rebelling against low expectations
“You’re the pastor’s daughter, so you probably think you have to do this. It’s, like, your job or something.” This is what I’m told when I share the gospel. When I write pieces about theology and salvation. When I serve in ministries at my church. People, both Christians and non-Christians, assume that because I’m the pastor’s daughter, it must “come naturally” or be “expected of me.” Pastors’...
I have a very distinct memory of waking up on my fourth birthday on an airplane that was taking my family and me to Indonesia. We were leaving behind our home and our friends and our extended family to share the good news of Jesus Christ with a people that had never heard it. In the eleven years we spent there, we didn’t get a house that actually belonged to us until we had lived there for five...
It was my second year of college and I was taking a class on public health. The professor had an interesting idea and asked the class to meditate for a couple of minutes and write about their life-long plans, goals, and desires for the future. I don’t remember what the connection between public health and our plans was, but I followed his instructions anyway. By the end of the time we were given...
Picture this: It’s a Monday afternoon and I’m in my bedroom with my computer open, desperately trying to block out the noisy background so I can focus on my online class. I can hear my brothers fighting over who knows what downstairs. My sister is scream-crying. Someone is stomping up the stairs yelling right outside my bedroom door. I silence my Zoom screen so my classmates can’t hear the chaos...
I was upset. We had always been the family getting compliments, the little kids receiving smiles for our good behavior in the grocery store. Now my little brother was throwing a fit, and my mom was punishing him in public. This time we only received disapproving glances and stares. This was not the kind of attention I liked. Nobody’s perfect, but I thought we were “pretty good.” No family goes...
Being a sibling is hard. I would know. I have nine unique little brothers and sisters that I’m called to love all the time. Sometimes it drives me bonkers! It can be hard to treat our siblings right, especially when we’re teenagers and our emotions are extra sensitive. As a brother or a sister, we know we should love our siblings regardless of how we are feeling, but how should we go about this...
When I hear the word “friends,” I usually feel pangs of hurt inside of me. Many a day I have wept painful and sometimes bitter tears in response to these hurts. I have often felt excluded, rejected, and lonely. I have been excluded because some of my friends already had their own friends, and even when I tried so hard to be there for them, I was rejected. I just wanted to have friends...
My dad is one of my favorite teachers. He taught me all the classic “dad stuff” when I was little. I cringed a little the first time Dad taught me how to bait a hook to catch a fish. He taught me to love football, and thanks to him I can throw a spiral that still scares my brothers. I never shared his intense passion for baseball, but he wouldn’t let me off without teaching me how to throw a good...
Growing up, my father was never physically absent. I never wondered if he would come home at night. But throughout my childhood, he was mentally and spiritually absent. As a child, I felt his absence deeply. I longed for a relationship with him. I lived to please him. When he was home, I followed him around like a puppy dog. I waited desperately for the day he would finally finish all the things...
“You’ll talk to my dad now?” I asked JP, heart pounding, palms sweaty against my sides. “You’re ready?” “Yeah, I’ve been preparing myself for this,” he said softly. A small smile played on his lips, as if he were mustering all his confidence. He had another mountain to climb, another step to claim this relationship as ours. “I knew I’d have to do this sooner or later.” For a split second, the...
rebelling against low expectations
