rebelling against low expectations

3 Reasons We’re Afraid To Open Our Hearts To God

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What do you do when someone knocks at your door?

Jesus is knocking at the door of our hearts. He desires us to open up and let Him have full access to every area of our lives. He has made a way for us to have a relationship with God through His death and resurrection on the cross. But, it is our responsibility to respond to His call for fellowship.

He says, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” (Rev. 3:20)

Yet though we hear His voice, sometimes we don’t want to open up. Here’s a few reasons why:

1: Fear.

We are afraid to be vulnerable with God. We see our flaws and shortcomings, and even though we believe God loves us, it can be hard to act upon that belief when it comes down to it. I believe that the main reason we doubt God and are afraid of Him is a misunderstanding of His character.

I’ve personally struggled with this, and had an experience that brought this fear in my heart to the surface.

To understand though, you need to understand my background. I was born 14 weeks premature and weighed 1 lb 13 oz. I am totally blind in my right eye, and have only limited vision in my left eye. When I am in unfamiliar places, I often use a cane to help me navigate.

So when my family all went to a Christian musical a few months ago, I had my cane with me. My parents and I were walking out of the building, when suddenly the man who played Jesus in the performance approached me out of nowhere.

Now, this guy was well over six feet tall, and he had the full get-up–white robe, beard and everything. I was startled because I didn’t see him coming and before I knew it, he was asking me if he could pray for me. Caught off-guard, I quickly said yes.

I was certainly not expecting the events that followed.

I had my cane in my hand, so the man knew I had some sort of vision loss. He laid hands on my eyes, and began to pray that I would be healed of my visual impairment. At that point, I felt so uncomfortable and awkward, but I said to God in my heart that if it was His will to heal me, I believe His power could work through this man to do so. The man prayed in a way that I was not used to, saying in a loud voice, “Optic nerves be healed! “Retinas be healed!” “Eyes be opened in Jesus Name!” and so on, mentioning other parts of the eye. I was still in shock that all of this was happening in public, and by now, a crowd of people gathered around to watch the scene unfold.

After finishing his prayer, he took his hands off of my eyes and asked me if I could see now. I responded by saying that there was no difference and that my vision was the same.

He again placed his hands on my eyes and prayed a second time. Now, at this point, I’m hoping this spectacle won’t last any longer–but part of me was still open to God doing something miraculous. Again, the man asked me if I could see, and I responded by stating that there was again no change to my vision. He then prayed for a third time, but thankfully, he this time prayed about other more comfortable topics and encouraged me to keep seeking the Lord.

I spent the next several months grieving this experience in prayer. I was not upset every day, but at times there would be circumstances that would trigger my emotions and so the deepening of my confession to God continued.

I vividly remember one Friday night in January, where I was on the floor crying very intensely. I’m talking about the kind of crying where you pour all of your heart out with no reserves, regardless of how painful it is.

We Fear Jesus Revealing Our True Wounds

Now, let me shed light as to why this situation hurt so bad. I am in public, and a stranger dressed like Jesus suddenly approaches me. Shock. He then proceeds to lay hands on me and not only touches my eyes, but in doing so touches the one wound in my heart that I do not want to be exposed, and certainly not by a stranger. He prays for me in an unfamiliar way, making these words echo in my head even louder even though I try to escape them.

Fear. Shame. Insecurity. Anxiety. Brokenness. Pain.

Those are the emotions and thoughts I wrestled with for months on end. It was hard to not associate the real Jesus with the feelings that came from my experience with a man dressed like Him. I wondered what true healing was because it seemed like my heart needed healing more than my eyes did.

You may never have a man dressed like Jesus lay hands on you and pray for your healing, but there are places in all of our hearts that only the real Jesus can heal. He makes all things to work together for good. We may only be able to recognize some of that, but we can trust in His faithful promises and character. It may not feel good, but He is still good. His perfect love is what makes true healing possible.

Through all of this wrestling, I have gained a greater passion for knowing who Jesus really is.

Jesus is holy, loving, kind, all-knowing, all-powerful and true.

He is our Redeemer, Comforter, Healer, Peace, Hope and so much more.

1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears is not been perfected in love.”

God not only has love, but He is love. His perfect love casts out all fear. To alleviate any fear or doubt you may have of God, seek Him through prayer and His word. He is who He says He is. Therefore, you are who He says you are.

2: Pride.

Giving the Lord our whole heart requires surrender and submission to Him. We are called to be in this world, but not of it. We are called to not conform to the pattern of this world.

We cannot seek the things that the world prioritizes and at the same time, seek God. There is a cost for knowing Jesus. Everyone may not like you. People will insult you for not following society’s ever-changing trends.

But if you do not fit in with the world, you are right where you need to be.

We cannot serve two masters. Either we will hate the one and love the other, or we will be devoted to the one and despise the other. We must be all in.

Jesus says in Luke 9:23-25, “…If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?”

If we live with an eternal perspective, we will see that any rejection we face in this world for the sake of the gospel will be richly rewarded in heaven. We are here for a higher purpose than to fit in with society. The blood of Jesus has enabled us to live as sons and daughters of God.

3: Commitment.

Relationships take commitment and investment. We must be diligent in seeking God first and making Him the center of our lives instead of limiting Him to just church on Sunday.

God says in Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart,” and James 4:8 says to “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you…”

God will be faithful to reveal Himself to us when we seek Him.

He will continue to knock, but it is up to us to open the door. I have seen this to be the case in my own life. I heard God speak to me for the first time when I diligently began to pursue Him.

I encourage you to let Jesus into every area of your heart. When you give Him your whole heart, He will make your heart whole. He will restore what is broken and will provide you with steadfast peace, radiant joy and unshakable hope.When you give Him your whole heart, He will make your heart whole. Click To Tweet


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About the author

Marisa D'Amore

Marisa D'Amore is a high school senior that loves the Lord, writing and sharing God's word through public speaking. She was born fourteen weeks premature and spent six months in the NICU. She developed a disease called Retinopathy of Prematurity (ROP), which caused her to be visually impaired. She is a fluent Braille reader/writer and has participated in a variety of activities and sports including dance, swim, gymnastics, track, choir and marching band.

rebelling against low expectations

The Rebelution is a teenage rebellion against low expectations—a worldwide campaign to reject apathy, embrace responsibility, and do hard things. Learn More →

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