rebelling against low expectations

How can Christian teens reach out to homosexuals?


DELANEY WRITES: I have recently developed a heart for those who find themselves attracted to members of the same gender. It’s not their fault that they’re more prone to this particular sin and yet the church often shuns them and treats them as if they are somehow less than human.

Don’t get me wrong, I firmly believe that homosexuality is directly against the Bible (Rom. 1:24-27; 1 Cor. 6:9-10; Lev. 18:22; 20:13). I am also aware that many homosexuals are very unkind in their actions towards those who disagree with them.

However, I also firmly believe that the church ought not judge them. God looks at my sins just as He looks at theirs. Jesus can do for the lesbian couple just what He did for me.

So how can we show them Christ’s love? They shouldn’t have to put up with being mistreated by the church that is supposed to love them. What are your thoughts?

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are submitted by real rebelutionaries who are looking for godly answers to tough questions and lively conversation with other young adults. You can join the conversation by commenting below. If you'd like to submit your own discussion question, email us at [email protected].


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  • I think the first step is recognizing that it is in fact a problem, and also recognizing that God’s in the business of problems. Ask him how his day went. Pray unceasingly.

  • Basically what Josh said. Just to add/reiterate: I think we need to be very careful and not over-welcome homosexuals into everything. They need to know we don’t condone their behavior and that we think it is entirely wrong. But, as was already said: we need to witness to them just like any other lost person!! Hate the crime not the criminal…or in other words: hate the sin, not the sinner.

    • Just out of curiosity… What would you say we shouldn’t be quick to invite homosexuals into? I could just see that going many different directions and I wonder which one you’re taking 🙂

      • Well, for example like leadership positions in the church or even like teaching a Sunday school class or running the nursery…those type things.

        • In that case, I agree. Except I think some people acknowledge that they have homosexual tendencies and keep from giving into them, accepting that it would be sinful to do so – I don’t think those people should be unallowed to hold major roles in the church. But if someone is letting their feelings rule their lives by engaging in a homosexual relationship, they shouldn’t be allowed to do things that you said. That would mean they’re actively sinning, and that’s not something God or the church should take lightly in a believer – no matter what their sin is.

          • Of course!! Temptation isn’t a sin…it’s acting on that temptation that is. so if someone is just tempted, I also would agree that alone shouldn’t prhibit them from leadership roles…though it should be carefully considered!

  • Hey Delaney,
    I like what Megan and GWA/Josh said; maybe this will help. I think to show God’s love is by being their friend first and then gradually tell them about God and how they need God to help them overcome this sin. 🙂 I hope that helps.

  • Sometimes we forget that homosexuals are actually people. Crazy right? They are broken and need Jesus just like we all do. They need friends. Jesus was friends with the tax collectors and the other people the “religious” people of the day considered unfit for socializing with. I think one thing big to remember is, a homosexual is NOT a project. As rebulutionaries we tend to rush in and try to fix everything and everyone around us. But if we were to take this approach with an actual human being, would they walk away feeling loved? Would they believe you actually cared? Yes, I do believe there are some occasions where God calls us to step out in that moment to declare Truth.
    However, I plead with you to build a relationship first. Gain mutual respect. This person does not have to be your best friend (bad company corrupts good character). From experience I know this works better than just calling them out right away. So the truth is loving a broken person (which is everyone) is not an easy task. It requires a commitment not a checklist. HOwver, it can be one of the most rewarding processes ever!

    • OK but I would be pissed if I found out that someone built a relationship with me for the ulterior motive of condemning my sexuality later on. The Trojan Horse of friendship, if you will. We would not be friends much longer.

  • I think I’m just going to reiterate what Christy said and pull what the others said together on what I think is the most important point. Homosexuals are people and sinners just like us. We need to be their friends, not their enemies. Ultimately God is in control, He has a plan for their lives and only He can make it happen. We are called to be witnesses, but we can’t change anyone. Don’t ever go into a relationship trying to change someone, that’s God’s job, our job is to show them God and to be their friend. I believe that goes for any human being, not just gays.
    Good luck! I hope you make a huge impact on those around you. 🙂

  • While your compassion is admirable, my concern is your statement ” It’s not their fault that they’re more prone to this particular sin” is totally wrong. The world has worked so hard at trying to delude people in thinking that homosexuals are born that way is a lie. The really sad thing is that people in churches are now accepting this sin as if the homosexual is just helpless to be other than that.

    As far as a Christian is concerned, we are to be very careful with whom we share Christ. Homosexuals have chosen their sin just as others choose their sin. The problem with homosexuality is that these people have been given over by God to a depraved mind to do what they ought not do. What we all need to do is be careful about our relationships and witnessing to people unless you are completely solid and mature in the Word.

    And don’t forget that God has already placed judgment on their sins. Our observance and knowledge of their sinnot judging. That has already been done.

    As far as witnessing and being a younger person, I would limit my exposure to them, but when around them, treat them as you would others. Pray for them. Be kind to them. Remember, it is God who does the drawing. Be careful that your compassion for them doesn’t become a trap.

    • I appreciate this balancing attempt… I was also put off by the “its not their fault.” However you want to call it, the wages of sin is still death.

      However, I’m curious about this statement: “As far as a Christian is concerned, we are to be very careful with whom we share Christ.”

      Is this a self-protective argument (those who touch pitch will be defiled) or an argument about election? Or something else? I’m assuming that its protective because of your statement shortly after about being careful in relationships unless we are solid, but I’m curious to hear you expound that.

      • I was addressing the issue of homosexuality. And my concern was for the waffling as to whether it was a sin or not. As a Christian, i do not fear the world or its systems. I am as protected as God allows me to be. But I also am totally aware of mans capacity for sinfulness. It might seem that being careful is self-protective is actually soul-protective for me.

        Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

        Paul was speaking to believers to be careful when trying to restore a fellow believer to rightness with God. How much more we need to be concerned when trying to reach a non-believer in homosexuality. I believe that that verbal witness should only be done by the mature who are well versed with deep knowledge of the scriptures involved with the destructive nature of this deeply demonic form of behavior.

        I believe that most young people (there are exceptions) that want to witness should make sure they are following God wholeheartedly and being obedient in all things concerning Christ. In all of my years of experience teaching youth, it was the quiet witness that I remember. I have sat under several pastors and knew them all well. Some were great preachers, some were mediocre. But when I look back, I can rarely remember what they said, but I will never forget how they lived. Our greatest witness is more often quiet and wordless.

        1 Corinthians 4:20 For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power.

        Hope this answers your question.

        God bless.
        Ms. Jean

        • I agree with you for the most part, but we’re called to share Christ with everyone, aren’t we? Especially those who are living in sin. The Bible never said we have to be extra mature in order to talk to certain people. For those of us who have peers who are homosexual, those peers will listen to us better than they will listen to an adult. We may be their only chance to hear the gospel.

          • Yes, we are all called to witness. If either you or anyone of any age believes they are to share Christ with the homosexuals by telling them the whole gospel, which predominately includes getting them to acknowledge their sin which includes the sharing of both Old and New Testament scriptures about God’s condemnation and consequences of their sin followed with prayer for repentance and a message for them to turn from their sin–and all done with God’s lovingkindness towards them, then I say that you are equipped.

            The problem of the gospel of the day is that it has been reduced to a heavy emphasis on sharing of the wonders of God’s love and totally leaving out discussion of men’s depravity in sight of a Holy God.

            I have been a very strong believer and have taught and ministered to many youth, young adults and adults. I have rarely seen sharing Christ done appropriately. And sad to say, I rarely meet anyone who is properly equipped for witnessing with the whole gospel.

            Sharing God’s whole counsel is not an easy message to bring, especially to homosexuals. It requires a confession that their lifestyle is sinful, that they need to repent and turn from their wicked ways. Homosexuals have a very deep stronghold of sexual deviancy. In most cases, living your faith without using words is often very much respected by the lost as most have heard it all, but few have seen it lived out in peoples’ lives.

            Blessings to you.

            In Him,
            Ms. Jean

          • I can understand your viewpoint Ms. Jean, however I noticed some things in your writing that don’t seem quite right. (Do know that I say this all in love, and for the purpose of anyone who could learn from our discussion!) Firstly, just because living a life that glorifies God is a HUGE part of testifying to others does NOT mean that actually telling them about Christ is something that should be seen as a “lesser” sort of job. It is part of our roles as Christians. Secondly, you say that you’ve rarely met anyone that is properly equipped to witness the whole gospel. I believe that people have spiritual gifts that make them especially good at witnessing to others. But part of being a Christian is that Christ works through us and speaks through us, and he can use ANYONE to do this. You are equipped simply by being a Christian. Next, you argue that homosexuals have been given over by God to do what they ought not to. Ms. Jean, everyone sins. God doesn’t see any sins as worse than any others. If this is true, then your theory says that we should be wary about witnessing to anyone. I don’t believe that’s right. As for the verse you pointed out in Galatians, the reason that God wants us to point out the sins in BELIEVERS ‘ lives is because they are supposedly living by His word, and if they are doing it badly, it reflects poorly on Him. However, if a nonbeliever is acting badly, our job is not to simply point out their sin, but to lead them to God. One cannot repent of sins if they don’t believe God is existent. I do agree with you that we should be mature in faith before allowing ourselves to be particularly close to people who could cause us to stumble, but I think we need to be careful with limiting those who are able to witness about Christ. He can enable all to do so – even a five year old with limited Biblical knowledge.

          • Leah,

            I think where we maybe disagree is that our viewpoints of what witnessing is are different. I believe Jesus left us a pattern to follow in sharing the gospel. It is not the lighthearted, watered down efforts that are made today. Read the Apostles way of sharing the gospel. The approach was not all about God’s grace to cover our sins, but the approach always discussed the hearers sinful nature and their need of repentance.

            I am not sure what you consider witnessing, but I do know that most church leaders and teachers today have lost their saltiness because of the watering down of the whole counsel of God.

            I pray the best for you.

            May God always be glorified.

            In Him,
            Ms. Jean

          • Hi Mrs. Jean! I’ve been reading this thread, (great discussion btw) and I was wondering, what would you call witnessing? I normally call it sharing the gospel, so maybe it’d be better to ask “what is the gospel, and how do you share it?” Either way, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

          • Hi Okie Gal:

            What a challenging question. Thank you.

            I believe that the Great Commission in Matthew explains witnessing.

            Matthew 28:19-20 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

            This command is for all who have themselves been trained to go out and disciple, teach and sharing the responsibilities of obedience to all,of God’s mandates in scripture.

            I consider witnessing very serious business. Unfortunately I have seen the demise of sound biblical teaching which has included a distorted view of sharing Christ, by trying to make it more palatable to the lost. Often little trite phrases are used about God’s grace and love without an ounce of teaching of repentance. And without that knowledge and the whole counsel of God presented to the lost a conversion can be a false one. This is rampant in the churches of today.

            I believe that we are all in training if we are pursuing Christ. Many are not yet trained fully and that is when I strongly stress a quiet witness of deeds and actions. This generation of the lost has heard it all and are looking for more than words. Everybody is talking and no one is listening. Lifestyle witness requires a total trust in God’s promises to work through us so that He will be glorified. I would challenge anyone to look back at people in their lives that influenced them and their words will not be a dominating factor: it will be their lifestyle that matched up with their words.

            God bless your desire to ask questions. I listened to a sermon the other day that said that all great leaders are answer seekers. Stay in the Word, remain obedient and hold on for a wonderfully exciting and perilous life, expectantly waiting His return.

            I pray the best for you.

            Mrs. Jean

            PS: I am a half-Okie gal. That is where my dad was raised.

          • Yay! Someone gets my name, I think you’re the first! 😂

            Thanks for answering so quickly, I know it’s a loaded question. I definitely agree about the way we can cut the fact that we’ve sinned out of the gospel. I’ve done that before and it’s really stupid because without something to be saved *from* nobody gets saved, and at that point I’m not even talking about the real gospel. I guess people can’t see the beauty of grace before they know how far that is from what they deserve.

            Would you call disciple-making a process? In my church we usually try to work “threads” of the gospel into normal conversations and then if there’s a chance to share the whole thing the ground work’s already down.

            Anyway, thanks for answering my question, and making me think. Have a good day!

          • Wow. I thought everyone knew what Okie meant. It is nice to be first at something.😀

            You sound as if you have had some good teaching. Discipling is a process. It begins at conversion and depending upon a person’s desire to learn and grow, one should never stop being discipled by others ahead of them in their walk. Other than the Word of God, God has told us to learn from our elders. I am saddened by all of these new teachers that have honed in on an age group and shut out the elderly. They are an ever-giving gift to those striving to walk out their faith.

            Blessings and thanks for the conversation.

            Mrs. Jean.

          • I know, I thought it was really obvious but people think it’s my actual name! I’ve been really blessed by my church fam and, like you said, the ones who’ve been saved longer usually know more. Thanks for this convo, it’s so great to learn from other Christians, I guess that’s a dorm a discipleship right there! 😎😊

          • I see where you’re coming from, but I agree with Leah that God can speak through anyone and that all sins separate us from God, so there’s no reason to not share the gospel with a gay friend. It would be cruel to withhold such good news from them!

            As for being “completely solid and mature in the Word,” no one has it all together, and if we keep waiting to become completely mature, we will miss valuable opportunities to be used by God.

    • Hey Miss Selden. It’s been a while since we talked, how are you doing? I’m still praying for you.

      I’d challenge your perception that homosexuals choose this sin. You see, I struggle with same-sex attraction; I have for a long time. I never chose this temptation, in fact I’d give just about anything to be straight. Homosexuals are often treated like freaks and have been labeled child m*lesters, demon-possessed, and accursed by God; why would someone choose to identify himself with that group if he was not truly attracted to the same gender?

      And I also would say that witnessing to a non-Christian homosexual is the same as witnessing to the average heterosexual non-Christian. Most people of both orientations are having s*x outside of marriage, and that’s wrong whether it’s with the opposite gender or the same. Adultery and homosexuality are condemned together, on the same level of “this is sin.”

      • Hi Mime:

        I appreciate you thinking of me and wondering how I am doing. Life is challenging but it just pushes me more towards the Lord.

        I understand your suggesting that I might change my viewpoints on homosexuality. I want you to know that while I sympathize with your struggle, as a Christian who loves the truth of God, I am in no position to question His judgment on people and their choices. I didn’t make the rules. He did. I believe that I would disqualify myself as a Christ follower if I rejected His Word. I am sure that you are aware of the scriptures throughout the Bible that speak of homosexuality as well as other sins that unregenerate man will be judged for. We all are presented with challenges, temptations and desires that are contrary to God’s design for our lives. It is only when we give into our impulses and feelings do we reject his commands. He does not tempt man.

        James 1:12-15 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

        When I was young like you and not serving God, I was tossed around by all sorts of temptations and desires. I smoked pot, did drugs, was promiscuous, and rebellious towards anything that was good. I should have died many times. It wasn’t until God, in His mercy and in my desperation for help found me wanting Him and I gave everything up to live in honor to Him. You see there is good seed and bad seed. And while that seed is starting to grow, it it very difficult to see what that plant is until it has taken root. We can be deceived until that seed produces either good or rotten fruit. Man has given us all examples of the results of rejecting God’s ways, i.e. drug addictions, alcoholism, rage, hatred, diseases, factions, divorce and I could go on and on. It is inevitable that whatever seed that I allow sowed in my heart is either going to produce good fruit or bad fruit. God gives us examples in His Word of the end sowing bad seed. If we don’t take heed, we are just victims doe the enemy.

        Sexual perversion of any form is condemned by God. It would be impossible for God to create people sinful. We choose the sin. We refuse to love the truth of the Word and so there is no choice for Him but to follow up on his judgment. Anyone can turn from sin. We choose what we want to be a slave to. I have struggled with my weight for years and it took years before I achieved a victory over it and I can choose to return to it any time. So I make the choice not to be gluttonous by staying away from things that will stir up my desires. I have to choose not to being the wrong types of foods into the house. I have to choose who I hang out with if I am struggling. It is the same with any desire or temptation.

        With homosexuality, you must choose who you hang with, you must choose what you watch and what you read, and most importantly, you must turn from any sin in order to be saved. Being tempted is normal, but we choose whether to act on it or not. God has given us all a way out of any temptation and we must starve the life out of any besetting sin that takes us away from God. It is very hard for young people today as social media and constant noise is distracting them from diving into the Word of God. They are now more interested in what man is telling them than they are to hear what their Creator has to so Who only wants good for you.

        My heart breaks for your struggle. I would encourage you to walk away now from any area that might influence you to reject God’s love for you. His plan is for good. On the other hand, your adversary is doing everything he can to confuse you, entice you and make you question truth. He is a liar and even though what Satan offers you is portrayed as fun and good, there is an end and that is destruction.

        I will pray for you. You are no different than anyone else. There is a way out.

        1 Corinthians 10:12-13 Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

        I am always open for conversation.

        Ms. Jean

        • So when you say “saved”… do you mean no longer being tempted? I agree that no Christian has to commit any sin, including homosexuality. However, the mindset of homosexuality, being attracted to members of the same gender, is not something that God says He will remove from the lives of His children. What I see you saying is that if I’m a committed Christian, I won’t be attracted in this way; yet I know from my own life and the lives of some friends that a person can be same-sex attracted and experience a wonderful relationship with the Lord.

        • Hi Mime:
          Thanks for your question.

          Man will never be free from temptation. That is a lifelong battle for Christians. Paul had a ‘thorn in his flesh’ that God chose to not remove. We don’t know what that ‘thorn’ was, but God used it to keep him humble. I have areas of temptation that have dogged me for years. Without Christ offering me a way out of submitting to the sin, I have had to practice righteousness. Freedom from being a slave to temptation and sin is hard to attain, but we can be victorious.
          The key word is “practice.” Christians rarely have an instant deliverance from temptation and sin. It is like being on a NFL team. It takes practice for all of the plays to be perfected. It takes submission, time, commitment and lots of practice.

          1 John 3:7-10 Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God. By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.

          God has given us all we need to overcome. We are all without excuse if we believe that any human desire can’t be overcome with repentance, prayer, knowledge of the Word and submission to it. It is not easy. But we are to be conformed to Him. He cares for us. And He loves us.

          God bless you!

          Mrs. Jean

        • “I am in no position to question His judgment on people and their choices. I didn’t make the rules. He did.”

          Nah, but you might be in a position to question your interpretation of His judgment and His rules. You acknowledge that you are simply human and thus prone to error, right? After all, you’re not perfect. Only God is perfect. So why not acknowledge the possibility that your interpretation of God’s rules might be incorrect? Otherwise you are putting yourself on the same level as God in terms of knowledge and wisdom.

          • I always question mine or anyone else’s interpretation of anything. I have interpreted your statements as grossly ill-informed scripturally and are lacking in biblical knowledge and, therefore, you speak out of ignorance. But then, again, I might just be speaking my own interpretation.

            Start renewing your mind with scripture rather than the garbage you are being fed by the world.

  • This topic really speaks to me! I’ve also felt my heart drawn to minister to those who struggle with same-sex attraction and Transgenderism (gender identity disorders). The way our culture strives to celebrate and affirm such a sensitive form of brokenness hurts my heart so much. I agree with everyone else in the respect that they all need Jesus, they’re not “projects”. A friend of mine attended Moody Bible Institute, and a few years ago he and his friends put together an amazing documentary about a young man who went to the school who struggled with SSA. it was so shocking and heartbreaking to hear and see how the church completely shunned him, or tired to “fix him” by taking him to do “manly” activities like camping and such. The main theme of the film was “it’s not about me, and what I want, It’s about honoring Christ. If my desires go against His law, then I can’t give in to the temptation”. I think one of the church’s main failures is they push away the homosexuals, and in doing so shove them straight into the waiting arms of the secular world who’s just waiting to affirm them.

    If I can find a link to the film I will post it later:)

    I also watched an episode of “I am Cait” (the Bruce Jenner series) in a hotel last year out of curiosity, and it’s so evident that he is sturggling so much with who he is as a person. He feels like “I can’t be fulfilled as a man, maybe I was meant to be a woman!”

  • As what they have also said, the first step is to build relationships with them. Be kind to them just as Jesus would if He’s in our place. However, take into consideration that we do not condone their actions. Let them know that in any possible unoffensive manner. Our goal here is to restore them to Christ, not condemn them. After earning the same respect, it is less likely for them to think and accept the Truth as a judgment. Remember, the Word of God will not return void. (Isaiah 55:11)

    If the church would completely shun them away from the sound of the Gospel, then the more they would go to the world to gain approval and “respect.” However, Jesus loves them so dearly just as much as He loves us. He died on their place and on our place on Calvary’s cross as a payment of our sin. More often than not, we, as Christians, are afraid to bring up this topic. All of us are sinners, and it is very important to place much emphasis on WHY we all need Christ. Why would you be drinking your medicine if you don’t know your sick, right? The same logical goes with salvation.

    • “Let them know that in any possible unoffensive manner. ”

      There is really no gay person in American who isn’t aware of what the conservative Christian ethic re: homosexuality is. There is nothing you can say that they haven’t heard before. When you act like you’re saying something revolutionary, it’s insulting to their intelligence.

  • Whenever I have been faced with this subject, I create a mental picture of what I would say to a homosexual, and how I can prove them wrong. I always have the idea that they are my enemy and nothing else. This is just not the case. Like others have said, they are human beings, and face the same problems we do.

    Over the years I have learned that we can’t come to them on their terms, but rather on God’s. We try to shoot them down for what they believe and prove them wrong, yet we are not showing them Christs love. Rather than to discourage and pull them down, you can start the conversation with Christ and what he has done. By doing this you can avoid a harsh exchange of words and maybe even create a friendship. Talk to them and encourage them to meditate on God’s word because you can’t change them, only God can.

  • Thank you so much Christina! Love to here the word preached. I fully agree with you and couldn’t have said it better.

  • So… I’m late, and everyone here has already said good, beefy, informative stuff— so, I’m just gonna answer your question: Show them Christ’s love and compassion like a Follower of Jesus should. Agape love is not partial! It has no boundaries, and that goes with LGBT, racial differences, ect. They don’t wanna be told to leave their sin and turn to Jesus, because that’s not gonna work. You can’t shove God down their throats! Just show them by loving them and seeing the need for Christ that they have. They don’t want to be rejected, they just want to be loved. They need Jesus just as much as the rest of the world and that is AMAZING that you have a heart to minister to them. 🙂

  • The church elders should instruct these would-be helpful teens to reach out homosexuals in the exact same way they reach out to same way they reach out to shellfish eaters and those who wear clothing woven of two kinds of material…

  • I need help my friend recently told me he was gay and I don’t really know what to do so please help me

  • I get your conflict, I do. The thing is we don’t live in a theocracy, nor should you want to live in one if you support the religious freedom ideals of the United States. Religious freedom in the US only exists to the extent it does because we are a pluralistic society. As the United Church of Christ (an LGBT-affirming church) pointed out, forbidding same-sex marriage violates THEIR religious freedom. It’s very possible to support same-sex marriage on a civil/governmental level and oppose it within your church.

    Also, the public bathroom debate is based on a lot of fearmongering equating transgender people with child molesters. Transgender people are being murdered every day for being who they are. Last year was a record year in the number of trans people who were killed. By accepting the rhetoric that people use to deny trans people bathroom access, we are contributing to that culture of fear.

    Not to mention, on a practical level, the bathroom bills are simply unenforceable. There have been numerous reports of non-trans people being harassed simply because they didn’t look like what someone thought a girl should look like.

  • “They were most likely sexually abused at some point or else experienced some sort of extreme pain, heartbreak or abuse in some way or another. ”

    This is NOT true. Those are just the stories that you hear in conservative Christian circles because it’s what fits their narrative. But it by no means describes many gay people I know. Also, even if a gay person has been sexually abused, that in no way means it’s connected to their sexuality, and it comes across as hurtful and invalidating when you dismiss their sexual orientation by implying it has to do with past abuse. Correlation =/= causation. Plenty of straight people have been sexually abused too, so…

rebelling against low expectations

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