rebelling against low expectations
I used to be an introvert. When my family walked into church and the pastor told us to “mingle,” dread crawled up my spine. At parties, I sat alone and pretended to be okay with remaining silent. Fear kept me from speaking the first words, and I watched the faces going by, hoping a friend would break away from their cliques to talk to me. I used to be an introvert. In some ways, I still am. But I...
“This might hurt, but I’m just speaking the truth in love.” It’s the quintessential excuse for telling people who constantly get under your nerves everything that’s been festering inside of you for the last three months. This Christian cliche (often referred to as “tough love”) is derived from Paul’s exhortation in his letter to the Ephesians. “To equip the saints for the work of ministry, for...
Have you ever had a friend who seemed to have everything come easily to them? Maybe they were really popular, had a rich family, were the most athletic, or even just the best looking? Maybe they were the smartest in school, or the most promoted at church, or the funniest at parties. Maybe they just always seemed better then you. I know I have. In fact, I’ve had my fair share of experiences on...
I couldn’t believe what I heard. In a room full of women, ranging in age 20-60, the speaker said not just twenty-somethings but also thirty and forty-somethings were not ready to, and therefore shouldn’t, disciple anyone. What they should do, according to this woman, is to seek to be discipled, sitting at the feet of the godliest older woman they can find at their church. As a twenty-something...
The three of us eat lunch surrounded by blue walls and an even bluer sky. Moments before, as I walked my class to the cafeteria, a student asked if she and her friend could talk to me about “something important”. And now I find myself in the center of an elementary school at a red table with two ten-year-olds. Between bites of food, the student (whom I will call Ella) explains what is weighing on...
Everyone has a model to which they compare their lives, a kind of outfit they want to dress themselves in. As children, we had an unselfish kind of admiration. Our heroes, whether real or fictional, did good and left a beautiful difference on the world, so we resolved to do the same. But that was childhood. As we enter the teen years, our simple admiration turns to envy as we compare ourselves to...
“I love her, but it’s not healthy for me to have that kind of negativity in my life. I have to do the right thing for myself.” “Yeah, he apologized, but I don’t think I can trust him the same way anymore.” “Can we really be friends when we don’t agree about something so important?” Proverbs 13:20 cautions, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” We...
We see it all over the internet. “OMG! So cute!” “OMG! I cannot wait!” “OMG! Seriously?!” We picture 13-year-old girls texting friends, pink polished nails, skinny jeans, messy top knots. We think “total millennial!” We roll our eyes and laugh and talk in that annoying voice where everything ends in a question, “OMG?! Like totally?!” We...
“It’s like you’d rather be with your friends instead of your family.” Ouch. When my mom said this to me, I immediately switched into defense mode, ready to justify my actions. But could I? If I was honest, what would I say? Were my friends a greater priority? Would I trade time with my family for time with my friends Did I really turn my brothers away so I could text my friends? Did I ignore my...
“We are not human doings, we are human beings.” Sitting across from three leaders (having years more of life experience which I wanted to honor), I couldn’t help my visceral reaction: I wanted to gag. I know. I know I know I know. People realize that human busyness is an issue and we need to spend more time on soul-care. I’ve heard. I do know this need is valid (very...
rebelling against low expectations
