rebelling against low expectations
It’s almost noon, and today I almost broke down twice. I’m supposed to be happy, filled with joy, but today I can’t do it. I’m utterly broken, filled with that inexplicable sadness, and I don’t want this holiday season to come. Why? Because then I have to be happy–and that’s a foreign concept. I have to set aside my sorrows and somehow find joy. This year I’m not sure that’s something I can...
Tears. I flittered around a bit while considering what I should write about until one topic brought tears to my eyes. And that topic is tears. We look all around us and observe and experience sorrow. Why do we have trials when we pray for blessings? Is God is looking out for our best interests? When will all this suffering end? We all ask these questions when our lives seem to be covered with...
I asked God to break me. Little did I know then what the consequences of that prayer would be. I asked God to break me before Him. To create an environment where He was all that I had and He was all that I needed. I wanted to grow in huge ways in a short amount of time. I wanted to feel the presence of God like never before. Out of the blue, life took its toll and left me alone and hurting. Due...
I’m a happy ending kind of person. My favorite stories end with everyone cheering, quite possibly a dance number, and every bit of the plot tied up in a pretty little bow. Everything turns out right, everyone gets what they wanted (except the villain, of course), and everyone is completely happy. We defeat the evil, all the colors turn brighter, and the boy and girl protagonists smile as they...
Seventeen year old Emma Burkholder is facing a hard thing few teens ever have to face. Emma’s mom, Jennifer Burkholder–who is paralyzed from the waist down due to a car accident when she was 18–has recently been diagnosed with 2 types of breast cancer. This is obviously both a major emotional and financial toll on the family and in an effort to help out, Emma has chosen to...
Often the best things come the hardest. The most worthwhile things come at the greatest cost. And what we need most is what we want least in the moment. But God knows best. And he surely knew what he was doing this February when he decided to do some heart renovation on me! Through friends and quiet time with him, he revealed some uncomfortable things about myself—things that were incredibly...
Have you ever gone through a difficult situation and asked yourself, “Why is God allowing this?” Teens go through hard times. Sometimes the tests–hard classes, losing close friends, and the death of a loved one–can seem like too much. Often, we wonder if we can even make it through, or if there is any point to all the pain. Why is God letting us go through this? What is...
Changes are hard. No one is going to argue with you on that one, I guarantee it. Moving, school changes, college, jobs, losing friends and making new ones, health issues, family problems; all of it’s overwhelming and no one ever likes it. This world is filled with pain. Our human bodies are sinful in nature and prone to experience hurt. So what do you do when you feel like you are breaking? Is...
I felt a twinge of jealousy crawling up my spine as I stared at the words on my computer screen. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. A friend of mine had just received her very first book contract. My heart immediately sank inside my chest. I wanted to be happy for her. I wanted to be excited. However, I was anything but excited. I was jealous, frustrated, and angry. Her accomplishment was...
My mother was adamant. “You’ve started to wrap your whole identity up in, ‘I’m sick. I can’t do that.’ That’s not healthy!” Her words shocked me: because they were true. I was sick. There were many things I couldn’t do. But it had become my identity. It’s not as if I wasn’t actually ill. This week I had spent more time in bed than out, unable to convince my exhausted body to simply shower. It had...
rebelling against low expectations
