rebelling against low expectations
I’m Alycia, and I’m a recovering perfectionist. For years, I struggled to connect with people because perfectionism controlled my life. I was constantly working, stressed about the size of my to-do list and the fleeting hours of my day. Desperate for respite, I tried therapy, journaling, reading my Bible, taking long walks, anything I could think of. But they only provided temporary relief. I...
I am nineteen years old. I have never dated anyone or been in a serious relationship. Do I want to get married someday? Absolutely! Since I was a little girl, my dream has been to be a godly wife and a mommy to a house of little ones. However, during this time of my life, God has me absolutely single. Even though it is hard sometimes, God has been teaching me a lot about how He views...
In junior high and most of high school, I was the girl who never got asked out on a date, or even asked to dance at the school dances. As I read my Christian romance books, I longed for a guy like those characters to appear in my life and sweep me off my feet. Yet each day, I watched my friends and classmates receive the attention of the guys rather than me. It starts to wear on you. As much as...
I can still picture the cursive writing on the book. “Standing Alone,” it read. That appealed to me. I didn’t want a normal teenage life. I wanted something different. Something with meaning. Maybe you relate. Since different wasn’t the norm, of course that would mean standing alone. It sounded heroic. I opened it and started to learn about holiness. About being set apart for God. About being...
When Peter and I started dating, it was crucial to us that God be at the center of our relationship. But . . . neither of us had done this before, and we had no idea what that actually looked like in action. We vaguely knew we wanted to read the Bible together, pray together, and learn together. We had both been praying for each other ever since we met. And Peter is great about taking every...
As a preteen girl, I wrote letters to my future husband. In those letters, I often wrote the words, “I am staying pure for you,” or, “I am keeping my purity to be a gift to you on our wedding day.” During my teenage years, I read a plethora of books on Christian dating that taught me to think through my purity this way. They motivated me to remain pure by promising that it would keep my wedding...
We all want to be loved. But how do we find love that lasts and satisfies the ache in our hearts? Paula Hendricks Marsteller is very familiar with this longing and is the first to confess that she used to be more than a little “boy-crazy.” She even wrote a book about her experiences called “Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl.” But Paula found the answer as she went on a journey from neediness to...
“We should have a relationship that keeps Christ at the center.” I read his text, confused, but so giddy that he actually wanted a relationship that I decided to go along with it. “Definitely,” I said back. But I never stopped to ask what he meant by that. What does it mean to have Christ at the center of your relationship? What does that look like? Does a Christian relationship mean you don’t...
Why are dating relationships so hard to navigate? Maybe it’s texting a friend of the opposite gender and wondering if you like each other or if it will ever be more than just friends. Or you get home from that first date you’ve been waiting for, and it didn’t go as expected. Or you’re finally dating your crush and it isn’t going like you hoped. Or you’re in a relationship and you just can’t seem...
Recently, I embarked on a new sort of journey. One I had previously never known or experienced. I began my first committed relationship for the purpose of marriage. During that relationship, I experienced such a wide spectrum of emotions and grappled with my view of myself, God, and others. As I look back over that short journey, I cannot help but see several lessons the Lord taught me along the...
rebelling against low expectations
