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When I hear the word “friends,” I usually feel pangs of hurt inside of me. Many a day I have wept painful and sometimes bitter tears in response to these hurts. I have often felt excluded, rejected, and lonely. I have been excluded because some of my friends already had their own friends, and even when I tried so hard to be there for them, I was rejected. I just wanted to have friends...
I’ve felt so strongly that there’s something moving in me that needs to be paired with words, and I have not for the life of me been able to figure it out. And maybe that resonates with you; The uncertainty in waiting for answers, the discomfort not having clarity brings, the frustration that comes with floating in the mind’s abyss waiting for traction. We wrestle deeply with the reality that...
Have you ever thought about how often God asks us to do something . . . without providing the means to complete it beforehand? Recently, at church, one of the deacons brought my attention to the many times God set his subjects to a task without giving them the means to complete it beforehand. Usually when God asks something, he sends his help while we’re working. In other words, he provides...
Recently I found a paper entitled “My Fear of Failure,” that I had written for an introductory writing course three years ago. I almost cried as I re-read it, because of how dismal my outlook was back then. At one point I had written the following: “If I could push aside this fear of failure, I’d be nearly limitless. I have dreams of going on adventures that I could never do now because my fear...
When I was in middle school and high school, people started to notice I didn’t look quite like everyone else. I was very skinny and all of the sudden I started earning new nicknames: Twig, Chicken Legs, Little Liz. Kids started asking questions and making comments: Are you eating? Look how skinny your arms are! You’re so skinny, if you turned sideways you’d disappear! Do you have an eating...
Several years ago I got sick. The thing about this sickness was that I didn’t get better. Days dragged into weeks and weeks dragged into months until the months turned into years. Still there was no sure end in sight. Some days are harder than others. My illness plays games with my brain and I start to forget things and feel like the world is closing in on me. I get confused and it is hard for me...
Lately, my evening reading has been a linguistics textbook. I’m sure you’ve already figured this out: I’m taking summer classes, getting some extra credits so I can keep up my GPA and maybe graduate early. Except, I’m not. Words are fascinating to me: the way they work, how you can string them together to form sentences and create meaning, and especially how they relate to certain branches of...
Some of the most awkward seasons during a Christians life are seasons of doubt. How do you respond to the Good News of Jesus Christ if you’re doubting Jesus himself? How do you cast your burden of doubt onto the shoulders of the One you are doubting? Spoken Word artist Joseph Solomon recently preached a sermon about this very thing. The whole sermon is only about twenty-five minutes long...
Joseph’s Hardships He sits alone in a prison cell. He was supposed to be freed months ago. But apparently he had been forgotten. Again. Actually, he shouldn’t have been in prison to begin with. But lies and rumors had landed him behind bars. Before this, he had worked so faithfully for his master, doing whatever he asked, going above and beyond. And yet, here he was. Actually, he shouldn’t...
Do you ever feel unfulfilled? Thirsting for something more? Seeking satisfaction in material things? I do. We often find ourselves looking for satisfaction in places that won’t hold our attention forever. In social media, our friends, family, co-workers, food, traveling, “new things.” Eventually, each of these things, though pleasurable, will fail us, and we will be looking — once again — for...
rebelling against low expectations
