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I asked God to break me. Little did I know then what the consequences of that prayer would be. I asked God to break me before Him. To create an environment where He was all that I had and He was all that I needed. I wanted to grow in huge ways in a short amount of time. I wanted to feel the presence of God like never before. Out of the blue, life took its toll and left me alone and hurting. Due...
Savior. What does this word bring to mind for you? Undoubtedly, for those professing to be Christians or those who grew up in the church, Jesus crossed your mind. For others, perhaps it was a significant role model—a parent or grandparent who brought you where you are today. Maybe it has even been a dream or hope for the future, not a person, that you consider to have rescued you from a...
It was a week before our end year concert. The orchestra director made a few announcements that I didn’t hear. I could only seem to listen to my heart beating, my blood rushing, my breath passing through my mouth. Eventually, she passed around the seating chart. It felt like the violins and violas were taking as long as possible to examine the chart. Then it reached the cellos. Time seemed to...
Standing nervously behind the table, I fidgeted with my blouse. Meanwhile, a student signed our poll: Yes, abortion should be legal. I was at a college campus with a pro-life group called Justice for All. We were talking with students about abortion. Our goal was to create conversation and help them to think through the issue. As I stood there, I knew that I should talk with the girl who, by now...
Depression. It’s something we’ve all experienced. We’re weak. Yet we do everything in our feeble strength to convince others we’re strong. People ask us how we’re doing and we say we’re good. Even when we’re not. Why? We’re broken. There’s no changing it. From the moment Adam and Eve first sinned, humanity has been broken. On this side of heaven we’ll always be broken. If you’re reading this...
Sometimes I don’t feel like going to school or getting up early. Sometimes I don’t feel like helping with chores or doing homework. I do these things regardless, but rarely because I feel like it. So you can imagine the debate that goes on in my head when I try to do hard things. The feeling argument goes something like this: “Why go out of your way when you are comfy where you are?” “Anything...
I’m a happy ending kind of person. My favorite stories end with everyone cheering, quite possibly a dance number, and every bit of the plot tied up in a pretty little bow. Everything turns out right, everyone gets what they wanted (except the villain, of course), and everyone is completely happy. We defeat the evil, all the colors turn brighter, and the boy and girl protagonists smile as they...
“Where shall the world be found, where will the word resound? Not here, there is not enough silence.” — T.S. Eliot Shortly after my son was born, we began putting him down for bed at night with a Kindle app that produces white noise. Mixes can be customized to include sounds of rain, thunder, lightning, and the ocean, but the final effect is uninterrupted hissing that can be likened...
The night of the last presidential election, I made a poor decision. I looked at Twitter. My feed was full of tweets and retweets rejoicing, mourning, celebrating, or decrying the situation as it unfolded, minute by minute. Praise and blame was heaped on both of the major candidates—and on their supporters. My birthday came just a year too late for me to vote in the presidential election. As I...
I was lying on my bed one night when the phone rang. A moment later my mom walked up the stairs and the first words out of her mouth were, “We need to pray.” She told us that one of my best friends was severely depressed and had left the house saying he wanted to kill himself. As I lay there praying silently, I asked, God…please save him. Lord, I don’t want to live without my best friend. Please...
rebelling against low expectations
