Now I have the blessing of people in my Sunday school class and a Bible study group that are willing to look beyond my age and have welcomed me into their circle. God blessed me greatly in this way. I was more speaking about the superiority some experience in certain situations and how to avoid hard feelings in those situations.

In HIM,
~Elizabeth

“Personally, the best way I have found to receive from God is to give to others, and the best way I have found to grow is to encourage others in their growth, ambitions, and accomplishments. In fact, when I am in a really, really bad mood or if I am really grieving over a loss I will sometimes find someone I can cheer up or encourage as that gets my mind and eyes back on God, off of myself or the situation, and I am by extension preaching to myself what I really need to hear — I know that sounds strange, but it just works to bless others when you’re feeling you need blessing.”

If I may rewrite it, so as not to encourage something lesser than I intended, I probably should have said:

Personally, the best way I have found to receive from God (through others) is to give to others, and the best way I have found to grow (with the help of others) is to encourage others in their growth, ambitions, and accomplishments. But BY FAR, the best way to receive from God, of all ways, is to give to Him; and the best way, of all ways, to grow is to spend time alone with Him (in His Word, worshiping, praying) — sometimes He will use people in our lives to give to us or help us, but He is and should always be the primary source of all that we need and all nourishment and inspiration and the first we seek.

Also, the best thing to do in a bad time IS to get alone with God and let Him satisfy our needs; but when we do come into contact with people, need help getting our eyes off ourselves and what we don’t have, are called to continue serving, or want help from our brothers and sisters in Christ — giving and helping can often be a better and more rewarding, beneficial way to go about it (sometimes) than seeking and asking.

Now I’m totally off-topic, though (on both the article Alex posted, and this discussion). So, feel free to respond to what I’ve said, if you’d like; but I think this will be all for me here.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and God bless! =)

I only have a few minutes to respond as I am just taking a break in between stuff, but I wanted to clarify real quick. I absolutely agree that we should not neglect or avoid friendships where we receive in return equally (or more than) what we give those friends — or what we give to others. But as Jesus taught His disciples to not just love those who love them, but to love those who hate them; and not just to give to/serve their friends who would repay the favor, but to give to and serve the poor who could never repay; likewise, I believe that to “walk as Jesus would Walk” we should not just pursue/invest in the friendships that are rewarding, but in those that are not (which we may not even consider friendships, at various times).

Personally, the best way I have found to receive from God is to give to others, and the best way I have found to grow is to encourage others in their growth, ambitions, and accomplishments. In fact, when I am in a really, really bad mood or if I am really grieving over a loss I will sometimes find someone I can cheer up or encourage as that gets my mind and eyes back on God, off of myself or the situation, and I am by extension preaching to myself what I really need to hear — I know that sounds strange, but it just works to bless others when you’re feeling you need blessing.

And one more note in response to what you said; I do believe that, although it’s not what we would want to believe, there are many times in our lives when God does not will that we have the support of others so that we can and will learn reliance on Him and so that we will have the kind of close relationship with Him that we will not lose when our “crutches” are taken away (a family member gets sick, a mentor has a personal crises, a friend turns away from God, a sibling goes to college) — He isolates us so that we learn to abide in Him and find the kind of support, edification, help, safety, protection, and teaching that is eternal and which cannot be taken from us because it is directly from Him.

You brought up my friendship with my mother, and you’re right about how great that is and what a blessing she is in my life; but we didn’t always have each other. When I was younger, God allowed a lot, and I mean a lot of stuff to come between us (family problems, sicknesses, busy schedules, hurt feelings, needy friends) so that we actually did not have any close friends for a time — neither of us did — and we had to find God to be the kind of friend you described is necessary.

My goal in friendship is first of all to know God at all times in the way a man I once read about knew Him — the man was chased by savages into a tree where he hid for hours, alone; and yet, he said that he was not alone there — without mentor, without earthly companion, without family, without pastor or church he was held in a sweet embrace — he said that God was so real and that He held him in His Arms and spoke to him. When telling the story, the man asked something like, “Do you have a friend like that?” No earthly companion can be that kind of Friend — not in hours of need like that, of which there are many.

Wow — I guess that was more than “one more note”! But absolutely, good friends are definitely a means of God’s grace in our lives and should never be neglected or ignored; although I do believe that we should only fully pursue the God of grace, Himself, as our friend and companion — and that He will sometimes lead us where He is our only source to fill our need, yet still cause us to give in abundance and lay down all for people He calls to be His friends.

Thanks for letting me clarify!

That is very good advice about friendship! Thank you for sharing it!

One other thing that I’ve learned about friendship is to not make friends by what you can get out of them, but by how you can serve the Lord by serving them. In other words, we all like to have friends that return what we try to give to them, but sometimes God has better ideas (i.e. growing our character) so He allows us to be in situations where we must love strictly sacrificially — nothing expected. Ironically, the best way to learn how to be a friend is not always to have good friends, but rather to struggle in your friendships and by that way to learn what kind of friend you need (and others need, too). And, I think that sometimes while my goal is to HAVE friends, God’s goal for me is always that I would BE a faithful friend regardless of rewards.

Have you had similar experiences? What are your thoughts?

Elizabeth Joy:

First of all, I have dealt with similar in feeling different from my peers. I finished school when I was 13 and was very enthusiastic about music, art, and writing — and kids/teens my age thought I was a little odd for that.

One thing that helps is humor — when kids used to ask me about home-schooling and they found out I’d finished early, they’d say, “Wow — you must be really smart!” I wanted to say, “Yeah!” (I’m kidding) but I found it more helpful when making friends to say, “You don’t know me yet, do you?” and try to change the subject to areas they could challenge me on (something they know a lot about).

Also, something about being better than others in one area that is good to remember is that they probably have just had different experiences than you and need to be eased into it a little until they feel comfortable enough to be enthusiatic about it (since they may not be very good at the things you are good at just because they haven’t gotten too many chances to try).

For example, I love calligraphy and if I asked you (assuming you don’t write calligraphy) to help me out with some wedding invitations, you’d probably be a little apprehensive — although it may be something you’d really enjoy and could even be better at than I am if you’d had as much practice as I’ve had.

Likewise, if you asked me to help out caring for a baby, I wouldn’t know too much about it so I’d feel a little awkward — but it would be something I’d want to learn to do well, because I know I’d love it (since I love kids — and would like to have my own someday).

So, maybe if someone seems a little apprehensive or slow to help, just be really, really patient as they could just be afraid of messing up or afraid they will take up too much of your time while they learn.

And second, something that really gets rid of pride in my life is to always keep His Work at the Cross in view.

Paul, in the Bible, wrote about boasting only in the Cross of Christ — we can only do that as we truly remember the Cross of Christ, what we cost Him, and when we realize what we would be without Him.

When I look at the Cross and think of the Sacrifice He gave — what He bore as punishment for my sins — I realize that I am, and would forever be, nothing without Him (I’d be sinful and horrible). Only because of His Love for me do I have the blessings and giftings He’s given me (which I didn’t deserve) and only because of His Grace in my life do can I use those gifts for good, and with a good heart, to please and glorify Him.

So anything I am that is good, anything I accomplish, is not my work to take credit for, but a result of His Work in creating me with Love and saving and transforming me by His Grace — all work is His and His alone to receive credit for — is the result of His Love and Grace.

And only as I abide in Him, can I continue to produce fruit (only as I fellowship with Him, feed on His Word, obey Him — thus let Him impart His Character into my life — can I continue to do good things, or be good in my heart, for His glory).

Also, in relation to friendships, it helps to not see inspiring/exhorting them as mentoring them, but rather as helping them freely as God has provided others to help you (or has Helped you directly) — serving Him in your friends’ lives by being what they may need (a push, pat on the back, influence in pointing their eyes to Christ) to better serve Him themselves.

I’d love to hear your thoughts back on this — and thanks for bringing it up! Also, I’d just like to say that it’s really cool what you’re doing (and all God has enabled you to do already) — what you shared about how you serve actually confirmed in a really cool way a dream/ambition of mine that I’ve been praying about making a reality — thank you! I am very encouraged. =)

I also struggle to make friends although the reasons may be different. What my mom has always encouraged me to do is keep trying. Keep inviting and starting conversations even when they do not return your interest. Eventually they may see that you are just a normal person and be inspired by your example rather than intimidated by it. Also, take advantage of your relationship with the Lord during this time. I have found that I find God dearer as I see my need for Him more. He knows your needs and desires and He will satisfy them as you delight yourself in Him. (Ps. 37:4)

Also about leading in the nursery class, I do not think that you need to worry. A man’s (or woman’s) gifts makes room for him. (Prov 18:16) I taught the 3 year olds at my church when I was 18 and found that the adult helpers were glad to help me. The focus is the gospel, so gifting is what is needed, not necessarily age. As long as you are respectful of their greater experience and honor them as adults, I do not think you will have any problems. I hope you have great success in serving these precious little ones and their parents!

By the way, I really like your name. It is so cheerful! God bless.

Amen!

Soldiers for Jesus!!!!

God Bless and Soli Deo Gloria