ANONYMOUS WRITES: How do you keep natural God-given desires for a romantic relationship someone of the opposite sex at a healthy level? How do you keep from entering the lustful and impatient stage? I know God gave us those desires. I know having feelings for someone is natural and isn’t a sin in and of itself, but I’m not keeping it at the healthy level anymore.
I’m old enough to be in a relationship and married in a year, but sometimes I’m in too much of a rush! I’m not even twenty yet, and sometimes I feel like the right guy will never come along. Then I wonder why I am in so much of a hurry. I want to stay entirely pure until marriage, and I even want to save my first kiss at least until engagement. Sometimes the lustful desire is there to forgo saving my kiss, even though deep down I truly want to save myself.
I often feel discontent and long for a boyfriend/husband. I know deep down that a relationship isn’t what fulfills me, but on the surface I feel like it would. I’ve always wanted to be married young and I’ve always had the desire to be a wife and mom. I know God gave me those desires, and most of the time they have remained healthy desires, but I’m going through a phase where my desires are stronger than ever and often in that lustful state…
Any advice?
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Well, like you said feelings for someone is perfectly normal, when someones constantly in your life of chose you’re going to feel something even if those feelings are only out of friendship, I care about my friends and thus have feelings for them. As for always knowing you wanted to be a wife and mother I can relate that’s always been a dream of mine, pray about it and I mean really pray about it asking God to let this dream of yours to rest peacefully on your heart instead of causing you trouble. Another thing is that if you’re having trouble with lust it may be wise to put aside any and all movies, books, music and anything else that talks about love and getting married as those things may be triggers for you. Focus your heart and mind on God’ Word, maybe memorizing some scriptures would be useful for you. And while it may be awkward for you talk to your mom, believe it or not she may have gone through the same things as you are and just might be able to help you get over this.
I hope this helps!
God bless,
Tatiana
I can relate.
It’s hard. So hard.
Sometimes I’ll read those passages about man cherishing his wife and think “Well I want to be cherished, what abut me?”
But that’s were I have to remember God’s sovereignty. He knows what he’s doing. It’s under control. I know that for me, right now, singleness is good — because God is good. He’s the one doing this.
I don’t really get it, but I don’t have to.
Because if Jesus is who says he is, and he really saves — If the gospel is true, then knowing this God is all that will ever matter. And if I live to get anything but him; to do anything but to celebrate his gospel, if I don’t spend my breath shouting this happy truth so everyone can hear — then I am missing the greatest, most satisfying joy I could even dream of, and I am wasting my life.
This is what I try to remind myself. Live for God and trust him with the specifics.
I like this response. Especially, “And really, if Jesus is who says he is, and if the gospel is true, then knowing this God is all that will ever matter.”
I definitely feel ya on this one. Been struggling with this idea for pretty much all of high school. And I think we can have different reasons for struggling with this, so you’re gonna want to read all these comments if you can to really get a rounded view.
My personal problem though? Trust. I know some amazing girls, honestly hard for me to imagine girls better than these(at least, one that is isn’t divine xD), so it’s a struggle. I can’t believe that God has someone has something better than this for me, and so I’m tempted to break my decision to not date in high school, especially with all my friends dating, and having what look like amazing relationships. But that’s just it, I’m not trusting God that He knows what’s best. I’m looking for answers based on the world’s standard, based on my standard, and we all know that is a horrible idea. If we trust God, then we are willing to wait. He know’s what’s best, and He controls all; so if that girl/guy in your youth group is the one, then God will make that happen when you decide you’re ready for dating/courtship(what ever you want to call it). Till then, we just have to be the amazing person that we are, and focus on what God wants us to be.
I’m still struggling with this, I know the facts in my head, but when my crush smiles at me, logic isn’t necessarily involved… So it’s hard, very hard to do. But if we can learn to trust God in this, then it leads us closer to Him; helping us in so many ways, and also making us better prepared for being in a relationship(seeing as any relationship we’re in should be Christ-centered).
“We’re all in this together, keep your stick on the ice!” As good old Red Green used to say.
Praying!
Hey there! I went through the exact same thing. Please read this carefully, especially the last verse.
It has come to my attention in the past year that many of our fellow Christian young people marry wrongly. Either they marry for the sake of getting married in order not be lonely, or they misunderstand God’s will (perhaps by not seeking it patiently and honestly), or because they don’t care about the will of God. I didn’t write this with any one person or a specific couple in mind, this just came about in response to many reports I’ve heard and I felt compelled that I had to write something about the matter. The prompting didn’t go away, and it seemed good and in line with Scripture, so I commenced prayerfully.
One of the problems we Christian young people have is that we get many problems when we disregard the loving words of our parents. As young people bearing the name “Christian,” just as we would want our children to listen to us one day, it is befitting and biblical for us to “honor our father and mother,” and we have to keep in mind the biblical principle, or the law, of sowing and reaping.
I’ve heard people use all kinds of Scripture out of context as supposed confirmation that it is the Lord’s will that they marry a certain person, and then a couple of months later they have their eye on someone different. It’s repulsive! It’s also very dangerous to tear Bible verses out of context and use them to try to justify our own desires. And, the way we humans are, we trick ourselves because we want to believe something is the truth, and then we end up fully believing
the story we’ve created. I’ve made that mistake before. It’s self-deception, and
deception is the language of the devil. The enemy can even use well-meaning Christian friends or our circumstances to get us off track. “Let us fix our eyes on
Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith,” (Hebrews 12:2a). By the renewing of our minds, we must be careful to discern what His “good, pleasing, and perfect will” is (Romans 12:2) I’m by no means against marriage. Far from it. But I’m wholeheartedly against marrying outside of the will of God. I think few things can be so destructive to a child of God. And I know God Himself is against it too. So I write this letter out of love for my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, because, concerning satan, “we are not unaware of his schemes.” (2 Corinthians 2:11 NIV)
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD
is to be praised.” –Proverbs 31:30 NIV
I think it’s also biblical to state that the charm of men is equally deceptive and their appearances also fleeting. What’s on the inside is what counts, for “The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” –1 Samuel 16:7b NIV
“I would like you to be free from worry. An unmarried man concerns himself with the
Lord’s work, because he is trying to please the Lord. –1 Corinthians 7:32 GNB
“An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.” from 1 Corinthians 7:34 NIV
“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.” –1 Corinthians 15:58 NAS
It’s true that “it is not good for the man to be alone,” (Genesis 2:18) and
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the Lord.” –Proverbs 18:22 NAS
But Proverbs has a lot to say about being stuck with the wrong marriage partner. After salvation and surrendering one’s life to the Lord, I see the issue of who someone marries as the single most important and impactful decision of their life. Therefore I certainly hope they’ll listen to God, and leave the decision with Him. Many Christians’ lives have been completely ruined by marrying wrongly. So, please, guard against marrying just because you have a crush on someone, and because you like them, and you’re trying to manipulate the circumstances in order to get to know them and marry them, and wait rather until the circumstances are arranged by God. (The evil one can orchestrate deceiving circumstances that look good as well—but they’re counterfeit—and how many of us fall into his net?) And so we have to wait until the circumstances are truly God’s, and we must have His peace and assurance about the matter, not the striving and uncertainty of arranging things ourselves.
We should never use the Bible to try to justify our own selfish desires. Ever. Sure; marriage can be a good desire; wanting to complete and be completed in marriage, and raise a godly family—raising children is listed as a “good deed” in 1 Timothy 5:10. All I’m saying is that this must be in God’s timing. God would have us be patient but the devil desires us to be impatient. God is patient; our fleshy desires are impatient. And remember that it is said, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9 KJV). Wait on the LORD; have confident faith in Him that His ways are the best ways and His plans are the best plans for your life. As someone saved and bought by the blood of Christ, your life—and my life—belong to the Lord anyway. It’s not our life. It’s His life. You may have to let go of someone whom you love and want to marry in order to fulfill God’s will for your life. Hudson Taylor did, along with the missionary, Lottie Moon, and George Müller, and hundreds of other Christians who, painful as it was, loved God more than the ones they had wanted to marry and spend their lives with. And many of them found the right spouses—whom it was God’s will that they marry—on the mission field while they were in the active service of Christ (Hudson Taylor, Eric Liddell, George Müller). I assure you that when you’re in Heaven, you’ll never regret that you chose to FULLY obey the will of God, not settling for anything less. Remember that this life is awfully short compared to our eternal life, and we’d be fools to exchange everlasting rewards there for things that we think will make us happy here.
I may be ‘single’ in the sense of being unmarried, but I’m by no means solitary and alone. Outside of my family and friends (my family in Christ) I have Christ Himself! I have God, Who is the best friend anyone could ever ask for, and He redeemed me by the blood of Christ who made reconciliation for me with His death and resurrection. In 2 Samuel 1:26b, as David said of Jonathan, so I can say of my Lord: “Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.” (No offense, women—and God’s love is better and more pure than that of any man; God is perfect, and He loves you with a perfect love.) Imagine someone who always understands you, always has your best interest at heart, always loves you, never mocks you, and never forsakes you. That Someone is not a myth nor a figment of the imagination, but rather the reality of the God we serve; our Lord, Creator, Master and Sustainer! That’s the God of the Bible and His relationship with His Christian Church, the very blueprint of how a marriage ought to be. Christ is the Husband of His Church.
So, all we have to do, is remain patiently in God’s will, sensitive to His Spirit, and actively doing the things that He’s already revealed to us through the Scriptures that we’re supposed to be doing:
“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” –1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV
And that’s not all; there are many other things we born-again Christians are supposed to be busy with, like spreading the Gospel:
“I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ.” –Philemon 1:6 NIV
And we’re supposed to, by the power of the Holy Spirit, live God-honoring lives, filled with the fruit of the Holy Spirit, and be busy carrying out good works to the glory of God. Do you know what is absent from all the lists of good things we’re supposed to spend our time on? Actively looking for a spouse. I call it “wife-seekering,” or “being your own matchmaker.” You can read 1 Corinthians
7 to get the fuller context—and the Bible makes it clear that it’s not a sin to marry—but Paul, writing to the church of God in Corinth (situated in a very immoral city—The United States and South Africa are very immoral at the moment) wrote to them in 1 Corinthians 7:27-28a “Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned.” That is the message and purpose of my writing this; that we, instead of marrying the wrong one prematurely, wait instead for God’s chosen marriage candidate. I can’t promise you a spouse from God. But I can tell you with certainty that God’s will for you—and His timing—are best.
After reading all this, some of you may wonder if I personally ever want to get married in the future. And the answer is, “Of course I do.” Am I willing to die for Jesus Christ, if that’s God’s will for my life, before ever getting married? Not answered lightly; I say, “Yes.” And I don’t have any anxiety about this question of getting married whatsoever, and here’s the wonderful reason why:
“The sweetest part … is the rest which full identification with Christ brings. I am no longer anxious about anything, as I realize this; for He, I know, is able to carry out His will, and His will is mine. It makes no matter where He places me, or how.” –Hudson Taylor, who also said,
“God gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.”
1-Corinthians-13-love protects, and I hope and pray that all of you are protected from winding up in a marriage relationship outside of the will of God, but I know that some of you will fall, that is, if you do not wholly and solely depend upon the One “Who is able to make you stand.” (Romans 14:4)
“If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.” –Isaiah 7:9b NIV
“The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.” –1 John 2:17 NAS
I understand the struggle you are having. The battle with the flesh is ongoing. We seem to be like Paul doing what we not ought to do and not doing what we ought. It is all for us to learn how to submit every part of our lives to God. Your feelings are good desiring marriage and a family. It is when it strays into sinful behavior such as lust, that unless stopped, could be deadly for your life.
David was a prime example of putting himself in a position of being tempted. He suffered devastating loss in every area of his life as a result of his adultery. This should be a lesson for anyone being tempted in the area of sexual immorality. We choose to let our thoughts go where they go.
James 1:13-15, 21-25 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.
David obviously learned his lesson as Psalm 119 shows his awareness of his sinfulness and his renewed desire to not sin and to love all of God’s commands. He writes in Psalm 119:11-16 I have stored up your word in my heart,that I might not sin against you. Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statutes! With my lips I declare all the rules of your mouth. In the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches. I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways. I will delight in your statutes; I
will not forget your word. He realized where he had erred and the problem lay in an unprepared heart.
The Word of God has been given to us in our defense against Satan and that takes repentance, turning from our wicked ways and reading and absorbing the Word. We are defenseless with temptation when only the Word of God can destroy it. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,
My very content and single 35 year old daughter decided at a young age to submit her whole life and will to God’s. The scripture that she applied to her life in dealing with marriage was Song of Solomon 2:7 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. Since her heart was totally focused on glorifying Him, she believes that until that time, any desires that she may have goes up on a shelf until God decides to take it down. She has had multiple proposals, but God has always kept her heart still. She lives a very fulfilled life that only God could have orchestrated–way beyond her dreams, yet marriage has not been part of it.
Young people are living in such a sexually immoral society that it seems impossible to stay pure in your thoughts, words and actions. But God is faithful. Purpose to avoid anything that might cause temptation. You might have to change friends and certain activities to attain this, but as believers, we must stand for good. There will be areas of your life that you will not be able to walk away from and that is where prayer to God to deafen your ears and blind your eyes to things that might cause temptation comes into use. Also, the more Word you have stored in your heart, the more you will be able to overcome the temptation. God has given us a way out. In 1 Corinthians 10:13-14 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.
Don’t give up. God is looking for a perfected bride with their oil lamps full on his return. God bless your desire to do right.
In Him,
Mrs. Jean
James 1:21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.
Thanks, Mrs. Jean. This was very helpful.
Trent still exists!
Whooooaaa Trent Blake?
Yes I see your picture, and you up voted me so it’s probably you. Haven’t seen you around in forever, bro! How’ve you been? How’s the blog?
Hi Amanda,
Yes, it’s me. It has been a long time, for sure.
I’ve been doing very well. God has been working wonders in my life. Sometimes it’s encouraging, and other times it’s difficult. But because of it all, I really do feel closer to Jesus. I’ve dealt with some pretty intense issues in the last year that’s caused me to have to choose faith over lies – I kind of think that’s the reason for it all.
God is really amazing, even when the plan He lays out for us is really confusing!
The blog actually crashed about six months ago, because of some hosting issues. At first I was disappointed, but since then I’ve been writing more on my own, in seclusion. I’m hoping to publish this book I’ve been working on before I graduate high school next year. I would be elated if you would like to pray for me there.
How are you?
It is amazing how God works through difficult situations.
That is disappointing about the blog, but so exciting about your book!! I will definitely pray for you in that process. I’m trying to write a book too, but I’m in the very beginning stages.
I’m doing well, thanks 🙂
Hi there Anonymous:) My heart breaks for you as I read this. I’m sorry that this is so rough for you and being single when you see so many people around you getting married/being in romantic relationships must be so difficult to see:) It makes you wonder whether God will ever answer your prayers to send a wonderful man in your life. Hey, that’s totally normal, but still painful I’m sure.
I don’t have the greatest advice because I’m only 16, but I’ve thought long and hard about it as I continue to get up there in terms of age:)
I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter where I am in life, He is still good. Through singleness and marriage, He will never abandon me. Through sickness and in health and through poverty and in riches. He is there, and no husband, boyfriend or romantic relationship can ever fill that place. Making God first is incredibly hard in both the single and marriage life.
Anonymous, I say this with love and as an encouragement that no man can ever fulfill you, make you whole or take away your loneliness. I’m not here to say that saying a prayer to God or reading your Bible everyday will heal you of your loneliness. It’s a journey, a long process of learning and believing that our Father is Jehovah Jireh that will provide and fulfill us, our good and faithful Shepherd that will see us through all the trials.
You are already whole in Christ. You don’t need to be made whole as a married woman:) Your identity is found in the blood of Christ’s redemption on your behalf. It’s so hard!! In fact it may be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. And please don’t think I’m trying to diminish this loneliness that you must feel inside.
I’m praying for you as you continue to struggle with this:)
I feel your pain. I’ve struggled with this, and what makes it worse is I have people who are very close to me saying, “Why aren’t you in a relationship?”
Here’s the best advice I’ve ever heard:
Take one night a week where you spend your entire evening with God. Journal, pray, read the Bible, sing, whatever. Just make sure it’s you and Him. (this is in addition to your daily devotions :)) Do this for at least six months. You might just find the desire to have a guy, diminishing.
I recommend the book “When God Write Your Love Story” By Eric and Leslie Ludy and “Set Apart Femininity” by Leslie Ludy.
I would also recommend getting out and serving actively in your community. Sometimes having too much time on our hands can lead to day dreaming and unhealthy thoughts, so if you’re too busy to daydream, that might be helpful! 🙂 I hope this helps, Anonymous! I’ll be praying for you!
This is where you could pray to god so you can FIND the guy you will spend your life with. HOWEVER. Some people at that age are mature enough to back it up, so you need to go into gods word daily and pray about it. a good passage about what a lustful heart can do to you I Kings 1: but king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites:
2 Of the nations concerning which the Lord said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love.
3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart.
4 For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father.
Im not saying that you would be like Solomon and turn away, but if your lust takes over, you could get with the wrong guy.
Pray about it, see what god has in store for you
I don’t personally know you so this may be the wrong approach but I know it’s been a help to me in the past, not just in regards to relationships but other aspects of life as well.
My advice to you would be to plead with God to make you completely satisfied in Him, to overwhelm you with a greater knowledge of Himself. It sounds overly simplistic – but I assure you that wrestling with God in prayer for satisfaction in Him is the hardest most wonderful thing you will ever do. It’s hard because we don’t always see that He is infinitely better than whatever our earthly desires are – but ask Him to show you that He is.
I know so many young people obsessed with finding and preparing for a spouse – and don’t get me wrong, its important and good to think about and prepare for the second most important relationship of your life. But, I think we so often don’t realize that our future marital relationship will always be lacking if Christ is not the center of our hearts and desires. Be obsessed with God before you are obsessed with anything else.
Btw this is not a one-time battle, being abundantly satisfied in God is a lifelong race that none of us will do perfectly-myself the least. Also don’t be discouraged by the desire for a spouse-it’s a “very good” thing! Don’t give up your battle for purity – I was encouraged by “Before You Meet Prince Charming” by Sarah Mally. Also it’s helpful to surround yourself with people who have been through what you’re going through and be encouraged by them. Don’t be discouraged – fight the good fight!
Don’t be discouraged! God has the right person lined up for you, no doubt. I too dream about future relationships, but I also remind myself that relationships aren’t all easy. They are difficult to navigate, and there’s never harm in waiting. After all, single life is pretty awesome too!
I’m still only quite young (in high school) but the last couple of years many of my friends have been in a relationship and kissed guys and all that but I want to save myself for the right person. I guess how I sort of think of it is that if its not meant to be its not going to happen. But the most important thing I’ve learnt in terms of relationships is that maybe someone doesn’t work because if you continue to have a relationship with them you might never actually meet the “man of dreams”. I’m sure if you just sit back and put your faith in God and stop overthinking about if you’re going to be able to find a guy in time something might start to happen. I’ve always found that whenever I give up and hand it over to God it happens, or something better than what I wanted/expected happens 😀 Hope this helps! And I’m sure you’ll find the perfect guy, in God’s timing xx
Yep I’ve been there! I broke up with a guy after 3 1/2 yrs of dating, who I (and everyone else) was sure I’d get married to! In my early 20’s I get the feeling of watching all my friends get married and start that life, but the past 2 years of learning to see a future in my singleness I’ve learned a few things from the wise, and from this personal journey:
1. Women are made strong. As “dependent” as we feel like we’re supposed to be, it is SO important for your future man to have a woman who doesn’t NEED him when you start dating. It’ll make things really hard!
2. Get this mindset in your head, as it’s often very true: God lots of the time won’t bring your mate along until you have stopped looking! I started to pretend that God was literally waiting until I truly enjoyed being single…So I started getting used to the idea of living single the next 10 years, and now that I enjoy it so much I actually am more inclined to stay single than to get in a relationship – I never thought I’d get there!
3. Single life = soo productive! You might not like to hear it, so don’t listen if you don’t want to hah.. But it’s so true. I see my friends who are dating and they don’t have time to spend with new Christians in our church b/c they need to invest time in that relationship. I remember all the time I spent with my old boyfriend, and I also sadly remember all the young people who passed through our church I “didn’t have the time to get to know”. Sad. So, ask God to show you how you can make the most of being single, since so few people are in that position. God so uses relationships too, but for you, and for now, focus on purpose of being single.
4. If you can’t get your mind off relationships, read really good dating books, like “Boy Meets Girl” by Josh Harris. Get to know the life of relationship before going into it, there’s so much wisdom to glean before anything happens!
5. If you don’t enjoy life now, you won’t enjoy life involved deeply with somebody else who has hardships too. As T.D. Jakes suggests: Date yourself! Spend time “with” yourself, see what you are like to “date”. Are you negative and bringing yourself down? Or are you a person you like to be around, who’s full of new, fun, exciting things? Hopefully doing this is as enlightening to you as it was me!
6. Date Jesus! Think about the fun things you wish you could do with a guy and do them with Jesus – I personally love sitting in my car with worship music and a yummy warm beverage, a journal and Bible and just getting to know Jesus. Billy Graham once said, looking back on his life he wished he spent more alone time with God, even above all the evangelizing he did! Your God time is basically like a 1000 times payback investment, and he’s so worth your time.
7. Having a hard time with lust? Keep on top of your thought life, and watch what you’re watching !! I can’t watch people even kiss in a movie, because it makes my mind go to a place of longing. Lots of the time I can’t even watch a movie by myself, because afterward I find myself longing for relationship. I have to be so careful not to let myself look at guys too long or dream at all about them. Ask God to help you in this, because I can testify that I do not long for relationship and don’t feel that pain now that I’m running from any temptation.
I could go on forever, but I hope that little bit helps somebody! I’ve been there, but know that IT IS POSSIBLE TO LIVE SINGLE AND NOT LONG FOR RELATIONSHIP! I’m only 22 and all my friends are in relationships, except for one guy who I long for but he doesn’t like me haha. And I can say that I’m so much more satisfied now that if I was in a relationship with him, because I know he’s not the one. You can learn to love to be single if you put the efforts you’d spend on a guy into your relationship with God!