rebelling against low expectations

How do I approach my parents about something I’m struggling with?


ANONYMOUS WRITES: I am really struggling with my appetite. So far, I’ve lost almost 20 pounds in a short amount of time. My parents don’t believe that the terms “eating disorder” and “anorexia” exist. What should I do? I don’t want to end up in the hospital, but I don’t know how else to get help.

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  • Eating disorders and anorexia are very real things. If you need help, but your parents refuse to believe anything is wrong with you, you should go to another adult you trust, or an older friend and talk to them about it. Don’t wait to get help.

  • Dear Anonymous,

    I wish I could give you a hug, and let you know I care about you. I guess, to some, that seems odd, considering your anonymity. But God knows who you are, and I’m praying for you 🙂

    I would really encourage you to seek help from your parents or another Godly mentor in your life… which sounds like cliche advice, but hear me out.

    Everyone’s struggles are different, but I definitely understand the struggle of breaching hard topics with parents. It’s scary, I know. There was an issue I used to struggle with that I was so scared to talk to my parents about. I was scared because I didn’t know what they would say/think/do. I hated the uncertainty of it. Would they not take me seriously enough? Would they not understand? Would they take me too seriously? Ultimately, that was completely out of my control and it was hard for me to take.

    Looking back on it, I realized I have never understood how to trust God so helplessly as I did the night I talked to them. I had to trust Him entirely, not only for words to speak (talking’s never been my cup o’ tea), but for ears to listen.

    Hmmm… long story. I’m sorry. I don’t even know if that helps you or not.

    So this is my prayer for you. I pray that God would give you courage to speak and reach out for help, whether to your parents or another Godly adult in your life. I pray that you would see how beautiful you are in the eyes of your Creator. I pray that no matter what your parents reaction is, that you would bask in the Truth.

    You are beautiful.

    You are loved.

    There is hope.

    There is help.

    And you are not alone.

    Praying for you,

  • I’m praying for you dear anonymous. I wish it was possible to send cyber hugs. I think most of the advice you need has already been said much better than I could have expressed. Stay strong in your relationship with Christ; seek Him above all things. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” -Psalm 46:1

  • Get help. You can’t do this on your own and that’s okay. These guys nailed it, all I can add is to get some advice from your church leadership. They can lead you and help you even if your parents won’t. Hope this helps!

  • You really need to get some help. Try talking to your parents about it, but if they don’t understand, talk to a trusted adult from church, like a small group leader or mentor. Don’t be silent about this struggle.

  • Try talking to someone you trust other than your parents first; such as a teacher, friend, or even youth leader that you may have. Confide in a trusted friend to get advice about how to approach your parents.

  • I have had a very real struggle with talking about things to my parents, but you have to remember that they probably only want to help. I had a very hard time opening up to my parents about my depression and self harm issues, but once I did, and they started to see my struggle, they only wanted to understand.
    If you really can’t bring yourself to talk to your parents about it, then find a pastor who you trust who will be able to guide you.
    Hugs to you! I’ll be praying for you as well! I know it can be hard to open up about our struggles so have courage!!

      • I’m sorry you have depression issues Evan. I’ll be praying for you. I don’t have a doctors diagnosis. If that’s what you mean. I believe depression is so much more than a simple diagnosis.

    • I agree. I have an issue with migraine headaches, and when I brought it to my Mom she was just super awesome about it, and we worked on it together. After a few years, we finally figured out that they only came when I didn’t have enough protein. Now I’m fine, as long as I get my meals on time, lol.
      But maybe you can’t talk to your parents. Call it cowardly, but sometimes I find it easier to write them a letter first, explaining everything, and let Mom find it. You don’t have to face them right away but they still get what’s going on.
      And if that isn’t an option, you should certainly find other help. A pastor is a good example.

      • Wow, that’s so awesome that you could figure out what was wrong! Yes, I prefer written rather than in person as well. It gives them time to digest everything before they just react to what’s happening. Thanks so much for your input! I really appreciate hearing from you!

        • We were thanking God for that! We just tried one thing at a time. I missed out on peanuts for a long time at one point, that was a sad day, lol.

  • Eating disorders are very real, and I don’t want you to end up in the hospital either. Is there another adult in your life, besides your parents, that you feel like you could talk to? I’m praying for you.

  • I don’t know who you are but I know a lot about disorders. More about mental and behavior than eating disorders but I still know a bit about that type. I’m both bipolar and autistic . I took up studying disorders. You need to talk to your folks about this. And possibly see a doctor ? I am here to talk to. I’m gonna be 19 I a few months but got my diagnosis when I was 6. If you need to talk to me I’m [email protected] . Don’t let anyone bully you over it. You might want to see a doctor and see if you can get medical help. And listen to Hailey she is correc t

  • I don’t know much on this topic but I wanted to share something that helped me stop listening to Satans lies. Here’s a video link please listen and share.
    Anonymous, I am praying for you please don’t hesitate to get help if you think you need it and if it’s your parents don’t listen to you go to someone in your church or family that you can trust. God bless you!

  • In my opinion talking to a(or some) godly Christian adult(s) that you trust is the way to go, they don’t have to be your parents, maybe they will talk to your parents with you.
    That’s all that I can think of besides praying, I hope this helps.

rebelling against low expectations

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