rebelling against low expectations
Christmas has always been the highest on my list of favorite holidays. It’s a magical time of year. The glowing lights, gift wrapping, shopping, classic movies, hot chocolate, cozy winter pajamas, family traditions, and special baking leave a sense of ready cheer and lightheartedness that is hard to “muster up” at other times of the year. These aspects of Christmas are nice; however, I began...
Some holidays come with baggage. As they approach, dread can build. Such is the case with me when Father’s Day arrives in June. There’s this awkwardness of picking out a card that expresses truthfully how you view your dad. What if he hasn’t been “The World’s Greatest Dad”? How does one even celebrate with a genuine heart that has been hit hard with fatherhood...
On April 24th it dawned on me—I was already halfway through my 25th year. Time slips by all too lightning fast. I felt the ache of wishing my life were different, the pressure to “catch up” with cultural expectations of where everyone my age should typically be. Where was I really? No boyfriend or husband. No college degree. No babies. Yet, I have traces of those things. I’m currently using a...
I’ve grappled with anxiety for about seven years now. The root of this stressful struggle was triggered by traumatic life circumstances. At times it depletes and drains my soul of all strength. I’m beyond grateful that I reached out for help four years ago, saw a licensed counselor, and sought other avenues of healing. I remember the car ride to my first counseling appointment—I was...
As Valentine’s Day approached one year, God moved my heart. I desired a boyfriend and romance—what I got instead was a taste of eternal, everlasting love. Halfway around the world in the African country of Uganda, there were imprisoned children who needed hope and a ministry called Sixty Feet with a heart to serve them. This birthed a project called, “The Valentine Card...
One windy, chilly night in November as my dad worked on our cars in the driveway, we reminisced about Christmas memories. I talked fondly about three things I loved as a child: Fresh Christmas trees, cutting sugar cookies into festive shapes, then baking and decorating them with red and green sugar crystals, plus a cake to celebrate Jesus’ birthday complete with candles, if I remember right. My...
On August 8th, 2021, around nine in the evening, I received the call I had been dreading. My mom’s voice was shaky and quiet at the other end as she broke the news. Mema was gone. Our family had been waiting for her to pass away—we knew the end was near—for eight days. We said our goodbyes during visits to the hospice house where she was staying. My grief is still raw. It hurts to think about her...
Having a legalistic background growing up, I experienced family devotions as being forced and stale. They were a chore. When it came to my own pursuit of God, I struggled then and now to this day. However, there is one habit that has been like a breath of fresh air. Gratitude. Gratitude has been an incredible encouragement to me. It is a practice that matters every day, not just in November for...
Sometimes we go through seasons when doing hard things is invisible to those around us—it’s inward. Perhaps it looks bleak, even. Like a winter with cold, hard ground where growth seems impossible. Yet, gradually, spring comes and earth softens and seeds take root. Growth happens underneath the ground—buried and invisible to the naked eye. I’ve found this to be true because my life hasn’t...
My hopes of having a good holiday season this year weren’t that high. Because COVID has made 2020 stressful, isolating, and hard to navigate, I had my doubts that Christmas would be as enjoyable as other years. I didn’t expect to have a wonderful time because Christmas during a pandemic couldn’t be as special, right? In spite of such a hectic year, I’ve been pleasantly surprised to be savoring...
rebelling against low expectations
