How should a godly young person respond to The Modesty Survey? That’s a huge question — one that Alex and I have been striving to answer for the past three to four months. Leave it to our older brother, Joshua, best-selling author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl, to succinctly and powerfully answer that question — turning our eyes away from ourselves and to Christ.

Joshua Harris’s Take On The Modesty Survey

My brothers, Alex and Brett have accomplished something very unique with The Modesty Survey. In an appropriate and tactful way they’ve facilitated a conversation between men and women on a most delicate issue: modesty in dress. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to think of it when I first saw it. Some of the statements on the survey struck me as really funny, even odd. I kept waiting for a statement like, “It’s a stumbling block for a girl to be pretty” — 95% of men agree!

But this is where it’s really important to understand the concept. Alex and Brett are not editing the real questions of girls or the real opinions of guys — they’re just giving them to you straight without commentary. So you may or may not be able to relate to the statements made or the majority opinions in response to certain statements. That’s okay. Alex and Brett aren’t telling you what to think. But they are asking you to think for yourself and prayerfully consider before God how your life and actions effect other people around you. And that’s what a thoughtful perusal of The Modesty Survey should lead you to do — evaluate your own heart and life.

I wish we didn’t need this survey. I wish that fathers and brothers in local churches could serve their daughters and sisters and that each home could provide loving direction on its own. But obviously that’s not possible for everyone. And for those who lack that kind of godly counsel and input this Survey is a useful tool.

As you review it, don’t forget to pray for your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Ask that God would help others around the world to honor Him and love each other sincerely. And remember that ultimately the most important survey is the Survey of One — what God thinks of your heart, motivations and actions. I pray that this survey will remind you that regardless of what others think, pleasing Him in all you do is your highest priority.

Read: From Alex and Brett / From Fred Stoeker / From Joshua Harris

Fred Stoeker, best-selling author of the Every Man’s Battle Series, is a powerful voice for sexual purity, especially when it comes to challenging men to take responsibility for their own lust. He doesn’t back down from that challenge in writing his take on TheRebelution.com’s Modesty Survey.

Fred Stoeker’s Take On The Modesty Survey

Girls are in a tough spot when it comes to modesty. They are called by God to dress modestly, but because they aren’t born with the same “visual nature” in their sexuality as guys are, it is difficult for women to spot where modesty begins and ends. Where are the boundaries? What trips a guy’s trigger, and what doesn’t?

As guys, we complicate it further by carelessly sinking to our own lowest levels sexually. Our visual nature first forces God to call women to modesty, depriving them of their freedom to define their own style of dress. While that is frustrating in its own way, their real frustration comes when we only pay attention to the girls in our youth groups that dress hot, while ignoring the ones who dress modestly and chase after God. We expect the women to protect us from our own visual nature by dressing modestly, while doing little to rise above that nature ourselves, allowing them to be penalized twice over for our nature

Who can blame the girl who throws up her hands and snaps, I’m through worrying about this modesty thing! Their eyes are their problem, not mine! I certainly can’t blame them as long as we are being so lazy about it ourselves. We must take care of our own responsibilities first by disciplining our eyes and our minds to line up with scripture if we expect our women to line up in modesty. We are men. We must lead in all this.

And that is what I love about the Modesty Survey. It allows guys to take some responsibility and leadership. We can honestly help train our sisters in Christ about where those boundaries lie and, hopefully, as we think through the issue ourselves, we can begin to stand up as men by joining the Rebelution against low expectations. Expect more of yourself sexually. Begin by honoring those girls around you who are dressing modestly and who are focusing as much on their inner beauty as their outer apparel.

Read: From Alex and Brett / From Fred Stoeker / From Joshua Harris

When we agreed to facilitate a co-ed discussion on the subject of modesty, we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. Hundreds of high school and college age girls submitted questions and over 1,600 guys responded. What was originally intended to be a low-key discussion on Forum became a widely-publicized event — receiving over 500,000 hits in just the first twelve hours of its launch.

Taking Heat for the Modesty Survey

The response has been overwhelmingly positive, but there has also been criticism. The Modesty Survey has made appearances on many prominent feminist blogs and hundreds of their readers have taken the time to visit our website and express their indignation at what they see as sexually-repressed, fundie teens. Andrew Sullivan called the survey “a pale shadow of the kind of strictures in most Islamic countries,” and expletive-laced emails have not been uncommon.

Many people are concerned that the survey focused on female modesty and not male modesty also. For this the survey is accused of being hateful towards women and displaying excessive, biased patriotism towards the male gender. This is, of course, not true. The survey was requested by women, and we have repeatedly expressed our openness to conducting a follow-up survey for guys.

Why We Can’t Do This Every Day

To be perfectly honest, we feel like we just had a baby and are being criticized for having a boy, not a girl, being told we should have had twins, and being asked how soon we’re going to have another (and by golly it had better be a girl this time)!

Just like people don’t have babies every few months (or every nine months), we don’t have time to invest in multiple surveys in a single year. It was an enormous and time-consuming project, just like writing a book. If God wills, we’ll be releasing the results of another survey on St. Valentine’s Day 2008. If we don’t, it won’t be because we didn’t want to, it will because God has something else for us to do.

In the Meantime, Some Clarifications

Alex and I are so glad we facilitated The Modesty Survey. It was (and still is) a great idea that we hope will continue to be a blessing for years to come. For those who actually look at the survey, examine the results, browse the Open Questions, and read our two-part series, The Responsibility of Modesty, the Survey can only come across as a humble plea, not an edict or list of rules.

However, whenever you address a controversial subject like modesty you should expect misinterpretation and offense. For that reason we have prepared a short list of clarifications that address some of the primary objections to the survey:

OBJECTION #1: Men scrutinizing every detail of female dress.

RESPONSE: The survey questions were submitted by Christian teenage and college age women. The guys did not decide to scrutinize every little detail of female dress and design a survey about them. In fact, if guys had written the survey questions you can be sure it would have been much, much shorter. As it was, we cut the 148-question survey down from over 360 submitted questions. It should also be noted that we (and 99% of the guys) had no idea what gauchos, sheer sleeves, or empire waists were before this survey. The items and terms were appropriately photo-illustrated or defined throughout the survey to avoid confusion.

OBJECTION #2: Alex and Brett Harris telling women how to dress.

RESPONSE: Alex and I merely facilitated this conversation. I didn’t even take the survey. We had no control over the results. Our two-part series, The Responsibility of Modesty, and this three-part series, The Modesty Survey Revisited reflect our personal view on the topic. We strongly promote and appreciate modesty, but we do not presume to define it specifically for everyone. There is liberty in Christ for different convictions. The Modesty Survey is not a Rebelution dress code.

OBJECTION #3: Strange men telling women how to dress.

RESPONSE: The way we explain it to our readers is that the results are accurate of what the respondents think, but are not necessarily true of what God desires for men and women in their interaction with one another. It is a resource—a glimpse into the minds of a group of 1,600 men—not a list of rules. There are inaccuracies (on both extremes), but there are also many balanced and reasonable answers. If it is viewed as a resource, not a dress code, you have the freedom to keep the good and disregard the bad.

OBJECTION #4: Placing all the blame on women.

RESPONSE: If you read the responses to the question, “As a guy, what is your responsibility in this area? What is your role in guarding your eyes and mind (as opposed to the women’s role of dressing modestly)?” you will find that 99% of the respondents identify themselves as primarily/entirely responsible for their own lust. And if you read our series, The Responsibility of Modesty, you will see that blaming women is the exact opposite of what the survey is all about.

The Modesty Survey Revisited

As we’ve watched the blogosphere erupt (both positively and negatively) over The Modesty Survey, we’ve recognized the need to clarify the nature and purpose of the project. This three-part series is our attempt at doing that. Over the next few days we will be posting short commentary from our older brother, Joshua Harris, best-selling author of Sex Isn’t The Problem, Lust Is, as well as from Fred Stoeker, best-selling author of Every Man’s Battle and Every Young Man’s Battle.

These men are not 100% enthusiastic about The Modesty Survey — no one should be — rather they bring balanced counsel which warns against the survey’s dangers without discarding the benefits. We hope they will serve you.

Read: From Alex and Brett / From Fred Stoeker / From Joshua Harris

It has been exactly one week since The Modesty Survey results were released as a St. Valentine’s Day gift to Christian girls. Since then it has received over 1.9 million page loads from nearly 100,000 unique visitors.

Endorsements From Respected Leaders

Already, several highly-respected ministry leaders have given their endorsement to this project, including Shaunti Feldhahn (best-selling author of For Women Only and For Young Women Only), Nancy Leigh DeMoss (author, Revive Our Hearts radio host), C.J. Mahaney (Sovereign Grace Ministries), and Shannon Ethridge (best-selling author of Every Woman’s Battle series). Take the time to read those endorsements.

Help Spread The Word

Our prayer is that the powerful message of The Modesty Survey will serve as a encouragement, exhortation, and education to millions of Christian men and women around the world. But it is only by God’s grace, evidenced through your willingness to get behind The Modesty Survey, that we will find them.

To make it easy for you we have created a page with Three Suggestions for how you can get involved. We give you sample text for email blasts and blog posts, as well as slick promo cards to hand out at church and school.

Finally, if you have a story of how The Modesty Survey has impacted you or someone you know, don’t hesitate to send it to us. We’d love to hear from you.

Read Endorsements / Get Involved

Girls, if you would like to to thank all of the guys who shared their hearts and advice in the Modesty Survey, then here’s your chance! Beauty from the Heart is hosting a “Thank You” note for you to sign. If you have been blessed through the Modesty Survey, then be sure to express your appreciation here.

Alex and I are excited to share the following resource with you. It is heart-focused, grace-filled, gospel-centered message by CJ Mahaney, entitled The Soul of Modesty. We posted about this before the Modesty Survey results were released, but we felt it could use additional attention.

CJ Mahaney is the leader of Sovereign Grace Ministries, the man who mentored our brother Josh at Covenant Life Church, and one of Alex’s and my living heroes.

In his generosity and support of this project, Mr. Mahaney has given special permission to make this audio message available to our readers free of charge.

If we could have, we would have made everyone listen to this message before viewing the survey results. As it is, we strongly encourage each of you to avail yourself to this wonderful resource, which will help you to properly approach and apply the results of the Modesty Survey. We know you will be blessed.

+ ‘The Soul of Modesty’ +
Message by C.J. Mahaney © 2003 Covenant Life Church

• The Modesty Survey Petition: A list of seven encouragements from Christian guys to the girls reading the survey results.

• The Responsibility of Modesty (Part 1): Excerpted from the survey results, a 20-year-old Christian man shares a powerful summation of men’s responsibility in this area.

• The Responsibility of Modesty (Part 2): Excerpted from the survey results, a 22-year-old Christian man shares an insightful analogy explaining the responsibility of women to protect their brothers in Christ.

• The Purpose of Clothing: John Piper explains both the negative and positive messages God communicated by clothing Adam and Eve after they fell into sin.

• Free To Be Modest: Nancy Leigh DeMoss explains how living under the Ownership and Lordship of Jesus Christ, frees us to be modest.

Alex and I want The Modesty Survey to impact as many people as possible. But in order for that to happen we need your help in spreading the word.

ATTENTION GUYS: Sign the Modesty Survey Petition

We’re looking for at least 100 official promoters (guys and girls) who will commit to (1) posting about the release of the survey results on St. Valentines Day, (2) sending an email blast out to all of their friends once the results are released, and/or (3) printing and handing out promo cards to friends at church and school.

We know many of you are already planning to let your friends know about the survey, but we want to partner with and help make your job as easy as possible.

1.) Post On Valentines Day

Even if you don’t have that many people reading your blog, by posting and linking to the Survey Results on Valentines Day you will help boost the survey’s rank on Google and other search engines. Don’t think you’re blog is too “small” to help.

If you haven’t already, make sure you’ve placed one of our snazzy ads on your website or blog. The ads automatically update, so by leaving it on your blog your readers will always have the latest information on The Modesty Survey.

If you are willing to post about the Modesty Survey when the results are released on Wednesday, contact us at: info [at] therebelution [dot] com. We’ll not only send you sample text for your post, but we’ll also email you the minute the Survey Results go live on Valentines Day. You’ll be among the first to know.

2.) Send An Email Blast

Email is even more targeted than a blog post. You can come up with a list of the people that would be interested in the results and then let them all know about it with a click of your mouse. You might email five friends, you might email a hundred. It all depends on how many friends you have.

If you are willing to send out an email blast when the results are released on Wednesday, contact us at: info [at] therebelution [dot] com. We’ll not only send you sample text for your email, but we’ll also email you the minute the Survey Results go live on Valentines Day. You’ll be among the first to know.

3.) Hand Out Promo Cards

We’ve found that it’s not very hard to tell people about The Modesty Survey. All you have to do is mention that they can find out what 1,500+ Christian guys think about modesty, and they’re asking you for the web address. That’s why we’ve designed some slick promo cards that you can download as a PDF and then print at Kinkos.

Click here to download the PDF file. Put the file on a USB Drive, trot down to your neighborhood Kinkos, and print as many as you need ($1.49 per sheet of 10). Make sure you print them full-size, color, and on glossy cardstock. They’ll look good and help you look good when you tell your friends at church or school.

Note: Don’t have Kinkos cut the cards out for you. It costs more and it’s easy enough to do yourself with a paper-cutter or some good scissors.

Thank You All For Your Support

The all-volunteer Modesty Survey Team has poured hours-upon-hours into facilitating this incredible discussion between Christian guys and girls—but it is you who can decide the impact the survey results will have as you faithfully spread the word to your family, friends, pastors, youth pastors, etc.

Our hope is that the powerful message of The Modesty Survey will serve as a encouragement, exhortation, and education to tens-of-thousands of Christian men and women around the world. But it is only by God’s grace, evidenced through your willingness to get behind The Modesty Survey, that we will find them.

Don’t wait! Contact us now and let us know that you’d like to serve as an official promoter: info [at] therebelution [dot] com

After the Modesty Survey came to a close, we hinted at an opportunity for Christian guys to make an additional contribution to the project—one of utmost importance. With little less than a week before the results are to be released, we are excited to announce the Modesty Survey Petition.

What is the Modesty Survey Petition?

On the surface, the petition is very simple. It consists of seven single-sentence encouragements for the Christian girls who will view the survey results. Each addresses a critical aspect of feminine modesty as it relates to the Modesty Survey.

In the early stages of this project, and through the faithful counsel of godly friends, Brett and I realized the shortcomings and dangers of the survey: legalism in the application of the results, distraction from the full meaning of biblical modesty, even rebellion against parental authority—all opposed to the purpose of the Rebelution.

Over the past month, we have striven to guard against these dangers. Some are directly addressed in the survey itself, through the Christ-honoring input of godly men. Others we have addressed through comments, posts, and resources.

The Modest Survey Petition represents a culmination of these efforts. It is good for Brett and me to say these things, but it is far better for all of the Christian guys who took the survey—and even those who did not—to affirm them together.

Information and Instructions

Everyone: Spread the word! The Modesty Survey Petition takes just seconds to complete, but is of utmost importance. If you know anyone who took (or wanted to take) the Modesty Survey, alert them to this new opportunity to participate. Recruit new people, as well. The more signatures, the better. If you haven’t yet, place a snazzy ad on your website or blog.

Christian Guys: The link below will take you to the petition page where you can sign your name. When the Modesty Survey is released, the petition and the names of the guys who signed it will be featured with the results. Ages 12 and up.

+ The Modesty Survey Petition +