rebelling against low expectations

How do you deal with stress?


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  • Hey, first comment! (unless it’s just not showing me the others)
    Well, First of all, pray. Leave it up to God, because he will take care of it. But practically, I find that a warm shower is a good way to destress.

    • In addition to what Olivia W. has said, don’t feed your stress: it can only complicate things. Pray, back down, and let God take center stage. I don’t know what your tendencies are when it comes to reacting to stress, but I do know that most people do the wrong one. Don’t wallow in self-pity or yank your hair out trying to calm down. Reading a funny book or watching a light movie is a good way to get your mind off of whatever’s stressing you.

      Warm showers are delicious anyway! πŸ™‚

  • Well honestly, how people deal with stress is different from person to person.
    -For me, music is my big destressor (is that a word?). Music is my happy place and my favorite way to connect with God. So playing “Lord I Need You” loudly through my headphones and blocking out all other thoughts and sounds is helpful for me.
    -I also find that (if possible) getting away from what’s stressing me helps a lot! So let’s just say my house is a complete wreck and it’s stressing me out. Yeah, I need to clean the house, but in the moment I need to just go and take a walk until I have time to relax and not let it stress me anymore. Be Allyson from Mom’s Night Out: hide in your closet with chocolate and an eagle video if you have to. And if that doesnt’ work; get your friends and go on a night out to destress!! Just step away! =)
    -Like @amessageforthemessenger:disqus said, don’t feed the stress!! That kind of goes along with stepping away…if actually cleaning the house in the moment is going to feed your stress (becuase you’re discovering numerous daunting messes) then don’t clean it right now!! See?

    Olivia and Private Ryan already mentioned the key: prayer! And they also had other good advice as well. =)

        • Me or Kyle?? If you’re referring to me, I play guitar and piano and a little bit of mandolin…If you’re referring to Kyle, I know he plays piano (see above comments) I have no idea beyond that…haha…Kyle?

          • Both, it just happened to be more convenient for me to reply to Kyle’s comment. πŸ™‚ Mandolin…that’s similar to mandarin orange…but I honestly don’t know what a mandolin is. Ha ha, I figured he played something, but I wasn’t sure if it was listening to music or playing it that he referred to. I played the trumpet for a year, and am trying inactively to get back into it. πŸ™‚

          • haha!! Okie doke. ;D And a mandolin is a bluegrass instrument (generally). Here’s a pic of one…But I’m not very good at it yet. ;D Oh!! Trumpet is so cool!! =D They have such a pretty/jazzy sound!!! ^_^ XD

          • Wow! it looks like a very fancy guitar was stung by a wasp at the bottom. πŸ™‚ Very nice, though. Is it similar to a guitar?
            Trumpets are pretty cool. πŸ™‚ It’s fun to play the Star Wars theme on it. Although by now I’ve probably forgotten how…a lot of G’s, A’s, and B flats. πŸ™‚

          • HAHAHA!!! That just made me laugh WAY too hard… =P =P
            Ohhhh!! THat would be SO FUN to hear!!! And Bflats are hard chords.. =P At least on the 3 instruments I know. =P =P

          • Ha ha! I tried to do the Darth Vader song, but that didn’t work out too well… πŸ˜€ Well, being that there are only three valves on a trumpet, there aren’t very many hard *notes*, but the more flats or sharps in my opinion are harder…especially with accidentals thrown in there. πŸ™‚
            So are you actively learning the mandolin, teaching yourself when you feel like it, or tried it and didn’t want to keep going….? I don’t want to list all the possible options; I don’t know I’d live that long. πŸ™‚

          • haha!! And I know what you mean…lol! I find flats WAY harder than sharps for some reason… =P HAHA; and mandolin: I’m self-taught. I started learning it and then I moved to Zambia and wasn’t able ot bring my mandolin with me to continue learning. =P But I own a mandolin in the US so if I move back I’ll have it there waiting for me. And if I don’t move back for a while I’ll probably bring it back with me when we go back to visit. =)

          • On the mandolin? Oh, cool. Wow, Zambia! What are you doing over there? (I say over there; I’m in the US, so that technically is “over there”). That’s too bad you couldn’t bring it with you, but at least you’ve still got it in the US. Where did you used to live in the US? We moved to Pennsylvania last year, and while it was hard to leave God’s Country (aka Texas πŸ˜€ ), I’m looking forward to a snowstorm tomorrow. πŸ™‚

          • I just find flats harder period on any instrumet I play. =P haha…
            My family and I moved here almost a year ago as missionaries (but then again, we’re all missionaries wherever we are. ;D) to work with a ministry that reaches out to orphans and widows in the poorest of villages to provide and empower them with christian-based education. That’s a VERY basic summary!!’s a lot more intricate and complex than just that though. LOL…
            I’m from southern Missouri. I actually lived in Dallas for a year…but I was so little I only have vague memories. I’ve been back to TX 2 times in more recent years though. ;D I’ve never been to PA. I’ve ALWAYS wanted to… mainly becuase I am completely intrigued by and admire the Amish and there are many communities there…lol!

          • I find the sharps harder on the trumpet! πŸ™‚ Wow, that’s neat! I figured it was related to mission work…Americans don’t typically move to Zambia just for fun. πŸ˜€ That’s true, we all are. Have you read “Will our Generation Speak” by Grace Mally?
            Missouri, that’s not too far from Texas! Were you born in Texas? We actually have some friends near Dallas…does Rockwall mean anything to you? (That’s where the tornadoes were recently; not sure if you heard about those)
            Yeah, the Amish are….interesting. Very legalistic, but still neat to see their buggies rattling down the highway. You can always tell where they go because there are white lines going down the shoulder and middle of a lane where their wheels are. That, and the horse droppings in the middle of the road. πŸ˜›

          • I haven’t read her book!! I know who she is though…I’ll have to look into that!!!
            I was actually born in Mississippi. =D And yes, I’ve heard of Rockwall; but I don’t know exactly where it is…is it a suburb of Dallas??
            HAHA! That’s so funny!! XD i definitely disagree with a lot of their belief systems, but there’s a lot to admire about them too…i’ve read a TON of Beverly Lewis books and have learned a lot that I like and dislike about them. But I still think it would be AWESOME to live with them for like a month or something just to get a taste of their lifestyle. lol!

          • Oh, yeah! It’s a great book, very motivational. Oh, neat! We drove through Mississippi to get to PA.
            Yes, Rockwall is separated from Dallas by Garland and Plano.
            Absolutely! The Amish are amazing, and I admire their dedication to their beliefs, although they do make some weird exceptions (like being able to use a phone for business but not for anything else, being able to ride in a vehicle but not drive one, and being able to use a motorized tractor and drive it (different from driving a car?), as long as they don’t have rubber tires, only the metal rims, etc.) Sorry, I don’t know who Beverly Lewis is…I’ve heard the name before, but I don’t know who it is. Yeah, that would be neat! Not in the winter, though; I don’t want to be stuck in there while the two feet of snow we got today is piled on top. πŸ˜€

          • Yeah, I agree they do have some weird exceptions. =P =P And Beverly Lewis is an author. She lives either in or near Lancaster County and knows a lot about the Amish. She writes novels about the Amish with fictional characters but staying true to their beliefs and stuff. =)

          • Yeah, but the Amish are still pretty cool. πŸ˜› It’s weird to see them at Wal-Mart, but their stores have amazingly low prices! πŸ™‚
            Oh, that’s what I thought. Oh, neat! I know where Lancaster County is.

  • Shower, go crash on the couch and listen to really loud music(something like Josh Groban’s “You Raise Me Up usually helps) while I knit all my stress out. It’s fantastic. Spending a day just hanging out with friends relaxing is wonderful too. Journaling(where I basically write out my thoughts to God) when I don’t have time to crash and knit for two hours.

  • I have a hard time dealing with this, but what I like to do is listen to my favorite music, talk to someone about it, talk to God, and write out all my feelings in a journal.
    I hope that helps.

  • First of all, it’s important to run to God with your busyness and stress.
    But, other ways that help for me is: music (music, and more music :D), working out and running, fishing, and getting alone somewhere that I can think. Running is probably one of the best ones for me personally.

  • It really helps me when I play the piano as loud and as fast as I possibly can. A lively toccata or a mazurka perhaps. Or some classy Joplin rag. πŸ˜‰

  • Playing piano is one of my very favorite stress “therapies” πŸ˜‰ I also like to write, or listen to music. Worship/Christian music and a quiet atmosphere is a great stress reliever. πŸ™‚

      • I didn’t know you played either! πŸ™‚ I’ve been playing for a little over 6 years. So I started when I was around 7. πŸ™‚

          • Um, I play some classical, some hymns, but my fav to do it chord with contemporary Christian songs πŸ™‚

          • I don’t play as much as I used to, but mostly it’s hymns with some soundtracks and songs mixed in. I just finished a 7-page arrangement of “Viva la vida” that is amazing, as well as an arrangement of the soundtrack to Chariots of fire. Lyrics aside for the first, those are some of my favorite instrumental pieces.

          • It’s the piano club!!! XD I play too!! I’ve played since I was 6…soooo 11 years. =) Viva la Vida is a REALLY cool song!! I can’t play it; but I should learn that one…!!!! Sonata in Gm by Mozart is probably the song I’m most proud of knowing.. ;D Do you guys know Jim Brickman?? He does REALLY pretty piano pieces!! They sound difficult; but are actually pretty quick songs to learn (even though they’re like 5 pages). They are popular at Weddings..haha! Angel Eyes and Rocket to the Moon are the two I can play and probably my two favorites of his. =D

          • JIM BRICKMAN! Yes, I love his work! I love “Catching Twilight”, but I haven’t learned it yet.

          • I play too! The soundtrack to Chariots of Fire? I’m impressed- you have good taste. That’s a fantastic movie.

  • It seems like music helps most of you guys. I’m not like that. For me, music is just a way to escape the stress, not deal with it. When I’m under stress, I want my mind to be clear, and I go to God with the problem, giving Him control of the situation. But no offense to all you music lovers! I love music too!

  • I’ve noticed that a lot of y’all have said that listening to really loud music or getting your thoughts off of your stress helps. It may for the moment, but in reality, it just delays your confrontation of your stress. Yes, step away if it’s making you irritable or unfocused, but you will need to confront it eventually. You won’t escape your stress (not trying to be critical, just keep reading), so step away, pray, gather your wits, and find out what it is about your situation that is stressing you out. Then get rid of the stress! If it’s a messy house like @disqus_Sh6PyJ3MsP:disqus said, then come up with a plan to clean it. Typically going about it from the same approach as last time is a bad idea, as you will probably confront the same rough spots that got you stressed in the first place.
    Anyway: walks, soft music, reading light, *happy* books, and talking to a parent about it is a good idea. And don’t take out your stress on someone else, something else, or yourself. That often just makes it worse in the long run.

    • Here’s the deal: when I’m really stressed out or upset, I don’t think calmly, logically, or clearly. So music helps me calm down, chill out, and then I can think about a game plan with a clear mind.

      • I’ve got to agree with both of you (Kyle B and Private Ryan) I guess each individual is different. My new thing is to hide and listen to the radio (as we are not allowed to listen to it in our house) so I sit out in the car, freeze my but off, and hope that I find some relief from it. It seems to understand the pain and anger. But I’ve been realizing it doesn’t solve anything, just helps me understand that when I’m sad/hurt/angry which often comes along with my stress, I’m not alone. But I must step away from that from being my only source of healing. I need to find a way to fight the real problem. So I’m a fence sitter you could say πŸ™‚

          • We aren’t allowed to listen to the radio…I should say we have a short list chosen by our parents that we are allowed to listen to… children’s Bible songs, classical and if we’re lucky a few others. But the radio is a no, as it is seen as a being too much a part of the world. Now I sound like I’m Amish or Mennonite, which I’m not. That’s my parents view on things. But I do go and listen to it outside were they don’t know as a way to cope. I do play piano which is very helpful, as I get to listen to the own music I create πŸ™‚

          • Well I do enjoy classical sometimes…While I don’t know their reasons for not letting y’all listen to the radio, I do respect them, being that they are your God-given parents who God gave you to be your guardians and mentors. But playing the piano is a great way to cope; do you compose your own music?

          • I know they are trying to do it for my good, which I appreciate. Whether I agree with them yet I still have to figure out. Yes, I love composing. It just… gets the emotions out of me. Do you compose?

          • Yeah, it’s always nice to know that somebody’s watching your back. πŸ™‚ In my opinion, I think it’s okay to disagree with your parents, as long as you do it respectfully. And yes, it can be done. You can disagree about whether or not screens keep your brain awake, so don’t use them before bed, but as long as you disagree submissively and respectfully, I don’t see a problem there. But when rebellion begins to get rooted, and secret grumblings towards your parents begin, then it crosses the line.
            I’m not trying to say that you do or do not disagree respectfully, I’m just longwindedly voicing my thoughts.
            I enjoy listening to music, but I don’t compose. I’ve tried to compose before, but its pretty hard on the trumpet, and I don’t play piano (but my sister does), so I haven’t done any composing. I do come up with tunes in my head, though; I’ve never written any down. I do enjoy the POTC soundtrack a great deal. πŸ™‚

          • Thank you so much for the reminder, because I needed it. rebellion is tempting, and fighting it hard and this was very helpful!!
            Yeah, I can see that being more difficult πŸ™‚ Writing it down is the fun part. lol jk πŸ˜›

          • You’re welcome; doing things your own way often looks the most appealing, since you are looking at 1. all of the pros that come with your choice (and typically avoiding or not noticing the cons), or 2. focusing on the cons of your parent’s/authority’s choices, and most of the time not even seeing the pros! The lack of pros at the moment is another thing that drives you away, since all you can see is the limitations imposed on you.
            I’ve never been good at what key, time signature, and so on to write it in. Plus, trumpet doesn’t have Bass cleff. Well, not typically. We go down there, but no music is (normally) written in Bass cleff. I don’t get how pianists can do two separate things with their hands at the same time!!! πŸ™‚ It’s hard enough knowing what valves to press and reading the music, worrying about #’s and flats, and looking for key changes, time signature changes, and all sorts of other things the writers throw in there. But pianists have to worry about both of those things for both cleffs! (Am I spelling cleff wrong or does spell-check just not like it?)
            I just like to sit at my computer and work on a book idea I came up with this month. Or read Return of the King, which I’m looking forward to. πŸ™‚

          • Again thanks. You sum it up pretty well.
            Clef is with one f πŸ˜› I have to laugh cause spelling isn’t my strong point πŸ™‚
            yeah, I guess you could say piano is confusing, never thought of it that way. But then again, think of the organ having to use your feet as well!
            Writing is so enjoyable… help relieve stress too?

          • Ah…I see. Thank you. I fixed that. πŸ™‚ I can spell alright, but I cannot – no matter what – verbally spell something. I have to imagine the word in my head and usually go three letters at a time.
            I don’t even want to think about the organ! πŸ˜‰ That’s a beautiful sound that it makes, but I don’t want to be the one that makes it!
            I thought about learning trombone (yeah I know, no segue), which is yet another easier-to-master brass instrument (no offense to any who play trombone; it’s a beautiful instrument). I still might.
            Um…I wouldn’t say that it relieves stress any more than trying to go along with the plot adds to it, if you know what I mean. πŸ™‚ But it’s fun to do, and I’ve already finished two books that I was working on in one series. Do you write?

          • I write down my thoughts, but not really stories. I have ideas and imagine them, but just can’t get them into words perfectly. It makes me appreciate authors even more.

          • I am in the same boat, it appears. I enjoy writing, but my vocabulary (and sometimes spelling :P) fail me when I sit down to write. And I have a bad case of copyosis, where I read an awesome book or watch an awesome movie, and then I come up with a story a little too similar to what I just watched/read. Like, I just watched Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest last night (and just a minute ago :D), and already ideas are flooding into my mind. But I have to compare them to the movie, and they’re a little too close. Seriously, though, Jerry Bruckheimer has some sore awesome ideas. πŸ˜€

          • Well, I’ve got the exact same problem as you then, copyosis that is πŸ™‚ Or, all I can think of is examples from my life that could be put into a book. I don’t have much imagination beyond that though.

          • Yeah…if you read between the lines of my newest story, you can read “One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them”. πŸ™‚ Yeah, I added a hint of my life to my story, so now it’s a little less like Lord of the Rings. Imagination, if I have a basis, I can work with. But imagination has never been my strongpoint…just like verbal spelling. πŸ˜‰

      • I understand; I don’t think anybody does. I wasn’t trying to condemn or rebuke anybody, and I wasn’t targeting anybody or their actions in particular; I was simply stating my observation. I’m sorry if I came across reproachful or condemning!
        Music does help me too, but I prefer softer, quieter music to help calm me down. Again, just preference. “One Day” by Hans Zimmer is one that I use a lot.

    • True, yet at the same time, sometimes you can’t actually do anything about the problem, and the best you can do is to calm down and figure out how to cope with it.

      • True. It seems like we got a little bit derailed off of “stress” and more onto “pain” or something along those lines. That being said, I believe there is a cause, if not multiple causes, and typically those have to be addressed and tackled. But I do agree, calming down is a key tactic for dealing with stress – whether you do anything to/with your stress or not.

        • Well, stress can come from being worried about something you need to do, but it can also come from situations. Like, for example, I sometimes get stressed when I only have an hour before I need to go to youth group. I know what’s stressing me; being ready in time to go to youth group. But I can’t change the fact that youth group starts at 6:30. So, I can’t do anything about the cause of my stress. The best I can do, is to figure out how to deal with my stress.

          So, that’s what I meant. πŸ™‚

          • That’s true, I guess I didn’t consider all scenarios. I guess the root of that is being stressed about either having a time crunch or being unprepared. The solution might be to go over what you need to bring, and make sure that you’re fully prepared to the best of your knowledge and capability.

    • I can see both sides of it. I tend to bottle things, so just stepping away and trying to forget about stuff doesn’t work terribly well. But at the same time sometimes it’s best to pause, recuperate, and the face the giant- not that I’m all that good at doing it… For facing things, I find it best to journal about things(my favorite form of prayer) and talk to people I trust. But to simply relax and get my mind off things, I do all the stuff I listed in my post below. It’s a mixed bottle.

      • Writing things down seems to be an outlet of stress that quite a few people tend to use. I’m more of the guy who bottles it up and then discards it. I hate to sit on pain or stress and let it fester and grow. But there are times where both stepping back and getting your mind off of it are needed, but it takes a logical, calm mind to determine which: something people usually lack when stressed or hurt.

  • I usually do something with my hands and pray. If I can boulder or work out that keeps me thinking so I can actually talk to God and not explode. He’s the one who can give you peace, so talk to him and run to His Word.

  • First I usually either listen to music or color in order to escape the stress and calm down before dealing with it.
    To deal with it I either take a long walk to clear my head and gain some perspective, talk to someone, pray, and write (that helps me a lot because I don’t take it out on anyone but instead get rid of the negativity and usually figure things out). Sometimes its necessary to do all four.
    If I’m going through something really stressful that is completely beyond my control (which pretty much describes the past 10 months of my life on a almost daily basis) I’ve realized that socializing and just spending time with your good friends really helps. It has kept me sane and prevented me from mentally falling apart so many times! Often when things get hard we want to do the opposite and isolate ourselves from everyone, but being with other people (the right ones of course) reminds you that you are not alone and that everyone is fighting their own battles.
    Hope that helps!!

    • So true! My mother often tells me I should stop socializing and focus on my life with some alone time to stop my stress. But honestly, people seem to be my remedy, they relax me and give me happiness to a once confused life. Though the confusion isn’t gone, I can look at it with a smile.

    • Ooh, I forgot about taking a walk! Yeah, that’s a fantastic stress reliever. My family doesn’t live in a particularly large house, and there’s usually 7 of us in it, so sometimes I just have to go outside where there are no siblings. It is just me, God, and His creation. It’s amazing.

      • Same here!! My sisters family lives with us right now so there are eleven of us, all in one house. It’s pretty tight and loud!!! Walks are my stress reliever and stress preventer. πŸ™‚

  • “Stressed Out” by TØP (twenty one pilots) is my jam whenever I’m stressed, along with anything from Andy Mineo’s album Uncomfortable. Music does help me escape from the stress a bit, but after I emerge from a jam sesh, I usually have a better perspective on life.

    And this question is perfect for me, because I’m right in the midst of studying for finals (and junior year grades are essential). I hope and pray for anyone else who is undergoing such sheer torture as finals.

    • When it comes to finals, sometimes the best way to destress is to take an hour or two out and completely ignore revising or even thinking about them. As long as long as you go back to them. I’m at dissertation stage so trust me on that one πŸ˜‰

  • Good question. I pray, read the Word and worship Him in songs of praise. Trusting Him for all things has come in incremental stages in my life, but it is always a faith builder.

    Isaiah 26:3-4 You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever,for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.

    In Him,
    Ms. Jean

  • I recently taught myself how to play the guitar and I love playing songs and learning new strumming patterns. I also took up long range archery, and I love shooting up my old 6th grade science poster board to shreds;D I’m also a intense doodler and artist, it’s my escape from school and stress and life. I suggest taking ceramics and it’s like theorapy. Hands covered in clay, gliding over the smooth, slimy surface…its a hard feeling to describe, but its just so relaxing in a strange way. Tell me there are ceramicists out here on the Reb?? XD

  • Like a lot of other people are saying, playing music is so helpful for me. Guitar and Piano are especially fun because you can just play really loud and really hard;) Also, listening to music is amazing for me and I have found it to be the only thing that can make me forget my stress. And to be completely honest, sleeping is fantastic too. Lol

  • “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” -Psalm 32:7

    • I’m sorry to hear that! I think we all have days where we just want to give up and not press on anymore: but honestly, which is better: fighting a seemingly never-ending fight over something you know you can conquer, or giving in to something that will reign you as long as you will allow, and knowing that you can get free if you want to? Again, I’m not trying to condemn anybody on anything, but I think it’s something that everybody does/struggles with, and something that we absolutely need to get a hold on! Again, I’m sorry to hear that you don’t want to fight sometimes: may the fellow Christians and Rebelutionaries surrounding you here and in life encourage you!

  • Well I’ve never been too amazing at handling stress. Actually maybe I mean normal in my way of handling stress. I have always laughed when under stress. I have a huge grin and usually can’t keep a straight face to save my life. Oh and another way i deal with stress is eating. Chocolate especially. Anyways… yeah…

  • I pray, pray and pray some more! And cast my cares on Him, for He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7). Whenever stress threatens, I must remind myself of Who really matters and re-focus my eyes back on Jesus.

    • Yes!! This is truly the best way–the Way–fixing our eyes on Jesus! πŸ™‚ {Hebrews 12:1-2} As far as the practical aspect goes, Honey Vanilla Chamomile tea is soothing or playing praise music. {Is. 61:3}

  • I wish you happiness and good with all my heart in the world and the Hereafter Please Read the holy quran because it is the words of God. I ask God to guide you to the correct religion And live true happiness Thanks very much

  • Prayer and high-quality essential oils! Beautiful aids from the Creator of all, one through communication and the other through enjoying the world he gave us. Peppermint, Lavender, Tangerine, Grapefruit, and Black Pepper are all good for stress.

  • If you are involved in various activities to the point where you are overwhelmed with stress, you may need to step back a little. Its hard to give yourself a rest, especially when you are doing good things for God. But in order for you to be your best and hold your wits about you, a little you time is not a selfish thing. Take time to just be with God and get away from the noise. πŸ™‚

rebelling against low expectations

The Rebelution is a teenage rebellion against low expectationsβ€”a worldwide campaign to reject apathy, embrace responsibility, and do hard things. Learn More β†’