rebelling against low expectations
Editor’s Note: We’re thrilled to welcome Gary Thomas to the Reb today! His book The Sacred Search is an excellent resource for Christ-centered relationships and choosing a spouse wisely. This article was originally published on February 13, 2020. When Tom Cruise—playing Jerry Maguire—uttered those now famous words, “You complete me,” he was married to his second wife, Nicole Kidman...
Have you ever thought about what would happen if relationships as we see them in today’s romance movies existed in the real world? Would they endure once the crisis subsided, the stage lights dimmed, and the characters settled into everyday life together? My guess is probably not. The emphasis of chemistry over compatibility-based relationships in modern media sets unrealistic standards for...
As a preteen girl, I wrote letters to my future husband. In those letters, I often wrote the words, “I am staying pure for you,” or, “I am keeping my purity to be a gift to you on our wedding day.” During my teenage years, I read a plethora of books on Christian dating that taught me to think through my purity this way. They motivated me to remain pure by promising that it would keep my wedding...
I can still remember the time when I lost a very close friend. I still remember the way it hurt and the way I cried into my pillow. I still remember the sadness I felt in my heart when I thought of this friendship. I can imagine you understand those feelings too. I imagine you also know what it’s like to “break up” with a close friend. While we always hear about boyfriend and girlfriend break...
We live in a culture that is constantly talking about love, lust, sex, and romance. It’s hard to get away from, honestly. You can barely turn on the TV, walk around the mall, or glance at a billboard without being assaulted by it. Of course, the mere fact that culture is vocal about it is not the problem. It’s an important conversation to have, for sure. The Bible itself frequently talks about...
Do you have a list? You know, a list of the qualities you want in a future spouse. Some people have general lists that may or may not be written down. Others get a little more specific and put down preferred hair and eye color or even what musical instruments or sports they want their significant other to play. I once heard of a girl who had a list nine pages long, detailing everything from birth...
Should I enter the mission field? Who should I marry? What career do I choose? The teenage years carry with them a world of daunting decisions. At times it can feel as if the rest of your life needs to be mapped out by senior year. You may frequently wonder “What is God’s will for my life?” and wish He’d reveal the answer on a flashing billboard. God’s will just...
I’m Alycia, and I’m a recovering perfectionist. For years, I struggled to connect with people because perfectionism controlled my life. I was constantly working, stressed about the size of my to-do list and the fleeting hours of my day. Desperate for respite, I tried therapy, journaling, reading my Bible, taking long walks, anything I could think of. But they only provided temporary relief. I...
I am nineteen years old. I have never dated anyone or been in a serious relationship. Do I want to get married someday? Absolutely! Since I was a little girl, my dream has been to be a godly wife and a mommy to a house of little ones. However, during this time of my life, God has me absolutely single. Even though it is hard sometimes, God has been teaching me a lot about how He views...
In junior high and most of high school, I was the girl who never got asked out on a date, or even asked to dance at the school dances. As I read my Christian romance books, I longed for a guy like those characters to appear in my life and sweep me off my feet. Yet each day, I watched my friends and classmates receive the attention of the guys rather than me. It starts to wear on you. As much as...
rebelling against low expectations
