rebelling against low expectations
I shook as the waves of grief ripped through my body. The pain of this one moment had left a scar on my heart that would last forever. My mind raced with unanswered questions. More pain. My thoughts quickly reverted to prayer. Why, God? Why now? Why this? Lord, I don’t understand. Help me to accept this. I cannot carry this burden on my own. It is too heavy… please… I beg you...
Several years ago I got sick. The thing about this sickness was that I didn’t get better. Days dragged into weeks and weeks dragged into months until the months turned into years. Still there was no sure end in sight. Some days are harder than others. My illness plays games with my brain and I start to forget things and feel like the world is closing in on me. I get confused and it is hard for me...
Joseph’s Hardships He sits alone in a prison cell. He was supposed to be freed months ago. But apparently he had been forgotten. Again. Actually, he shouldn’t have been in prison to begin with. But lies and rumors had landed him behind bars. Before this, he had worked so faithfully for his master, doing whatever he asked, going above and beyond. And yet, here he was. Actually, he shouldn’t...
I really like being in control. I always have. I enjoy knowing exactly what is happening, when it is happening, why it is happening, and how I can change it. I know everyone values different things, but I’m pretty sure most people can relate to some extent. Because of my obsessive (and often sinful) desire for control, there was one question that graced my lips more often than any other. Why...
Life is hard. Although “hard” is relative and looks different for everyone, this is an inescapable truth to which we can all relate. Pain. Depression. Grief. Heartache. Anxiety. These are just a few of the things that can knock us down, hold our attention, instill fear, and test our faith. There are real reasons to hurt. We as Christians should never minimize that. But friend, there...
I can still remember the time when I lost a very close friend. I still remember the way it hurt and the way I cried into my pillow. I still remember the sadness I felt in my heart when I thought of this friendship. I can imagine you understand those feelings too. I imagine you also know what it’s like to “break up” with a close friend. While we always hear about boyfriend and girlfriend break...
Every single day, Satan whispers the same lies to me. He tells me I’m ugly and I should look a different way. He says everyone looks better than me and I need to follow his agenda to look like them. He convinces me I will always struggle with an eating disorder and I should give up the fight against it. Though some people can easily fight lies about their body image, I can’t. Because of my...
It’s almost noon, and today I almost broke down twice. I’m supposed to be happy, filled with joy, but today I can’t do it. I’m utterly broken, filled with that inexplicable sadness, and I don’t want this holiday season to come. Why? Because then I have to be happy–and that’s a foreign concept. I have to set aside my sorrows and somehow find joy. This year I’m not sure that’s something I can...
Tears. I flittered around a bit while considering what I should write about until one topic brought tears to my eyes. And that topic is tears. We look all around us and observe and experience sorrow. Why do we have trials when we pray for blessings? Is God is looking out for our best interests? When will all this suffering end? We all ask these questions when our lives seem to be covered with...
I asked God to break me. Little did I know then what the consequences of that prayer would be. I asked God to break me before Him. To create an environment where He was all that I had and He was all that I needed. I wanted to grow in huge ways in a short amount of time. I wanted to feel the presence of God like never before. Out of the blue, life took its toll and left me alone and hurting. Due...
rebelling against low expectations
