rebelling against low expectations

I Wouldn’t Trade My Single Years for Anything


It’s easy for me to sink into self-pity and mope around because I still remain single to this day (although, honestly, I am really not that old and so am really not that concerned about it).

I am that girl who has always wanted to get married and have children, but here I sit writing this post as a 22-year-old who has never been even asked out on a date.

But as I was thinking the other day and most likely trying to comfort myself over still being single, I realized just how blessed I am to be single.

So many of my young friends (many of them younger than I) are dating, engaged, or already married.

As I thought about it, it struck me that some of these friends have hardly even experienced any sort of single life. Some of them have not even made it through one year of college without being in a relationship.

Although it is by no means wrong to get in a relationship or get married at a young age and is often the calling God has over someone’s life, I also know that these people, while blessed immeasurably in another way, are missing out to a certain extent on the joys and blessings of being single.

As much as I long to be married and as much as I have longed to be married ever since I was a little girl, I would not trade these single years for anything.

I have had amazing opportunities to serve in my church, reach out to others, and love my brothers and sisters in Christ. Not to mention that the single years are such beautiful and ripe years for growing in my love for Christ and the gospel.

These things cannot be experienced to the same extent for one who is in a relationship because much of their time is taken up with getting to know the other person.

Live your single years with a passion, zeal, and purpose.

Whether God has marriage for us some day or not, we should be able to look back over these years and see beauty, growth, and a life of productivity.

Marriage is a beautiful thing and I do not at all mean for this post to look down upon those who are married or young and dating, nor do I mean for this post to sound like single women are better than the married ones.

But rather, if God chooses for you to remain single forever (or simply just longer than maybe many of your friends) then see that as a beautiful treasure and gift from God.

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Photo courtesy of Candida Performa and Flickr Creative Commons.


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About the author

Hannah Foster

Hannah Foster is a graduate of Bethlehem College and Seminary with a bachelor’s degree in History of Ideas. She loves a well written book, two favorite authors being Jane Austin and L. M. Montgomery. She also enjoys writing, desiring that her words bring comfort and hope to those who have experienced deep suffering through the loss of a loved one. You can also find her crocheting, creating art, and watching western shows while spending time with her husband.


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  • “I am that girl who has always wanted to get married and have children,
    but here I sit writing this post as a 22-year-old who has never been
    even asked out on a date.”
    I can so identify (I’m older than most people on here–closer to your age). Thank you for this encouragement, Hannah. Well-meaning people have told me so many times, “Aren’t you ever going to have a boyfriend?” or something similar and it’s way too easy to agree with their viewpoint and fall into the self-pity trap. But singleness truly can be a blessing–and it certainly shouldn’t be wasted time! I needed to hear this. Thank you again for writing. ~Anna

    • I am glad my article could be used to encourage you during this season of your life, Anna! I had a co-worker who used to always ask me if I had a boyfriend or ask me when I was going to get one. 😉
      Its fun to see other people on the Reb. who are older like me. 😉

      • 🙂 but sometimes I wonder if I should quit commenting on here because I’m not a teen anymore…

        • Yeah, I would feel that way sometimes too, when I first started commenting on hear, but I think in all honesty, you are more than welcome to be on here and should not feel to old to be commenting or writing for the Reb.

        • I speak as a “younger” teen on here (16), and I love and greatly appreciate the input from you “not-actually-a-teen-anymore” folks 😉

  • So right, Hannah!
    1 Corinthians 7:32-34
    I want you to be free from concern. The unmarried man is concerned about the work of the Lord, how he can please the Lord; but the married man is concerned about the affairs of this world, how he can please his wife, and his interests are divided. The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the work of the Lord, how she can be holy in both body and spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world, how she can please her husband.

    It’s so comforting to know that we don’t have to worry about what our lives are going to look like in the future. We can trust that God knows the plans He has for us (Jer 29:11) and will guide us into them as we trust Him (Rom 12:2).

  • Thank you for writing this, Hannah! It really encouraged me, and it was a good reminder to live my single years the fullest.

  • Thank you Hannah! This was exactly what I needed to hear. It encouraged me to live my single years to the fullest and to make the most of them to serve Christ. I also really like the Rifleman, its really good but sadly no one at my house likes it so its nice to find someone who likes it as well =)

    Thanks again!
    Bekah ( )

    • Hi @Bekah14:disqus! I am so glad you were encourage by my article! Thank you for reading!
      Yay! It is so fun to find others who like the same thing as yourself, like the Rifleman! 😉 I also really like Gunsmoke and Roy Rogers, two other westerns. Have you seen either of those?

        • Hmmm. I am not sure. It has actually been awhile since I have watched it and I would just watch it on YouTube. It has actually been a while since I wrote that little bio. about myself. I watch a lot of Gunsmoke now. I usually go through phases of watching a lot of just one particular show. So I used to do a lot of The Rifleman, but then discovered Gunsmoke and now mostly do him. 😉 Do you have a favorite Rifleman episode that you would suggest I watch?

          • I really like the one when Mark disobeys his father and drinks the dirty water from the well and gets sick a little morbid maybe but it really shows the bond between father and son and I guess that’s why I like it 😉 I don’t know the season or the episode it was on because it was on MeTV but you could probably look it up online. I also really, really like Emergency! Its probably my favorite show right now 😉 I am want to be a paramedic when I am older so its educational! Thanks for chatting with me about my “obsessions!”

          • I really love watching the father/son relationship in the Rifleman. I think that was one of the first things that drew me to it.
            I have been getting into the BBC Emma 2009 series. I have only seen the first episode so far, but really enjoyed it and am eager to watch the next one.

          • As in Emma by Jane Eyre? I have always wanted to see that one! I am a huge fan of the BBC Pride and Prejudice episodes with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. I would also love to see BBCs Great Expectations. 🙂

          • Emma by Jane Austen (Jane Eyre is the name of a book by one of the Brontë sisters. I get the two mixed up too 😉 ). I only just got into it because I saw a blogger write something about it and then my roommate told me she loved it, so we watched the first one together and I am hoping to do the second one soon. 😉 Maybe after I am done with the Emma series, I can do the Pride and Prejudice series, I also want to do Sense and Sensibility too.

          • Yes, sorry, I always get them mixed up! I meant Jane Austen. 🙂 Charlotte Bontë I believe wrote Jane Eyre.
            Yes, I would definitely recommend the Pride and Prejudice series after you finish Emma! It is prime on Amazon if you happen to have Amazon prime. 🙂 I also wish to see Sense and Sensibility, but I want to read it first. However, I fear I will end up having to listen to an audio book of it because I am already reading way too many books. 🙂

      • My mom watches Gunsmoke every single night. I used to, but I got tired of repeats. 🙂 Still love Marshal Dillon though! Do you watch Rockford Files, Wanted Dead or Alive, Rawhide, or Hogans Heroes?

        • Yeah, I know what you mean, but Marshal Dillon is great. I have not heard of any of the others you mentioned. Maybe I should check them out. Are they new or old?

          • There between the 50s and 70s. You should definitely look them up! There great! Hogans Heroes is a WWII comedy, Rawhide is about cattlemen, Wanted Dead or Alive is about a bounty hunter, and Rockford Files is about a P.I.

      • I love Roy Rogers films as well! I am a big fan of westerns and it is nice to find other who are as well. 🙂 I have yet to watch Gunsmoke because Bonanza is my go-to western TV show. 🙂

        • Yay! Another Roy Rogers fan! My sister and I love watching that one together. I don’t watch a whole lot by myself, but when ever my sisters and I are able to be together we love to watch an episode.
          I have seen a few Bonanzas, too. I didn’t like them as much, but they were fun. One of them that we watched was a little strange.

          • Yes, it is always much more fun to watch these things with my sisters. 🙂 😉

  • True this. So many people enter into relationships because they are not content with themselves, which begins with understanding and nurturing our relationship with God. It’s tempting to think otherwise, but indeed the opportunity the single life provides is unparalleled in serving God with everything we’ve got.

  • Yaayy for all da single ladies (and guys of course! …that was a Beyonce reference hehe :P)!! Thank you so much for this Hannah! I’m glad that someone is representing the single community in the Church. Too often, I find young girls desiring to be married, rather than be open to the will of God. Being married and being a mom is wonderful, I am not saying that at all, but remember don’t rush through your single years, miserable and waiting around for God to send you someone. Instead, be joyful that this is God’s will for you at that time! Desire to be apart of His kingdom no matter what chapter of life you’re in! 😉

rebelling against low expectations

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