It was one of those weeks.
Work was insane; three family friends passed away, twelve stressful sagas occurred between Monday and Friday of my typical week, I felt like a chicken with my head cut off, and as my anxiety, depression, overthinking, PMS, and IBS began to cycle, I felt as if I had lost all control.
I wrote this in my journal:
Suddenly, I feel as if I have forgotten how to let go and let God. Because of these mountains, I once knew how to live in the freedom of uncertainty. Live in the freedom of the unknown, the freedom of letting you have control. But now, suddenly, I don’t know how. I fear not being able to control a single thing in my life. I fear these changes of life that keep picking up speed no matter how hard I try to slow down the speedometer. I wish I could remember how to live in the certainty of an uncertain life, praising, and serving an ever-certain God.
Writing that, I realized I had been spending way too much time grasping for power when, in reality, I needed to submit it to the one who holds all authority.
After all, we all face mountains, don’t we?
Suicidal thoughts? Check.
Lust, Pride, Porn, and Sexual Temptation? Check.
Idolatry, Jealousy, Bitterness, Anger, and Envy? Check.
You can fill in the blank, but all of us have mountains of hurt.
Mountains Loom Bigger When We Look only At Them
In a variety of shapes, sizes, widths, and depths, they come to haunt us like ghosts in the night. Echoes that won’t leave us alone when all we long for is rest, peace, hope, and a moment without their existence.
But you see, my friend, we can’t expect them to dissipate when we keep running straight back to them. We can’t expect them to disappear when they’re on our minds 24/7, consuming our worried mentality and grasping for all control. We shouldn’t assume that the battles we’re fighting, and the heights we’re scaling, will fall at the mention of our own strength.
Yet you know what we can expect? That when we run to the Father, releasing every ounce of our control to him, his strength can make those mountains move or fall. Just speaking his name makes the demons shudder, as the wind and waves obey his name. His Word, given to us through the Holy Spirit and Scriptures, can bring us the peace we so desperately long. And above all, we can trust that he’s in control of our mountains, even when we keep running back to them, knowing we shouldn’t.
Exodus 14:14 states, “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” But how can we be ‘still’ if we are continually running to our mountains instead of to our God? We can’t.
Run To Our Strong Tower
This week, take the time to run. And though I love physically running and exercise, I don’t mean running with your feet, but running in your heart.
Not to your mountains.
Not to your anxiety.
Not to your stress, work, depression, or pride.
But running to the peace of Christ, who will calm your hills and valleys, no matter the strength of heights you are trying to glide down on your own.
Because on your own? You can’t do anything. You’ll keep running a race you’ll never win. But with Christ? He’s got this. He tells the mountains to jump, and they jump. And there is nothing saying he can’t do that for yours.
What ‘mountain’ are you facing today that you need to hand over to God? I’d love to hear from you and pray over your needs.
It’s a daily practice, but it’s one I’m willing to pursue, even when I’m running. Are you?