the person is nursing a baby and the baby and everything is totally covered with a blanket, is it modest? Or should a lady always leave the room to nurse her baby?
My older brother, Joel, just contacted me and shared three concerns he had with my last comment to Steph. I changed that last comment slightly, but I also wanted to post these clarifications here:
First of all, my last comment could be taken to imply to a Christian lady or wife that if her husband looks at pornography it is her fault because she “failed to support and protect him”. The truth is, just as a Christian guy who struggles with lingerie newspaper ads before he is married will probably still have to battle with that after he is married, so also a Christian guy who has a struggle with pornography before he is married will, in most cases, still struggle with it after he is married. His problem is lust and it is his problem.
Second, my comment could be taken as implying that the only men that fall in this way are the ones who refuse to be humble and honest about their struggles. There are thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) of Christian men who are humble and honest about their struggles… and yet they still struggle! Perfection does not zap them like a lightning bolt.
Thirdly, it could seem that I was saying that none of these 1,600 men who have been humble and honest about their struggles (by sharing their thoughts in the survey) struggle at all with pornography, which is most certainly untrue.
Hope that eliminates any misunderstandings. Other than those misinterpretation, I do stand by what I said and encourage Steph (and girls like her) to consider these thoughts. I share them only out of love and concern.
The only answer that genuinely surprised me was about immodesty being a problem among family members. I’ve no father and no brothers, so I grew up in an all-female home and it was never an issue. A young lady I know from church, however, had a rather severe reaction to that question — it deeply shook her innocence, I think. The idea that her brothers may struggle with lust about her was revolting, but it also caused her to question if her father may perhaps have similar struggles. This is a distressing idea for her (and if I had a father or brothers, I imagine it would be for me, as well) and I’ve really no notion of how to comfort her at the moment. Can any of the men who took the survey shed some light?
I love surveys! I absolutelly love them… Best thing invented by man. Mass information in a small amount of space.
Survey about modesty = absolutelly BRILLIANT!!! I am jumping for joy over the results: My chance to hear what hundreds of guys are actully saying about how I dress and how it affects them.
I am so tickled to know that all gals don’t have to wear sacks (like many of them today think they need too…) and that I was doing some things right (and that Hip Pants are still in if you wear a long camisol tucked in ha ha)
The questions are brilliant. They were the ones I had in my very own head. It basically covered every question I had. “Cept one, (it was a weird question
I learned that some of the ways of my conduct could possibly be a stumbling block to people like my brother and Dad, so I’ll watch out for these things. Anyhow. I KNOW now, there is no doubt about it.
Real guys giving
…real answers
…to real questions!
Praise God for the genius!
(Can you tell I”m excited? haha)
There is only one other thing I have to say. With all the questions, almost no exeption their remained one condition: The attitude of the heart. That struck me as I was reading and it strikes me as I’m typing here. It isn’t about sacky cloths or legaliticness… Its how the heart is. I.E. You can be dressed in a sacky dress (following all the legalistic rules) and still be the most seductive of women. Human Beings always want to make a bunch of rules about things so they have solid answers. This issues is harder than that. It’s dealing with your heart. And there are different areas of black and white depending on the person. There is no one rule fits all.
Guidlines are good, like this survey shows, but I bet, if you get the heart right and the rest follows, just as good as a cart behind a donkey.
(A lady with a heart to please God and hence be modest, will strive to know what really causes her brothers to stumble, leading her to this fabulous modesty survery, leading her to a conviction, of how they are dressing as modest or immodest, and to change! (or not change)
Cheers!
To God be all the glory! Amen!
You survey makers, and coordinaters, and all the people involved in this survery (as well as all the guys who had to answer a million questions and esp. to the ones who left text responses as well) YOU ROCK!!!
Eternal Monsoons of Blessings,
Beth
P.S. If you don’t know what a monsoon is, find and Arizonian and ask them
Holly: Thank you so much for that question. Here are some thoughts on the results you see: First, the strength of the vote on that particular question is largely due to many young men who were (understandably) unwilling to say that immodesty is ever not a problem, even though it isn’t a personal problem for them. Second, most who made any indication that immodesty in their own family was a problem also said that it was much less of a problem than immodesty outside the family—and indicated that is was usually a problem of being uncomfortable, not actually struggling with lustful thoughts. Finally, only a few (out of over 1,600) expressed that it was more than an infrequent problem.
Ultimately, the message of that question is that young ladies should practice discernment and propriety in dress and behavior, which is the same message as the other 147 questions. It is unwise (and unbiblical) to think that it is impossible for sin to infiltrate the home. To tell the truth, I was one of the guys who strongly agreed with the conclusion of that particular question. Now let me tell you what that means:
I do many, many things with my dear (and only) sister that I would never do with a girl outside my family. There is great freedom, trust and love between close siblings. When Brett and I review outfits for our sister, any encouragement for her to change something is never due to its being a stumbling block to us, but because it could be a stumbling block to another guy. There is a difference. However, were our sister ever to come out wearing an extremely low-cut top and mini-skirt (she would never do this), we would ask her to change, even if no other guys would see her. Our sister is in a special (and very good!) category, but it doesn’t make it impossible for her to be immodest around us. I believe that truth is what you (and your friend) see reflected in the results.
I feel a little late coming down here to the bottom and offering up my thanks as well. But, I spent the whole day yesterday (Valentine’s Day) promoting the survey - handing out cards, sending emails, uploading my blog, have debates about modesty with other teens and encouraging as many people as I could to get on and take a look.
Well, I didn’t get on until after the server restarted and I was blown away by what was (basically) handed to me on a silver platter. I have been waiting my whole life for something like this to come out and it was so awesome. Thank you to all the guys who answered the question, the Survey team who put it together and Alex and Brett for working so hard on it.
I only became a Rebelutionary a couple months ago and already The Rebelution has changed my life. I just want to praise God for the amazing effect the Survey and the Rebelution in general is already having in our country. Thank You Lord!
Thank you, Alex. That’s very helpful and helps explain the seeming lopsidedness of the answers to that question. Being a lot older than my young friend, I wasn’t shocked at the answers to that question per se, but I definitely was by the percentages. Thanks for clarifying that “problem,” in that sense, does not equate to “burning with lust over my sister/cousin/daughter.”
I have to admit I am very disappointed with the results of the survey. I was intrigued from the very beginning, and I thought this would be an opportunity to see what what some guys honestly think. If the answers had been simply the ratings I think this would have been much better. But I found myself sickened by the descriptive nature of the textual responses, and I was unable to finish reading the results. Yes, this is what they are really thinking, yes us girls do need to know these things, but for NO (I repeat NO) reason should we be subjected to this kind of language. Biology is something everyone knows about, but a young man with a girl’s best intrests at heart will NOT go into detail describing certain parts of her body. I think some of these answers were brought out by the questions, some questions I feel were out of bounds. I admire your desire to encourage girls to dress modestly, and yes, I learned a few things. But I still feel that men should not use their struggle with lust as a crutch. God says that our bodies are beautiful, and they are our husbands. This doesn’t mean just in what you look, or talk about. This is also with your words. When I read the responses on the survey I felt dirty, abused, and trashy. In no way did this edify my spirit, and encourage me that my body is valuable to God, and my future husband.
Brett;
Thank you for taking the time out to express your concerns from a Godly perspective, this is very much appreciated!
lol - yes, I suppose you could call me some what of an idealist; and you are absolutely right that the first step in dealing with sin is recognizing you have th problem and being honest while doing so,
My problem is this ; i have read so many comments from the girls above, who have taken their time to say how much they appreciate the survey, how they didn’t realize that guys that guys were in such a dire and embattled struggle against us girls ;how they want to change - in a sense, we are like the fruit tree in the garden of Eden.
Yes, let’s take a look at that tree; God put it there - and what did he say about it? He said don’t touch it. Hm. Did he say…..anything else? um…*checks Bible*…nope, nothing. Just, merely, simply, ‘don’t touch it’. He didn’t delve into long discussions with Adam about how he knew it would a struggle, his thoughts, his feelings — nothing was discussed openly. God gave a command.
Later, Paul discusses in 1 Corinthians, and follows God’s example in simply saying that those who do it, will not inherite the kingdom of heaven.
My point is this; All throughout the Bible God is very clear. He knew what men were up against, but ???????. To quote one of my favorite lines from the move ‘Walk the line’
God said..
‘Don’t touch it, he didn’t say don’t think about touching it — don’t think about thinking about touch it, God said don’t touch it’.
Maybe that isn’t word for word,but I know it’s close.
Anyways - what many of the answers in the survey reflected was this new age belief about ‘expressing oneself’ and it’s ok to ‘come out of the closet about your struggles’. Many of the girls have treated the boys who answered this survey like heroes ; they expressed their true feelings - they were honest. Hm, this reminds me of the media who condones the homosexuals who struggle with the ‘natural’ way they are.
For isn’t that what you are saying when you say guys are ‘naturally’ attracted to pornograhy - it’s the way God made them — it’s not their fault. This mirrors exactly why we have a problem with homsexuality, and — oh what’s the word called - ‘gender changes’. ‘God makes me feel like a girl, i can’t help it - even if I am a guy.’ And in fact, God makes it clear that the body is not naturally attracted to sexual immorality by saying in 1 Corin. 6:13 ‘now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.’ - God obviously did not make the body naturally attracted to sexual thoughts.
He didn’t create you were naturally attracted to pornography and such. He was quite clear in commandments, and he expected you to obey them. Never once does he say ‘girls, thou shalt not be a temptation to men whom I have made naturally attracted to thee’. -
He said ‘adorn yourselves in modest apparal, with propiety and moderation….which is proper for a woman professing godliness, with good works’.
And this obviously rules out cleavage and tight jeans. He wasn’t saying’dress so you don’t tempt’ but dress in a way pleasing to God.
God says if your right hand offends you, cut it off - he didn’t say recognize the offence, treat it honesty, struggle with it, talk to it, — he treated the manner very bluntly. Guys, i think we need to get the axe out and start cutting off some limbs.
Such are my continued thoughts,
steph(y)
I realize my paragraph is not completly edited, I didn’t have the time to - sorry for the big ???? in the middle- it’s what I do when I write!
I think you get the point, though
Just wanted to add to the “thank you’s”! As a single, young woman I want to know how to best serve my Master and Brothers in Christ in every aspect of my life. Even though I strive for modesty, it is wonderful to know what exactly affects men. Thank you to all those who submitted the questions, for those who answered them, and those who put this all together. Much time, effort, and love went into this.
“…present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”
Thank you SO much to all the guys that put so much time into this survey for us. I’m sure I can speak for all the girls here when I say it is much appreciated!
Only1Life, I am sorry that you felt that way. May I suggest that your father screen your reading for you more closely in the future? That may save you some distress. I am a good deal older than the Harris twins, and I am extremely impressed with how hard they worked to draw the line in a Christ-honoring place. There are some whose standards would call it scandalous that you, a young and unmarried woman, are even discussing these things with anyone except your parents and pastor. Others have standards that would draw the line in a less conservative place, as you obviously do, since you’re here talking about it. In discussing these important matters, a line has to be drawn somewhere. I believe it’s obvious that, under the authority and guidance of their godly parents, the Harris twins have done their best to draw the line in a place that’s both honest and protective of their sisters in Christ.
Only1Life4Jesus: Did you read the responses to some of the “Open Questions” and the initial questions in the “General/Other” categories? I, for one, was immensely encouraged by some of those responses in particular! If you didn’t read them yet, please do before you dismiss the survey as “sickening” and “abusive.” I believe that, when used with a prayerful heart, this survey can be a valuable resource.
The ratings don’t carry much weight alone, as far as I’m concerned. It’s the text responses that really help you see what the guys meant, why they said it, and how they interpreted the question. I think they are a big help in keeping things as guidelines, rather than “thou shalt nots” and help to explain the principles behind the answer. Those principles can then carry over into other things that were not specifically mentioned.
Yes, some responses to some things might be a bit blunter than they could have been, but I found that, overall, the survey was very balanced and respectful. I am thanking God for the guys who have shared such encouragement to assist us in remaining pure and holy for God’s glory.
I hope you will consider reading the open responses, if nothing else. They might change your perspective. But if not, thank you for caring enough to share your concerns.
Wow. I was interested in this survey from the first announcement, and now that I’ve seen it I’m not really sure how to respond. Some parts were great. I was quite glad to know that guys notice the efforts of modest girls and that they think too much make-up is nasty. I do too, so I don’t wear it (I figure, if you don’t like my face the way it is, then just don’t look at it ). However, I kept getting sort of irritated with some of the questions. Having every little thing you do picked apart and examined like a bug under a microscope is kind of … dehumanizing. Of course, I guess if we wanted to know what guys think (and I did) and since all questions were submitted by girls (I even submitted a few), there’s really no other way to handle the topic (aside from “use common sense”). What got me so upset was probably coming face-to- face with the harsh reality that guys notice EVERYTHING. It’s kind of unnerving. However, the fault for that clearly doesn’t lie on the survey itself. Uncomfortable as some parts were to read, I appreciate the wakeup call. And I really loved the answers to the first few questions about how guys appreciate and notice modesty. I always kind of thought that the “hot” (or even just pretty) girls were the ones they noticed (I guess I thought that because the whole point of modesty is, to some extent, not to be noticed). Anyway, thanks to everyone who participated in this.
I think you would do well to read Paul’s words about not knowingly causing a fellow believer to stumble.
Remember, too, that part of the Lord’s Prayer, as we term it, states “Lead us not in to temptation, but deliver us from evil”
No one is saying that men are not 100% responsible for keeping a tight rein on lustful thoughts and desires. However, if we women can help make this burden lighter, why shouldn’t we? We’re following the example set by our Savior when we help others in their struggles.
I’m just wondering if its possible if there’s anyway to get a printout of the whole survey, as next week my youth group is splitting into gusy and girls, and we want to study the results with the girls at the church… and we don’t have computer access there! Is there a summary of the results or something that highlights the main points?
Finding out just what a struggle the average (Christian or not) man has with lust can be overwhelming. Many of us start feeling as if we would have to wear burkhas in order not to be a stumbling block to men.
My suggestion - start with the basics. No skin-tight clothing, no cleavage, no short skirts or short shorts. Just these simple eliminations will go a long way towards a more modest appearance!
Ask G-d for help, and as time goes on, you’ll find it easier to manage procuring a modest wardrobe!
Thank you for the clear explanation you gave to Holly’s question. Many girls have been asking the same question (me being one of them ), and it helped clarify some misconceptions. =)
And, Holly, thanks for asking the “unasked question”!
wow! amazing job! now i’ve got a basic idea of what i need to work on. and to all those guys out there that i know and/or have been around… sorry for anything i’ve ever done to make you think inpure thoughts.
You’re welcome, Becky. Boldness is not my forte in general, but I knew that my young friend couldn’t be the only young lady who read those numbers and felt a bit shaken. I really appreciate the clarification he offered.
Thank you guys for all your input and time! What I would have given to have this avaliable to me before I was married. I thank God every day for giving me a wonderful Godly Christian husband. All this info would have been great to know. I really had no idea what men thought about things like this before I met my husband. I didnt even think men looked or thought twice about girls who were modest, and that was me. I didnt wear the skimpy clothes and therefore was usualy passed up and not looked at, or so I thought. I honestly thought I’d be unmarried forever. Thank you Jesus for these awsome men who want to please You! And thank you for giving me a wonderful husband!
All in all, I felt the survey was very well-balanced. The text responses were especially helpful, as they gave the guys a chance to say why they agreed or disagreed, or to point out any possible exceptions to their stance. However, there was one that really irked me — the question about whether seeing a girl’s chest bounce when she walks or runs being a stumbling block. As a somewhat top-heavy female, I can testify that there is NO apparel out there that will completely do away with this problem. If there was, I would have purchased it already! Granted, most of the guys in their text responses said something along the lines of “…but I shouldn’t be looking there anyway” but I felt that having the question there at all…I don’t know…kind of validated the fact that guys are looking — especially the text responses that were along the lines of “girls should think before they just take off running.” You might as well have asked whether a guy lusts when he sees a girl’s elbow bend, or over the fact that she has a nose — because while I can do plenty to change the length of my skirt or the tightness of my blouse if I know a guy is going to have a problem, there is NOTHIN
February 14th, 2007 at 9:39 am
I just had to be the first comment! Thanks all of you who made my dream a reality! I absolutely love the results!
Great job, everyone!
February 14th, 2007 at 9:40 am
I LOVE IT!!! I’m in awe. It is really really great. Thank you all who made this possible!
-Love and God Bless,
MJ
February 14th, 2007 at 9:42 am
Thanks to everyone who had any part in this!! It is wonderful!
February 14th, 2007 at 9:42 am
Thanks so much!! this is truely an amazing gift…thanks for all who worked so hard to make this happen!
February 14th, 2007 at 9:47 am
Guys, I’m reading the survey results…
Wow. You all did an EXCELLENT job.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, every person who took time to invent, create, promote, and fill out this survey. It’s way beyond what I ever thought it would be! For those of you who took the extra time to offer text responses, thank you. Most of those are encouraging me a lot as I read them.
I’ve always cared a lot about modesty, and tried my best, but reading these text responses has brought tears to my eyes, and was a tremendous encouragement to hear that MANY people DO appreciate it and it is a help and encouragement to them. This survey is an added encouragement to press on and stand strong (guys & girls!) because people do care about it!
Guys, you don’t know how much of a blessing this survey is. The direct link is sure going up on my blogs!!
February 14th, 2007 at 9:49 am
The results are even better than I anticipated! Everything is organized, easy to read, and you can even filter the results!
Happy Valentines Day, and thank you for the gift.
~Caleb
February 14th, 2007 at 9:51 am
Guys, all I can say is thank you!!! You’ve done a wonderful job with this and I’m so glad that you’ve put this resource together for us.
Happy St. Valentine’s Day,
Sylvia
February 14th, 2007 at 9:56 am
Hooray! A hearty and sincere thank you to everyone who devoted precious hours of time and effor to this survey! This was a wonderful Valentine’s Day gift. I can’t wait to go through the rest of the survey. It looks awesome. And thanks also to all of the guys who have signed the petition as well. I really appreciate it!
February 14th, 2007 at 9:56 am
Oh, I’m speechless. Alex and Brett, this makes my year! These results are going to change my life.
February 14th, 2007 at 9:57 am
Hurrah!! Thank you so very much, gentlemen! You’ve blessed us all immensely.
February 14th, 2007 at 10:00 am
Thank you so much to all the guys who participated in the survey, and especially to the survey team who stayed up all night for this! I was amazed at how many men signed the petition! That’s very encouraging.
I pray that we as girls will be willing to make any changes that are needed to our wardrobes, and may God continue to change our hearts as well.
May God continue to use this for His glory!
Thank you so much, Alex and Brett, and the survey team! You’ve done a wonderful, God-honoring job!
~Annie P.~
February 14th, 2007 at 10:01 am
Thanks so much to all who worked so hard on this project! It is a very awesome gift!!!!
February 14th, 2007 at 10:05 am
This is wonderful! THANK-YOU!
- Bry Freeman
February 14th, 2007 at 10:06 am
Thank you God for the blessing which is the Harris twins’ Modesty Survey. Men of God in the past have done fantastic, heroic things - ending slavery, standing up to King George, fighting for freedom around the globe, writing the Constitution - but these survey results are worth more than all those other things put together. History will NOT forget you, Alex and Brett. All the wrongs of the world will no doubt be righted by these results - babies will live, speech will be free, religion will flourish.
Just keep doing your thing, guys. I’m sure the girls will continue to think you’re hot and the conference invitations will pour in so that people can gather to hear the wisdom pour forth from the mouths of two fairly average 18-year-olds.
February 14th, 2007 at 10:07 am
Thank you guys so much!
February 14th, 2007 at 10:09 am
Guys, you know it’s good when the server can’t allow any more connections. Ha!
February 14th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Wow! Thank you so much for this wonderful gift!
I must say, I had no idea that guys really thought these things, thank you for opening my eyes to the truth.
When I opened the modesty survey and saw the petition and how many guys had signed it I started to tear up, how amazing. Words can’t express my feelings…thanks.
In Christ,
Elise
February 14th, 2007 at 10:14 am
I discovered this website a couple of weeks ago by mistake and have been so encouraged by it. To all of you guys who made this modesty survey a reality–thank you sooo much! I don’t know if you’ll ever really know how much it means to some of us girls who really want to be careful in our dress, but get confused on some issues. I don’t have any brothers, so it’s hard to imagine how most teen guys think, and of course, I’d be too embarrassed to ask any guys I know about how they think of my dress. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. May God bless each one of you!
February 14th, 2007 at 10:16 am
Much thanks to Brett and Alex for hosting this survey, and to the entire Survey team that put so much hard work and effort into building the survey system and compiling the results. May God be praised and his people blessed.
February 14th, 2007 at 10:26 am
FANTASTIC!!!! Thanks so much everybody for all your hard work. This is a real blessing. I haven’t finished reading the results yet but from what I’ve seen already, I am encouraged to continue dressing modestly, bolstered by the opinions of 1600+ brothers in Christ. THANK YOU!
February 14th, 2007 at 10:41 am
thank you thank you thank you thank you thankyou!!!!!!!!!
Because of all the traffic, I may need to wait till I finish my school work to see the results!!
thank you again!
Praise God
Elizabeth
February 14th, 2007 at 10:56 am
Yay!! This is exciting. I just looked through a few of the results (I had to stop, because it said something about too many connections, or something…wouldn’t load properly). The survey has really exceeded my expectations. Reading through some of the text responses, the guys seemed to have such respect for girls. I’d been looking forward to this, but it’s even better than I thought it would be. I am going to say GREAT JOB, to everybody who’s worked on this and put effort into it. That includes all the guys who answered the survey. I really, really appreciate the respectful attitude that seems to be purveyed in what I’ve seen of the survey so far.
February 14th, 2007 at 11:17 am
Oh my gosh, I’m currently looking through the results (since its a bit slow, I am multitasking :0) and this is amazing. I knew it was going to be great, but wow! Its awesome.
Its so consice, clear, and organized. I can easily tell all the effort that everyone put into it! I am so thankful for all you guys, Alex and Brett, and all the guys that answered the questions.
I will definitly tell the girls in my youth group about this, and will put the add on my blog.
February 14th, 2007 at 11:28 am
Thank-you gentlemen for putting this together.
Thank-you girls of asking the questions.
Thank-you guys for giving us the answers
Many Blessings,
Erin
February 14th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
Hooray!!!!! It’s wonderful guys. Thanks soooo much. I wish I could stay on all day and read the whole thing at once!!!
February 14th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
Yay!
I have been like counting the days until it was going to be up!
I have already posted about it. And I am going to put one of those adds on my blog as well.
Wha, I sure can tell lotsa people are on it - its really slow!
In Christ,
Britta
February 14th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
I have to add my heartfelt thank you!!! The written answers have been incredibly encouraging to read. Thanks guys for being honest, yet humble, in the filling out of this survey. I deeply appreciate your efforts to help and encourage us girls to be modest outwardly as well as inwardly. Thanks!!
February 14th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Thank you so much for doing this - even staying up all night so that it could get done! I haven’t seen it all yet, for there’s quite a bit of traffic on the site right now. I wonder why…
It’s such a blessing! Thanks to all of the guys who participated in this; I, too, was amazed at the number of signatures on the petition.
To God be the glory!
February 14th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Thank you so much everybody who has worked on and contributed to this survey!
Reading what you all wrote brought tears to my eyes (and I don’t cry often). Knowing there are guys that really respect girls who desire to be modest is so encouraging! You have made me deeply want to continue dressing and acting in modest ways.
I’m in awe that 1,600+ of you took the time to express your thoughts. Thanks again.
Your sister in Christ,
Carly
February 14th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
The results aren’t coming up for me. The page is messed up. Any one else with this problem or on how I can fix it?
February 14th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
This is absolutely phenominal… thank you so much to everyone who participated and put this together! I’m taking notes as I go through. This is such a fantastic resource that I was almost in tears as I read through the faithful comments that these guys left to help us girls. Thank you thank you thank you!
February 14th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Thank you gentlemen. So much for putting time and thought into this, in order to give us ways we can help you. When I started reading the responses to the very first statements…I started crying, it’s so amazing to read what you [guys] have said from your hearts. Thank God for the wonderful, godly men who have contributed to this excellent ministry!!
Thanks again!
February 14th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Well now I see that there was an overload, so now I guess I’ll have to wait… haha. Patience is a virtue right? :-/
February 14th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
Wow, this is so great, I’m tearing up also (Mom says it’s a girl thing). It is just so neat to know that we have so many fellow believers that really do care…
*Sniffle*
February 14th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Wow. What an eye opener. Some things I never thought of turned out being a real temptation for guys; other things I was paranoid about the majority of the guys dissmissed. Very insightful.
Reading the guys responses to the questions in “General/Other” brought me to tears; Guys DO notice when we try, and they respect us for it. I mainly want to glorify God and get HIS attention, but how encouraging to hear that the guys respect and admire our show of character when we try. Thank you for the honest insight; I hope we - the girls - can now better serve you, for the the glory of God.
Cait B.
February 14th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Wow!
I just want to thank all of you guys for doing this - especially those of you who put thought behind your text answers. The numbers are good to know, but to see what you guys are REALLY thinking about a certain subject is very helpful and enlightening!
I can’t wait to read the rest once the servers are up and running again. I figured something like this might happen, though - it’s just SO POPULAR!
;)
~Lady Tai
February 14th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
I think this was a good idea to do. A TON of girls at my church are totally trashy and even though I’ve never dressed immodestly, I felt out of place, lol. So at least I don’t feel like I’m the only girl that has her head on her shoulders anymore, seeing that other girls care about themselves as well~
February 14th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
Thanks Modesty Survey Team!!! This is absoluetly wonderful!! I am so impressed by the thoughtful text responses, and the clear way that the guys worded their answers! Thanks again, and we will *try* to be patient for the servers to come back up!!
February 14th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
WOW GUYS! You have gone above and beyond the call of duty… God Bless You (and I can’t wait until the survey is back up again… I’ve been trying to access it all afternoon!!!) : )
February 14th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Wow God is going to bless you guys for your obedience!!! I can’t wait to read the survey when it is back up!!! : )
February 14th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
FYI, the blog entry says the survey is back up again on a test run, but when I click the link it still says it is down…
Can’t wait to read it when it’s back up!
February 14th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Try reloading the page, Irene. It should work.
February 14th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Thank you Christian gentlemen!!!! This is awesome!!!
February 14th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
I have been looking at it a lot. I really love the way you did this! It’s cool how you can filter the results, but one suggestion is that you can filter the comments.
anyway, I was on here and my little (4 yo) brother was next to me. He was annoyed because I was on the survey a lot. Here is what he said: “Please, can’t you stop that girl stuff?”
:-D it was so funny
Thank you again
Elizabeth
Note: I was going to leave this comment a while ago, but then the site wouldn’t load! Praise God for all the people looking at it!
One last thing: how can I get one of those banner ads for the ‘good person test’
February 14th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
Thank you so much to everyone who made this possible!! A+ guys!!
February 14th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
Wow! I have only been coming to the Rebelution for a few weeks, but the modesty survey had be very intrigued. I plan on leading a modesty bible study, and I now intend to supplement with this!!
Anyway, I want to say to all of those who participated and put it together, “Thank you!” I look forward to going over the results in greater detail and putting modesty even more into practice. May the Lord bring you all glory as you seek to follow His example “in speech, in love, in life, in faith, and in purity.”
Your Sister in Christ,
Ella Gardner
February 14th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
So, how will you women that read this change how you dress?? How has this been an asset to your lives?
February 14th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
WOW!!! This is fantastic. Would you believe I’ve already read most of the answers? I tried to get it up earlier and it was overloaded–definitely a good sign. Now I’ve gone through and been thrilled with the results–especially to see that so many guys, even younger teens, really care about this. I’ve been really blessed by this.
By the way, I love how so many of you made your responses funny! It was a way of telling us what we need to hear and doing it in a lighthearted way.
Thank you so much!
February 14th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
Thank You! I really have no other words. I now have gotten rid of some of my clothes and bought new ones b/c from what you have said they were stumbling blocks and ultimatly not honoring Christ.
God Bless you All!
February 14th, 2007 at 5:35 pm
Thank you so much, truely amazing!!! I really enjoy reading through all of the comments that you guys wrote out, they are especially helpful. Thank you for helping us to help you in the way we dress and act!
-Liz Wenger-
February 14th, 2007 at 5:53 pm
To all the fellows who did the survey:
Thank you, thank you, thank you! It really touched my heart to know that there are so many guys out there who care enough about us girls to participate in this survey. I sometimes feel that there are no godly young men who care about modesty, and I have been greatly encouraged by this. May God bless you!
Angie
February 14th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Wow, wow, wow! I have only read the results from the first five topics, but it’s been a real eye-opener. This is better than any gift I have ever received. Thank you Alex and Brett and the whole team for putting this on, and to all the guys who made it possible.
-Ellie
February 14th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Wow. You guys have NO idea how eye-opening this is for us girls! I mean, the culture tells us a TOTALLY different story. I almost cried as I read the results. Thank you, dear brothers in Jesus.
In all honesty, it’s really hard to be modest nowadays. As in REALLY hard. But this has encouraged me to do my best. You do notice when we try to dress in a God-honoring way. And so does Jesus!
Thank you again!
Keeli
February 14th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
What a wonderful Valentine’s Day gift! Thank you to all the people who participiated. I’ve looked through most of it. Some of the answers fit with my feelings, and some were rather unexpected. This will definitely be a good resource.
February 14th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
This was very helpful to read through. Over the years, I’ve heard countless “modestly talks” and was frankly getting very sick of them, so I was surprised to actually learn a few new things. I discovered several styles that I never would have dreamed would be a problem actually scored remarkably high as being potential stumbling blocks. I was shocked.
Since I’m single this Valentine’s Day, I’ve decided to use the money I might have used on a Valentine to replace a few articles of clothing in my closet. I don’t enjoy spending long amounts of time shopping, actaully, I dislike shopping on a whole, but this is my Valentine’s Day gift to my brothers in Christ.
~Kelsey
February 14th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Thank you so much, guys! This has been wonderful. I tremendously enjoyed reading the results!
February 14th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
my fellow reblutions;
when I first stumbled upon this off of my search engine, I was very much drawn into the wonderful and encouraging idea of creating a modest survey, and was one of the many to check on this blog in hopes of seeing the results. Putting it up on valentines day was a wonderful idea, really - it was!
After reading the entire survey through, my once enthusiastic outlook was somewhat dampened, as I realized how much emphasis the male population stores in the female body.
To read that necklaces draw to much attention to my neck, and that the many shrugs I own are no longer just cute accessories to a modest t-shirt, rather makes me feel like a prostitute when I have tried to hard to be a Christian girl who remains modest without abandoning fashion. And, to find that my collarbone is also a stumbling block — well, now that’s just plain flattery *winks*
In reading the survey I realized that there were- correct me if I’m wrong - over one hundred questions, and that guys must have spent - correct me again- half an hour to an hour analyzing this stuff, recalling images they perhaps never were prompted before to take note of. I can only say that on my part, when I introduced the survey to my younger brother of nearly seventeen, although he agreed on the point of cleavage and skin -tight jeans and relevant examples, when it came to the points of high heeled shoes, black boots, and leggings, his comments were sprinkled with mirth. At the end, he turned to me and said, ‘you know - I’ve never even thought of a lot of these things; I never take notice of what girls wear. I mean, yea, sure, sometimes I look at a girl and say ‘that looks very attractive on her’, but that’s different than considering them a stumbling block’. — what a gentleman. You see, when my brother looks at a girl, he does so for the right reasons - and if he sees a girl who is wearing a two-piece bathing suit or bikini, he isn’t interested enough to keep his gaze.
In this survey, many of the comments were just - in my opinion cleavage and tight attire are worn for the wrong reasons and are immodest, and underwear showing in any circumstance is the height of vulgarity. But, when girls try to dress modestly, as I do - and are still called by the opposites a ’stumbling block’- I think we have to look seriously at the guys heart attitude and motives. After all, if they stare hard enough at the area where we wear underwear, they are bound to spot a line here or there - no lingerie is invisible. And if they imagine what is underneath a full skirt - which is in my opinion a fashionable way to be modest (for example, look
http://www.anthropologie.com/jump.jsp?itemID=12366&itemType=PRODUCT&iSubCat=322&iMainCat=314) - then, of course it could be a stumbling block. Oh, for any guys who answered ‘yes’ on the full skirt question, I recommend you don’t click on that link - don’t want any imagery popping into your head.
For these reasons I will not be posting these results on my site, and if I may make a suggestion, it would be perhaps a good idea to do a series on purity for guys, training them to think in line with my brother; whom I had to brag about just one last time.
In closing, I do recognize that, as you stated, these are not intended to be strict, rigid rules, and my feelings perhaps are singular. I am still, however, discouraged by the results I read - and it made me perhaps be more self-conscious than I was previously, and can’t help feeling you guys have taken the fun our of donning a pair of cute heels, or wearing the special set of long - length pearls Mom bought me last Easter. Now, I will be thinking ‘what is he thinking’ and ‘ oh no, I want to hide’.
I want to thank you so much for the time and effort you guys spent in creating this survey, sifting through the questions, and for posting it on Valentines day - what a wonderful idea.
I hope to perhaps discuss this further, and thank you for allowing me to post my thoughts.
Steph(y)
February 14th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Wow! Thank you guys so much!
February 14th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
awesome! thanks so much to all of the guys who were a part of this..
February 14th, 2007 at 6:52 pm
Excellent work fellows. It’s just statistical interest to me, though; you girls who think it’s so awesome, start using it!
February 14th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Oh! please please allow me to make a correction, in re-reading you survey, you all said that full skirts were not a stumbling block! forgive this injustice - it was unintentional, and proves how out of it I am!
February 14th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
I want to say a heartfelt thank you to all my brothers in Christ who DO appreciate those of us who try to dress modestly. It is not easy, both because of our sinful hearts (we can want to be lusted after as much as you are tempted to lust after us!), but also because just FINDING modest-yet-nice-looking clothes in our culture is next to impossible. I would still do it even if you did’t appreciate it, because ultimately I’m trying to honor God…but it is so encouraging to hear that it makes a difference.
It’s also nice to hear that you guys find modest girls attractive. It’s hard to be a girl in our culture, where looks and body image are so emphasized. Sometimes we modest girls feel unattractive. Thanks for telling us that’s a lie from the world!
And thanks so much for giving me a Valentine’s gift!!!!!
February 14th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
AWESOME! Thank you!
February 14th, 2007 at 7:32 pm
I know tons of girls have already said it, but thank you! This is an amazing amount of information, and it’s been so encouraging to me to read what you guys think about modest girls. Happy Valentine’s Day!
February 14th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
All I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you a million times over!
This survey cleared up a lot for me and has given me many things to ponder and evaluate. As an unfortuante girl without brothers, I loved being able to read the opinions and thoughts from guys.
And to all the guys who participated in the survey, thank you so much for your honesty! I truly appreciate the time you took to help us out.
Thank you again to everyone who worked so hard on this survey; its is awesome and I think it will help many, many girls.
God bless, and happy Valentine’s Day!
February 14th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
Steph,
Thanks for your thoughtful comment! Please keep in mind that the responses are just tallies, and opinions on everything vary among Christian guys. For instance, in the part about messages on shirts, the largest vote was that they drew too much attention to the bust. I’ve met one Christian guy who prefers shirts without messages, but every other Christian guy I know has no problem. If I think that one guy’s going to be around, I’ll pick my shirt carefully, but otherwise I don’t worry too much about it.
Please, ask the Christian guys around you for feedback. It’s good that you asked your brother. The people around you are the ones who you need to be thinking most about (since they’re the ones who will see you), and their responses will quite likely differ from some of the points on the survey. The survey is a general guide, not an absolute one; it was taken from a sampling of guys, not all of them. Reactions to clothes differ, and if the people around you don’t have a problem with high heels (I can’t think of anyone I know who does; they just think they look painful) or a shrug, by all means go ahead.
February 14th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
Anna :
Thank you so much for your response, and for the reminder once again that the survey tallies the guys answers.
what bothers me is in reading the comments, I realized how much guys analyzed us - talking about busts in relation to overalls, and shrugs and skirts, and nylons - and I think that while we need to be careful of what we wear, guys need to be in charge of their minds. people say guys are so visual - well, just as guys don’t appreciate immodest girls, girls aren’t attractive to visual guys. Jane Austen’s perfect gentlement Mr. Darcy never once noticed her bust size; and Charlotte Bronte’s Mr. Rochester wasn’t concerned with it either. - Gentlemen are not thos who analyze you on you bust size, but those who occupy their minds with mor worthwhile endeavors.
Hence, I once again mention my brother
Steph(y)
February 14th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
Dear Steph,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts regarding The Modesty Survey. Alex and I are very sorry that you were disappointed, but most importantly, we believe that you may be wrongly disappointed.
From what you said in your comment it seems that you may have mistakenly assumed that the statements that compose The Modesty Survey are the actual survey results. Actually, the statements are the survey’s “questions” that were designed to elicit an agreement or disagreement on the part of the participants.
For example, the statement, “Necklaces draw too much attention to the neck,” prompted disagreement from the majority men who took the survey, to a tune of 75%. Over 18% of guys were Neutral on this question, which means that only 7% of guys think necklaces are a problem. These percentages (along with the text responses explaining them) are the survey results. The statement is just one of the survey questions.
Does that make sense? If you feel you misunderstood the presentation of the survey, please take the time to go back and read through it again—clicking on each statement to see how guys responded to it. I think you will be much more encouraged this time.
In Christ Alone,
Brett Harris
February 14th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
Thank You!!
If you [girls] have not read the “Open Questions” yet….I strongly recommend it. Just a moment ago, I was weeping from all the heartfelt “Thank you”s and pleading…These are some amazing guys. I just read SOME of the responses, and I was blown away!! This is right were I was getting discouraged, thinking, “Why does it matter? They don’t even notice.”
Now seeing my error, I praise God for timing. These guys are talking about how Christ loves us for us. And how He will send us the right man, for a future husband…If we will only wait on His timing. It means SO much to me, how humble these men are…and how sincere, too. I’m still teary…I cannot begin to tell how much this means to me!!
Brett, Alex, Thank you, so much…God is doing something incomprehensible through you!!
Thanks!!
Sis in Christ!
Aimee B.
February 14th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
as I said in the previous statement, I did follow the directions, and am still disheartened that there isn’t a Mr. Darcy out there; perhaps those days are gone….
But, I appreciate your comment very much, and thanks for the enouraging words,
Steph(y)
February 14th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
lol– that comment has not yet been moderated , so you haven’t seen it
February 14th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
I just finished reading the rest of the survey. Reading the answers to the Open Questions really encouraged me. It made me realize that guys really do want me to dress modestly. I have learned that it is easier for guys to lust, and we need to do them the favor (and give them the respect) to dress in modest way that does not attract the wrong kind of attention. Again, I can’t thank you enough. And thank you brothers, for caring.
In Christ,
Ellie
February 14th, 2007 at 8:41 pm
Forgot one thing. The petition is amazing! I can’t believe all those names. How encouraging.
E
February 14th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Hi again! (I need to remember to comment everything once! I’ll submit a comment and then remember one more thing I want to say.) Are you going to continue to post the rest of the article written by Shannon Mueller? I was really interested in it, and just wondered if you were waiting until the survey results were running before the rest is posted.
February 14th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
My most heartfelt thanks to all of the men who made such a tremendous effort to give us this gift! I am blown away. I believe this is one of the most precious Valentines gifts that I have ever recieved. It is very encouraging to know that there are so many strong men of God that uphold modesty and chastity and virtue!
Well done! Thank you, and God bless everyone who contributed to this excellent project, and everyone who is privileged to partake of it.
Your sister in Christ,
Bess B.
February 14th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
THANK YOU! I will put more thoughts up later, when I am thinking a little more clearly! I really needed something to look forward to this Valentine’s DAY.
February 14th, 2007 at 9:09 pm
Amazing Job Survey Team!
The interface is awesome and so incredible slick. (just wondering did you guys use AJAX?)
I was imagining something with a lot less extras and I must say that I am throughly amazed at what ya’ll have pulled off. The entire thing is very well done and speaks of passion for the subject and dedication to present it well and understandably. Thank you for all of you hard work and perseverance.
May God bless your efforts and the Survey as it helps bring people closer to God in their walk.
Your Brother In Christ,
Joshua Russell
February 14th, 2007 at 10:19 pm
Thank you so much to the team and the Alex and Brett for putting this all together. I haven’t gotten to read it all yet but the little I have has been really insightful. I am amazed at the organization and technical know how that you all brought to this. Thanks for even thinking of things like the filter by age and public/homeschool. It is phenomonal!
~Holly
February 14th, 2007 at 10:28 pm
This is so cool! I don’t have any brothers, so this was encouraging to me that I’m doing the right thing as far as dress goes, but I was also interested that there are some things I’m doing that could be distracting and I didn’t even realize it.
May God richly bless you!
PS. (Just a note to Steph(y): It’s interesting that you mentioned two male “heroes” in books that were written by women, perhaps like me it didn’t occur to them to write these things and maybe it was part of the culture of those writers not to talk about what they were really thinking, especially when it isn’t especially “good”.).
February 14th, 2007 at 10:37 pm
Unbelievable!
Thank you Alex, Brett, and everyone else who invested their efforts in organizing the jungle of answers and information. The mixture of encouragement and admonishment found in these answers is hitting me even now. I believe God will use this survey to His glory. Guys and girls alike will be greatly helped.
Thanks!
February 14th, 2007 at 10:52 pm
Just an observation, Steph… Mr. Darcy is a fictional character created by a woman. He was a gentleman, sure, (that’s why he’s the hero!) but the story and its characters are from a woman’s point of view, and, therefore, can’t really be used to define reality.
Ah, I notice someone else has already mentioned this…
February 14th, 2007 at 11:24 pm
It did my heart good to read the modesty survey results. I had almost begun to think there were no real men who valued purity over physical perfection.
February 15th, 2007 at 12:13 am
Thank you, everyone! The results are way beyond anything I ever expected. I was very encouraged as I read the responses. Thanks for taking the time and for being open and honest about this because it will help. May each of us dress and conduct ourselves in a way that is pleasing and honoring to the Lord. Some of the responses brought tears to my eyes…even though modest dress is ultimately before the Lord, it is nice to know that other people appreciate it, too. So guys, I understand that it may be hard to say thank you in person…but thanks for communicating your appreciation via the survey.
February 15th, 2007 at 12:20 am
One other things…thanks for posting that petition. Wow - it was so encouraging to see all of those names!
February 15th, 2007 at 1:31 am
Thank you so much for this! It answered some questions that I had but was afraid to ask! Thank you!
~Katrina
February 15th, 2007 at 2:44 am
Happy Hearts’ Day!
Thank you very much Godly Men-In-Training.
Truly your labor for the Modesty Survey is not in vain. May the Lord reward you for your commendable Christian service.
I am very much excited to share the results with my friends. Thank you once again. ^_^
February 15th, 2007 at 2:59 am
Great job on displaying those results so professionally!
I’ve got a small request though. It would be nice for those of us guys who participated in the survey to be reminded of what we answered. Could make it possible to log in like we did when answering the questions so that our own response is displayed first? Thanks.
It would also be good if there were at least one strongly agree, one neutral and one strongly disagree text responses chosen for each question. Sometimes you have to click ‘read more text responses’ to get someone with a different point of view!
As for the results, so far they haven’t surprised me too much. But then, I am male.
February 15th, 2007 at 3:05 am
Thank You!
Knowing what clothes we wear and things we do that make you, guys, stumble is a big help to us in helping you with your battles.
There were some clothes or manner of dressing that I thought don’t really matter or cause guys to stumble, but I just learned from this survey that they do distract, and moreover, put guys in their battlefields.
With the insights I had from the Modesty Survey, I am enbled to dress in a God-glorifying way.
To God be the glory!
February 15th, 2007 at 4:30 am
Sisters in Christ, we men in society have miserably failed at appreciating true womanhood. On behalf of every man out there who has painted a distorted picture in your life of what a real woman is, especially along the lines of modesty, I apologize deeply. There are many Godly men out there, as I’m sure this survey will prove, that are dying to give you their utmost respect when you choose to follow God’s leading in this area of modesty in your life. We back you up all the way and want to do anything we can to help you. And we ask that you do all you can to help us as we struggle through this world of sin together.
Whoever wrote that, thank you!!! With the guys I know, lately I have been utterly despairing in the hope of finding a Godly, wonderful husband in the future. Thank you so much, Alex and Brett, for doing the Modesty Survey. I love the results, and I learned a lot of things that I didn’t know could be looked at in a bad way before. From the results, most of my clothes and the things that I do are considered ‘modest’, but there’s a few things that I need to correct. Thank you so much, and may God bless you in your wonderful ministry.
Your Sister in Christ,
Marissa
February 15th, 2007 at 6:53 am
Thank you so much guys. This is so great and so helpful.
February 15th, 2007 at 7:03 am
I don’t have anything profound to say, but thanks guys, a million times =) I am telling my friends about it. God Bless You!
Your sister in Christ,
Naomi Elizabeth
February 15th, 2007 at 7:06 am
Hey Joshua,
Yep, we did use AJAX for parts of the survey.
February 15th, 2007 at 7:16 am
Like you all need another voice saying “thank you”…but here it is anyway.
Of course to Alex and Brett, Katrina, and David–but also all the other people who aren’t going to get specifically mentioned. You are thanked.
I’d just like to add that the text responses are almost more influential than the statistics. Now we just need a PFD or SOMETHING that we can print up to give to people who aren’t going to get to see this…
February 15th, 2007 at 8:11 am
This is great! Thank you to all who participated, this will be very helpful. May I copy the results into a document on my computer for fast reference? I’m hoping to join the fashion design industry and this kind of information would be very helpful for me when I’m trying to design modest clothing.
February 15th, 2007 at 8:18 am
Steph, I don’t claim to be a hero like Mr. Darcy… But I think the whole goal of modesty is to draw a man’s attention to a women’s character instead of her appearance, and I can say that I personally don’t “analyze” a women’s physical appearance when she is dressed modestly. When a woman is dressed immodestly, it naturally draws attention to her physical appearance, and I think even a hero has to make the choice not to dwell on her appearance.
February 15th, 2007 at 9:21 am
‘good..meditate on these things’
I do not think that the term good changes from season to season, or from one century to another - in fact, I think that the openess of discussion about private matters has been a great drawback on society. Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte created the perfect gentlemen in novels;and my guess is they did it because they were hard pressed to find one in their own society. Oh! how I relate to this.
As this will be my last comment on this topic; allow me to say this -the responses to this survey from many girls have been eager, enthused, and humble in assuming that any visual a guy recieves is entirely our fault ; when, in reading the survey, I was struck with the complete opposite. No one but themselves control their thinking, and it reaches the point on being perverse when a guy is thinking during a wedding ceremony only of the activity which will go on behind closed doors that night - or when a guy looks at a modest v neck and casts his eyes immediatly on what is below it. Many of these answers proved to me that guys nowadays are increasingly becoming more visual, and well, how very sad it is.
Many of the girls on this sight have been absolutely sweet in calling the responders to the survey ‘gentlemen’ - however, not attach this name to many of the responses I witnessed. Many of the answers in my view showed the hearts and attitudes of a modern day guy.
In closing, we girls should all dress with one goal in mind; Christ, whom is the sould person we wish to please. With this in mind, modesty will never be a problem.
Thank you so much again, and I would to read any responses,
Steph(y)
February 15th, 2007 at 9:28 am
oh…the bible verse at the beginning, Phil 4:8 - whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report…..meditate on these things.
sorry, late night last night and busy day today
February 15th, 2007 at 9:52 am
Well done!
As a MOTHER of a 12 year old girl and 16 year old boy I have found this absolutely fascinating. You all have done a wonderful job with this may God be glorified in the results.
This survey has prompted many conversations between my children and me, especially my daughter. She is by nature a modest child, and I do not have to work too hard to steer her in the “right” direction. She wrote a paper yesterday for Bible study and said she would rather be dressed modestly and thought strange than look like the world. Does a mother’s heart good! Now lets see what happens in about 3-5 years.
My 16 year old son thought much in line with the other young men and adult men who answered the survey. Black boots for instance are just black boots. I praise God that he does indeed see things like this and he too does agree with the idea of necklaces and other accessories. They are fine unless they should follow a plunging neck line.
Steph(y) men like Mr. Darcy and your brother or even my son are not the norm. Appreciate that there are so many young men striving for this kind of ideal in a pronofied society, where women have been taught that it is okay to flaunt it if you got it–even if you do not. I am with you this gave me much to think about as well as my daughter. This kind of honesty is rare, rejoice that they were willing to be so open about their feelings, and consider the things they said and since you think so highly of your brother and his opinion make sure you seek it in this area.
I would like to say also how much I appreciated the group of 40-49 that took the time to respond. I am 37 being modest is much more important to me now than it was say 20 years ago, and not because I am the mother of 5, but because of the work of Christ for me and in me that has made all the difference.
I am looking forward to reading the open responses, but I will probably wait until the newness has wore off–it just will not load.
One last thought, I found this site from a link on Ladies Against Feminism (LAF) and I poke in weekly at least. I commend Alex and Bret for leading against the popular culture and making a stand for godliness and excellence in this generation. Your generation, that being of my children also, can do great things if you continue to live for our God and Savior.
Thanks
Mrs. Schwab
February 15th, 2007 at 9:57 am
Steph: You have some good thoughts. My concern is that you seem so offended by the battle with the flesh undertaken by all Christian men. It can be overwhelming to learn the extent of men’s struggles, especially since it is so different from the way women think. But I would encourage you to remember that the young men taking this survey are strong Christian guys, the best of the pure, and they are fighting with all their hearts to defeat this sin. They are not blaming the women, they are asking for help. And if they have this struggle, that means 99% of men do.
My concern for you, Steph, is that your idealism will be crushed eventually by someone close to you, and you won’t be able to recover. This survey is an excellent glimpse into the struggles even Christian men face. To be perfectly blunt, many of the women who are crushed by the discovery that their Christian husband is looking at pornography are the ones who deny that such a thing were even possible. Not that it is their fault or responsibility, but their support and understanding can make a huge difference. And the men who fall that way are often the ones who refuse to be humble and honest about their strugges—the way these 1,600 men have been. Honesty is always the first step in dealing with sin.
I hope you can see my concern in writing this. I don’t mean to condemn you! But there are millions (if not billions) of non-Christian men in the world who see nothing wrong with undressing you in their minds, and you are disgusted with the men who hate doing that, and want your help.
February 15th, 2007 at 10:14 am
The biggest problem I had with the survey was this: In the conservative church where I grew up, the message we girls were given was that if we knew for a fact that something we wore caused a guy to stumble, the only correct response was to not wear that item again. One of the comments on this site a couple of weeks ago was that girls would now be held accountable for the things that were said in this survey — in other words, maybe we had no idea that something was a problem for guys before, but now we do, so it’s wrong for us to wear that thing now. But where do we draw the line? For example, 11.8% of the guys surveyed said that it was wrong for a girl’s calf to show. 14.5% said nude stockings were a stumbling block. Yes, they were definitely in the minority, and in both of those, the majority were either neutral or strongly disagreed with those statements. But the fact remains that greater than one in ten guys surveyed has a problem with each of those things. In fact, in reading through the survey, I don’t think I own a stitch of clothing that someone, somewhere, doesn’t have a problem with. Am I now “accountable” to throw away all things that cause some guy I’ve never even met to stumble? At what percentage point do we say, “Hey, this is a problem, I should stop wearing it” and at what point do we say “Well, that’s just a few guys, they can turn their eyes away.”
February 15th, 2007 at 10:20 am
Thank you so much for the survey! I am hoping to tell all my youth group about it, because though immodesty is not extreme in our church, it does exist.
I think that overall, the results are very balanced. Yeah, there are a few guys who say high heels are a stumbling block, but the majority do not. There are good comments modifying their opinions, such as pointing out that high heels with a short skirt are, of course a problem, but wouldn’t be under modest circumstances! Steph, please don’t feel that just because there are a few guys who think something is a stumbling block, that you have to get all irritated about it. Take the survey with a grain of salt.
And Survey team, thank you for all the effort made to sort through the comments. I really like this comment, about high heels. “They might be a stumbling block to girls… I don’t see how they walk in those things!”
In questions that I have had before, I received good insights. For example, I am a ’smaller’ girl on top, and so it was interesting to hear that to a certain extent, a smaller girl should be just as modest as a ‘larger’ one, but that, on the other hand, she doesn’t have to worry as much. It makes sense.
Thank you again!
February 15th, 2007 at 10:24 am
Wow. That was an eye-opener! Thanks so much to everyone who made this possible:o) Thank you very much all of you guys who signed the petition, showed your apprecition for girls who try to dress modestly, and who bluntly and honestly shared their struggle.
)
Girls think so differently it is very hard to even catch a glimpse of what guys struggle with, but this survey gave us that glimpse
This is so helpful, I really appreciate your time and effort that was put into making this so detailed and clear! Thanks ;o)
February 15th, 2007 at 10:42 am
Wow! The results are amazing. As a 30 year old wife and mother I was suprised by some of the survey responses but most were what I expected. Young ladies if you are bothered that “good Christian” young men notice “too much” of the female form right now you will be thankful later. When your husband is completely captivated by the form you kept hidden just for him that is the most romantic thing in the world. This “noticing” has it’s place and the guys shouldn’t looked down upon for being wired the way God made them.
February 15th, 2007 at 10:51 am
Wow! The results were above and beyond what I expected. Thank you to all the men who took this survey - I really appreciate your opening your hearts for us a little and showing us what our clothing (or lack thereof) is doing to you. It makes me a little sad to think of the struggle and frustration and, probably, grief that you have to suffer because of us. I for one will be going through my wardrobe and weeding out the things I shouldn’t be wearing. And ladies - please, let’s all do our best to help our men with this gigantic battle that rages in their minds and hearts. They need it so!
Valerie
February 15th, 2007 at 10:54 am
I am frankly surprised at the amount of excitement over the modesty survey results. I found that the results were generally what I expected: skimpy bathing suits, underwear showing, very short skirts, etc. are immodest. Questions I was surprised to find on the survey (eg. are necklaces immodest?) did not turn out to be a huge concern among men. I think Steph(y) mentioned something along the lines that the detail in the survey probably caused men to think more about this than they had before.
Common sense when dressing is still the answer. (Its a scary thought when girls can’t figure out what is appropriate.)
February 15th, 2007 at 11:26 am
Thank you so much. I love the detailed and careful work you put into this! I got some good answers to my own questions about what not to do and wear, and even better, a burst of joy and hope that yes, I can be modest and lovely.
February 15th, 2007 at 11:42 am
Carley: In the top right corner of each of the results, there is an icon of a printer. You can use that to print or (at least for Macs) make a PDF.
February 15th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
Thank you so much! It’s awesome for us girls to know that there are guys out there who notice when we dress modestly! It encourages me to know there are guys who want to marry a girl who isn’t showing off everything she’s got. The comments were great, especially the suggestions as to how we might do better. A big thank you to everybody who was involved with this!
February 15th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
THANK YOU SO MUCH. This will help change how I think about dressing modestly. I am amazed. I can’t thank you all enough for your time and effort for making this possibe. I’m going to email a copy of the results to all of my friends.
India Psalm 121
February 15th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
I would like to say once again that I am so pleased with the survey. What girl among us all has not at one point wondered what a guy is thinking? This is a chance to find out about clothes and modesty at least.
It seems some people are looking at the survey and being insulted because they feel they are being blamed for a guy’s thoughts. It isn’t like that! It’s like looking at jewelry in a store. Sure you aren’t supposed to steal the jewelry, but the owners aren’t going to leave the valuable stuff out on the counter to tempt you.
We (guys AND gals) have a mutual responsibilty to RESPECT each other. Girls need to respect that some clothes make a guy struggle and knowing that, we need to do our best to help them. This survey was taken by Christian guys who are trying so hard to respect us by keeping their thoughts, etc. pure; let’s make it a little bit easier on them by our choices in clothing.
It is my honor to help you brothers! Thank you for this!
February 15th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
To all the brothers in the Lord who put so much time and thought into answering the survey, I wish I could thank you each personally!!! Modesty and the heart attitude behind it are very important to me as a christian girl. I want to honor the Lord with my dress, and obey scripture that teaches us to “adorn yourselves with modesty”…And just like any other christian who desires to please the Lord, but wonders sometimes if it is worth ALL THE TIME AND ENERGY, we need encouragement, and that is what I have come away with!!! to be honest, after hearing a little bit of the survey from my sisters who had read it, I sort of avoided the computer…I was a little nervous to read it, but, I knew it was going to be very helpful and encouraging…AND IT WAS JUST THAT!!!!! Your responses were humble, candid, grace-filled,poetic, funny, simple, and very very helpful. I am freshly reminded of how important and wonderful taking the time to look for modest clothing is!! I would also strongly encourage any girl struggling with a feeling of condemnation or discouragement, or self-righteousness toward the guys(who struggle in different areas than ourselves) in reading the survey, to ask the Lord to soften your heart to see what He might be putting His finger on in your life reguarding modesty. They put this together to be a thorough, helpful aid to learning how we, as sisters in the Lord, can better serve our brothers, fathers, friends, boyfriends, and how we may be better witnesses to the world who, likewise, DO NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE…not to discourage us and make us feel as if we might as well were a quilt over our heads. Thank you again! Belle
February 15th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Thank you so much to all the Christian guys who helped put this together!
I desire to be modest and glorify God…Now I can understand a little more about how I can help my brothers in Christ!
February 15th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
This is AMAZING!! So far I haven’t had to change my style of dress very much, but it is SO encouraging to hear that guys appreciate modesty! I love the text responses. Thank you everyone who had anything to do with the survey!!!
~Laura
February 15th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
I totally agree with Margaret. What’s the big deal? Must have your heads in the sand if you didn’t know this stuff already, girls.
February 15th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
That scared me. I didn’t realize you were supposed to click on the statements. I thought the statements WERE the results!
I was about ready to tell the guys of the world to poke their eyes out if they thought that a slit in the cuff of my blouse was a “stumbling block”, because obviously they needed medical help…
Okay. Now I know, and I can read it better.
I do have to say, though, that I doubt anything said here will change the way I dress. I believe myself to be very modest, and I try to keep my mindset that way. I refuse to be dictated to by a poll, as it is as much a guy’s problem to guard his own heart as it is mine to keep his eyes from wandering.
I’ve done my part, now it’s time for him to do his.
RE: Transparent sleeves-
“If a man sees that your sleeves are transparent then they may check to see if any of the rest of our shirt is.” -Age 14
Well, if it’s not, if it is covering, then I have done my part, and it’s the guy’s job to exert some self control and not try and see what he can oggle.
Y’know, the bare feet question was interesting. Most guys had absolutely no problem, but I feel very… “free” barefooted. Not immodest, but different than if I’m shod. More open, I guess.
RE: The Responsibility of Men in Modesty
“A man’s responsibility is to: 1. Avert his eyes from that which might lead him to lust. 2. Avoid those places (whether physical or virtual) where seductive images abound. 3. Praise modesty wherever he finds it. 4. Demonstrate modesty in speech, in action, and in clothing. 5. Not to look down on those who are immodest, but to treat them with dignity. 6. Not to blame his stumbling on the immodesty of another. To do that would be to take the same line of reasoning as the rapist who says, “The way she was dressed, she was asking for it.”" -Age 28
Thank you, sir. My thoughts exactly.
February 15th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Fantastic, Fantastic, Fantastic!!! It is so very enouraging! Thankyou!!! I thoroughly enjoy reading the text responses and being uplifted by the thought that there are actually guys out there that care enough about their sisters in Christ that they take time to notice and say ‘Thanks!’. I really appreciate all the effort that went into this.
Sheila
PS. Elsie and Margaret: Yes, girls should already know most of this, but that’s not the point. Maybe they don’t, or maybe it’s just so very encouraging to see young men helping young girls to glorify God in this way!
That’s how I feel!! 
February 15th, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Elsie: It’s not that we didn’t know some of this already, but more that we are encouraged that there are guys out there who care if we choose to dress modestly. Yes to Sheila! I feel that way too.
February 15th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Just wanted to add another sincere “thank you” to the tally above me!
Even coming from a home that values modesty, some of the answers surprised me. When I was sharing my responses with my dad, he seemed amazed at my “naivety”. It’s helpful understanding what guys are thinking even about ‘little’ things, because the conclusions girls ‘logically’ arrive at seem to be rather far from the truth!
Thanks again to you all for giving up valuable school, family, friends, and free time (if that word is even in your vocabularies!) to compile the survey…. and thank you to all of you who took it. We really do appreciate it. =)
February 15th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Kristy,
By no means do you have to throw out all those clothes! There will always be someone, somewhere who objects to what you’re wearing. But you can either please some of the people all of the time, or all of the people some of the time. If the minority includes a lot of the Christian guys you’re around, take that into account. If the people you know don’t have a problem, though, you’re probably fine. This isn’t a list of rules; opinions on things vary from guy to guy. Plus, the guys do have a big responsibility to try to guard themselves, and we can’t control their minds.
Ask the Christian guys around you for feedback. They’re the ones who are going to see you most. The survey is guidelines, not absolutes. I haven’t found a single question where there weren’t answers in all five degrees.
February 15th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Elsie, for me it wasn’t so much that I needed to be told every thing on the survey (although there were some things that I hadn’t really thought about) for me it was more about the encouragement that guys really do notice and appreciate modesty. That is something that we don’t hear very often. I think that it was so great that the guys encourage us this way.
February 15th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
I just read the Modesty survey results. Wow! Thanks to everyone who contributed to the Survey! I truly appreciate it!
A sister in Christ,
Moriah Strickland (Galatians 2:20)
February 15th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
I have to admit I was excited about this survey, but a little skeptical at the same time. I thought the results might be more extreme than they turned out to be (i.e. I thought there would be more guys who said girls shouldn’t wear anything but dresses/skirts–a standard that I don’t find workable).
I was surprised–pleasantly so–to find that the survey respondents actually seemed quite balanced (for the most part). I am suitably impressed. Thanks to everyone who helped out–I think this was a great project.
February 15th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
I agree with David Daniel it would be nice to be able to view our own answers, I think that it would be interesting to look at my answers in say 5 years and see how my beliefs have changed and how i have grown.
February 15th, 2007 at 6:28 pm
Tonight is the first time I came across this website, and only because Sharper Iron had a link posted to it on their blog.
To all gentlemen who participated in this survey: Thank you for your honesty in your struggle with the area of lust. Unfortunately, far too often we have been unwilling to honestly and openly discuss this issue in our churches. Lust is one of those “hush-hush” issues we tend to ignore until something big happens in our churches, and even then, we aren’t always very honest about what’s really going on. I have been greatly blessed by what I have seen in these results as a man, as I know that I am not the only guy who is doing my part to fight the good fight of faith, and remain pure for my future wife (I have always known this, but it’s always encouraging to publicly see this).
I have been very grateful for those who have spent the time and money in making things like this and Josh Harris’ book on the subject of lust possible. These are the things that help us to see what the root problem is: it’s a matter of the heart that is supposed to love God with all of our hearts, with all of our souls, and with all of our MINDS; we need to love our sisters in Christ even as God loves us.
February 15th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
Thank you for all the time and effort so many of you put into this survey. Modesty in dress and attitude has always been my aim, yet as girls, we so often don’t realize how we cause guys to stumble. I haven’t been able to read all the results yet, but I just had to drop a comment and say how encouraged I was by all the comments concerning modesty being important to guys, and that modest girls DO make a difference! Living in a culture that screams for girls to wear skimpy clothing, it is a great encouragement to know that guys do appreciate the extra effort it takes to dress modestly and attractively.
Again — thank you for doing the survey, and I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the results!
February 15th, 2007 at 8:32 pm
Ok. Guess you can be happy now that you know guys appreciate modesty, eh?
One of the reasons that I don’t like the survey is the fact that guys (and girls, or course) are supposed to keep their minds pure and the survey is making them think about the parts of our bodies that they shouldn’t be. I would NEVER have recommended that any of my guy friends or my brothers take the survey.
February 15th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
Great Job! I absolutely love it! What a huge blessing!
February 15th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
I have really enjoyed looking through the modesty survey statistics! Technology sure is amazing!
I would be very curious to know whether breastfeeding is considered modest among Christian guys. If the person is nursing a baby and the baby and everything is totally covered with a blanket, is it modest? Or should a lady always leave the room to nurse her baby?
February 15th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
My older brother, Joel, just contacted me and shared three concerns he had with my last comment to Steph. I changed that last comment slightly, but I also wanted to post these clarifications here:
First of all, my last comment could be taken to imply to a Christian lady or wife that if her husband looks at pornography it is her fault because she “failed to support and protect him”. The truth is, just as a Christian guy who struggles with lingerie newspaper ads before he is married will probably still have to battle with that after he is married, so also a Christian guy who has a struggle with pornography before he is married will, in most cases, still struggle with it after he is married. His problem is lust and it is his problem.
Second, my comment could be taken as implying that the only men that fall in this way are the ones who refuse to be humble and honest about their struggles. There are thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) of Christian men who are humble and honest about their struggles… and yet they still struggle! Perfection does not zap them like a lightning bolt.
Thirdly, it could seem that I was saying that none of these 1,600 men who have been humble and honest about their struggles (by sharing their thoughts in the survey) struggle at all with pornography, which is most certainly untrue.
Hope that eliminates any misunderstandings. Other than those misinterpretation, I do stand by what I said and encourage Steph (and girls like her) to consider these thoughts. I share them only out of love and concern.
February 15th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
The only answer that genuinely surprised me was about immodesty being a problem among family members. I’ve no father and no brothers, so I grew up in an all-female home and it was never an issue. A young lady I know from church, however, had a rather severe reaction to that question — it deeply shook her innocence, I think. The idea that her brothers may struggle with lust about her was revolting, but it also caused her to question if her father may perhaps have similar struggles. This is a distressing idea for her (and if I had a father or brothers, I imagine it would be for me, as well) and I’ve really no notion of how to comfort her at the moment. Can any of the men who took the survey shed some light?
February 15th, 2007 at 9:55 pm
I love surveys! I absolutelly love them… Best thing invented by man. Mass information in a small amount of space.
Survey about modesty = absolutelly BRILLIANT!!! I am jumping for joy over the results: My chance to hear what hundreds of guys are actully saying about how I dress and how it affects them.
I am so tickled to know that all gals don’t have to wear sacks (like many of them today think they need too…) and that I was doing some things right (and that Hip Pants are still in if you wear a long camisol tucked in ha ha)
The questions are brilliant. They were the ones I had in my very own head. It basically covered every question I had. “Cept one, (it was a weird question
I learned that some of the ways of my conduct could possibly be a stumbling block to people like my brother and Dad, so I’ll watch out for these things. Anyhow. I KNOW now, there is no doubt about it.
Real guys giving
…real answers
…to real questions!
Praise God for the genius!
(Can you tell I”m excited? haha)
There is only one other thing I have to say. With all the questions, almost no exeption their remained one condition: The attitude of the heart. That struck me as I was reading and it strikes me as I’m typing here. It isn’t about sacky cloths or legaliticness… Its how the heart is. I.E. You can be dressed in a sacky dress (following all the legalistic rules) and still be the most seductive of women. Human Beings always want to make a bunch of rules about things so they have solid answers. This issues is harder than that. It’s dealing with your heart. And there are different areas of black and white depending on the person. There is no one rule fits all.
Guidlines are good, like this survey shows, but I bet, if you get the heart right and the rest follows, just as good as a cart behind a donkey.
(A lady with a heart to please God and hence be modest, will strive to know what really causes her brothers to stumble, leading her to this fabulous modesty survery, leading her to a conviction, of how they are dressing as modest or immodest, and to change! (or not change)
Cheers!
To God be all the glory! Amen!
You survey makers, and coordinaters, and all the people involved in this survery (as well as all the guys who had to answer a million questions and esp. to the ones who left text responses as well) YOU ROCK!!!
Eternal Monsoons of Blessings,
Beth
P.S. If you don’t know what a monsoon is, find and Arizonian and ask them
February 15th, 2007 at 11:35 pm
Holly: Thank you so much for that question. Here are some thoughts on the results you see: First, the strength of the vote on that particular question is largely due to many young men who were (understandably) unwilling to say that immodesty is ever not a problem, even though it isn’t a personal problem for them. Second, most who made any indication that immodesty in their own family was a problem also said that it was much less of a problem than immodesty outside the family—and indicated that is was usually a problem of being uncomfortable, not actually struggling with lustful thoughts. Finally, only a few (out of over 1,600) expressed that it was more than an infrequent problem.
Ultimately, the message of that question is that young ladies should practice discernment and propriety in dress and behavior, which is the same message as the other 147 questions. It is unwise (and unbiblical) to think that it is impossible for sin to infiltrate the home. To tell the truth, I was one of the guys who strongly agreed with the conclusion of that particular question. Now let me tell you what that means:
I do many, many things with my dear (and only) sister that I would never do with a girl outside my family. There is great freedom, trust and love between close siblings. When Brett and I review outfits for our sister, any encouragement for her to change something is never due to its being a stumbling block to us, but because it could be a stumbling block to another guy. There is a difference. However, were our sister ever to come out wearing an extremely low-cut top and mini-skirt (she would never do this), we would ask her to change, even if no other guys would see her. Our sister is in a special (and very good!) category, but it doesn’t make it impossible for her to be immodest around us. I believe that truth is what you (and your friend) see reflected in the results.
I pray this helps, Holly. May God bless you!
February 15th, 2007 at 11:35 pm
I feel a little late coming down here to the bottom and offering up my thanks as well. But, I spent the whole day yesterday (Valentine’s Day) promoting the survey - handing out cards, sending emails, uploading my blog, have debates about modesty with other teens and encouraging as many people as I could to get on and take a look.
Well, I didn’t get on until after the server restarted and I was blown away by what was (basically) handed to me on a silver platter. I have been waiting my whole life for something like this to come out and it was so awesome. Thank you to all the guys who answered the question, the Survey team who put it together and Alex and Brett for working so hard on it.
I only became a Rebelutionary a couple months ago and already The Rebelution has changed my life. I just want to praise God for the amazing effect the Survey and the Rebelution in general is already having in our country. Thank You Lord!
February 16th, 2007 at 3:18 am
Wow! This is so big, so overwhelming!
Thanks so much, gentlemen, for answering the questions and for your input and advice! It’s a priceless gift to us and we truly appreciate it!
Alex, Brett, and the rest of the team, you guys did a GREAT job!
God bless you in your ministry always!
In Christ,
Alyssa C.
P.S. Happy Valentine’s Day!!!
P.P.S. This is my best Valentine’s Day ever!
February 16th, 2007 at 5:38 am
Thank you, Alex. That’s very helpful and helps explain the seeming lopsidedness of the answers to that question. Being a lot older than my young friend, I wasn’t shocked at the answers to that question per se, but I definitely was by the percentages. Thanks for clarifying that “problem,” in that sense, does not equate to “burning with lust over my sister/cousin/daughter.”
February 16th, 2007 at 6:51 am
I have to admit I am very disappointed with the results of the survey. I was intrigued from the very beginning, and I thought this would be an opportunity to see what what some guys honestly think. If the answers had been simply the ratings I think this would have been much better. But I found myself sickened by the descriptive nature of the textual responses, and I was unable to finish reading the results. Yes, this is what they are really thinking, yes us girls do need to know these things, but for NO (I repeat NO) reason should we be subjected to this kind of language. Biology is something everyone knows about, but a young man with a girl’s best intrests at heart will NOT go into detail describing certain parts of her body. I think some of these answers were brought out by the questions, some questions I feel were out of bounds. I admire your desire to encourage girls to dress modestly, and yes, I learned a few things. But I still feel that men should not use their struggle with lust as a crutch. God says that our bodies are beautiful, and they are our husbands. This doesn’t mean just in what you look, or talk about. This is also with your words. When I read the responses on the survey I felt dirty, abused, and trashy. In no way did this edify my spirit, and encourage me that my body is valuable to God, and my future husband.
February 16th, 2007 at 7:23 am
Brett;
Thank you for taking the time out to express your concerns from a Godly perspective, this is very much appreciated!
lol - yes, I suppose you could call me some what of an idealist; and you are absolutely right that the first step in dealing with sin is recognizing you have th problem and being honest while doing so,
My problem is this ; i have read so many comments from the girls above, who have taken their time to say how much they appreciate the survey, how they didn’t realize that guys that guys were in such a dire and embattled struggle against us girls ;how they want to change - in a sense, we are like the fruit tree in the garden of Eden.
Yes, let’s take a look at that tree; God put it there - and what did he say about it? He said don’t touch it. Hm. Did he say…..anything else? um…*checks Bible*…nope, nothing. Just, merely, simply, ‘don’t touch it’. He didn’t delve into long discussions with Adam about how he knew it would a struggle, his thoughts, his feelings — nothing was discussed openly. God gave a command.
Later, Paul discusses in 1 Corinthians, and follows God’s example in simply saying that those who do it, will not inherite the kingdom of heaven.
My point is this; All throughout the Bible God is very clear. He knew what men were up against, but ???????. To quote one of my favorite lines from the move ‘Walk the line’
God said..
‘Don’t touch it, he didn’t say don’t think about touching it — don’t think about thinking about touch it, God said don’t touch it’.
Maybe that isn’t word for word,but I know it’s close.
Anyways - what many of the answers in the survey reflected was this new age belief about ‘expressing oneself’ and it’s ok to ‘come out of the closet about your struggles’. Many of the girls have treated the boys who answered this survey like heroes ; they expressed their true feelings - they were honest. Hm, this reminds me of the media who condones the homosexuals who struggle with the ‘natural’ way they are.
For isn’t that what you are saying when you say guys are ‘naturally’ attracted to pornograhy - it’s the way God made them — it’s not their fault. This mirrors exactly why we have a problem with homsexuality, and — oh what’s the word called - ‘gender changes’. ‘God makes me feel like a girl, i can’t help it - even if I am a guy.’ And in fact, God makes it clear that the body is not naturally attracted to sexual immorality by saying in 1 Corin. 6:13 ‘now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.’ - God obviously did not make the body naturally attracted to sexual thoughts.
He didn’t create you were naturally attracted to pornography and such. He was quite clear in commandments, and he expected you to obey them. Never once does he say ‘girls, thou shalt not be a temptation to men whom I have made naturally attracted to thee’. -
He said ‘adorn yourselves in modest apparal, with propiety and moderation….which is proper for a woman professing godliness, with good works’.
And this obviously rules out cleavage and tight jeans. He wasn’t saying’dress so you don’t tempt’ but dress in a way pleasing to God.
God says if your right hand offends you, cut it off - he didn’t say recognize the offence, treat it honesty, struggle with it, talk to it, — he treated the manner very bluntly. Guys, i think we need to get the axe out and start cutting off some limbs.
Such are my continued thoughts,
steph(y)
February 16th, 2007 at 7:29 am
I realize my paragraph is not completly edited, I didn’t have the time to - sorry for the big ???? in the middle- it’s what I do when I write!
I think you get the point, though
Steph(y)
February 16th, 2007 at 7:53 am
Just wanted to add to the “thank you’s”! As a single, young woman I want to know how to best serve my Master and Brothers in Christ in every aspect of my life. Even though I strive for modesty, it is wonderful to know what exactly affects men. Thank you to all those who submitted the questions, for those who answered them, and those who put this all together. Much time, effort, and love went into this.
“…present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”
February 16th, 2007 at 7:54 am
Thank you SO much to all the guys that put so much time into this survey for us. I’m sure I can speak for all the girls here when I say it is much appreciated!
February 16th, 2007 at 7:55 am
Only1Life, I am sorry that you felt that way. May I suggest that your father screen your reading for you more closely in the future? That may save you some distress. I am a good deal older than the Harris twins, and I am extremely impressed with how hard they worked to draw the line in a Christ-honoring place. There are some whose standards would call it scandalous that you, a young and unmarried woman, are even discussing these things with anyone except your parents and pastor. Others have standards that would draw the line in a less conservative place, as you obviously do, since you’re here talking about it. In discussing these important matters, a line has to be drawn somewhere. I believe it’s obvious that, under the authority and guidance of their godly parents, the Harris twins have done their best to draw the line in a place that’s both honest and protective of their sisters in Christ.
February 16th, 2007 at 7:55 am
Only1Life4Jesus: Did you read the responses to some of the “Open Questions” and the initial questions in the “General/Other” categories? I, for one, was immensely encouraged by some of those responses in particular! If you didn’t read them yet, please do before you dismiss the survey as “sickening” and “abusive.” I believe that, when used with a prayerful heart, this survey can be a valuable resource.
The ratings don’t carry much weight alone, as far as I’m concerned. It’s the text responses that really help you see what the guys meant, why they said it, and how they interpreted the question. I think they are a big help in keeping things as guidelines, rather than “thou shalt nots” and help to explain the principles behind the answer. Those principles can then carry over into other things that were not specifically mentioned.
Yes, some responses to some things might be a bit blunter than they could have been, but I found that, overall, the survey was very balanced and respectful. I am thanking God for the guys who have shared such encouragement to assist us in remaining pure and holy for God’s glory.
I hope you will consider reading the open responses, if nothing else. They might change your perspective. But if not, thank you for caring enough to share your concerns.
February 16th, 2007 at 8:15 am
Wow. I was interested in this survey from the first announcement, and now that I’ve seen it I’m not really sure how to respond. Some parts were great. I was quite glad to know that guys notice the efforts of modest girls and that they think too much make-up is nasty. I do too, so I don’t wear it (I figure, if you don’t like my face the way it is, then just don’t look at it
). However, I kept getting sort of irritated with some of the questions. Having every little thing you do picked apart and examined like a bug under a microscope is kind of … dehumanizing. Of course, I guess if we wanted to know what guys think (and I did) and since all questions were submitted by girls (I even submitted a few), there’s really no other way to handle the topic (aside from “use common sense”). What got me so upset was probably coming face-to- face with the harsh reality that guys notice EVERYTHING. It’s kind of unnerving. However, the fault for that clearly doesn’t lie on the survey itself. Uncomfortable as some parts were to read, I appreciate the wakeup call. And I really loved the answers to the first few questions about how guys appreciate and notice modesty. I always kind of thought that the “hot” (or even just pretty) girls were the ones they noticed (I guess I thought that because the whole point of modesty is, to some extent, not to be noticed). Anyway, thanks to everyone who participated in this.
February 16th, 2007 at 8:44 am
Steph,
I think you would do well to read Paul’s words about not knowingly causing a fellow believer to stumble.
Remember, too, that part of the Lord’s Prayer, as we term it, states “Lead us not in to temptation, but deliver us from evil”
No one is saying that men are not 100% responsible for keeping a tight rein on lustful thoughts and desires. However, if we women can help make this burden lighter, why shouldn’t we? We’re following the example set by our Savior when we help others in their struggles.
February 16th, 2007 at 9:00 am
I’m just wondering if its possible if there’s anyway to get a printout of the whole survey, as next week my youth group is splitting into gusy and girls, and we want to study the results with the girls at the church… and we don’t have computer access there! Is there a summary of the results or something that highlights the main points?
February 16th, 2007 at 9:16 am
As for my fellow girls,
Finding out just what a struggle the average (Christian or not) man has with lust can be overwhelming. Many of us start feeling as if we would have to wear burkhas in order not to be a stumbling block to men.
My suggestion - start with the basics. No skin-tight clothing, no cleavage, no short skirts or short shorts. Just these simple eliminations will go a long way towards a more modest appearance!
Ask G-d for help, and as time goes on, you’ll find it easier to manage procuring a modest wardrobe!
February 16th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
Alex,
Thank you for the clear explanation you gave to Holly’s question. Many girls have been asking the same question (me being one of them
), and it helped clarify some misconceptions. =)
And, Holly, thanks for asking the “unasked question”!
Becky
February 16th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
wow! amazing job! now i’ve got a basic idea of what i need to work on. and to all those guys out there that i know and/or have been around… sorry for anything i’ve ever done to make you think inpure thoughts.
god bless,
anna15
February 16th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
You’re welcome, Becky. Boldness is not my forte in general, but I knew that my young friend couldn’t be the only young lady who read those numbers and felt a bit shaken. I really appreciate the clarification he offered.
February 16th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Thank you guys for all your input and time! What I would have given to have this avaliable to me before I was married. I thank God every day for giving me a wonderful Godly Christian husband. All this info would have been great to know. I really had no idea what men thought about things like this before I met my husband. I didnt even think men looked or thought twice about girls who were modest, and that was me. I didnt wear the skimpy clothes and therefore was usualy passed up and not looked at, or so I thought. I honestly thought I’d be unmarried forever. Thank you Jesus for these awsome men who want to please You! And thank you for giving me a wonderful husband!
February 16th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
All in all, I felt the survey was very well-balanced. The text responses were especially helpful, as they gave the guys a chance to say why they agreed or disagreed, or to point out any possible exceptions to their stance. However, there was one that really irked me — the question about whether seeing a girl’s chest bounce when she walks or runs being a stumbling block. As a somewhat top-heavy female, I can testify that there is NO apparel out there that will completely do away with this problem. If there was, I would have purchased it already! Granted, most of the guys in their text responses said something along the lines of “…but I shouldn’t be looking there anyway” but I felt that having the question there at all…I don’t know…kind of validated the fact that guys are looking — especially the text responses that were along the lines of “girls should think before they just take off running.” You might as well have asked whether a guy lusts when he sees a girl’s elbow bend, or over the fact that she has a nose — because while I can do plenty to change the length of my skirt or the tightness of my blouse if I know a guy is going to have a problem, there is NOTHIN