Articles When You're Lonely

Published on November 8th, 2017 | by Jeanette van As

When You’re Lonely

I’m a loner.

I love and enjoy people, but after extended socialising I need to recharge by myself. I don’t do crowds, and love visiting with my friends one-on-one. But if no “friend time” is forthcoming, I can be perfectly fine doing my own thing for weeks on end.

That doesn’t mean I don’t suffer from Empty Emotional Tank Syndrome sometimes. Or loneliness.

Plenty of tears

For the past two years or so, I’ve definitely been in a lonelier season. There have been days when the feeling of aloneness drove me to tears, but I can’t put my finger on a cause as such. Nettie-all-alone I called myself sometimes (when I really lost perspective). They’ve all got a friend except me.

It has not been easy. And the hardest thing is sitting at God’s feet and asking Him, through the tears, when it will end.

Plenty of Lessons

Yet I’ve learned to press into God for comfort and companionship. And I’m encouraged when I think of Jesus’ time on earth and realise that He, too, was lonely. He was surrounded by people, but there were so few of them He truly gelled with. In many ways, He didn’t belong.

Also, I have grown close to my sisters (aged fifteen and nine) because of this. I guess, given our biggish age gaps, this may not have happened unless I’d been gently forced to spend more time with them and build a deeper relationship. I know this is something I will be very grateful for in years to come.

He Meets Our Needs

I bring my needs to God regularly, and the wonderful challenge of this season has been to see how He meets them – and, because He doesn’t always do it as I thought He might, to recognize those incidents for what they are. I’ve been regularly bowled over by Him.

It’s amazing how much it means when a little Xhosa girl blows you a kiss; your six-year-old cousin comes willingly to sit on your lap after supper and practically falls asleep; or someone you know well makes a concerted effort to hug you tight each time they see you.

I recently shared my lonely experiences with my aunt. Part of her reply has given me a lot of courage: “I guess loneliness can also be its own crucible for something beautiful.”

I hold onto the promise of a beautiful thing.

“For God has said, ‘I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.’” (Hebrews 13:5)

Share Your Thoughts in the Comment Section!

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About the Author

is a 19-year-old child of God who stands on nothing but His grace. A proudly South African homeschool graduate, she loves music, reading, writing, and all things Celtic. She very recently dared to step into the world of blogging.

  • Katherine Forster

    This is a beautiful article, Jeanette! I really enjoyed it!

  • Jeanette van As

    Thank you very much, Katherine! I’m honoured that you enjoyed it :)

  • This is such a great reminder! God is with us even when we feel alone!

  • Beautiful article, Jeanette! Thank you so much for sharing and so excited for you that it got published here! :)

    • Jeanette van As

      Honoured that our Father used my words :) thank you, Bella, for your inspiration and encouragement!

  • This is such a great article, Jeanette! I have been feeling the same recently, and your words really encouraged me :)

    • Jeanette van As

      Thank you very much, Ashley! I’m so thankful that God used my words. Hang in there; no pain is wasted with Him :)

  • Courtney Peetz

    This was so sweet! I too, am a loner, so I found it very comforting. Thank you Jeanette!

    • You’re so welcome, Courtney :) Honoured that it meant something to you!

  • Loner here.

  • Pieter

    Beautiful article! Vinnige vragie, is jy Afrikaans?

    • Baie baie dankie!!! Natuurlik! Met ‘n naam soos Van As …. kan ek mos NET van Hollandse afkoms wees!! 😄

      • Pieter

        Haha dis mooi. Ek het so gedink, maar wou nie so iets aanneem nie😉 ek wil graag vir jou kontak in terme van ‘n ander soort blog, ek verstaan dat mens nie graag jou kontak besonderhede so publiek soos hierdie plaas nie, so hier is ‘n e-pos adres: pp.vandeventer
        By gmail punt com. Nou is myne ook redelik veilig tensy daar afrikaanse hackers hieroor is😉
        Stuur seblief vir my ‘n e-pos, dan kan ons van daar af komunikeer.

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