rebelling against low expectations

Three Teens Define “A Real Woman”


Written by Philip Hainline, Heidi Reimer, and Maria Reimer at the respective ages of 16, 19, and 17.

A real woman . . .

…is glad she’s a woman and rejoices in her femininity, expressing it through her attitude, appearance and bearing (1 Timothy 2:9-10).

…does not compete for equality with men or chafe at God’s design for male and female, but delights in and understands the importance of her calling to complement man’s role (1 Timothy 2:11-12, Ephesians 5:22-24).

…values the cultivation of her mind and diligently seeks after wisdom and knowledge (Proverbs 22:17-21, 2:2-6).

…realizes her imperative need to allow the Holy Spirit to control her emotions and expressions of them (James 1:19-20).

…does not wallow in self-pity or make a habit of voicing complaints but radiates cheerfulness and joy (Proverbs 15:15, Proverbs 17:22).

A real woman . . .

…appreciates her father’s protection, and respects and submits to his authority. In so doing, she is preparing herself to exercise the Biblical role in her relationship with a possible future husband (Ephesians 5:33-6:3, 1 Peter 3:1-2).

…is trustworthy and gains the respect of those around her (Proverbs 31:11).

…restrains herself from listening to, or participating in gossip, but instead speaks with wisdom and discretion (Proverbs 11:12-13, 22, 20:19, 3:11).

…encourages and builds up those around her instead of criticizing and tearing them down (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Ephesians 4:29).

…does not have a nagging, contentious or manipulative manner in which she deals with others (Judges 16:16, Proverbs 21:9, 19, 26:21).

…is not boisterous or loud in her speech or actions but is characterized by a gentle and quiet spirit (Proverbs 9:13, 1 Peter 3:4).

A real woman . . .

…portrays chastity, modesty and reverence in her manner, and wears the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is her true beauty (1 Peter 3:3-4, Titus 2:4-5).

…is not offended by respect shown her through gentlemanly courtesies (opening doors, etc.) but cultivates the differences between the sexes that make her worthy of this deference (1 Peter 3:7, Mark 10:6).

…seeks to make God her number one desire and the Lover of her soul, knowing that only He can fully satisfy (Psalm 73:25, Psalm 63:1).

…uses her years of singleness to seek and serve God without distraction, and is content to leave the details of her future to Him (Psalm 73:25, Philippians 4:11).

A real woman . . .

…does not relate to members of the opposite sex in a flirtatious or forward manner, but instead saves all her passion for her future husband (Thessalonians 4:3-8, Proverbs 6:25, 1 Corinthians 7:1).

…holds her virginity before marriage sacred and will not compromise it for anything. (This one goes for guys too) (1 Timothy 5:22).

“A Real Woman” in PDF Format for download and print out.

Comment section is open to guys and gals on any issues pertaining to what makes a woman. Disagree with something? Tell us what and why.

Photo courtesy of Jan Karlo Camero and Flickr Creative Commons.


About the author

Alex and Brett Harris

are the co-founders of and co-authors of Do Hard Things and Start Here. They have a passion for God and for their generation. Their personal interests include politics, filmmaking, music, and basketball. They are both graduates of Patrick Henry College in Purcellville, Virginia.

rebelling against low expectations

The Rebelution is a teenage rebellion against low expectations—a worldwide campaign to reject apathy, embrace responsibility, and do hard things. Learn More →