Can I have a drink with dinner? Can I just fast forward through the sex scene in the movie? Should I smoke a cigar with my father? How tight is too tight? Should I buy the expensive car? What does God think about television? Or MySpace? Or Second Life? Does God care about these issues? This is Session Five: Gray Matters.

A groundwork for thinking about gray matters.

Assumption #1: Being transferred into Christ’s kingdom has redefined your identity.

Colossians 1:13 “He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son.”

In His kingdom there are new rules, new pleasures, new ways to view the issues we call “gray matters.” You are now Christ’s possession. He owns your bodies. He owns your eyes, your ears. You are in His kingdom.

Assumption #2: There is no such thing as gray.

Colossians 1:10 “[S]o as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him.”

All our direction, desire, and activity is under the veil of this verse: Living a life worthy of Him, fully pleasing to Him. This will not be a message of rules and regulations that go beyond what Scripture has clearly stated. Eric emphasized that the Bible teaches Christian liberty. But what he is advocating is that we change our default definition of “gray matters.” We must get rid of the idea that there are areas of life where God doesn’t care what we do, or where His Word does not speak. Our understanding of “gray matters” should be “those areas where we must work harder to know God’s will.”

A process for discerning what is pleasing to the Lord in gray matters.

1) Think Biblically: If you want to discern and decide what pleases God in gray matters we must think biblically. The more you get to know someone the more you get to know what they like and dislike. With people we often do this through trial and error or conversations over time. But God has done a miracle. He has painstakingly revealed Himself, what He likes and dislikes, what is foolish and unwise, through divine revelation in His Word.

We must study the Bible, meditate on it, memorize it. Gray matters remain fuzzy in our minds because we have not truly studied God’s Word. Hebrews 5:14 says, “But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” Discerning gray matters requires “constant practice” of applying God’s Word to every situation in life.

Our generation is marked with serious biblical ignorance, while also significantly expanding the scope of reach of these “gray matters.” Studies show that only 37% of Christians read God’s Word during the week and those people only read an average of eight minutes a day. On the flipside, the average American spends 9.5 hours per day with other, often worldly, mediums such as watching movies and surfing the web.

Millions of people have purchased a contraption that promise to give us sculpted-abs with only 10 minutes per day wearing an electric belt. We can look down on them as foolish, but it’s just as foolish to say we’ll be discerning in gray matters with only 8 minutes per day reading God’s Word.

We cannot be biblically ignorant and discerning at the same time. Those who know God’s Word and have constantly practiced will have discernment. Those who are ignorant of God’s Word and inconsistently practice will not have discernment.

2) Distrust Your Heart: Every gray matter begins with a desire. We have a desire to watch a movie, we have a desire to have a drink, or we have a desire to buy an expensive car. God created pleasure and many pleasures in His creation can bring Him great glory. He wants us to enjoy His world, but our desires for pleasure can turn into a sinful feeding of our flesh.

We can be easily be deceived by our desires. Our flesh is adept at luring and enticing us. Our tendency is to defend the actual activity without address our actual motivation. “There’s nothing wrong with ________.” But to be discerning in gray matters we have to put aside the general issues and go for the motivation.

Discernment in gray matters requires a grace-filled distrust of our hearts. We must ask ourselves the “Why?” question. Why do you want to watch that movie? Why do you want that tattoo? Why do I want to buy that shirt?

We need to involve others. We need new eyes and new wisdom to help us discern gray matters. We must be submissive, open to reason from God and others. Who are your counselors in your family and local church who are testing your wisdom and discernment and asking you the “Why” question?

God in His wisdom creates community through this kind of interaction. We should go to others and say, “Brother, sister, I need your eyes on this issue. My heart can deceive me. I don’t want to do evil to my Lord. Will you help me in that? Will you challenge me?”

3.) Imitate your Father.

Who you choose to imitate typically defines what is right and wrong in your eyes. So who are we trying to be like? If we’re honest, we’re all trying to be like someone (or a sub-culture of people). We pick up their fashion habits, methods, and activities. We need to ask the question, “Who am I imitating in this action?”

Ephesians 5:1 tells us who we are to imitate: “Imitate God as dearly loved children.” As dearly loved children we should love what our Father loves and hate what our Father hates.

What does this look like? We are told in chapter 4, verse 24: “Put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” Holiness means distinctness, set apart for God’s glory and set apart from sin.

Ask: “Will this help me reveal God’s glory and set me apart from sin?”