rebelling against low expectations
Three weeks ago, my family switched churches. Again. Going from a five hundred people church back down to a fifty people church is…different.It’s taken me three years to start unearthing the secrets of acceptance at my last church. Now, even though I’m still going to youth group on Wednesdays, all that hard work is starting to seem pointless. It’s as if another inch of sand washes out from under...
How are you? I’m not asking how you want to be, how you think you should be, or how others assume you are.In the depth of your heart, are you really okay? Underneath the formalities and the small talk, are you really fine?What would you say if words were more than a formality–if you were to honestly answer the question?I think a lot of us, the majority of us, are not okay, not fine, and not...
Excuse the generalization, but homeschooled kids like myself can have have really strong imaginations about the scary world of “school.”As we watch the Christian movies and hear the warnings of our Sunday school teachers, our minds get stuffed with ideas of all the persecution we could face.Well, after just three weeks as a dual-enrollment student at my local community college, I can tell you...
It was the last day of my high school biology class: Presentation day.For two hours straight, my classmates told me how the soaps I’m washing my hands with are exposing our bodies to antibiotics, allowing bacteria to become immune to the them so that when someone truly needs an antibiotic to fight an infection, the antibiotic will be useless. They warned me the food I’m eating is genetically...
I felt so small. Sitting in the Starbucks at a hospital, I watched white-coated doctors, blue-scrubbed nurses and busy-looking people come and go. So many people flooding so small a section of the massive building. Each one so confident, knowing what to do and where to go. And me? I just sat there feeling the inadequacy of my 5’0” self. Drowning in a sea of people, in a world too big for me...
There are some people who just seem impossible to love. Maybe it’s the bully at your school who puts others down to make themselves feel better. The brother who can only focus on himself, never recognizing the needs of others. The girl on Instagram who posts notes of self-hatred and threats of self-harm. The reality is, these people are hurting. They may not always understand what’s wrong with...
I’ve felt the suffocating grasp of anxiety.I understand the unexplainable panic that pounces unannounced, the heart that refuses to stop racing, the sensation of stabbing pain in my stomach that doesn’t make any sense. From the time I was an elementary schooler in orchestra practice, I would run to the bathroom to soak my flushed face in cold water; each week I’d dread going and come back...
In my youth group, deep friendships abound and a genial attitude is the standard. But sometimes, in the midst of a large conversations, I start to drift off by myself. Whether I was actually left out or I said the wrong thing or for any kind of self-perceived rejection, I feel like I’m not as good as everyone else. I’m not as special as them. I’m not as wanted or needed or valuable. And that’s...
I hate it when I mess up. If you’ve ever had a mosquito hover in your face, you’ve probably faced the question, “Why would God make such an annoying, stupid creature?” My mistakes, also annoying and stupid, leave me with similar thoughts: “God, why did you let me say something so stupid?” or, “Why did I have to act like that?” I may never know the purpose of a mosquito, but after much experience...
There are some people who are undeniably brave. Missionaries traveling to a strange country, dedicating their lives to minister to unreached people. Translators spending years to learn a foreign language and bring the Word to hungry souls. Martyrs dying for their unashamed confession that Jesus is Lord. And then there are people like me. People who don’t have anything impressive to show. People...
rebelling against low expectations
