rebelling against low expectations
I’ve felt the suffocating grasp of anxiety.I understand the unexplainable panic that pounces unannounced, the heart that refuses to stop racing, the sensation of stabbing pain in my stomach that doesn’t make any sense. From the time I was an elementary schooler in orchestra practice, I would run to the bathroom to soak my flushed face in cold water; each week I’d dread going and come back...
In my youth group, deep friendships abound and a genial attitude is the standard. But sometimes, in the midst of a large conversations, I start to drift off by myself. Whether I was actually left out or I said the wrong thing or for any kind of self-perceived rejection, I feel like I’m not as good as everyone else. I’m not as special as them. I’m not as wanted or needed or valuable. And that’s...
I hate it when I mess up. If you’ve ever had a mosquito hover in your face, you’ve probably faced the question, “Why would God make such an annoying, stupid creature?” My mistakes, also annoying and stupid, leave me with similar thoughts: “God, why did you let me say something so stupid?” or, “Why did I have to act like that?” I may never know the purpose of a mosquito, but after much experience...
There are some people who are undeniably brave. Missionaries traveling to a strange country, dedicating their lives to minister to unreached people. Translators spending years to learn a foreign language and bring the Word to hungry souls. Martyrs dying for their unashamed confession that Jesus is Lord. And then there are people like me. People who don’t have anything impressive to show. People...
Today, I saw The Greatest Showman. For weeks, I’ve been bombarded by the barrage of trailers and posts about it. Then I stumbled upon the soundtrack. Suddenly I found myself swept away into its world. I didn’t even know the story, but the music was so powerful and I just had to see it.After a few days, I realized I had a problem. My interest had turned to obsession as the music played in my head...
Trees are tossed out on the curb. Stockings are taken down from the mantel. Red and green decorations disappear one by one until all that is left is the brown grass and bare branches stretching out to a gray horizon. Christmas has come and gone, and with it, the joy of many dissipates into the cool winter air. As Christians, we’re not supposed to let that happen. We’re supposed to have joy all...
Just love yourself. The empty anthem rings across my generation promising peace, fulfillment, and joy. Culture embraces it, as many of my fellow Christians do. But I wouldn’t touch it with my pinky finger while wearing a hazmat suit. Why? If we do a couple inches of digging, we’ll find that this self-glorifying, self-focused philosophy doesn’t have Biblical roots. In fact, I believe the message...
There I sat in a cramped hotel room with my family, sobbing uncontrollably for what felt like an hour. The flood of emotion came tumbling down on me unannounced. I was humiliated, having hardly ever cried in front of anyone before. But considering the circumstances, I should have been more prepared. Earlier that afternoon, we arrived after a seven-hour trip through mountains and cornfields...
I am a subtle sinner. I’ve never murdered or committed a crime of any type, never participated in sexual sin, never made a habit of lying, or cheating, or stealing. I won the prizes in Sunday school, didn’t talk back to my parents, and tried to get along with my siblings. Like so many who were raised in a Christian home, I’ve lived my life as a typical example of the “good Christian kid”. Now, as...
I have a fear. Maybe you have the same one. Perhaps it’s caused by pride or the pressure put on us to be the best we can be. Regardless, it follows us around wherever we go, whatever we’re doing. You would think it would push us forward, but like a wasp paralyzes its tarantula prey before dragging it underneath the sand, this fear paralyzes us and drags us down into depression, discouragement...
rebelling against low expectations
