rebelling against low expectations

How do you fight insecurity?


ANONYMOUS WRITES: Insecurity is something I’ve struggled a lot with throughout life – over my appearance, my body, my grades, my work. I want to know what I can do to combat it in a way that honors God.

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  • First, I would like to say that God says in His Word that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Also, we are made in God’s image. No matter what anyone else says, nothing can change that.

    That said, dealing with insecurity can be tough. It is a hard obstacle to overcome. I personally have dealt with insecurity over my body and appearance. I tried many different things to get through this. I focused on the positive things. But, for me, for every positive thing I thought of, three negative things came to mind. If this is the problem you are facing, I get it. I was there too. But something I heard in a sermon once changed everything. It was such a simple truth that I knew from growing up in a Christian home. But something about having someone say it me made me stop and thank God. The pastor simply said, “God loves you for who you are. He doesn’t care what you look like or what grades you get. He cares about your heart. Just always remember in the face of insecurity: God loves YOU.”

    I know that this is a simple truth that most Christians know. But if you say to yourself,”God loves me so much that He died for me. He died because I was just being me.” This is something I told myself over and over again. I also made friends who were very encouraging and who told me that I looked fine. I was beautiful the way I was. Instead of looking at pictures of people that looked the way I wanted to look, I looked at character. I searched my Bible for character traits that are God-honoring. Humility, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control, patience, joy, love, peace, goodness, grace, mercy, etc. I made a point of having a consistent quiet time to let God chisel me. I let God make me into a person with these traits. The more I did this, the more I looked in the mirror and saw the person I wanted to see: a God-honoring person who wanted to share with others the change in me.

    I hope that this helps you. It was a process, and it definitely took time to accept how God made me. But it was so worth the wait. I pray that God helps you to accept yourself how you are. Always remember that God loves you so much that He died for you just as you are.

    God Bless! : )

  • I think the simple answer is fight the insecurity (which often comes from lies that the culture has made us believe) with the Truth.
    Instead of listening to the lies, preach God’s Truth to yourself daily and let his word fill your heart. One of my favorite Psalms which my family calls the “Birthday Psalm” is Psalm 139. That Psalm is often my go-to Psalm for preaching to myself the Truth of what God says of me rather than believing the lies that society throws at me. Hope you may find that encouraging and helpful. 😉

  • Okay, Hannah nailed it. You have to fill yourself with the Truth, and the best place to find it is in the Word. So soak in it; read big chunks and let it change you.

    Another thing that helps me remember truth, is to go through Ephesians 2 and write down everything it says I am in Christ. Amd then to read Romans 8 and find all the promises God gives me if I’m saved.

    Pray deeply and often about this. You’re to weak to fight your own battles. You need God, so ask him to help you. (If you can’t think of what to say maybe go to one of the Psalms and let that be a guide.)

    And last, you need the church. Find godly believers (your age, and maybe a few older women) who can tell you the Truth and call you out when you start to forget it.

    Hope this helps!

  • Hi Anonymous!
    You know, usually when someone says “I struggle with body image/low self esteem”, everyone will say “No! You’re beautiful!”
    To be honest, you probably are beautiful, but what if you weren’t? What if you’d had a bad accident and had scars or disfigurement? You can’t always get good grades. What if someday you completely fail. What about when you make a big mistake.

    The next step is to look at inner beauty. I’m sure you’re quite a nice person. I am too! But if you were to see me in my home getting annoyed, critical or discouraged, you would see the truth. Even worse, if you could see my thoughts and feelings, you’d know that I’m not really that nice. Inside, I’m full of darkness and sin. My mind is not beautiful. Although you’re probably nice, I know that you have sin too.

    So how can you feel valuable and confident? None of us have any reason in and of ourselves for confidence. We are not valuable. BUT something else makes us valuable. The God who created the entire world, the solar system, the Milky Way, the universe; the one who molded history, who puts kings in power and brings powers down: He sent His only Son, Jesus, to die, simply so you can be freed from this inner darkness, worship Him, and build a relationship with Him.

    We cannot place our value in external beauty, because it is fleeting and shallow. We can’t rely on inner beauty either, because everyone is sinful. But we can be confident because we have the love and care of the God of the universe.

    I hope that’s a little bit helpful!

  • I almost laughed when I saw this on here, because it applies to me so much. I came on here right after my brother pretty much accidentally told me I’m ugly, so a message on self esteem and insecurity would be pretty relevant right now.

    What Heather said was perfect. It doesn’t matter whether we live up to the world’s standards. What God cares about is living up to his standards. And when we fail at doing that, it’s okay, because Jesus already fought that battle for us. Jesus was perfect in every way, and when God looks at Christians, he doesn’t look at their flaws and imperfections, he looks at the perfection of Christ just as if we were perfect like that. The truth is, we are all sinners who have messed up and failed a lot. But through faith in Jesus, we become righteous like him.

    I understand that thinking about all that might not help when we’re worried about what other people think of us. Sure, God might see us as perfect, but what about the people around us whom we so desperately want to like us? Maybe other people won’t always like us. Maybe some people won’t be able to look past flaws and failures and see a beautiful person made in the image of God and adopted through Jesus as his precious child. But that’s ok. We just have to accept that and know that ultimately, no matter how hard it might be to see it now, God’s opinion is the only one that matters.

  • There are so many ways to fight it that everyone suggests. From pep talks to makeovers to mantras, the list is endless. But those things, in the end, turn out to be fruitless. Often leaving you more insecure than before. Our popularity will vacillate. Our external appearance will change. Our skills can be taken away in the blink of an eye. Our relationships can fizzle into nothingness.
    Our identity, found solely and beautifully in Christ will not be blown about by the winds of trials and uncertainty. It will not be swayed by the tides of relationships or appearance. It won’t be buried in the depths of the sea by unpopularity and talentless moments. It will never change because it is sealed with precious blood of Jesus Christ our savior and Lord. He saw us in our failures and insecurities but he never walked out. He never turned away.
    Beautiful sister, focus on who you are as a daughter of the One True King. ,the maker of heaven and earth. You are a chosen princess. Rest in him and let that be enough.

  • You have been created in the image of God. You are His child and He loves you more than anyone can ever comprehend.
    Life’s tough. Things happens, things change. That causes insecurity and some anxiousness for me watching life change and happen around me, but one thing that has calmed me and helped me to find who I am is reading the Scriptures.
    The Scriptures are guidelines for us and we must remember that God can use us for anything as long as we let Him.
    All of the people that God used to become great leaders had problems and issues in their lives. Moses was slow of speech and he grew up in a broken, abusive family. Joseph of Egypt was hated by his brothers and sold into slavery. Christ, Himself, was hated and cast out!
    There are hundreds of examples in the Scriptures of ordinary people living their lives, just trying to get along with the challenges and obstacles of life, and God strengthened them and lifted them up and made them into great leaders.
    Remember that God loves you and that He doesn’t make mistakes.

  • I know how you feel, I struggle with this too. (it seems like everybody does, really.) I wrote psalm 139:14 on my mirror so that whenever I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see, I’ll be reminded that I should praise God because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

    I’m sure there are other verses but this one is just my favorite to think about when I feel insecure about myself. And I remind myself that Jesus died for me. This makes me valuable. God cares so much for me and he listens to my prayers… And it’s really amazing how much he loves us!(: no matter what others think of us, to Jesus we are so valuable that he chose death so that we could live with him forever in heaven one day.

  • Okay anonymous, here’s what you do:

    1.) Scroll down to Heather C’s comment.
    2.) Read it like 56 times until you get it into your heart that that’s who you are, nothing less. (If you’re saved)
    3.) Believe it. That’s the gospel.
    4.) Then feel free to read all this other stuff, and use it.

  • I deal with insecurity too, and for me it helps to just remember that God loves me. The creator of the entire universe cared about me and thought i was worth sending his child to die so i could join him. He calls me (and you!) beautiful, he calls you child. Everyone screws up. Nobody will ever fit our ever changing definition of “perfection”, so dont listen to that. Instead listen to God’s never changing promises and what he says about you. If people say you dont measure up, pray for them, because ultimately they are as insecure as you. God loves you and made you the way you are. Every part of you was beautifully and wonderfully made, so please dont forget it.

  • First of all remind yourself that insecurity is solely a web of lies. The only way I ever got through life especially during school was absorbing myself in Christ. Whether that meant listening to worship music or reading a really encouraging book. What also helps is finding people that are strong in their relationship with God and see how they live their lives and combat the threats from the enemy. Remember this, GOD IS YOUR REFUGE. He should be where you go when you are happy AND sad, when you are in the desert AND when you are not. Completely absorb yourself in Him and you might just realize that you will start to see the world and your insecurities a little differently. Don’t worry my friend, it all gets better and then worse and then better. It is all on your mind set. Yours should be on God.

  • I think what you could do is first off not try to “fit in”. Everyone tells me I am weird and should try fitting in with everyone else. But in youth group i am reading a book that says that there is no average teen, that everyone can be themselves. It doesn’t matter what other people think of you just what you think of yourself,hopefully you think highly of yourself. My youth director at the beginning of the year told us to look in the mirror and say,”God made me and I am good.” Everyone should know that God created them to be perfect in their own ways and that nobody else’s opinion matters. I am in seventh grade right now, but in fourth grade i got bullied for reading and being a nerd. My family didn’t have a lot of money so i got a lot of my clothes from yard sales. So along with being made fun of for being a nerd, I got made fun of because my clothes weren’t modern. But, I didn’t care what the haters said and I just told myself that it is ok, I am beautiful in my own kind of way. Others might not see it but I know God does. So, whatever you do don’t let anyone let you down and just be yourself.

rebelling against low expectations

The Rebelution is a teenage rebellion against low expectations—a worldwide campaign to reject apathy, embrace responsibility, and do hard things. Learn More →