rebelling against low expectations

How can a leader overcome discouragement?


DANIEL WRITES: How does a leader change the reality of discouragement of the youth of his church?

Recently, I was talking with a friend about the youth of his church. He is one of the leaders of the youth of his church. What he should do about the discouragement of them? They need to change this reality.

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  • I think that the first thing to do is to pray about your discouragement. I’m no leader, but when I get discouraged, especially when I fail in the things God has given me to be responsible of, I try to think of it as when I fail, it’s God’s way of trying to teach me something. Whether it is to have patience, or to keep moving forward, or to not dwell in the past, etc. Discouragement is the same whether your a leader, a kid, or a teenager. This is just something I do to try to overcome my discouragement, with God’s help. =)

  • This is happening in my youth group! I don’t have any better answer than to do what I’ve tried to do, love everyone you come in contact with, an don’t be afraid to chase after God in a room of standstill people. Inspire them! Don’t let their discouragement get you down but be encouraged that God has placed you there for such a time a this!

    • “don’t be afraid to chase after God in a room of standstill people.” I love this so much! This is how Christians should lived unashamed.

  • I deal with discouragement in my own life quite often, in different way . Right now it’s confusion and disorientation that’s discouraging me right now.

    But the best way for me to overcome that is to:
    1) Pray
    2) Surrender the situation to God
    3) Fake it until you make it.

    When I say that I mean look happy and encourage others as much as possible. Over time it becomes natural and you start to feel that positive attitude. It’s one reason why some marriage counselors ask struggling couples to go through the motions of loving actions until they start to feel that love for each other.

    It takes time but it’s worth it! 😀

    • I am so glad that you are taking this to God in prayer and surrendering the siituation to Him. He knows why you are going through this and He is preparing you for greater things!
      I have one comment though that I would like to make if you’ll hear me out. I don’t believe God ever wants you to fake. He has given you life and life to the full not so that you can go through the motions, but really live a full life of love and inspire those around you! I think what you mean by your comment is not to act like you feel.
      There are times when I DO NOT feel like worshipping, I feel discouraged and alone. But my feelings do not define truth. I don’t have to listen to them, but tell myself the truth, and then LIVE OUT THE TRUTH.
      I am CONFIDENT
      I am FAITHFUL
      I am in LOVE with Jesus!
      Even when I don’t feel it, or feel totally opposite.
      So whenever you feel discouraged, speak the truth over yourself and LIVE IT OUT.
      That is what changes lives.

      • Hey Madison yes I agree & there are many verses that can help us focus on that
        Digging into God’s Word is the best way to be encouraged

        But let all those that put their trust in You REJOICE:
        let them ever shout for JOY,
        because You defend them:
        let them also that love Your Name be JOYFUL in You.
        ~ Psalm 5:11

        I WILL greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul
        SHALL be joyful in my God;
        ….~ Isaiah 61:10

        There are many more verses to remind us of the work God is doing & that We are not alone in our task to share Jesus
        His Spirit will speak to those who listen to His voice (through
        faithful servants like the currently discouraged youth leader)
        May Christ continue to be your source of Wisdom

  • What do you mean by discouragement? Like negativity or lack of interest/excitement about the Gospel? For both, one word, pray.

    For negativity,try to think positively and when others are being negative show them the positive side. If you find yourself being negative, try to find two positive pluses for every negative.

    Then lack of interest/excitement…if this is what you see then you and me are in the same boat. Most are church kids who have had the Gospel thrown at our ears so many times that is has lost it’s sound. I was talking to my mom and asking her, what happens and what can u do when when salt loses it’s saltiness and light does not accept fuel to continue burning? That is what I see among my peers. To be honest, I don’t have any answer to that question. All I can do is pray, try to share my excitement for the gospel with others around and let God work the rest out.

  • I’m no leader, but when I get discouraged, I try to remember maybe this is God’s way of showing me something I would’ve never saw if I wasn’t discouraged. Especially if I did something wrong and I feel like a failure. I try to see if God’s trying to teach me something through the discouragement.

    We can’t change the discouraged, but we can be an influence to them, whether you’re a leader or not. Encourage them through Bible verses. Share with them what you did with your discouragement. And last but not least, pray. PRAY for them that they can see that they can be encouraged through Christ. =)

  • I’m also wondering what kind of discouragement you’re talking about exactly…? I’m just gonna throw a few thoughts out here and hope they are applicable… =) One thing I think someone can do to help youth discouragement (depending on why they are discouraged of course) is come up with activities or challenges (something to REALLY get people involved) that make them excited! Even if it’s just an object lesson game where there is interaction on the part of the youth! I think that just helps get someone excited!!!
    If you present fun challenges or do these interactive activities, you may have people that come or participate for the wrong reason, but you can PRAY that God would change their hearts and help them to begin doing things for the right reason!!!
    If they are discouraged about the difference they are making for Christ or about sharing the gospel, just remind them that truly NOTHING THEY can do can change a heart, person, country, etc….It’s ONLY God!!
    If they are doing the right thing, sharing the gospel where they can, standing firm in their faith in all circumstances, THAT is what they will be rewarded for!!! NOT the heart changes in other people….because truthfully, we have no control over their decisions! GOd may use us YES! but it’s ultimately God who does the heart changing like @Shadeslayer52898:disqus said!
    If the discouragement is in some other area inapplicable to what I’ve mentioned then one thing I do know, is that spending more time talking to God, growing closer to Him, and reading is word is some of the best encouragement out there!! =) I hope I’ve been able to be at least somewhat helpful!

  • This is a multiple layer problem that I have been seeing for at least a couple of decades. Kids are apathetic about life. They have lived in the best of times and worst of times. Many churches have been responsible for feeding kids entertainment instead of biblical teaching that promotes maturity and growth. But one of the key factors is the youth’s lifestyle. Not many come from truly righteous homes who honor Christ in all things. The kids see that God isn’t at the forefront in their homes so they don’t live in true reality. I place this responsibility at the parents’ feet. No matter how hard a youth leader works, it is what is going on at home that is going to impact these kids lives. There is an occasional exception, but it is exceptional. These kids have seen it all, some have it all, but their lives are empty. Youth leaders need to live by example, love these kids, and pray that the Holy Spirit might enter their lives and their parents lives. I worked with youth for years and watched the decline of biblical standards decline. It has been devastating.

    I pray the best for your friend. It is a huge battle and only one that The Lord can win.

    In Him,

    • well said. My youth pastor has really connected with me and helped me grow in faith. If you have a really good youth pastor then talk to him/her about your problems.

      • Hi Jeremy,

        I am blessed to know that your Pastor cares for you. Treasure him.
        May God abundantly bless you with His Presence.

        In Him,

  • Offering the reality of Jesus compared to the but-a-moment of this world
    As so many below have commented
    Seeking it
    Living it
    Doing it
    TRUSTING God for it
    & How you do this is
    Read His Word,
    walk in Obedience &
    Trust that the Holy Spirit will be at work
    It is battle and only one that The Lord can win.
    But we are privileged to be a part of it 🙂

  • By sticking to Gods word and not what other people say. If what other people say disagrees with what God says then what they are telling you is a plain lie. But also be careful to not take what they say always as discouraging (especially if it comes from a christian more mature and experienced than you) because sometimes we tend to take what we dont like as something negative or as a discouragement when maybe that person is actually helping us. There are things we dont want to hear but we need to hear anyways so just be careful with that. Thats what I think. 🙂

  • I think that the biggest things that kept me encouraged in my walk was 1.) the fact that our youth pastor was AMAZING at helping us find opportunities to serve our church and our community using our gifts and 2.) that our youth group was an environment in which it was safe to ask hard questions. I was able to really dig deep into God’s word and then live it out in a practical way. Just food for thought.

  • This summer I attended a Christian Leadership camp called Worldview Academy (, which I encourage all teenagers to go to learn about worldviews, religions, evangelism, servant leadership, and Christ and culture. Even though it was my third year, I finally grasped what they were lecturing on servant leadership. Mostly, it was because the guy who created all the lectures on servant leadership was in this year’s faculty rotation. Here are some things I learned about servant leadership.

    First, leadership is influence. Don’t believe me? Lay in the middle of the floor of your living room while everyone is home. You’ll find yourself either be told to move or get kicked out of the way. You see, that is the first way you influence – by merely existing and taking up space.

    Second, influence is power. Because of this, Hitler, Jesus, Corrie Ten Boom, President Obama, Margaret Sanger, Pope Francis, and Kim Jong-un, can all be great leaders. So you can either lead for the better or the worse. Good ideas have good consequences and bad ideas have bad consequences. In the same way, good
    actions have good consequences and bad actions have bad consequences

    Lastly, there are several roadblocks to leadership. They can all be placed into three categories: Fear of…, lack of…, and tendency to be…. You are facing the roadblock of discouragement. This would most likely fit into the “fear of…” category.

    Here are some problems and solutions. (I will offer several, because I don’t know the details of the situation.)

    1. Maybe you are actually discouraging others in the way you are leading, so they aren’t responding in your desired way. So then, it’s you who needs a reality check.

    2. Maybe, you are doing everything right. Well, look to Jesus as your example. Whenever He led and the disciples didn’t follow, obey, and/or have faith, did Jesus get discouraged? No, he rebuked them and continued forward. So keep doing what you’re doing while praying for God to move.
    I failed to mention this, but Christians have a supernatural ability to be leaders. Read and study 1 Corinthians 12:27-31. Notice that two gifts are left out of Paul’s list of rhetorical questions: Help and administration. Help could be translated as service and administration as leadership. So Christians are born leaders. Therefore, if you are leading according to God’s word, will, and power, you’re on the right track.
    I hope all of this makes sense and is useful. It surely is to me. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.

      • Sorry, I am one of those comprehensive, extremely detailed people. I love talking and writing about things, and sometimes I can get a little carried away. I hope what you read encouraged you.

        • That’s ok. I can be long-winded sometimes too, but I can also be short, and to the point. I do both, it just depends. I’m a pretty detailed person too!! Sounds like we have something in common. 😉

  • Great question. I guess I’d say that the leader should keep in focus why they are leading and the importance of their leadership position. Not actually sure how to answer this question, but that’s the thought I had.

rebelling against low expectations

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