rebelling against low expectations
Journal Entry: November 22nd, 2021. Today is my birthday. It’s been two years since my dad lost his job. Two years since my world turned upside-down and my family began the desperate search for a place to live and had no income but EI and the kindness of friends. Two years since that lost seventeen-year-old girl was stripped of every sense of security because a church chose not to act like the...
Every now and then I am overwhelmed with the feeling of dissatisfaction. I’m sure you’ve felt it too. That overwhelming feeling that nothing fulfills. Where nothing brings you joy, nothing soaks you with purpose. You realize that you aren’t kept awake and wide eyed on Christmas Eve anymore. Maybe you don’t get as excited about the first snow. Maybe it goes deeper than that slow loss of childlike...
Ashamed. Unlovable. Damaged. Have you ever felt this way? Like you’re just too flawed or make too many mistakes to be loved? We all long for love and we look for it in so many different places – parents, friends, and significant others. But somehow, all of those people fall short. They disappoint us and fail us. Their love isn’t always as unconditional as they claim. They never fill our...
It’s February. I always feel a little down in February. Why? Because it’s “the month of love” and I’m single. The subtle feeling I have all year suddenly becomes more prominent in my mind. That feeling is longing. Ever since I was a little girl watching Disney movies, I’ve waited for my prince (or in the case of Aladdin and Tangled, my thief) to rescue me and carry me off into the sunset. It may...
“Who am I?” I ask and look around feeling lost, purposeless, and out of place. “I mean, who am I really?” I’m the pastor’s daughter. I’m an artist. I’m a writer. I’m a homeschool graduate. You can fill those things in with anything you want. I’m so and so’s girlfriend. I’m the captain of the football team. I’m the one with good grades. I’m so and so’s best friend. The list could go on and...
You sit surrounded by people, yet you feel alone. Each person talks to someone else. Each one seems to feel completely at home with those around them. You get a few glances, maybe even a few smiles, but there’s no doubting you feel like an outsider. You feel small. You feel invisible. Even if you’re conversing with someone, perhaps one you may even call a friend, you wonder if they’re really...
Since I was small, I have loved poetry. The way it doesn’t just tell you something but helps you to see and feel it too. I’ve tried my hand at poetry many times, one such occasion was last Christmas. If there’s any time of year that lends itself to poetry, it’s Christmas. I sat on the sofa, staring at the tree, my pen poised above the paper. Half an hour later these stanzas looked at me from the...
There is a plague sweeping our culture today. A plague that brings thousands to their knees. It’s taking hold of more teens and young adults than we know, and it is devastating. If you don’t suffer from it, you may not see it as a plague at all, but it is. And it has a name: Anxiety. I assure you, you know people who battle it every day. Some of you may say, “Everyone feels anxious sometimes...
A man stands at the edge of a gorge. Human bones litter the valley floor. Dry bones bleached white from many days exposed to scorching sun. As his eyes took in the sight before him, he felt sick by such death. As he looked on, a hand fell on his shoulder before despair took hold of his heart. He looked up at his Companion; the One who led him to this valley of death. “Son of man,” his Companion...
You’ve been bent, bruised, and broken. You’ve stood firm, you’ve cried, you’ve grieved. You’ve gone from hopeless to hopeful all on calloused, bloody knees. Now you stand on a summit, watching the sun kiss the sky with golden rays, as the tears on your cheeks dry in the light of brighter days. Green seedlings sprout in the ashes at your feet, as a rainbow graces the sky through what’s left of the...
rebelling against low expectations
