rebelling against low expectations
He was tired, burnt out, and needed a good meal. I couldn’t give him a hug. He was graduating! I couldn’t cheer or take pictures or bring him a gift. It was his birthday. I couldn’t make him a cake or throw him a party. And so instead, I stared at a circle, leg bouncing, waiting for the call to reconnect. Wishing I could be there for him. Wishing I could take care of him. Wishing I could do...
Editor’s Note: We’re thrilled to welcome Gary Thomas to the Reb today! His book The Sacred Search is an excellent resource for Christ-centered relationships and choosing a spouse wisely. This article was originally published on February 13, 2020. When Tom Cruise—playing Jerry Maguire—uttered those now famous words, “You complete me,” he was married to his second wife, Nicole Kidman...
Have you ever thought about what would happen if relationships as we see them in today’s romance movies existed in the real world? Would they endure once the crisis subsided, the stage lights dimmed, and the characters settled into everyday life together? My guess is probably not. The emphasis of chemistry over compatibility-based relationships in modern media sets unrealistic standards for...
As a preteen girl, I wrote letters to my future husband. In those letters, I often wrote the words, “I am staying pure for you,” or, “I am keeping my purity to be a gift to you on our wedding day.” During my teenage years, I read a plethora of books on Christian dating that taught me to think through my purity this way. They motivated me to remain pure by promising that it would keep my wedding...
We live in a culture that is constantly talking about love, lust, sex, and romance. It’s hard to get away from, honestly. You can barely turn on the TV, walk around the mall, or glance at a billboard without being assaulted by it. Of course, the mere fact that culture is vocal about it is not the problem. It’s an important conversation to have, for sure. The Bible itself frequently talks about...
Do you have a list? You know, a list of the qualities you want in a future spouse. Some people have general lists that may or may not be written down. Others get a little more specific and put down preferred hair and eye color or even what musical instruments or sports they want their significant other to play. I once heard of a girl who had a list nine pages long, detailing everything from birth...
I am nineteen years old. I have never dated anyone or been in a serious relationship. Do I want to get married someday? Absolutely! Since I was a little girl, my dream has been to be a godly wife and a mommy to a house of little ones. However, during this time of my life, God has me absolutely single. Even though it is hard sometimes, God has been teaching me a lot about how He views...
In junior high and most of high school, I was the girl who never got asked out on a date, or even asked to dance at the school dances. As I read my Christian romance books, I longed for a guy like those characters to appear in my life and sweep me off my feet. Yet each day, I watched my friends and classmates receive the attention of the guys rather than me. It starts to wear on you. As much as...
When Peter and I started dating, it was crucial to us that God be at the center of our relationship. But . . . neither of us had done this before, and we had no idea what that actually looked like in action. We vaguely knew we wanted to read the Bible together, pray together, and learn together. We had both been praying for each other ever since we met. And Peter is great about taking every...
“We need to just make up a word.” I agreed. We both paused. I had no ideas. I vetoed “friends+”, but when he suggested “situationship” it seemed to fit. It doesn’t roll off my tongue well, but then again, where Peter and I are at is not something that fits neatly into a box. We aren’t ‘just friends’ anymore, and we decided it wouldn’t help to pretend that’s all we are. But we’re also...
rebelling against low expectations
