rebelling against low expectations

How can I help a friend who seems to be drifting away from God?


ANONYMOUS WRITES: I have a friend at my church (well, more of an acquaintance than a friend) who used to be very involved and engaged in her Christian walk. She seemed to have a genuine interest in living a godly life. Yet now she’s drifting away. She comes to church less and less, is dating an unbeliever, and no longer shows much interest in faith. How can I help her?

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  • I don’t have a lot of advice, having never dealt with this, but I do know one thing that always works, and that is prayer. Pray for this girl often! Whenever you start to worry about her, just pray. Pray that God would work in her heart and that He would give you wisdom in this situation.

    The other important thing is just to show compassion. Be friendly to her when you see her. Ask how she is. Make conversation. Sometimes, just seeing that someone cares about them can make all of the difference in a person’s life.

  • I would say what Grace said. Pray for her often. And whenever you do see her make her feel welcome and loved at church or where ever your paths cross. Let her know that you still care about and love her.

  • Praying is the best in this situation. God will hear your prayers! So Pray Pray Pray!! Try to invite her to church more and be nice to her in all of the ways you can! I really hope she comes to christ more than she ever did!

  • My youth pastor says any Christian is capable of commiting any sin at any time. So don’t lose hope, if you really think she’s saved confront her on it, the spirit will do the work. It’s also entirely possible that she was never saved in the first place. Either way, she needs the gospel. Whenever you talk to her, go deep. Learn where she’s coming from, talk about your own sin and how knowing it’s paid for has helped you fight it. Obviously, this is an approach that could be very passive aggressive so check yourself first. The goal is not, just, that she changes; but that this situation shows God’s goodness.

  • I understand a piece of this situation- I had a friend that it seemed like was becoming a Christian, but then began drifting from God. The hardest thing in this relationship has been watching her and praying for her, trying to figure out how to bring her back to God. Pray, pray, pray. Don’t give up on her, and pray. Be her friend no matter what, because in doing so you are being a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Be honest, share your fears, share what is going on in your life. Pray that God will teach you to live for Him, and that it will show to everyone else and point to Him.

  • PRAY! Often and HARD! Pray that God will put someone in her life that will gently nudge her back to Him. Who knows it may even be you! But keep her in you prayers, be friendly to her, ask hows she’s doing and make small talk. I’ll be keeping her in my prayers as well.

  • Something I forgot to say earlier: it isn’t your fault if she drifts away, or if she’s there for a long time. You are not the person who will “save her”- only Jesus does that. Your job is to love her and point her to Jesus, but sometimes you have to let go and remember that she’s God’s. Remember that it isn’t her job to make her believe. Okay, it is and it isn’t. It’s your job to show Christ to her, but that decision to follow Him and come back to Him has to be hers. That was one of the things that I wrestled with for a long time until I realized(with some help from my dad) that I wasn’t responsible for MAKING her believe. That’s God’s job. My job is to love her and be her friend, that she may see Christ in me. Hope you understand what I’m trying to say, sometimes my thoughts don’t translate that well into words. 😀

  • There’s already some good advice posted, but I just wanted to mention something you should keep in mind as you try to encourage her to look to Jesus. Generally when a Christian who seems to be strong all of a sudden seems to be noticeably struggling it is not simply a low spot, it generally stems from something big that happened in her life. There’s usually a root cause causing them to doubt their walk of faith and relationship with God. This might be difficult since you may not know her so well, but trying to find out if there is a deeper issue and being there for her in the issue might be a good way to get deep. Speaking from experience when I went through a similar issue I more easily opened up to those who tried to get to my root cause instead of going straight to my “spiritual low”. Then after they began to acknowledge the cause I appreciated their pointing me to the truth. And they more understood what I was lacking in. (helped me sort out my own confusion in what I needed.) Hope this helps!
    By His breath, Dorothy Elaine

  • Try to invite her to something like a party with you and your other Christian friends. Pray, pray, pray. And don’t give up hope that she won’t come back to God.

rebelling against low expectations

The Rebelution is a teenage rebellion against low expectations—a worldwide campaign to reject apathy, embrace responsibility, and do hard things. Learn More →