It’s not easy—none of it.
It is not easy when your family adopts a child who has a damaged brain.
It is not easy when you are 13 and your brother is rushed 3 hours away to a hospital and your parents are gone for 12 days, leaving you with responsibilities that are incredibly difficult for a thirteen-year-old to handle.
It is not easy when a church rises up against your family―the pastor’s family—and forces you from your comfortable life and into an eight-month period of unemployment and moving around.
Life is not easy.
You have your problems as well—chronic illness, eating disorders, addictions, broken homes, suicidal thoughts, never-ending depression, etc. No one is exempt from suffering/trials. The main—and only—question is this: “What will be your reaction to these trials?”
Suffering essentially produces one of two results in us: bitterness or maturity. How we react to trials determines the outcome of our suffering. If we simply endure these trials or begrudge them, we miss a valuable opportunity for spiritual growth. We all do this in varying ways, but we must strive to remember that suffering plays a vital part in our progression of maturity.
Joy in the midst of suffering is a sign of real maturity.
This is what I’m going for.
Suffering is an amazing opportunity to grow in maturity, and I want to utilize that and grow.
As Chip Ingram put it,
“Your Circumstances + Your Perspective = Your Experience”
If you notice, the only factor that we can change in this equation is our perspective (which, in turn, changes our experience). But why change our perspective?
Aren’t pain and suffering pretty cut-and-dried; they’re just awful, right?
Well, I think it is time that our perspective on suffering shifts drastically so that we can learn how to benefit from trials. The following three things will hopefully help change your perspective on suffering as they have changed mine.
1. Suffering is never pointless.
There is a plan and a purpose for every trial that you go through. It is never just meaningless pain, although it may feel that way sometimes. We must view hardships as opportunities for spiritual growth. Two years ago was one of the hardest times of my life. Each day brought further uncertainty and fear.
I could have responded in bitterness, which is what I wanted to do at times, but through that trial I learned to trust in God even through the most uncertain of times. That sounds so cliché, but it became so true to me. Psalm 63:8a became my cry, “My soul clings to you.”
2. Through God-given strength we can determine the outcome of our hardships.
You will mess up. You won’t always react correctly to trials.
Pray for strength to not only endure suffering, but also to find JOY in it. Nobody likes having to learn things the hard way, but things learned through bad circumstances tend to be the things that stick with us the most. Pray for strength to view trials in the right way.
3. Learning from suffering does not mean absence of trials, it means having a proper understanding and perspective on hardships.
If you learn a lesson once, it does not mean that God won’t teach it to you again. God knows that we are human and that we so easily forget. No matter how much we read what Scripture has to say about suffering, no matter how much we read from different writers about suffering, we still may react the wrong way to trials.
Stay humble and teachable; look to God when in the valley.
The last thing that I want to mention is joy.
We who experience trials should strive toward becoming “joy experts.” Joy does not mean that you must have a smile on your face 24/7; it means that you are thankful for what God has given you and you trust Him to use this trial to strengthen you.
Imagine having joy in the darkest valley! Joy is an outward manifestation and rich understanding of Christ’s unending love for us. The psalmists experienced terrible tribulation, but again and again they praise the name of God—they choose joy! That is my challenge to you today.
My little brother has a condition called FASD, which means that his brain cannot function at the level that the brain of a child his age should function. He gets angry easily, needs constant redirection, and cannot “act his age”. This makes life extremely hard, but it has helped to teach me one of the most important lessons that I’ve ever learned—how to dance in the rain.
“All suffering is intended to train us to fix our eyes on the true God.” – Edward T. Welch
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What a great reminder, Christian. Thanks so much for sharing this. I have had so many trials add heartaches but haven’t yet learned to have joy in Christ. It’s definitely something I need to work on.
Ashley, I’ll be praying for you as you work on this. You won’t be perfect, but pursuing growth and turning trials into triumphs is a sure-fire way to get better 🙂
Thank you so much Christian. You don’t know how much this means to me!
Beautiful article, Christian! Thanks so much for writing!
Thank YOU for reading it!
Thank you for this much needed reminder Christian! Great article (:
It was my pleasure 🙂 Thank you for the encouragement, and I am glad you were blessed by it.
Thanks for writing, Christian! I can relate to this in so many ways. Adopted siblings with mental problems, yep, I know what that feels like. Perspective really is so important in the midst of suffering. Knowing that God is in control and put those trials in your life for a reason can be really comforting sometimes.
You’re welcome, Olivia–I’ll be praying for you as you continue learning how to dance in the rain.
Thanks for writing, Christian! It’s so true, in trials we can become “bitter or better.”
That’s a great way to remember it, Heather!! I’m glad this article was able to bless you!
I heard it when I visited Corrie Ten Boom’s house in Amsterdam. I’m not sure if it’s something Corrie used to say, or just something the lady running the tour observed. 😉
Thank you so much for writing this fantastic, truth saturated article, Christian. I can relate to much of your story and I really needed to read this.
It was a joy to write this article and though I am sad that you can relate to much of my story, I pray this was an encouragement in the Lord. 🙂
Great job Christian and others going through the same sorts of trials. Indeed, my view is if life is not easy, we are not trying hard enough to serve our Lord! Our time here is so finite — we need to push ourselves hard to make the most of it; not out of duty, but rather out of love for God. And through these trials, our joy can be a testimony for others to see.
Thank you! Trials are a great opportunity for us to grow spiritually 🙂
Thank you for this article. Lately, I’ve been struggling because of school. I just kept on failing. I lost my joy. I kept on blaming other people. But I thank God because he reminded me that I can still be joyful even though I am struggling. I trust God that everything is under control. I am so thankful to have a God who is not just a god but also a loving and good Father. I will never give up because God is with me.
I’m so glad it has blessed you, Karlo! God has got this–the question is will we let Him take the wheel or continue fighting for “control”, which we will never have? Praying for you as you struggle through these things!
This is amazing, Christian. Recently, my friend recommended this to me as I was suffering and in all of my anger and depression i thought that this was a post that was supposed to somehow be a rude message to me to “man up” and deal with it. Reading it now, I know that I was totally wrong about this post. Thank you so much for writing it. I needed this today.
Clare, I am so thankful that God brought this message along at just the right time. I am praying for you as you wrestle with anger and depression. I know it is not fun or pleasant, but I also know that God will be your strength through this time if you let him. Keep on dancing in the rain 🙂
Thank you for this post. I am definitely in the fire right now. Your references to singing in the rain (A great analogy, by the way), reminded me of the song ‘Sing in the Rain’ by Moriah Peters. I also like the picture that I’m not just dancing in the rain, but I am dancing with God in the rain. He is my dance partner, guiding my steps and holding my hand.
I was also reminded of Psalm 77, where the writer is completely hopeless and at their end, but then who turns to remember God’s faithfulness in the past and hopes in His promises for the future.
To everyone I suggest listening to this sermon by Brett Harris: http://www.dohardthings.com/downloads/trusting_god_brett_harris.mp3. I half laughed, half cried my way through it. 🙂
Sara, I am so glad to hear that this post encouraged you and am also glad that you brought up those two passages, because they do relate to this topic so much. Praying that the Lord will strengthen and uphold you!
I’ll be praying for you too!