As a senior in high school, I was sitting in a room full of teenage girls in a small group Bible study. I was one of the oldest, single, and the majority of the younger girls were dating – most as young as fifteen. Those who weren’t dating admitted feeling inadequate as a result.
This troubled me, and it still does. I’m still single – never been on a date. But God has me right where he wants me. I’m content waiting for the man my Heavenly Father has for me – more than content, I’m happy! Not because I don’t want to get married and have a family someday, but because, during this waiting, I’m discovering myself, learning my own strengths and weaknesses, and coming to a confident understanding of my identity in Christ.
Pursuing a career, making independent decisions, trusting wholly in Christ . . . these things would not happen for me in the same way if I were in a relationship.
If you’re a young woman waiting for the man God has for you, hear this today:
Relish This Time in Your Life (And Use it to Grow)
Because it will never come again. Right now, the whole world is at your fingertips. You can move forward on the passions God has placed in your heart. So do it! You can wait and pray and look forward to a future relationship while still appreciating the opportunity of singleness in this time of your life.
But even more importantly, discover God. Pursue him with all your heart. Use this time wisely! Use it to connect to his Word and root yourself in his truth. Stretch yourself, challenge your comfort zones, exercise your faith.
Consider a daily habit – if you don’t already have one – of intentionally sitting down and tithing, even just a few minutes of your day, to God. Journal, pray, and read Scripture. Start as simple as you want to, just be consistent. And be there, present with him. Turn off the phone and give God your undivided attention. Be intentional in training your heart and mind to look upon him.
Pray in the Waiting
Pray for your future husband. Pray that he would grow in his relationship with God. Pray for his future, his career, the friends in his life. Pray that every experience he has would build him up to be a man of God. Just think of the testimony it will be one day to him that you invested your time and energy in praying for him – when you didn’t even know who he was.
Make Your List
This is a two-fold idea. First, God has given us a clear picture of the qualities we are to look for in a man. As followers of Jesus and daughters of God, we should settle for nothing less.Don’t settle for someone who isn’t putting God first or is halfhearted in their pursuit of God. Click To Tweet Too many relationships end badly because one or both parties left God out of the equation. Make a list that reflects the godly character qualities the man in your life should have – or be striving to achieve. Character qualities that will contribute to a godly, Christ-focused marriage such as selflessness, humility, a deep love for God’s Word, and integrity. By knowing beforehand the marks of a godly, mature man, you’ll be able to discern those qualities in a guy—or observe the lack of them.
Ephesians 5 gives husbands a heavy weight of responsibility: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” A man won’t be able to live out this command someday if he’s not growing in godliness and maturity today. And the same is true for us. Every character quality we put on our list should be one we’re praying to grow within ourselves.
Secondly, don’t be afraid to make your list. Let’s say you want to have kids someday – or you dream of traveling. Don’t give up those dreams because you don’t think you’ll be able to find a guy who shares them but give them to God. Don’t give in to the lie that you’re just being “too picky.” God knows the desires of your heart and he knows what you need. If the dreams and passions within your heart are of him, who’s to say he didn’t give you those desires for your future husband because those are exactly the things he created in him?
A woman I deeply admire (who is now married and has two kids) went all through high school and college and into the workplace without ever dating because she set so many “requirements” for her future husband. Her friends criticized her for it, but God knew what he was doing, and eventually, put a man into her life who fulfilled every desire on the checklist.
Remember: You Don’t Have to Measure Up to Your Friends
Are you in a friend group in which all the girls are dating? You don’t have to measure up to their standards – only to God’s. And he WILL grant you strength in the waiting. Their story isn’t your story—and that’s okay.If Christ has a husband for you in your future, rest in the knowledge that he will orchestrate every detail for that to happen. Take this precious time in your life to become rooted in his truth and secure in his love. Click To Tweet
Society wrecks God’s design for relationships, and especially sexuality. Now more than ever we, as young women intimately and purposefully created by God, need to lean into his Word, his guidelines . . . and learn to love the wait.