I totally agree that more should be done to prevent immodesty in churches. Romans 12:2 tells us that we are not to conform to the pattern of this world, but so often I see Christian girls who are dressing just as immodestly as the non-Christian girls. I think there are two reasons that most church leaders are not pressing the issue:

1) Modesty is a sensitive topic and they are afraid of offending anyone or turning people away.

When you think about it, this really doesn’t make sense. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. We cannot, and are not supposed to, blend in with the darkness around us; we are supposed be different. We were put here to glorify God, to be a light and to bring people to Jesus. When we unashamedly take a stand for what is right, some people may feel threatened (which means that the Holy Spirit is convicting them of sin), but many will be drawn to the light. They won’t be drawn to us if we blend in with the darkness. If all of the churches in America imitated Christ more closely, I’ll bet nationwide church attendance would skyrocket!

2) Many of our Christian elders don’t expect us to be different than our more secular peers.

Most of our elders, Christians included, have low expectations for teens. They seem to be satisfied that we are in church instead of out on the streets. Many don’t realize the impact we can have on our generation - and the whole WORLD - if we just clean up our act and choose to follow Christ in every area of our lives.

I know it’s hard. The world is constantly bombarding us with its own opinions of how we should dress and act. It would be so much easier to dress modestly if we had more Christian adults and church leaders holding us accountable. My parents and younger sisters (I am the oldest) help to hold me accountable in this area, so I consider myself very blessed in that regard. Another thing that really helps me is this awesome verse I found. I typed it up and hung it next to my dresser on my wall:

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
-Galations 1:10

Don’t conform to the world. Stand firm and be a light. Always remember that you are not alone. This incredible survey proves that!

I agree with you. Men need to be held responsible for their actions. There should be no arguments about skirt hems and necklines. Men should be able to control themselves. God gave us a brain! Men should have a little bit more self control and not go crazy when they see an ankle or collor bone.

Graham

Moderator Note: It appears (from information only we are privy to) that this user is a woman, not a man, and that this comment is intentionally deceptive in that regard. If additional clarification is provided we will remove this disclaimer”

I’m a guy and I agree with her/him.

And on behalf of Christan girls everywhere,

Thanks for making the race a little easier!

Apparently this thread has dwindled down, but I have a few questions of my own, and if anyone would mind answering them I’d greatly appreciate it.

The main question I have, has to do with the responsibility of church leaders to hold those in the congregation accountable in the way they choose to conduct themselves. Why does it seem that the issue of modesty is so very hard to address in our churches and so-called Christian organizations?

In my last years of high school, I was surprised to witness the apparent blurring of lines in our homeschool circles. Those who have chosen to step aside and stand for morals that our nation’s education system ignores and almost mocks, seem to have suddenly let all they stand for slip into oblivion.
In my opinion, our leaders are failing in holding us accountable. A girl of any age, sometimes can’t be trusted to know herself well enough to be able to conclude in her own terms what is acceptable in the sight of the Lord. We need examples to follow and standards to be set. If our fathers and mothers allow us to walk out the door in clothing that reflects everything secular society embraces, the young lady will assume they condone her choices, and that there is nothing wrong with the way she dresses. If our earthly fathers condone secular dress, will we not assume that our Heavenly Father condones such as well?

The women of the church are piercing themselves and showing up on Sunday mornings in cocktail dresses; why does no one speak out? If we have accepted Christ, we have joined His body of believers as well. We have a responsibility to be accountable to one another. We are to put on the ‘new man’, and not walk according to the ways of this world.

It should not be taken that I mean to walk up to someone and tell them to their face that they are dressed immodestly. However, I would say that at times this could be appropriate with certain individuals. The Bible tells us that the older women are to instruct the younger. I believe that there are people God has placed in the Christian life, who do have the authority to confront us on issues such as these. Why would the Bible tell older women to instruct the younger women if we do not need instruction? If we really don’t know what to do without guidelines to follow?
And I ask, why is not more of this happening in today’s Christian culture?

A few years ago, the spring formal was held for our homeschool group, though, one of the most grounded young men of the group did not attend due to the immodesty of the young women. A Christian function, which’s purpose was to provide a healthy environment for young men and women of the faith to assemble and have decent, clean fun, had turned into something that a young man of deep moral conviction could not even attend without feeling offended!
A friend of mine was troubled by this, so she tried to gather the girls of the group together in order to sign a petition to take before the board of directors, that would suggest dress codes for our events. She didn’t gain any ground however, because the majority of the girls were divided on the subject, saying that it was the father’s job to decide what was acceptable for his daughters to wear.
So, if the fathers are condoning dress that offends Christian men, where does that leave us?

When we consider Christian organizations, and groups of women who have studied books on modesty, and read the modesty survey, even, but still seem to ignore all the warnings and put self before anything else, is it not the part of our leaders to take action? I just believe that there is too little importance put on the matter in our private circles. There IS a definite line to be drawn when it comes to modesty, as the survey points out. But in our churches, why does no one stand before the congregation and set these things before us? Why is church discipline effective in everything but this issue? And why does no one seem bothered that we appear so very much like the world? Are our ego’s really that important?

Whew, I’m probably asking for it! I’m afraid that as a woman posting this, I’m overstepping my boundaries. I firmly believe in trusting in men’s leadership, and that when a woman gets up and starts pointing fingers, it is very unbecoming of her. I just feel like we are a big puzzle that is falling apart because all of the pieces don’t want to work together.
Can we blame just one party? No, we’re all at fault. Fathers, mothers, sons and daughters all have a role to play. To simply boil it down, the role is to seek God’s will above our own; then, who He made us to be can’t help but shine through in our lives.
If I could learn to love Him more I know I’d certainly be a better daughter, sister and ultimately, woman.

Please let me know if I’ve been off-base with anything I’ve said. Honestly, I’m confused myself and am just looking for answers. This wonderful Modesty survey is evident that the Christian community IS responding to this issue, and I know that many girls have been touched by this. Thank you again and again!